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@itshumphreys-blog
“I’m sorry- Are you following me? I swear you’ve been trailing me for at least ten minutes. Minimum.”
“Oh wow, Brooke. You caught me. I’ve been following you this whole entire time. I mean, it’s not like I have anything else better to do with my life.”
Serena’s eyes lifted, already sensing that an argument was to come. While she was undoubtedly happy to see her boyfriend, she wasn’t iblivious to the fact that she’d been distant as of late. Catching her lip between her teeth, she stopped wheeling the suitcase and let it rest in her hand, moving to hug him and plant a kiss on his cheek. “I missed you, Dan.”
His whole body stiffened as Serena moved in closer towards him. There once was a time when the slightest touch from Serena--the grazing of her soft lips as they brushed against his, the tangling of her fingers as they laced themselves with his unruly locks of hair--would send shivers down Dan’s spine. The good kind of shivers. The kind that Dan reveled in. But these shivers currently streaming down his spine were different. The bad kind. The kind that left Dan counting down the seconds until Serena would finally break away from their unrequited embrace. “Sure,” he said flatly. Part of him hoped that she really meant what she said. Maybe she had missed him so much that she had decided to come back. But then there was another part of him that knew that Serena’s words were meaningless. She didn’t miss him. She didn’t even care about him. If she did, she wouldn’t have left. “I should go,” he began to back away from Serena, wanting nothing more than to find refuge somewhere else away from this strained encounter.
Long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care.
“Winter Dreams,” F. Scott Fitzgerald
notsogoldenanymore:
Taking brisk steps, Serena kept her head low and eyes cast downward, hoping, pleading to make it back to the apartment without running into anyone familiar. Just as she turned a corner, she collided into someone, a small groan escaping from her lips as she recognized them instantly. “Er…hi” She retorted weakly, wanting anything than to unpack and hide away.
“I’m s--,” Dan began, feeling a little embarrassed that he had been so engrossed by his phone that he had carelessly bumped into someone. Yet, he stopped in the middle of his sentence once he got a good look at who he had ran into. Serena. Without even a simple goodbye, she had disappeared, leaving Dan all alone and slightly hurt. He tucked his phone into his blue zip up hoodie. "Hey,” he replied, his tone coming off somewhat cold and resentful.
“Good, because you’d be one ugly ass woman. I bet they’re all invalid, too. Sometimes you just gotta let loose, although I guess you don’t really know the meaning of that considering you were stuck behind a computer for god knows how many years. Or you know, the dick who told the world that my sister is -well, was- a prostitute. That’s just semantics, though.”
“Wow, I don’t whether to be relieved or offended. Thanks...I guess? Let’s see. Why don’t we take a stroll along tequila memory lane. Hmm..oh! I remember this one time--it was actually my first time downing a tequila shot--I basically choked on my drink because it was too strong. That was really fun. No one even bothered to see if I was okay or anything, which is always cool, too. Another memorable time was when I took like two tequila shots at a rooftop party freshmen year of college. Two. I hooked up with Georgina Sparks that same night. I’m sure you understand what a huge disappointment that was...well, not at the time because Georgina and I had this...weird attraction thing, but that’s not the point. The point is tequila lowered my inhibitions enough that I would actually sleep with someone as god awful as Georgina. I can list countless of other times when tequila was not my friend. There was only one time when it actually was my friend and that was a threesome, but that’s pretty much it. Right... Your sister. Look, I really--more than anything--feel bad about that.”
Jenny raised a brow from behind her desk as she listened, “Okay, so you dressed like that before dressing like that was a thing?” she asked, her words coming out more slowly than normal for clarification of what he had said, “You do realize that’s like the definition of a hipster?” she asked with a laugh, “But no, you’re totally not one. Forgive me for accusing you of it,” she added sarcastically. “Fine. In ten more years, when you decide to check your phone again, text me and we can meet up for lunch or something. See, that’s the amazing thing about phones. They make making plans to meet up to do the face to face contact thing really easy.” Even though she had literally known him her entire life, Jenny couldn’t help but be entertained by her brother’s incessant rambling. “Yeah, facebook’s still a thing… kind of. It’s there, but I think only middle aged moms go one there, now. Everyone else is on Twitter, Instagram, and occasionally Tindr,” she explained. “And Blair and I’s relationship is strictly a working one. We never discuss anything that’s happened before or else we probably would be at each other’s throats and nothing would ever get done,” she explained. She didn’t want to add that if she ever did bring up old issues she’d likely be banished again, no matter how talented Blair thought she was. So, she had gotten to the point where pretending none of those things had ever happened was safer than dwelling on what used to be. “Don’t act offended. You know you’d take a call from a publisher over talking to me. It’s a Humphrey thing,” she pointed out, “And I’m glad you’re good, but I’m not so glad you’re lying about it. I think I know you a little better than to let you get away with that.”
