Hi everyone! Well I realize that if I love my children equally (and by that I mean my fanfics), I need to do a masterlist for both of them (And if who knows, there is more to come, that's where they will stay). English is not my first language and I am awful at tagging, so if I forget to tag something please let me know!
Just a heads up, my fanfics are usually with OC pairing, beautiful ladies and wives and a lot of context and descriptions, there is a LOT of angst: fights, tears, screams matches, marital and relationship problems. Basically beautiful people fighting in beautiful rooms (Movies like A Marriage Story, Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?, Malcolm and Marrie, and TV shows like Big Little Lies and Gilded Age are a HUGE inspiration for me)
You can catch all that I'ver written in my AO3
The Sandman
What dreams know about love? (+18)
Pairing: Dream of The Endless/Morpheus x Love!OFC
Summary: The Queen of Love has grown used to the absence of her husband, the Dream King. After banning her from the Dreaming, they only saw each other when Morpheus summoned her for social or marital duties. He would go decades without calling for her, enamorated by a variety of mistresses. It broke Love's heart. Not that her husband cared. However, after being imprisioned for a century, The Dream King wants to regain his Queen's love. She doesn't believe him, not after centuries of neglect. The question is: Can dreams repair a broken heart?
Tag: Established relationship, arranged marriage, regency romance, eventual happy ending, angst, morpheus is a dick prepare to hate, love is eoster from west germanic mythology, typos are to be expected, Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, eventual smut, mildly dubious consent, denial of feelings, slow burn, emotional hurt/comfort, regency romance, strangers to lovers, think like a marriage story, falling In love, loss of virginity, masturbation, extramarital affairs
Jack Abbot x Housewife!Female character (Eleanor)
Summary:Â There were some things people thought they understood. Jack and Eleanor Abbot looked like a certainty. He was a doctor, brilliant, tireless, forged by pressure and long nights. She was a debutante turned housewife, radiant in her element, organizing fundraisers with effortless grace, charming donors twice her age, and arriving at the hospital with boxes of lemon cake for an exhausted staff who barely had time to breathe. They were the kind of couple people pointed to and said: That makes sense. However, between military deployments, overnight shifts, and the relentless churn of the ER, even the most wistful love can erode. Some said that she wanted too much, some said that he gave up. Small absences became long ones, silences stretched and a promissing union turned into a bitter divorce. But are they ready to leave each others lives? Or is this a forever kind of thing?
This a one chapter in the past one in the present kind of fanfic.
Fun Fact: This was originally inspired by The last great american dinasty by Taylor Swift and a thousand of edits that tiktok keep sending me of Bree Van Der Kemp from Desperate Housewife
Tags: Age appropriate relationship (Abbot is 50-ish, Eleanor is 47ish), Suburban wife and suburban life, upper middle class, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Marriage, Post-Divorce, Bickering, Family Drama, Married Couple, Married Life, Jealousy, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Break Up, Established Relationship
Summary: The Queen of Love has grown used to the absence of her husband, the Dream King. After banning her from the Dreaming, they only saw each other when Morpheus summoned her for social or marital duties. He would go decades without calling for her, enamorated by a variety of mistresses. It broke Love's heart. Not that her husband cared. However, after being imprisioned for a century, The Dream King wants to regain his Queen's love. She doesn't believe him, not after centuries of neglect. The question is: Can dreams repair a broken heart?
Notes: No more excuses, I am just having a hard time to write. Sorry to everyone. Hope you guys enjoy.
Tag: Established relationship, arranged marriage, regency romance, eventual happy ending, angst, morpheus is a dick prepare to hate, love is eoster from west germanic mythology, typos are to be expected
TW: Canon Typical ViolenceÂ
It was not difficult to find the root of the disturbance. Morpheus and Eoster both felt it long before they reached its source. The wind drifted in impossible directions. The sky formed patterns that did not belong. Even the grass bore thin cracks across its surface, like crumbs of bread leading them toward the gingerbread house.
With every step, the wrongness became more apparent.
Random houses appearing throughout the Dreaming were nothing unusual. Unlike the Garden, they obeyed no design. One might stand beside a volcano, another upon its summit. Some floated above rivers, others rested beneath oceans. They followed no logic, just as dreams themselves did not.
But this house was different.
It was more than illogical.
Things born of the Dreaming, however strange, still belonged to it. Just as dreamers seldom questioned the impossible while asleep, the impossible here carried its own quiet certainty.
This house did not.
Even the air surrounding it felt foreign.
It was not its gingerbread walls or impossible architecture that unsettled the realm. It was something deeper. Something fundamental.
This was not Dream.
It did not belong here.
Beside Morpheus, Love slowed.
Without a word, she lowered herself to one knee, letting her fingertips brush the grass. Her brows knit almost immediately. The blades bent beneath her touch, yet they did not feel alive. Their texture puzzled herâsomething between velvet and polished plastic. Decorative. Beautiful from a distance, but hollow beneath her fingers, like an artist's sketch abandoned before the details had been finished.
She lingered there a moment longer before a familiar hand appeared in her field of vision.
Morpheus.
She accepted it without hesitation.
His fingers closed gently around hers, steadying her as she rose. Their hands remained together only a heartbeat longer before they continued toward the house.
Neither spoke.
It was not the cold silence strangers shared, but the quiet of two people listening to their own thoughts while trusting the other to remain beside them.
As they drew nearer, Love became aware of something else.
Warmth.
It spread through the house in quiet currents, utterly unlike the Dreaming that surrounded it. It was real. Living.
Morpheus did not seem to sense itâor perhaps he did, for part of Eoster's soul belonged to him nowâbut if he felt it, his expression gave nothing away.
Love, however, could see it.
Memories unfolded around the house like sunlight caught in old glass.
On the balcony, Hector stood behind Lyta, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist as he buried his face against her shoulder, coaxing her to stay just a little longer.
Another memory shimmered beyond the polished kitchen window.
Lyta hurried toward the stove with a startled laugh, throwing open the oven only to discover the cookies beyond saving. Hector followed close behind, apologizing between bursts of laughter, both of them having forgotten the world for nearly half an hour simply because they had become lost in one another.
Love's lips curved despite herself.
She knew something about losing track of time in her husband's embrace.
More memories surfaced.
Hector's awkward proposal.
Their disastrous first date that somehow became a wonderful second.
Fingers shyly intertwining beneath a cafĂŠ table.
Sleepless nights spent whispering until dawn.
And lonely nights.
Nights that belonged as much to Melancholy as they did to Love.
Those belonged only to Lyta.
The quiet ache of widowhood.
The practiced composure demanded by the waking world.
The empty rooms she still spoke into after midnight.
Love closed her eyes.
The memories drifted through her like water through silk.
Lyta had never truly stopped missing him.
She had simply become skilled at pretending otherwise, smiling before others could ask if she was all right.
Hector knew.
Even separated by death, he knew.
He answered every whispered conversation, though she could never hear him.
A faint sting gathered behind Love's eyes.
She opened them slowly, blinking against the tears.
She cherished these memories with the same tenderness a mother might feel while turning the pages of an old family album, each moment carefully preserved despite the years.
Yet beneath that tenderness...
...lay something else.
Wrongness.
The house stood rooted in the Dreaming like a knife lodged in living flesh.
Everything surrounding it tried to accept its presence.
Nothing truly could.
Hector Hall was dead.
Lyta Hall still lived.
A ghost walked where no ghost should.
A child had been conceived where mortal life had never been meant to take root.
The land itself recoiled from the contradiction, even as it cradled it.
"My dream..." Morpheus's quiet voice drew her back.
Love realized she had stopped walking.
He had not.
Instead, he had waited.
His gaze rested upon her with quiet understanding.
Without speaking further, he lifted her hand between both of his and pressed a lingering kiss against her fingers. The words remained unspoken. If he could spare her what was coming, he would.
Love smiled sadly. "I know." Her thumb brushed lightly across his knuckles before she lowered their joined hands. Her gaze returned to the house.
She was seldom present when lovers went eternally separated. Eoster knew what followed every severed bond: sorrow, grief, and the aching emptiness left behind. The pain of witnessing it never lessened, but it was nothing compared to what the two souls inside would soon carry.
She could not mend what had already broken. She could not restore what death already claimed. But she could remain beside them, and sometimes, even the quiet presence of Love made grief a little easier to bear.
Together, they stepped toward the house.
Before either of them could reach for the handle, the front door creaked open of its own accord. Hector Hall stood waiting. Surprise crossed his face for only an instant before recognition settled in.
"Lord Morpheus."
Morpheus regarded him in silence. His expression remained unreadable, though his posture straightened almost imperceptibly. "You know why I have come."
Hector's jaw tightened.
While the two men faced one another, Love's attention drifted. The house was overflowing with memories, each one brushing against her as lightly as cobweb silk.
She saw Hector stretched along the sofa, absentmindedly tucking a loose curl behind Lyta's ear because she disliked wearing her hair pinned for long. She saw Lyta clinging to him in the quiet hours before dawn, terrified that if she loosened her embrace he might vanish.
There were ordinary moments too.
