Life As I Learn It!

.. i wonder

[itsjustrocky]

“Lover girl” but you don’t love yourself enough to leave certain people and situations behind. A true lover girl must love herself first.

[itsjustrocky]

Everybody wants me but nobody wants me.

[itsjustrocky]

Learning to hold my own heart!

Tonight I said something vulnerable.

Something honest.

Something that came straight from the place in me that motherhood has opened even wider.

I told him how wild and beautiful this chapter feels…

how loving our baby has made me love and appreciate him more.

I meant every word.

It felt big to say it out loud.

And when he replied, his words were kind—

but they didn’t meet the depth of mine.

It wasn’t rejection,

just… a softness that didn’t land where I had hoped.

And it made me feel a little invisible in that moment.

I realized how easy it is to want someone

to echo back what we feel,

to hold the same weight,

to match the same heartbeat.

But love doesn’t always move evenly.

People process differently.

Sometimes what feels huge to me

might feel quieter to someone else.

And that has to be okay.

What matters is that I didn’t silence myself.

I didn’t shrink.

I didn’t pretend to be detached or guarded.

I spoke with an open heart.

And even if he couldn’t meet me where I stood,

I’m still proud of myself for standing there.

For feeling deeply.

For telling the truth about the way motherhood is changing me.

I can love someone without needing them

to match every word or emotion.

I can let people be where they are

without abandoning myself.

Tonight I learned that loving honestly

is not a weakness—

it’s strength.

And I’m choosing to hold my own heart,

gently, proudly,

even when someone else’s hands feel unsure.

[itsjustrocky]

Intentional

Wow… we had a baby.

[itsjustrocky]

I am only grieving so much because i have loved so much.

- but i am getting better 🙏🏽

[itsjustrocky]

This,

Maybe this is all that’s left for me.

Sitting on this couch… mind racing, heart heavy, eyes tired from crying.

My spirit feels lost. My thoughts feel loud.

Is this really all for me???

The disappointments… the broken promises… the loneliness?

The hurt??? The betrayal???

All this… for little ol’ me?

When does it get better?

When do I feel like I’m finally enough?

When will I have something real? A love that’s mine to hold, not borrow, not beg for?

I’m tired of waiting.

Tired of hoping.

Tired of expecting too much from people who give so little.

I’m just… done.

That’s that.

This is all for me!

[itsjustrocky]

🖤 The Kind of Man I Want!

Healing taught me something real:

I don’t want to control a man.

I want a man who knows how to control himself.

A man whose integrity checks him before anyone else has to.

Who’s loyal because that’s who he is — not because I’m watching.

Who stays grounded in his values even when no one’s clapping.

If he can’t lead himself with discipline… he’s not for me.

I’m not in the business of babysitting grown men’s choices.

I’m building with someone who already knows how to stand on his own.

Choose what’s right — not out of fear of losing me,

but because it’s a reflection of the man you’ve chosen to be.

That’s real strength. That’s character.

That’s the kind of love I’m making room for.

[itsjustrocky]

Would you choose your mom again in another lifetime?

As for me… She’s more than just a Mom, she carried me—and all her grandchildren. My prayer warrior, and one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known. I’d choose her in every lifetime.

[itsjustrocky]

… healing, i guess;

Healing doesn’t mean pretending you don’t feel—it means learning to honor those feelings without letting them lead you back into pain. 🫶🏽

[itsjustrocky]

Lucky you!

If you’ve never had your heart completely shattered, count yourself lucky.

Because no amount of self-care, journaling, therapy, crying, gym sessions, support groups, or “healing” rituals can fully prepare you for the kind of pain that lingers in your bones.

Eventually, you have to pull yourself up—not because you’re fully healed, but because deep down, you know you don’t want to be alone forever.

And that’s the hard part.

Trying again.

Opening up again.

Letting yourself hope again.

Even after all the growth, the first step forward still stings.

But doing it anyway? That’s strength. That’s bravery.

If you’re in that place—if you’re showing up through the ache—I see you. I applaud you.

And I hope one day, you (and I) find a love that feels safe, soft, and so damn deserved.

[6i]

i was a lover in my past life, a lover in this one and i will be a lover in the afterlife

[itsjustrocky]

A gentle reminder..

…and when you find each other, remember to keep each other’s hearts at peace. Life is already hard—don’t make it harder for each other. ❤️

[itsjustrocky]

Happy Father’s Day to all the men showing up and caring for their children—whether they’re your own or you stepped in for someone else’s. Your presence, love, and effort don’t go unnoticed. I see you, and I appreciate you.

[itsjustrocky]

I am not just a vessel.

I am not just the strong one.

I am not just the “give it all” person.

I am a woman who is worthy of being held, too.

I am a soul that still deserves magic.

My heart hasn’t lost its rhythm—it’s just tired right now.

[itsjustrocky]

I can tell you a hundred times to walk away—but the truth is, you won’t leave until you’re ready. One day, you’ll wake up tired of feeling this way, and that’ll be the day you finally choose yourself. That moment hits different. Everyone needs to hear that.

I had to learn that too—and life really does get better. Trust. 🙏🏾

[itsjustrocky]

It rained in my head for years… and now, the flowers are finally blooming. 🙏🏾

[itsjustrocky]

Cancel that subscription!

If he say, “I’m not ready for a relationship,” but still want to sleep with you, vent to you, borrow your peace, and monitor your every move—

you’re not their “almost”… you’re their emotional support hoe.

They want the girlfriend/wife experience with none of the accountability.

A free trial with full benefits and zero commitment?

Cancel that subscription, sis.

Red flag: If they wanted you, they’d claim you.

Everything else is just lies… with a good stroke.