He let out a small laugh that seemed to falter instantly the very moment it had escaped his lips. “I guess, for someone who claims not to be a hipster, I pretty much sound like one, don’t I?” Dan lowered his head. His eyes became preoccupied with his fidgeting thumbs placed on his knees. He remembered when he was younger there were times when Dan had made silly vows to stay mad at Jenny forever. Usually, it was because his sister had done or said something that irked Dan past his breaking point, which didn’t take that long to surpass considering how already peeved Dan was half the time. He would yell at Jenny, banishing her from his room for all of eternity. The image of Dan’s scrunched-up face as he stomped his feet around his room with arms folded across his chest almost brought a smile to his face. It was nostalgic moments like that reminded Dan of the good times when a short giggle or a wide cheeky grin from Jenny could just melt all the anger away. In this moment, Dan had wished that Jenny’s laugh could melt away all the distress Dan had been feeling as of late. “Right,” he mumbled without averting his attention from his thumbs as they continuously shuffled around, “I think I’ve heard of Tinder before.” He lifted his head once again, only to focus his eyes on the ceiling rather than Jenny’s face. He continued, “Some guys were talking about at this new coffee shop I’ve been going to. It’s like a phone app thing for hooking up with hot babes.” Dan raised his arms to form quotation marks with his fingers when he said “hot babes”. He slightly shrugged as his eyes descended to the floor. “The coffee shop douchebags’ choice of words, not mine.” Jenny’s words sort of drifted past him as he focused all of his attention onto the floor. He figured if he didn’t listen to her reply to his thoughtless comment about Blair than the guilt wouldn’t affect him so much. He almost didn’t notice that she had changed the subject. “Huh?” Dan averted his eyes away from the carpet and finally onto his sister. His mouth became dry when Jenny had caught his little white lie. “Oh, um,” he hesitated, slowly slipping from the arm of his chair to the cushion, “it’s nothing. Things have been just really shitty lately, that’s all. This stupid film adaptation, the new Gossip Girl, and Serena. Nothing seems to be going good for me right now. And I know that may sound too idealistic. I mean, I know not everything in my life is suppose to be good or easy, but things just seemed so different after I came out as Gossip Girl. Things were finally looking up. But now, everything is just, for lack of a better word, crap.”
“I…uh…just needed some fresh air,” he lied, putting on his traditional Keaton smirk. “You’re not out here meeting Gossip Girl or something, are you? Planning on retaking the throne?”
Dan squinted his eyes slightly, not completely sure whether he should be leery of Julian or disregard the fact that he was walking around the streets of New York in the middle of the night all together. Any and all doubt soon shed away once Julian’s lips formed a smirk, for there was something reassuring about it that made even Dan, the most neurotic person in all of New York City, feel at ease and made all his previous suspicions seem insignificant. He shook his head before looking down at his shoes. “No,” he replied somewhat irritated as he lifted his head once again, “no, I’m not meeting Gossip Girl here. She can keep the throne for all I care. “
“What’s wrong with tequila? It can give you energy a lot faster than espresso can. Let’s play a game - you get really hammered and then let’s see how many people actually help you home. I call it ‘Gossip Girl Gonzo.’ Daniel, serious question though: are you actually a woman?”
“I could give you numerous reasons as to why tequila is not a good idea. God, Nick, no. I’m not a woman. And I’m not playing this game. Number one because it is stupid and childish. Number two because you’re basically setting me up to fail. No one here is going to help me home because they all probably recognize me as the dick who posted about their secret nose job or their drunken one-night stand with their best friend’s girlfriend.”