Walks through the little house. Shared cups of tea. Arguments forgotten before sunset. The sort of happiness one never imagines it will someday become precious.
Without realizing it, Love wandered toward the staircase. Her fingertips skimmed the polished banister as she climbed the first few steps of the stairs.
Halfway up, she stopped.
One of the bedroom doors stood slightly ajar. Another memory waited beyond it. Not one of lovers. One of parents. A small crib painted a soft yellow because neither of them had agreed on another color. Tiny socks folded with painstaking care inside a drawer. A half-finished mobile resting on the worktable. Hector had promised to finish it tomorrow.
Tomorrow had never arrived.
Love could almost hear the gentle creak of a rocking chair. The ghost of a lullaby. The laughter of a child not yet born. Her hand came to rest against the banister. She smiled. "Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?"Â
Downstairs, the conversation stopped, she had interrupted without even noticing it, Hectorâs pleading and Morpheusâ judgment. Â
"What?" Hector blinked in confusion.Â
"The child." Love turned only slightly, her gaze lingering on the nursery. A fondness settled over her features, quiet and unmistakably maternal. "Would you like to know?" She traced the smooth wood of the banister with absent fingertips. "Some parents do." A small smile touched her lips. "Others prefer to be surprised." She finally looked back at Hector. "I could tell you." Her eyes drifted toward the unfinished room. "Then perhaps you could finish the nursery."
Hector stared at her. For the first time since Morpheus and her had entered his home, he truly looked at the woman who came with him.
"We..." He swallowed. "We decided we'd wait." His voice sounded strangely small. He had expected the King of Dreams eventually. He had not expected her. There was something about the lady that unsettled him in an entirely different way. She was young and impossibly ancient. Beautiful in a manner he had never witnessed before, yet somehow deeply familiar. She reminded him of the tenderness in old paintings of the Virgin Mary, the kind that made people lower their eyes and repent without knowing why. Hector assumed she must be important by the way the king of dreams looked at her.
 "There is so much love in this house." She slowly descended the remaining steps. Her gaze wandered over the photographs lining the walls, the blankets folded carefully across the sofa, the books stacked beside the armchair. An ordinary home. Built upon an impossible dream. "I can feel it."
She stopped before Hector. "You loved her long before she knew how frightened you were of losing her." Hector's lips parted slightly. "She loved you long after the world told her to stop speaking your name aloud."
He looked down. A faint, disbelieving laugh escaped him, not from amusement, but because she had somehow given words to feelings he himself had never managed to name.
"Who are you?" When he looked back at her, his eyes glistened.
Love regarded him with quiet affection. "You have known me for a very long time, Hector Hall." Slowly, she raised one hand. Her thumb brushed gently across his cheek, as tenderly as though comforting a frightened child. "And I was blessed to know you as well." Her smile lingered. For just a heartbeat, warmth seemed to settle over the room.Â
Then her smile faded.. The light in her eyes dimmed beneath quiet sorrow. She lowered her hand to her skirts, slowly walking to stand by the side of Lord Morpheus. Hector was certain just by the way Lord Morpheus looked at her, that this woman might be either his wife or someone very dear to him.
"You are dead." Morpheus spoke, a calm but absolute voice "This dwelling is an intrusion upon my realm." He held Hector's gaze. "It cannot continue."
"You have known this, Hector Hall, from the moment you chose to remain."Â Love reinforced his words, though there was no severity in her voice. She met his gaze steadily. "You knew this could never last." Her eyes drifted briefly around the room, lingering on the home they had built together. "The Dreaming was never meant to be soil for mortal roots."
Hector drew himself upright. Though he still faced the King, his eyes remained fixed on Love. "I never meant any harm. I only-"
"You only wished to keep what had already been taken from you." Eoster completed his sentence, without hesitation. A sad smile flickered across her face. "I know, child." Compassion settled over the room like candlelight.
The sound of the front door opening made the trio look in its direction. Lyta walked inside as it was an average morning.
The instant Love's eyes found Lyta, every trace of sorrow vanished. Her entire expression softened. There. Beneath the frightened mother's heartbeat...Life. Small, luminous, fiercely alive. Potential curled beneath Lytaâs womb like a sleeping star.
A boy. A beautiful baby boy.
Instinctively, her hand rose to rest lightly over her heart. The purest expression of Loveâs domain. From romantic love comes the familiar affection, one of the oldest and most beloved cycle by Love. Â
It was the creation, the new life which comes with so many possibilities. A whole new life full of loves to be lived. Every unborn child drew something profoundly ancient from within her.Â
Beside her, Morpheus watched in silence. His attention drifted from Hector and lingered on his wife. He saw the wonder bloom across her features. The softness in her smile. For one moment he wondered the impossible.
The thought arrived so suddenly that he almost rejected it before it fully formed. âWould she look upon our child that way?â The image appeared before him with startling clarity. Love, heavy with child. One hand resting over the gentle curve of her stomach. Smiling down with that same quiet devotion. She would look so beautiful. As if such a thing could be possible. But he could see the image almost like a vision or a prophecy, she at her garden in the palace, looking over her shoulder, smiling at him, her frame fullâŚÂ
Foolish. Entirely foolish. He corrected himself.Â
They had only just begun finding one another again after centuries apart. The memories of their marriage would not be easy to forget or forgiven if they ever will. A child belonged to another life in which their marriage started for the right reasons, not as a jest. A child of dreams and love belongs to another future. One he never allowed himself to imagine after Orpheus.
"Hector, who'sâ" Lyta's voice drew him back to the present. He turned to her, the tension in his face softening, though only slightly.Â
"This is Lord Morpheus, Lyta. Remember I told you about him?" he said, his voice unsteady. She looked between the two men, confusion clouding her features. Hector hesitated before adding, more quietly, "He wants us to leave."Â
Lyta stared at Dream. "Why?" There was something about him that unsettled her. Whatever warmth she had found in this place withered beneath his gaze. He stood like winter made flesh, and with every passing heartbeat, her unease deepened.Â
Morpheus answered before Love had the chance.
"Because this cannot continue."
The words struck the room like a stone through glass.
Love lowered her gaze for the briefest moment. A quiet breath escaped her. Her husband... always so direct. So mercilessly abrupt.
Yet...
He was not wrong.
Morpheus remained perfectly still. "A ghost cannot escape death by hiding in the Dreaming." His gaze shifted toward Lyta. "Nor can a living woman escape grief here." He looked around the room. " Do you not see the damage your presence has done to this realm? " His voice never rose. "I cannot permit it to continue."
Lyta looked helplessly toward Love. "Damage?"
Love walked towards a wall adorned with one of the couple's photographs, stopping within arm's reach of the young woman. When she spoke, her voice was as gentle as ever. "The Dreaming is changing around you, child." Her gaze drifted over the walls. "The earthquakes... you must have felt them."Â
Her fingertips brushed lightly over the frame before she eased it aside, revealing one of the long cracks splintering through the wall. "The fractures." She looked back at Lyta. Though the young woman said nothing, the flicker of recognition in her eyes told Love she understood exactly what she was describing. "The instability." A sad smile touched Eoster's lips. "None of it is your fault." The words caught in her throat. She knew they were not entirely true. Lyta and Hector were not solely responsible for the Dreaming's decay, but their presence had become another burden upon an already fractured realm.Â
The next words seemed to pain Eoster. "And yet..." Her gaze wandered through the little home one last time, lingering on the photographs, the worn furniture, the life they had quietly built together. "...this house was built where it was never meant to stand."Â
Hector's shoulders sagged. "Is there anything we can do?" he asked quietly, the certainty that had steadied his voice only moments before now completely gone. "I never wanted to cause any harm."
"I know," Love answered, almost before he had finished speaking. She reached for Lyta's hand first, enclosing it gently between both of hers as though offering what little comfort she still could. Only then did she lift her gaze to Hector. The sadness in her expression deepened, touched with a quiet understanding. "I know you never intended to."
Silence settled over the room. No one hurried to break it.
Morpheus finally did.
"You belong with the dead." His words were neither loud nor cruel. They were simply inevitable.
Lyta shook her head immediately. "No."
Love tightened her hold on her hand. "Lytaâ" The young woman slipped free before she could finish.
She crossed the room in hurried steps and threw herself into Hector's arms, placing herself between him and Morpheus as though her body alone might shield him. "No."
Tears already blurred her vision. Somewhere deep inside she had always known. From the very first morning she had awakened in this impossible house, a quiet voice had whispered that happiness borrowed from death could never truly belong to the living.She had ignored it. She needed to ignore it.
 "I'm not losing you again." Her hands framed Hector's face. Her forehead rested against his. She clung to him with all the desperation of someone trying to hold back the tide with bare hands.
Love felt something inside her break. It was a lover's prayer. One she could never answer. She knew exactly what Lyta was trying to do. Hold on. Just a little longer. One more hour. One more minute. As though love alone could stop time. As though love alone could bargain with death. Eoster had once wished the very same thing.
Morpheus spoke again. "You must go to the place appointed for you." His voice remained gentle. Unwavering. "I am sorry. But you must say your goodbyes."
