[itsjstmyvoice]

LIES

Why lies?

Does everything you said to me are real?

Or is it just lies to make me feel less hurt and keep your reputation?

You have been contradicting yourself way too much.

If im useless just straight out tell me that.

Don’t give me any hint of hope when you obviously know there isn’t.

You thought I’ll forgot about you when time goes by?

I won’t forget anyone who take my trust and break it.

If you want me to hate you.

Congratulations you may have done it.

Sorry for being such a dick I’ve issues trusting people im a paranoid fucker.

[itsjstmyvoice]

why...

It’s been 2 month plus... im still getting hurt hearing you being close with other guys. I’ve finally accepted the fact that we broke up, but I couldn’t accept that you found someone so fast. I know it might not be true my sources about you might be false because I believe everything you said. That’s why it hurt when i heard about it. Im so hurt im devastated everyone tolds me negative things about you, but i still believes you are not that kind of person.

Is our relationship true?

Is our break up reason true?

Is everything about you true?

I don’t know. I guess I don’t know much about you after all.

#MyNegativity

[itsjstmyvoice]

Im fucked up

I can’t seems to make myself to study no matter how hard I try. My motivation just isn’t there. I know the how important this exam is. Im just not able to study and get shit in. Im so FUCKED

[itsjstmyvoice]

Expectations

What are expectation’s for?

Good or bad who knows.

You expected things to go in your way.But it doesn’t

You expected someone to respect you.But they don’t

You expected to score well for test. But you didn’t

When thing doesn’t go as your expectations isn’t it frustrating? Instead of expecting why not embrace the surprises. At least it’s less frustrating.

[itsjstmyvoice]

Im fucking weak

I always thought i have let go but each time knowing you with some other guys just fuck the shit out of me. It fucking hurt. It’s painful. Im so tired. Tired of all this. I want everything to end. I don’t want to be jealous over this anymore. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. My hatred is growing strong. Im losing myself. Im losing hopes for everything. Why does this feeling have to exist. I have doubts. Doubts on everything. Can anyone still be trusted at this point.

[itsjstmyvoice]

This is fucking bullshit. Even we have broken up for so long i still get fucking jealous for seeing you with other guys. I hate this fucking feeling. I fucking hate everything.

[itsjstmyvoice]

Regrets

As Time goes i have slowly starting to regret on decisions i have made so far.

I should had took o level back then.

I shouldn’t had sign for sponsorship.

I should had chosen a course i might actually like.

I shouldn’t had choose a school because of cca.

I shouldn’t had go to places that worried someone.

I shouldn’t had talk to certain people that worried someone.

I should had listened to that someone.

I shouldn’t had taken up that relationship.

I should had keep our friendship.

Because of all these. I’ve changed. Or im still changing. Changing into something that’s not what im used to be.

Positive,cheerful,carefree,optimistic

Negative,dull,anxious,pessimistic

.......

[itsjstmyvoice]

Hatred

Fuck your personality

Fuck your attitude

Fuck your mindset

Fuck your existence

If you don’t respect your siblings okay fuck you

At least fucking respect your parents oh wait you’re fucked up being you failed at that as well.

You’re a fucking faggot you should just fucking be gone.

[itsjstmyvoice]

Why do you have to do this to me. I wouldn’t become like this if you didn’t push me into this relationship. We could had stay as friends from the beginning so I won’t be overly attached to you. Now seeing you out with other guys hurt me a lot. Likefucking lot. Im reaching my breaking point. I don’t want to hate you but by holding it it’s breaking me bit by bit. Im so tired. Tired of being nice. Tired of holding tired of seeing you happy. Tired of everything. I should had rejected you from the beginning. I wouldn’t be suffering like this if this whole thing doesn’t happen. You told me to believe in fate you told me you will keep wearing the necklace you told me a lot of things but I don’t feel that you’re telling me the truth. Im so lost. I want everything to end now.

Im tired.

[itsjstmyvoice]

Im reaching my breaking point

[itsjstmyvoice]

What is right? What is wrong? I have no idea anymore. I just want to stop thinking but I can’t i just can’t.....

[hidethesorrow]

[suckmyassbitchh]

[itsjstmyvoice]

I just wanna scream so hard now