“I’m just…a little jumpy, I guess. Sorry, man. You can never be too careful walking around this part of town at night. What are you doing out, anyway?”
“I could ask you the same thing. I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would take a walk. You?”
“You do know that phones are a thing, right?” she asked, head cocked to the side. “I know you’re into the whole raggedy hipster kind of thing, but they’re actually really amazing and allow you to keep in touch with your sister even when your schedule is packed full,” she added. Though she supposed he could same to her since she hadn’t done too much to try and keep in touch lately, either, but it was easier to blame him. “But things are as fine as they can be. And you should know by now that if that had been an important call, I would have ignored you. So, what about you? How are things?”
"Okay, first of all,” Dan sauntered from the entrance of his sister’s office towards a nearby chair, “I’m not a hipster, okay? I've been dressing like this for years even before there was even such a ridiculous thing as a hipster.” He perched himself on the arm of the chair. “Second of all, I have a phone. I just so happen to be one of the few people left in this world who doesn't completely immerse themselves in technology and much more values the ancient act of interacting with someone face-to-face rather than on someone’s Facebook wall or whatever. Do people still use Facebook? I think so.. I don’t know; I deleted mine a long time ago. Anyways, I’m glad everything’s fine. I’m surprised that you and Blair aren't at each other’s throats by now.” Dan could feel his stomach contort into knots. Why did he have to bring up Blair? A pang of guilt suddenly hit him. Even though her banishment had been revoked, Dan still felt guilty that it had been established in the first place. He had been there when Blair banished his sister from Manhattan and instead of speaking up, he did nothing. He shook his head as if he was trying to shake off his regrets. “Um,” he gulped, “right, I didn’t think of that. I guess I thought I was more important than a phone call, ha. Sorry. I’m good, though.” That was a lie, but Dan didn’t want to burden Jenny with his problems.
“You think I’m just a pretty face, wow Dan. I’m almost insulted. But how are you holding up? You know with Gossip Girl’s reappearance and all the drama that comes along with it.”
“No, no, I’m sure there’s more to you than meets the eye... I think? In all seriousness, though, fifteen seems like a pretty significant number of missed calls. I’m guessing whoever it is was definitely anxious to reach you. If I were you, I would star 69 and find out who it was. I'm...unbelievably stressed, actually. When I ended Gossip Girl, the whole point was to finally complete this chapter in my life that I had been writing for--what, like six years?--and move on. She wasn't supposed to resurface from the grave. It’s like no matter what I do I can’t seem to escape her. I never could when I was her and I still can’t now. I feel like this is all my fault. We’re--well, actually, you guys are reliving the same nightmare all over again. The same nightmare that I put you all through for six unbearable years because I was being such a selfish dick.”
“No, I already told you that that fabric’s not going to wor- Hold on- Actually I’ll call you back in a later. And while you’re waiting, find a different fabric.” She hung up from her call and looked to the person in front of her, “Yes, hi, did you need something?”
"Sorry,” Dan apologized, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “I just thought I would come by and see how everything’s going. I know I've been kind of MIA lately. There’s just been so much going on with the film and...” Dan trailed off. He didn't want to mention Serena and the future of their relationship, which now looked very bleak, to Jenny. Mentioning their crumbling relationship would only bring up feelings of shame and failure for Dan. “Anyways, I hope that wasn't an important call because you know I could have waited for you to finish.”
“I have 15 missed calls from a blocked number. Doesn’t a horror movie start this way?”
“Yeah, I think so--or actually, it might have been one missed call, not fifteen. I can’t remember. It was a dumb movie, anyways. But if this is shaping out to be just like a horror movie, your days are numbered, my friend. I mean, you know that it’s always the pretty ones who die first, right?”
“What…the fuck did you just say?”
“Look, all I said I was that you don’t have to be so rude about it. I get that I bumped into you and all, but it was honestly an accident.”
“I swear I saw your mouth moving. You okay there, Humphrey? You look like you’re going to pass out any moment. You should take a shot.”
“A shot of tequila? No. A shot of espresso? Yes, thank you. I need it, especially after the long restless night I had last night.”