Love closed her eyes. Her lashes trembled.
Too soon. Too quickly. Too little space for grieving hearts to breathe.
Yet she understood him.
Every moment they delayed, the Dreaming suffered. Every kindness shown to Hector came at the cost of countless dreams and nightmares beyond these walls. She could not condemn Morpheus for protecting his realm. Had such a wound threatened the Garden of Lovers, she knew she would have done the same.
"Hector..." Love's voice broke the heavy silence before his thoughts could drown beneath Dream's decree. Slowly, he looked toward her. "You knew," she said softly. It was not an accusation, only a sorrowful truth. "You knew from the day you chose to remain." Hector lowered his eyes. He did not deny it. "You knew this place could never truly become your home."
His arm tightened around Lyta as she buried her face against his shoulder. "I love you so much," he whispered into her hair.
Love swallowed. The words were painfully simple. Painfully honest.
Beside her, even Morpheus remained silent. Through the bond they shared, she felt him listening. He could never experience love as she did, could never perceive it with the instinctive certainty that belonged to her alone. Yet through her heart, he caught a fleeting glimpse of what filled the little house.
Devotion. Terror. Grief.
The unbearable relief of finding one another again only to be separated once more. "You loved her enough to defy life and death." Love's voice had grown quieter still.
Her fingers curled into the folds of her skirts, hiding the slight tremor that had begun in her hands.
"And I would do it again." Hectorâ grip around Lyta tighten
Of course he would. That was the tragedy. Eoster understood him completely. Better, perhaps, than anyone else in the room. Understanding, however did not make him right.
"My Dream." Morpheus spoke softly. Not a command. A reminder.Â
He felt the ache in her heart. Love was meant to witness the flowering of devotion, to bless unions, to celebrate promises. She was never meant to stand beside them as they were torn apart. He could almost follow the path of her thoughts as they raced ahead, searching desperately for another answer. A refuge in the Garden of Lovers. A forgotten law. Some hidden corner of existence where they might remain together, beyond the reach of fate, beyond the reach of his decree.
But there was none.
Their eyes met. Neither spoke.
âWhy must everything become law?â Hers seemed to ask.
âBecause the world breaks when law is ignored.â Answered his.
Love inspired courage. It inspired sacrifice. It inspired impossible hope. But it also inspired selfishness. Recklessness. The desperate belief that one's own happiness should outweigh the order of the universe. But even love answered to laws older than itself.Â
Their conversation came to an end when Morpheus broke the restless silence, interrupted only by Lyta's quiet sobs. "Dreams of a ghost are nothing more than shapes of smoke beneath a cloudless sky." His gaze settled upon Hector. "Beautiful..." A brief pause. "...but ephemeral."
"You're not going anywhere!" Lyta shook her head violently, cupping Hector's face between her trembling hands. She looked at him as though sheer refusal could keep him from slipping away.
Then she turned on the King of Dreams. "Get out of our house!" Her voice cracked beneath the force of the words.
"Enough." Morpheus's voice cut cleanly through the room. It was neither raised nor harsh, yet the house itself seemed to fall silent around it. Even Lyta's ragged breathing caught for a heartbeat.
He lifted one hand.
Hector drew in a startled breath. His outline shimmered. At first it was almost imperceptible, as though the afternoon light had become strangely difficult to focus upon. Then his hands began to lose their substance. His shoulders. His face. He looked down at himself in disbelief.
"Lyta..." His own voice sounded distant now. Like someone speaking through water.Â
Lyta seized him desperately. "No."Her fingers clutched his sweater, searching for something solid to hold. "No, no... please!"
Hector cupped her face. His palms were already beginning to fade beneath her skin. Tears spilled freely down his cheeks. He rested one final kiss against her forehead. "Tell..." His voice caught. âtell the baby I..." He could not finish.
"No!" Lyta's scream tore through the little house.
Love turned away almost instinctively. Before she realized what she was doing, she had crossed the small distance between them, stepping close enough to bury her face against Morpheus's shoulder. She could not bear to witness the final moments of two souls who loved one another so completely.
Her eyes squeezed shut. "Dream..." Barely a whisper. "Please." She knew it would change nothing. Even so, the plea escaped her.
"Dream, stop!" Rose's voice rang out behind them.
Love's eyes flew open.
The vortex. Her gaze found Rose at once. For the briefest instant, the grief inside her gave way to something colder.
This. This impossible hope. The fracture. The fragile illusion.
It was the vortex.
Lyta collapsed to her knees, the floorboards shuddering beneath the force of her fall. Rose hurried to her side, slipping an arm around her shoulders.
Morpheus stepped forward, his expression unchanged. "Your husband died long ago." The room seemed to stop breathing. "He was a ghost." Another pause. "This was a dream."
"A beautiful dream," Love said almost immediately, her voice softening the edges of Morpheus's words without contradicting them. "And there is no shame in loving him."
Lyta looked at her through tear-filled eyes, desperate, almost childlike. "Then make him stop." Her voice broke. "Please... save him. Fix this."
Love remained perfectly still, holding Lyta's gaze. She truly believed the Queen of Dreams could undo death itself. For one aching moment, Love wished she could.
Mortals so often asked miracles of the very force that had blessed them. They mistook love for omnipotence. They believed that because something was beautiful, it ought to last forever.
If only that were true.
"Hector is gone, child." Saying the words hurt almost as much as hearing them. "But your love is not.""No..." Lyta shook her head again.
"I can still feel it," Love said. Her voice trembled ever so slightly as her eyes lowered to the young woman's stomach. "It lives in you." A small, watery smile touched her lips. "And one day..." Her gaze grew distant, as though she were seeing years not yet lived. "...it will live in his child." She looked back at Lyta. "Love does not die simply because those who carry it do... not truly."
Almost instinctively, Lyta's hand came to rest against her belly.
Morpheus watched the gesture. His gaze lingered there.
"The child is yours, Lyta Hall." He paused. "For now."
"What?!" Rose exclaimed, pushing herself up from the floor where she had remained beside her friend.
The color drained from Lyta's face. "What..." Her voice was scarcely audible. "...does that mean?"
Love's head turned sharply. For the first time since entering the house, genuine disbelief crossed her face. Not because the ancient law was untrue, but because of the timing.
Now? Of all moments?
Lyta had only just watched her husband vanish from her arms for the second time. Her hands were still reaching toward the empty space where Hector had stood, and already Morpheus was speaking of taking a child, the only piece of Hector, Lyta would have.
Morpheus answered with the same terrible calm.
"The child was conceived within the Dreaming."
Lyta stared at him.
"It is mine."
"No." Understanding reached her slowly, almost fearfully. Then it struck all at once. She wrapped both arms around her stomach as though Morpheus might take her unborn child that very instant. The whispered denial barely existed. "No." She stumbled backward, as though distance alone could protect the life growing inside her. Her eyes fixed on Morpheus with naked terror. "You can'tâ" Then they flew to Love. "Tell him!"
"Listen to me." Love was already moving. Her skirts swept past Rose, ignoring her for now, as she reached Lyta before the young woman could stumble again, catching her gently by the elbows.
"No, you listen!" Lyta cried. Grief had become fury now. "He took my husband." Her voice shook so violently the words nearly came apart. "Now he's saying he wants my baby?"
Love felt the accusation strike her almost as sharply as it struck Morpheus. Not because it was fair, but because it was inevitable. "Childâ"Â
 "Don't call me that!" Lyta wrenched herself free before Love could finish. Tears streamed unchecked down her face. "You're the only one here who looks like you care..." The anger collapsed as quickly as it had come. "Please," Lyta whispered,"Please... " She reached for Love's hands again. "Talk to him. Make him stop. Don't let him take him too."
Love's throat tightened. His wife. Once, those words would have filled her with aching happiness. Now they felt like a chain pulling her in opposite directions. She looked at Lyta, then at Morpheus. Her husband met her gaze. There was no command in his expression. No expectation. Only the weary knowledge that whatever came next, they would both have to carry it..
Before their reconciliation, he would have sent her away, unwilling to have her in the midst of a crisis, convinced she would only complicate matters. He would have carried the burden of the Dreaming alone, as he always had.
But not now. Now he stood beside her because he finally trusted her to remain, to share the weight of his kingdom, to share its impossible choices.
She tightened her fingers around Lyta's. "Look at me." Slowly, Lyta did. "The child is yours." Each word was spoken with quiet certainty. "Do you understand me?" Her thumbs brushed away fresh tears. "Nothing my husband, I, or any force in creation can undo the simple truth that he is your son."
"But he saidâ" Lyta mumbled amidst tears
"I heard what he said." For the briefest instant, annoyance flickered across Love's face. A tiny tightening around the eyes. A wife hearing her husband choose the worst possible moment to speak an uncomfortable truth. It vanished almost immediately. Not even Morpheus would have caught it.
"Your child was conceived here," she continued. "Dreams will touch his life in ways neither of us yet understands. One day he may need my husband's guidance." Her hand remained over Lyta's. "But guidance is not ownership. No power in existence can change the fact that he is yours."
â Do you promise it?â Lyta searched her face desperately.
Love's heart twisted. She wished she could promise a future no one yet knew. Instead she said the only truth she could.
"I swear that no one can unmake what you already are." For a moment, Lyta sagged with relief.
Then her gaze drifted to the empty space where Hector had stood. The relief shattered.
"I don't care about prophecies!" she said hoarsely. "I don't care about this place!" Her voice cracked. "I want my husband back!"
Love closed her eyes.
There it was.
The wound she could never heal.
"Lyta Hall." His voice was gentler than before.
She looked up with naked hatred. Love felt it the moment it appeared.
There.
The beginning. The story had already changed. In Lyta's eyes, the King of Dreams was no longer a distant cosmic ruler. He was the dark king from old nursery tales. The one who came for husbands. The one who claimed children. The monster mothers warned their babies about in whispers. And the cruelest part was that Morpheus had no idea he had become one.
"This dream is over," he said. The house dissolved. Walls became drifting light. The nursery faded. The kitchen vanished.
The little life they had built unraveled grain by grain. Lyta would go back to the silence of her bedroom and the tears shed in the Dreaming would still be staining her cheeks in the waking world.Â
For Dream and Love, silence returned. Morning poured through the towering windows of the palace, gilding the marble beneath their feet.
Silence.
The marble halls of the palace received them once more.
Morning light spilled through the towering windows, gilding the polished floors in pale gold.
Love remained motionless.
Her hands were clasped tightly before her, though she did not realize how firmly her fingers had intertwined.
Rose Walker had already wounded the Dreaming once.
She would do so again.
And LytaâŚ
Lyta's cries still echoed in her ears. Hector's unfinished farewell. The terror in the young mother's eyes.
She had witnessed heartbreak before. She had felt it across Creation since the first lovers had been parted.Â
But feeling grief from afar...
...was nothing like standing within it.
Nothing like watching hope die by inches.
She drew a slow breath. Every instinct urged her to tell Morpheus they could wait no longer, he needed to kill the vortex. Not control, not advise. Kill. Or he would rather wait until the fabric of his own realm turned against him?Â
Unexpectedly, another thought crossed her mind.
A dangerous one.
A shameful one.
If pleading was not enough...
Perhaps she could lean into her own Eros nature.
She closed her eyes.
Eros had always been the easiest of her faces to awaken. Fascination. Longing. The irresistible pull that made hearts quicken and eyes linger. It was already there, quietly woven into her existence. She could no more extinguish it than the sun could choose not to shine. Every glance she received, every lingering gaze, every unconscious desire she stirred in anotherâit was simply the consequence of what she was.
But she could choose to wield it.
Just as she could deepen Agape until devotion became fanaticism.
Strengthen Storge until families loved one another so fiercely that everyone beyond their blood became expendable.
Feed Philia until loyalty curdled into blind allegiance.
Every love possessed a shadow. She had learned, long ago, that her purpose was not merely to inspire them, but to keep them in balance.
And Eros...
Eros was the easiest to abuse.
She could persuade him.
Effortlessly.
She knew precisely how.
She could soften her voice. Step closer until scarcely a breath remained between them. Let the sleeve of her gown slip, as though by accident. Tell him how frightened she had become. How much safer she would feel if he dealt with the vortex now.
Promise...
No.
Not promise.
Suggest.
That afterward, perhaps she would finally return to his observatory.
To his arms.
To his warmth.
For one dreadful instant, the temptation settled into place with terrifying elegance.
She knew he would yield.
Revulsion struck at once.
No.
She was not Desire.
Love did not turn affection into leverage.
She could not bargain the affection she had only just begun to offer freely. It would make every embrace afterward suspect, every kiss a negotiation, every moment of tenderness a transaction. If Morpheus agree with her, it had to be because he wished to, not because she had lured him there with the oldest power she possessed.
Ashamed that the thought had entered her mind at all, she lowered her eyes.
He noticed and offered his arm, her fingers unconsciously went to Morpheus's arm. He shifted almost imperceptibly, allowing her to hold him more comfortably.
The gesture was so slight that no one else would have seen it. It steadied her. Only a little.
He glanced toward her.
She looked exhausted.
More than exhausted.
There was a heaviness about her that troubled him. Even the morning sunlight seemed too bright for her eyes. She blinked against it once. Twice.
He almost suggested to her to go back to the Garden and rest. Â
"You killed my friend." The unfamiliar voice cut cleanly through the silence. Not Elijah. Not Lucienne. Not Mervyn. Not Matthew.
Love turned immediately.
Rose Walker. Again. Of course. She had ignore her in the house but this girl insisted in always being noticed.
"How did you get here?" Why couldnât she remain in the waking world? Why did she insist on forcing her way into the Dreaming, carrying disaster with every intrusion?Â
Her fingers tightened around Morpheus's arm.
Instinct answered before thought. Dream moved. One measured step. His body came between his wife and Rose.
"In front of his wife," Rose continued, her voice shaking with anger. " And now you want her baby?!"
Morpheus did not move aside.
"Do you understand why this has happened?" he asked, his voice even. "A vortex gathering strength weakens the walls between dreams."
"I didn't ask for any of this."
"Neither did we, vortex," Love answered quietly. The softness of her voice only sharpened the edge beneath it. "No one here desired your existence less than we did. Yet it seems we are the ones expected to repair every consequence you leave behind."
"I don't want either of you anywhere near me or my friends ever again." Rose took another step. To any other mortal, it might have seemed courageous.
To the King and Queen of the Dreaming, it was almost absurd. Warm blood. Fragile bones. A heartbeat measured in moments instead of centuries. And a immense disregard for danger
She took one step farther than she should have taken.
Love's gaze dropped to the girl's dust-stained boot as it crossed an invisible boundary.
A line of dawn.
Noâ
A blade.
It slipped soundlessly from the sleeve of Love's gown, so clear it was nearly invisible save where the morning caught its edge.
Morpheus had never seen one.
Yet he knew, at once, exactly what it was.
Lightblade.
Forged from the first rays of dawn, it was among the oldest and only gifts ever fashioned by Light herself.
It had not been made for armies, nor for kings, nor for conquest. It answered to no sovereign, no virtue, no strength of will.
It answered only to the Daughters of Light.
Beautiful enough to be mistaken for crystal, or a splinter of frozen dawn, it seemed almost too delicate to exist. Until one remembered what it was.
Its edge was said to part flesh as effortlessly as sunlight parted darkness.
Morpheus stared. For the first time in centuriesâŚPerhaps for the first time in his existence. Dream of the Endless forgot to breathe.
Impossible.
In all their centuries together... He had never seen her draw it. He had never even seen it displayed. Indeed, he doubted she had so much as touched it since the day it had been placed in her hands.
He knew his wife.
Against every intention he had once possessed...
He knew her.
He had learned the slight inclination of her head that preceded forgiveness. The quiet exhale that meant she would relinquish an argument rather than prolong discord. The faint tightening around her eyes before sorrow claimed her. The way she instinctively reached for another's hand before speaking words of comfort.
Centuries spent avoiding her had, despite himself, taught him every small habit she possessed.
Yet as he looked upon her now...
He found something he had never seen before.
There was no tenderness.
No disappointment.
No wounded sadness.
No tears waiting to fall.
Only stillness.
Cold.
Measured.
Terribly ancient.
It was not anger.
Anger burned.
This did not.
"Are you going to kill me?" Rose asked, defiance straining against unmistakable fear.
She had scarcely seen the blade.
Love did not answer.
She merely regarded her.
"I am growing weary of your disrespect, vortex."
There was no anger in her voice.
Only quiet disapproval.
For centuries she had endured whispers in celestial courts.
Gods wondering whether Dream loved his wife. Queens pitying her. Lesser immortals hiding gossip behind jeweled fans, amused that the Queen of Love remained untouched by her own husband.
She had smiled. Redirected the conversation. Allowed the rumors to die of their own boredom.
Whatever private grief those whispers awakened, she bore it without complaint. Morpheus had enough enemiesâif such a thing as an enemy to an Endless could truly exist. She had never wished to add to their number.
It had always been her place to soften sharp words, mend wounded pride, and spare others unnecessary humiliation.
This girl...
This girl had become the humiliation.
She stood in the throne room of the Dreaming. She endangered its King. Its future and still she presumed to speak as though they stood as equals.
"Love." Morpheus's voice was quiet. She did not look at him. Her gaze remained fixed upon Rose. Her hand did not move.
If she chose this course...
He could not stop her.
Death itself did not trouble him.
If Love struck with one edge, Rose Walker would die swiftly. Cleanly. Almost mercifully.
âOne edge grants death.â
The words surfaced from an age so distant he no longer remembered where he had first read them.
But that was not the edge resting near Rose's pulse.
âThe other devours the soul.â
It severed being from shadow. It spilled no blood. Left no wound.
Only an empty shell, forever divided from what it had once been.
No healer could mend such a wound. Not even Death herself could restore what the Lightblade had unmade.
"Your life, until this moment, Rose Walker," Love said at last, "has been a grace my husband extended to you." Her words fell without malice. They carried only the calm certainty of a queen reciting laws older than memory itself.Â
She sounded dangerously alike her sisters.
"Rose," he said quietly, never taking his eyes from the blade. "Listen to me."
"I have listened to you!" Rose cried. "You said a vortex can create universes or destroy them." She lifted her chin, meeting Love's gaze without flinching. "If I'm that dangerous...then stay the hell out of my universe."
For the smallest fraction of a second, Morpheus saw it. The faint tightening of Love's fingers around the hilt. A single pulse beneath the pale skin of her wrist.
Resolve or restraint. He could not tell which.
Before anyone else could move, Rose turned back to him. "This dream is over."
She vanished.
For one impossible instant, the Dreaming fractured like a reflection disturbed upon water. The world flickered, breaking apart into shimmering distortions before reality settled once more, as though existence itself had briefly forgotten how to remain whole.
He did not notice at first how violently Loveâs breathing had become.
Nor how silently tears were slipping down her cheeks.
âMy Dream...â
The words were barely more than air.
Morpheus turned immediately. Gently, he closed his hand over hers, guiding the crystal blade closer to her body, as though shielding it from the world.
Her fingers obeyed without resistance.
Her eyes did not.
They remained fixed on the empty space where Rose Walker had stood.
Her motherâs blade.
She had drawn her motherâs blade against a mortal.
Against a frightened girl.
A vortex, yes.
A danger.
A threat capable of unraveling worlds.
But still a mortal girl.
What was happening to her?
Lightâs voice echoed through her memory with painful clarity.
â A blade exists because mercy sometimes fails. Not because patience does.â
She had promised.
She had sworn she would never draw it in anger.
Had that been anger?
No.
The realization chilled her.
It had not been anger.
It had been certainty.
And even now, with Rose gone, that certainty still lingered like poison beneath her ribs.
You should have acted.
You should have stopped her.
Before she destroys everything.
Love shut her eyes hard enough to hurt.
No. No, that was not her thought.
It could not be.
Could it?
Her stomach turned. She was so tired.
Tired of the vortex.
Tired of warnings being ignored.
Tired of watching danger gather while everyone waited for certainty.
Tired of being patient.
For centuries she had endured loneliness, humiliation, whispers behind jeweled fans, the ache of a husband who had looked everywhere but at her. She had endured it all without becoming cruel.
So why had one frightened mortal girl made her hand reach for the blade? Was this the final straw?
âLove.â Â Morpheusâs voice came softly. Only then did he truly see her. The trembling breath. The tears. The confusion. âLook at me.â
Slowly, she did. âI...â Her voice broke. âI do not understand.â
Before he could answer, hurried footsteps echoed through the throne room.
âMy Lord! My Lady!â
Lucienne entered breathless, too focused on urgency to notice the unstable silence between them.
âLucienne?â Morpheus asked, though his attention lingered on his wife a moment longer.
âMy lord, there is something I must tell you.â
Dream drew a measured breath.
âAnd I will listen. But firstâyou were right. The vortex was responsible for the damage to our realm, and I was wrong to risk our safety in the hope that she would locate the missing Arcana.â
The admission came awkwardly. Morpheus was not accustomed to confessing error.
Perhaps Love had been right.
Perhaps he had waited too long.
A memory stirredâDeathâs dry voice, spoken centuries ago.
âFools are those who ignore the Ladies of Emotion, little brother.â
âYou were not entirely wrong, sir,â Lucienne replied. âShe found them both.â
âWhat?â
âThe Corinthian and Fiddlerâs Green.â
Loveâs attention snapped sharply back to the present.
âThe Corinthian?â
âWhere?â Morpheus asked. âHow do you know?â
âFiddlerâs Green told me.â
An elderly man in a monocle approached from behind her.
âMy lord,â he said, bowing, âforgive me for leaving.â
Morpheusâs expression hardened.
âWhy did you leave? You were the heart of the Dreaming.â
âNo, sir,â Fiddlerâs Green answered gently. âYou were the heart of the Dreaming. And while you were gone... our lady never came. I became curious.â
The silence that followed lingered longer than Morpheus expected.
It was unlike Fiddler's Green to hesitate.
Dream's brow furrowed.
The old dream's gaze drifted, almost apologetically, toward Lady Love.
He understood.
Mentioning the Corinthian in her presence was no simple matter.
Throughout the long centuries in which the King and Queen of the Dreaming had lived more as strangers than husband and wife, no dream or nightmare had presumed to question either of them.
If the King preferred solitude, that was his affair.
If the Queen preferred the company of her subjects, that was hers.
No dream would have mistaken the distance in their marriage for permission to diminish their queen.
Yet some things could not help but be noticed.
The gentler dreams rarely sought her company.
Their King had made his wishes plain long ago. They were to admire their queen from a respectful distance, never allowing themselves to become enchanted by what she embodied.
Nightmares...
Nightmares proved considerably less obedient.
They insisted it was merely because sorrow was irresistible to their kind.
The Queen carried too much quiet grief, they would claim. Too much loneliness. Too much that invited distortion.
They never admitted the simpler truth.
Her sadness resembled their own.
And she listened.
She listened when no one else believed nightmares deserved to be heard.
Over the centuries, the Queen's gardens had become an unlikely sanctuary.
On any pleasant afternoon one might glimpse her beneath the flowering trees, a porcelain teapot resting between elegant hands.
Sometimes Gault occupied the chair opposite.
Sometimes another nightmare burdened by thoughts too heavy to carry alone.
Most often...
It was the Corinthian.
They would spend hours among the roses, speaking quietly, tending the garden, or simply sharing a silence that demanded nothing of either of them.
Sometimes he departed laughing.
Sometimes thoughtful.
Never once had anyone seen Lady Love send him away.
Never once had anyone heard her speak to him with fear.
Whether the Corinthian truly concealed pain beneath his arrogance, no one could say.
But if he did...
He brought it to her.
Fiddler's Green lowered his eyes. He had watched those afternoons many times and had come to understand that whatever passed between the Queen and the Corinthian belonged to them alone. Which was why he found the next words so difficult to speak.
He was not informing his Queen that one of her subjects had gone astray.
He was telling a mother that the child she cared deeply was now a threat to contain.Â
"My lady..." Fiddler's Green said quietly.
Love looked at him.
Something inside her already knew.
"He is murdering mortals." Silence settled over the throne room.
Love lowered her gaze. Not in surprise. In recognition.
"He has gathered people around him," Fiddler's Green continued gently. "Mortals who worship him. They kill for pleasure."
Love closed her eyes. Of course. Of course he had.
She had watched the thought first bloom within him years ago, hidden beneath clever smiles and impossible dreams. She had smiled when they were only harmless deviations, brushing the pale strands of hair from his forehead. How foolish she had been.
How many of her husband's children had she failed...
Believing she was doing the right thing?
"He seeks Rose Walker," Fiddler's Green said.
Love's eyes opened immediately.
No one answered the question forming in them.
They did not have to.
"He believes he can shape her," Love whispered. "He believes she can become the beginning of his new Dreaming."
Another silence followed.
Morpheus reached for her hand, his touch so gentle she could not tell whether it offered comfort... or pity.
"He cannot."
Her fingers tightened unconsciously around the Lightblade.
"But he believes he can."
Fresh guilt washed over her.
She should have seen it sooner.
She had watched him grow restless.
Watched him linger longer in the waking world.
Watched curiosity become ambition.
She had corrected him.
Warned him.
Loved him.
But perhaps...Perhaps she had also allowed him to hope.
Hope.
Always hope.
How many lives had hope already cost?
"I will speak to him," Morpheus said. "Take me to him."
"I am coming with you."
It was not a request.
Dream turned toward her.
"No."
Love met his eyes.
"He will not listen to you."
"You need rest," Morpheus replied. "Return to the Garden. I will come to you as soon as this is finished."
"My lady," Lucienne added gently, "you are exhausted."
Exhausted.
What a painfully inadequate word for the weight pressing upon her chest.
Only moments ago she had nearly condemned a frightened girl with her mother's blade.
Now she stood before the consequences of another failure.
She had not saved Gault.
She had not reached the Corinthian.
How many more would she fail before this was over?
A memory surfaced.
Desire's voice.
From another age, when they had still called each other friend.
Love had rested her head upon their lap while elegant fingers drifted through her curls.
âYou are only made to reign over gentle things, dear heart. Host luncheons and soirĂŠes, break your fast with sugared pastries, worry over aching feet from dancing... and one day, childbirth. Leave the ugly things to your future husband.
"My lady," Fiddler's Green said carefully, "the waking world is not kind. The convention is... disturbing."
"It is no place for you," Morpheus finished.
She looked at her husband.
"Soon," Love answered quietly, "there may be no place fit for any of us if the vortex awakens."
She looked into Morpheus's eyes.
The confusion that had haunted her since Rose Walker disappeared slowly settled into duty.
"Perhaps he is already beyond my reach," she said. "But if there remains even the smallest chance..."
Her voice steadied.
"I am the one he will listen to."
"My lady..." Fiddler's Green tried again. Love turned toward him. There was no anger in her expression. Only quiet resolve.
"When a child has gone astray," she asked softly, "Shoukd his mother remain hidden in her garden, pouring tea beneath flowering trees..." She held his gaze. "...While his father goes alone to deliver judgment?"
Fiddler's Green lowered his eyes.
Morpheus spoke before anyone else could.
"He may force my hand."
She understood.
If the Corinthian refused...
Morpheus would have to unmake him.
"Please," she whispered. The single word carried exhaustion. Fear and a grief she could not yet understand. "Let me try to reach him..." Her fingers found his. "...before you are forced to do what comes after."
one of my favorite succession subplots that i think about all the time is when roman, karl, and laird went to do that business deal and they ended up getting held hostage for like an entire day. and roman just talked about gerri the whole time while karl had a mental health crisis
I know it is been long!! And I Will try to update soon, a lot of things happened (i started and finished my experiment, had some data to run, moving back to Brazil to finish my phd) but I promise it will come
Jack Abbot x Housewife!Female character (Eleanor)
Summary:Â There were some things people thought they understood. Jack and Eleanor Abbot looked like a certainty. He was a doctor, brilliant, tireless, forged by pressure and long nights. She was a debutante turned housewife, radiant in her element, organizing fundraisers with effortless grace, charming donors twice her age, and arriving at the hospital with boxes of lemon cake for an exhausted staff who barely had time to breathe. They were the kind of couple people pointed to and said: That makes sense. However, between military deployments, overnight shifts, and the relentless churn of the ER, even the most wistful love can erode. Some said that she wanted too much, some said that he gave up. Small absences became long ones, silences stretched and a promissing union turned into a bitter divorce. But are they ready to leave each others lives? Or is this a forever kind of thing?
Notes: Hi everyone! Sorry this took too long my phd suddenly is getting crazier. And for those who follow my other fanfic 'What Dreams Know about Love?' your update is coming, I am having a bitch time writing it but I will win. Also this a long A-N-G-S-T-Y chapter.
Tag:Â Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Marriage, Post-Divorce, Age Appropiate Relationship, Bickering, Family Drama, Married Couple, Married Life, Jealousy, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Break Up, Established Relationship, Fluff
Warnings:Â Angsty, mentions of Afheganistan war, accusations of cheating, divorce couple ugly fighting, mentions of prosthetic leg, emotional neglect, physical neglect, all sad things, there is a bit of critique on young girlfriends and age gap relationships, donât hate me it is just the story
If I forget any tag please let me know! As always, there might be ome mistakes that I will hate myself for not noticing it before, please forgive me.
Oh and if you guyes want to ask or comment something please feel free to do it, I love them!
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It was past midnight by the time they finally made it home.
Eleanor didnât see Emery again after the gala, though she hoped her sister had managed to enjoy herself. God knew Emery deserved one uncomplicated night.
The drive back to their house, or rather, Eleanorâs house, passed in an almost comfortable silence.
Low music drifted through the car, Louis Armstrongâs version of La Vie en Rose, the long saxophone solo filling the silence between them. Jack didnât say anything, but he remembered how much Eleanor loved this song. She always insisted Edith Piafâs version was better, but she adored the saxophone in Armstrongâs rendition.
He glanced sideways at her.
Her head rested lightly against her hand near the window, gaze lost somewhere beyond the glass, absentmindedly humming along with the melody.
Ten years ago, she wouldâve been touching him. A hand on his thigh. Small lazy strokes against the fabric of his suit while she asked if his leg was hurting, if he was too tired to drive. They wouldâve talked about the week schedule like they always did: his shifts at the PMTC, lunches with her friends, dinner plans, visits to her mother, whether the maid had finally remembered to refill the soap dispenser in the kitchen.
And Eleanor wouldâve asked if he wanted anything special for dinner over the week. Roast beef. Pork chops. Something slow-cooked she needed to prepare the day before.
Domestic things. Ordinary things. The kind of routine that people stopped noticing until it disappeared.
When Jack parked in the driveway, Eleanor didnât seem to realize they had arrived until he unlocked the doors.
âAlright,â he said quietly.
She blinked, startled back into herself. âHmm? Ahâsorry.â She reached for her bag, fumbling slightly before slipping her heels back on. âI donât know where my mind went.â
Jack watched her for a second longer than necessary.
âThank you, Jack,â she said softly as she gathered her coat. âFor tonight.â
And she meant it. Not with that carefully placed breathiness she used when she wanted something from him. This was smaller than that. Tired. Genuine.
âItâs okay, Ellie,â he said. âI had fun.â
Her brows lifted immediately âLiar.â
Jack laughed under his breath, the lines beside his eyes creasing.
âAlright,â he admitted. âMaybe not all the time. There were definitely moments when I considered shooting myself.â
Eleanor made a quiet âah, there it isâ expression.
âButâŚâ he added, shrugging slightly looking at her âIt had its moments.â He didn't say, probably to not sound too forward, or eager, or just embarrassed to be vulnerable in front of his ex, but all the moments that made it worth it were by her side.
That earned him a real laugh. Soft. Familiar.
God, he missed hearing it.
She shook her head and reached for the door handle.
The click echoed softly in the quiet car.
And when Eleanor stepped outâŚ
Jack did too.
Eleanor paused still by the carâs door, confusion flickering across her face.
ââŚAre you coming in?â
There was something careful in the question. Uncertain. Something pondering in her heart, asking herself, did she want it him to come inside?
Jack stopped cold.
Because only under the weight of her voice, he realized what heâd done. What it looked like.Â
He cleared his throat too quickly, gaze dropping briefly to the driveway.
âJust to grab my clothes.â
A beat.
âOh.â Elenor said, and Jack was sure he was imagining the disappointment in her voice. She nodded once, fast enough to pretend it didnât matter. âRight. Of course.â
Then she turned toward the house again, heels clicking sharper against the stone path.
Jack followed a few steps behind her.
The house greeted them with the kind of quiet his apartment in the city never had.
Eleanor slipped off her coat as soon as she walked in, draping it over the chair near the kitchen before automatically reaching for a glass.
âDo you want water?â she asked over her shoulder while filling it from the tap.
âIâm good.â Jack didnât sit down. Didnât loosen his tie. Didnât make himself comfortable.
âExcuse me,â he murmured, already heading for the stairs.
She nodded, taking a sip while watching him disappear upstairs.
Then the house went quiet again. Except for the sounds above her.
Drawers opening. Closet doors sliding.
Familiar sounds that she had grown used to associate with him staying, were now just temporary.
Eleanor leaned back against the counter, fingers tightening faintly around the glass.
âWhat if I asked him to stay?â The thought arrived instantly. Uninvited. And almost immediately another voice answered it, trying to find excuses for what her sensible self was already planning on arguing. âJust for tonight.â was the justification.
Nothing complicated.
Nothing emotional.
Just another person in the house again, warming the bed, someone she could lay in the chest, who would be the first to check if there was a noise downstairs. Someone who understood the rhythm of the place so well that silence didnât feel uncomfortable around him.
Someone who used to belong here.
Her eyes dropped to the floor, cutting the unwanted fantasy.
âDonât be ridiculous.â
Stillâ
She exhaled slowly through her nose.
Upstairs, Jack shoved clothes into his duffel bag with more force than necessary. In and out. That was the plan. But his attention kept catching on things he shouldnât have been noticing.
The old shirts he never came back to grab, still folded in the drawer.Â
Their wedding portrait sitting on the table by the bed
The faint trace of the same lavender difuser clinging to the room they used to share.
His jaw tightened. âGet your things and leaveâ. Simple. Practical. Safe.
Then another thought slipped in anyway.
âWhat if I didnât?â
He stilled. Just for a second.
What if he walked downstairs and told her the truth? That tonight had felt dangerously close to normal. That seeing her laugh at the table had made something ache inside him all over again. That he misses home. And that she-
He shut his eyes briefly.
She looked too damn beautiful in that dress.
His grip tightened around the bag.
âBad idea.â
Because none of this fixed what had happened between them.
And he didnât get to walk back into her life just because they could still pretend, for a few hours, that they worked.
Give her hope. Give himself hope.Â
He was better. Doing his therapy, trying to establish limits, having a hobby. But it wasnât enough. He knew it wasnât.
So he zipped the bag shut.
By the time he came downstairs, his expression had settled back into something safer. Steadier.
âI shouldââ he started, gesturing faintly toward the front door. âI should get going.â
He took a step.
âJack.â Eleanor hesitated long enough for him to realize she hadnât planned what she was about to say. That alone made him look at her properly. Eleanor never lacked words.
âI thinkâŚâ she began carefully, âI might still have leftovers.â A small shrug, like she was trying to make it casual before either of them could make it something else.
âItâs nothing impressive. But I could make you some lunch for your next shift.â She quickly bit her lower lip. âProbably better than that powdered cheese garbage you eat at the hospital.â
Jack almost smiled.
And the stupid thing was, the offer affected him far more than it should have.
âI donât want to give you trouble, Eleanor,â he said carefully. âItâs late.â But already he could picture it. Real food. Her cooking. Jack could get around fine in the kitchen, but nothing compared to Eleanorâs cooking.Â
She set her glass down. âSit,â she said simply, already opening the fridge. âItâll take five minutes.â
Jack hesitated, she was already moving, he didnât want to be impolite. He left the bag beside the counter instead of keeping it over his shoulder.
âAlright.â
She moved around the kitchen with practiced ease, pulling containers out, checking dates, piecing together something from leftovers that somehow would still taste better than anything heâd eaten in months.
Jack avoided his usual recliner, sitting on the neutral space of the 70,000 dollar couch that still was uncomfortable.Â
A small silence followedâbut lighter now. Easier.
Eleanor closed the lid of the container with a soft snap, then lingered there for a second, fingertips resting against the marble counter as if she were thinking.
âMy dad gave me a really good whiskey a few months ago,â
she said, trying for casual while drying her hands on a dish towel. âIf you want a nightcap.â
Jack looked up from the couch. âYou hate whiskeyâ.
She sighed âI knowâ.
âThatâs a bad idea,â he said quietly.
Eleanor leaned back against the counter, folding the towel in half even though it didnât need folding.
âWhy?â
Jack leaned back slightly against the couch cushions, loosening his tie another fraction as he watched her.Â
His voice alone was enough to make heat creep up the back of her neck.Â
âWhat?â she asked, softer now, reaching for the cabinet âItâs just a drink.â
âYou know itâs not.âÂ
The words settled low between them.
Eleanor reached inside anyway, fingers curling around the bottle.
It was expensive. Of course it was. If her father ever drank cheap whiskey, he had long forgotten it.
âHe gave it to meâŚâ she stopped herself with a small grimace. âWell. Technically he gave it to us. Told me to save it for a special occasion.â
Jackâs eyes narrowed faintly from the couch.
âWeâve been divorced for seven years.â
Eleanor let out a quiet breath through her nose as she turned the bottle slowly in her hands.
âI genuinely canât tell if he forgot we were divorced,â she admitted, âor if he was doing that thing where he has some secret strategy and expects everyone else to magically understand it.â
Jack leaned back further into the couch cushions immediately understanding what she meant.
âThat narrows it down to every interaction Iâve ever had with your father.â
A small laugh escaped her.
Because honestly, the more she thought about it, the less accidental the gift felt.Â
Her father had always believed relationships required âguidance.â Small manipulations disguised as wisdom. Carefully staged opportunities. Eleanor could still vaguely remember being seventeen and rolling her eyes at him telling her that âMen are easier to negotiate with after two glasses of Macallan.â she told him with all the words that was not appropriate to say to his 17 year old daughter, and he just shrugged it off, telling her that it worked fine for Evelyn.Â
She stretched slightly onto her toes to grab two crystal glasses from the top shelf, and Jackâs gaze lifted automatically with the movement.
The black dress shifted against the elegant line of her back.
He looked away a second too late.
âLike the time,â A smile pulled at her mouth as she carried the bottle toward the island. âhe tried to push you into proposing to me and you spent three days convinced he was terminally ill.â
Jack groaned immediately.
âOh, donât start.â
Eleanor was already laughing now, leaning one hand against the counter to steady herself.
âHow was I supposed to know that wasnât a dying man speech?â Jack defended himself, pointing at her with two fingers. âHe sat me down in his office with a glass of bourbon and started talking about legacy and not wasting time with the people you love.â
Eleanor bit back a laugh. âAnd instead of proposing, you spent three days researching oncologists.â
âHe kept sighing at the windows, Eleanor. What was I supposed to think?â
That finally made her laugh properly.
Warm and soft and impossible not to join.
Jack shook his head, smiling despite himself.
âWhen I finally asked if he was sick, your father looked offended for a full minute.â
âWell, â Eleanor said, voice still threaded with laughter, âhe was surprised you hadnât bought me a ring yet.â
âHe couldâve just said that.â
âHe thought he was saying it.â
Jack dropped his head briefly with another quiet laugh, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
God.
This again.
This awful, easy familiarity between them.
Like no time had passed at all.
Eleanor poured the whiskey into both crystal glasses before walking toward the couch.
âYou know,â she said, handing one toward him, âhe still tells that story like itâs the funniest thing thatâs ever happened to him.â
Jack took the glass carefully from her fingers.
âThatâs because your father is a menace.â
âHe likes you.â
âHe likes causing problems.â
âAlso true.â
Eleanor looked away first, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before sitting at the opposite end of the couch instead of beside him.
 A safe distance.
 Even if neither of them liked it.
Jack took a slow sip of the whiskey, eyes still fixed on her over the rim of the glass.
âOne drink.â
He said it sternly enough that it almost sounded convincing.
Ten minutes ago, he had been halfway to the door mentally, already telling himself it was smarter to leave before this strange fragile ease between them started feeling normal again. Before he forgot all over again that this was not his house anymore.
Now he was sitting on her couch with whiskey in his hand watching her tuck her legs beneath herself like he had not spent months teaching himself not to miss that sight.
âOh,â she said, almost too innocently, âso no to the part where we take a shower together?â
He gave her a look.
Her mouth twitched immediately, pleased with herself already.
âCâmon, Jack,â she added, stretching one arm lazily along the back of the couch. âIâm not a teenage boy trying to get into your pants.â
âAre you sure?â he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
That gained him a cold glance from her, which he ignored completely.
âBecause youâre definitely trying to sweet-talk me.â
Her brows lifted slightlyâcaught, but not quite.
âI am not.â
âYou are.â
A pause.
Eleanor scoffed softly, shifting further into the cushions as she brought the glass to her lips.
âJack, if I were trying to seduce you, Iâd put in significantly more effort than sandwiches and whiskey.â She took a sip of the whiskey and immediately regretted it, face tightening for half a second.Â
âMm.â He did not sound convinced.
Mostly because he was becoming increasingly convinced that Eleanor had forgotten she was exceptionally good at this.
Not flirting.
Taking care of him.
And that had always been infinitely more dangerous.
âBesides,â she continued, a little too casually now, eyes lowering toward her own glass, âit wouldnât work anyway. Iâm out of your range.â
His forehead creased immediately.
âWhat?â
A small shrug.
âIâm out of your range. By a few years.â
There it was.
Jack resisted the urge to sigh. He could tease his ex-wife, joke with her, slide into familiar banter without thinking, but he knew better than to agree with that. Eleanor was way more than âa few yearsâ older than the twenty-somethings she was indirectly referring to. Both of them were.
To an extent, he knew that women got carved apart by age in ways men never were. And Eleanor had been quietly at war with aging since thirty-five. Tiny creams. Magnified mirrors. Complaints about microscopic imperfections no human being would ever notice without forensic equipment.
But he couldnât stop himself from thinking the same thing, whenever this subject arrived:Â
Bullshit.
Because Eleanor still looked devastating enough to make his brain short-circuit when she crossed a room barefoot in one of those black dresses.
Because he had spent entire evenings pretending not to stare at her mouth while she talked.
Because no exhausted twenty-something from whatever place could walk into a room and make him feel half as unstable as his ex-wife joking of them showering together.
Also, he was getting very tired of everyone around him treating having a âyoung girlfriendâ like some kind of reward package men unlocked after forty.Â
âPlease donât start,â he muttered, rubbing his jaw. âIf I have to hear one more person preach to me about the benefits of having a younger girlfriendâŚâ
He had the ER, a complicated relationship with his ex, his PTSD from his time in the military, SWAT stuff. He didnât hate anyone that much to bring them up on this boat.Â
Eleanor paused, turning back to him.
ââŚAnderson?â
He blinked. âHow did you know?â
A small smile tugged at her mouth. âOh, itâs been the talk of the evening. Especially since she didnât show up.â
Jack raised an eyebrow. Twenty years of marriage and he still did not fully grasp how the doctorâs wives hive worked. âIs that bad?â
âWell,â she said, tilting her head, âitâs not great.â
He let out a short, incredulous breath. âWouldnât you and your friends eviscerate her if she had?â
Eleanor considered that for a second.
ââŚProbably,â she admitted, carrying two glasses of whisky to the living room, handing one to Jack and putting the other on the side table of the couch before sitting down. âBut if you want to fly with eaglesâŚâ
She let it hang there. Sipping the drink, her face cranked immediately. God, she hated whisky. âWhat did he say?â
âNothing that wasnât bullshit.â Jack wouldnât stay there telling all the pros Anderson careful detail for him and the other doctors. Not about sexy photos, sexy videos, text messages, non stop sex around the house. He was pretty sure Eleanor knew it. âEven Daniels called him outâ He let that information slide, now that would call her attention because he was a hundred percent sure she didnât know thatÂ
âYou are kidding meâ Eleanor had to pretend that her jaw didnât drop for five seconds. Anyone that knew Daniels and Marjorie, knew that the couple looked like they came straight out of a sitcom where husband and wife hate each other, but somehow there still was a weird love where they would go feral if anyone else talked shit about the other.Â
âNo, he actually said something about how he wouldnât trade Marjorie who knew his routine to babysit someone who still gets cardedâ Jack said, finally drinking his whisky. His former father-in-law knew his taste. He didnât regret the drink.Â
âWow, who would take Daniels as a romanticâ Eleanor said leaning her back on the couch. If it was anyone else telling her, she wouldnât have believed it.Â
âNot on my card for the eveningâ He chuckled as she slowly nodded eyebrows up, still impressed.Â
A small pause letting the information that still nonbelievers could be romantics sit, didnât extend for long .
âWhat about you?â she said without looking at him, paying attention to the twirl of the amber liquid as she slowly twist her glass.Â
Jack glanced at her. She was curled into the corner of the couch barefoot, one leg tucked beneath herself, her whiskey balanced carelessly in her hand. The lamp beside her softened everything gold. Her hair, her skin, the silk collar slipping from one shoulder. She looked unfairly beautiful for this hour of the night, for this stage of their lives. âWhat about me?â
She lifted her glass, but didnât drink. âDo you have any opinion on the matter?â
It sounded light. Almost teasing.
But it sat there between them, heavier than it shouldâve.
A small pause.
He let out a quiet breath, rolling the glass slightly between his fingers.
âI thinkâŚâ he started, then stopped, like he was already reconsidering how much to say. He didnât know if Eleanor had intentionally guided the conversation to where it landed. But it wouldnât be off brand for her.Â
She rarely went straight to the subject, unless something was truly bothering her. Usually she would guide the conversation until it ânaturallyâ got where she wanted it.Â
âI think people talk too much,â he said finally. âAbout things that arenât really their business.â
Her mouth curved faintly. âThatâs not an opinion.â Eleanor shifted slightly beside him.Â
âI donât think itâs⌠impressive,â he added. âOr whatever Anderson was trying to make it sound like.â
Eleanor tilted her head. âNo?â
âNo.â He took a small sip. âIf anything, it sounds exhausting.â
âExhausting?â She furrow her brows, her finger dancing in the border of her glass.
â Learning someone new. Pretending to care about stories I wonât remember.â He took another small sip, then added, more matter-of-fact âAnd not just that. Itâs⌠everything else. Different pace. Different priorities.â A slight shrug. âYouâre not even looking at the same future.â
She was far too interested in that topic. And he wouldnât lie to her. But he also couldnât tell her the truth.Â
 Truth was there had been opportunities for him to move one. Nurses who light up the moment they got to know he was divorced. One anesthesiologist who had outright invited herself to his hotel room during a conference in Chicago, divorced friends of friends suddenly âchecking in.â
No one else felt worth the effort. But admitting that would be looking like a loser to his ex wife. That he still was too proud to do.
Eleanor tilted her head, considering him. It was what she wanted to hear him say. A reassurance even if they werenât together that he wouldnât show up with any doe girl he picked in a random shift.Â
âThat doesnât mean he is sleeping aloneâ
 She bit her lip as the voices of her friends echo inside her head. âBut maybe,â she said lightly, âThey love to listen to Springsteen on vinyl and think you are so profound for having lived a real life. Maybe they donât even want something serious. Modern like that.â A small, playful lift of her brows. âWouldnât that be enticing enough?â
Jack looked at her for a second.
She always did this. Slipped questions inside jokes, tucked barbs beneath charm until he almost answered before realizing what she was truly asking. And Jack did not want to brag, but he could proudly say he usually caught himself before stepping into the trap.
Because it was not about young girlfriends. Not really. She was asking him if he would do that to her.Â
Walking into some gala with a twenty-four-year-old on his arm. Some glossy thing with long legs and an empty laugh. Young enough that half of the people would immediately understand what he was trying to prove and the other half would be surprised, telling each other they didnât know Jack had a daughter.Â
Anderson practically handed him the script: find a hot coworker, let Eleanor see it, make sure everyone sees it. Let her sit there humiliated, thinking of how fast sheâd been replaced. Let her feel old, difficult. Let others get to the conclusion of âWell, thatâs what you get for being a materialistic bitchâ.
Make her think she was the reason the marriage failed.
No, he couldnât do that. Not out of pitty but because, who could he fool? It would never be enough.
Not after having a woman who could fill a room just by entering it. A woman who knew him so completely it sometimes felt surgical. Who could be crueler to him than anyone else precisely because she had once loved him better than anyone else ever would.
A twenty-year-old could flatter him. Admire him. Make him feel young for an evening. It would be fun.
But Eleanor had built a life around him. She had intertwined herself into every ambition, every humiliation, every version of him worth knowing. She knew his sighs from when he was angry versus exhausted. Knew when he wanted to talk or just be with her in comfortable silence. Knew how he liked his whiskey without asking. Knew why he couldnât sleep with the closet door open. She knew things he never even told her, things sheâs just picked up from their years together.
And worse, she had believed in him long before there was anything particularly impressive to believe in.
How the hell was anyone supposed to compete with that?
Jack forced himself to smirk back as Eleanor lazily traced her fingertip around the rim of the whiskey glass.
âAre you trying to introduce me to someone?â
He said it lightly enough to bend the conversation sideways. To steer it away from wherever it had almost gone before one of them said something impossible to take back.
Eleanor scoffed immediately, polished and dismissive in the exact way she got whenever she refused to admit she had been fishing for something.
âYeah,â she said dryly. âHelenâs daughter. Just got a communications degree.â
Jack gave a low hum, leaning farther back into the couch.
âPerfect. Exactly what I need.â
Her brows lifted slightly.
âOh?â
âYeah,â he deadpanned. âA twenty-four-year-old explaining branding to me while I quietly die in the corner of a restaurant.â
That pulled the smallest smile from her.
âIâm sure Helen would love it,â Eleanor continued smoothly. âHer daughter calling you boyfriend in public while people try to figure out whether youâre dating the girl or her mother.â
Jack winced theatrically.
âJesus Christ.â
âSheâd absolutely introduce you to TikTok.â
âOh, no.â
âOh, yes.â Eleanor was fully entertained now. âSheâd film you making coffee in the morning with sad Billy Joel captions.â
âAbsolutely not.â
âPOV,â Eleanor continued, gesturing vaguely into the air like she was presenting an ad campaign, ââemotionally unavailable older man learns to love again.ââ
Jackâs short laugh finally broke into a real one.
And annoyingly, the image was vivid enough that both of them could suddenly picture it
The tension loosened just enough for him to breathe.
âAnyway,â he said, lifting his glass slightly, trying to keep the mood where it was, âwho even has time to date? I barely had time for you when weââ
The sentence died halfway out of his mouth.
Too late.
Eleanorâs eyes lifted immediately.
He shouldnât have said it. Entering that territory was dangerous. Not having time for their marriage was the reason there wasnât one anymore. Joking about imaginary young girlfriends was fine, talking about their parents being insane was nostalgic, but bringing up topics from their marriage that never got resolved⌠it could turn a nice evening into a nightmare.
âNot dating doesnât mean sleeping alone,â she said lightly. Like a joke. Like a passing observation. Like she had not been trying to figure out for the last twenty minutes whether he was sleeping with someone else.
Jack looked away first, exhaling softly through his nose.
âThatâs easy for you to say.â
He meant it as something almost flattering. A compliment on her beauty. âMen still look at you. You could have anyone you wantâ.
But halfway through the sentence resentment crept in quietly, the way it always did with them. By the time it reached Eleanor it no longer sounded like admiration.
It sounded loaded. Her eyes narrowed slightly. It sounded like a backhanded comment. âWhat does that mean?â
âNothing.â
Too fast. Too practiced. Eleanor knew this tone the hesitation on how he didnât look at her but focused on his whiskey instead, like the conversation itself was irritating him now instead of the fact he had started it. Oh, he was implying it.
âNo,â Eleanor said. Calmly. âSay it. You already started.â
He dragged a hand down his face with a tired sigh.
âIâm tired, Eleanor.â
There it was. The retreat. The familiar tactic that somehow always positioned him as the exhausted reasonable one and her as the person insisting on conflict.
Eleanor let out a quiet dry laugh.âThen maybe donât start things you donât plan on finishing.â
His jaw tightened.
He should let it go.
He knew he should.
But there had always been something about Eleanor that pulled the ugliest insecurities out of him slowly, almost elegantly. Like she could make him feel jealous and guilty and defensive all at once without even raising her voice.
âIâm just saying,â he muttered finally, eyes still fixed on the amber liquid in his glass, careful with his tone âyou used to spend entire summers outside in those tiny white bikinis while every asshole in the neighborhood suddenly needed an excuse to stand by the fence asking about hydrangeas.â
Silence. Eleanor closed her eyes briefly. âThere it wasâ. The problem didnât lay in the words themselves, but The implication underneath them. The old accusation carefully dressed as an observation.
That she liked being looked at too much.
That she encouraged it.
That maybe some part of her enjoyed putting herself on display for other men.
When she opened her eyes again something in her face had hardened.
âThere it is,â she murmured quietly.
Jack frowned.
âWhat?â
âYour suburban voyeurism complex.â Another dry little laugh, humorless this time. âI was wondering how long it would take tonight.â
âOh, Jesus Christ.â He leaned back against the couch immediately, already defensive. âIâm not accusing you of anything.â
âYou always say that right before accusing me of something.â
âI meant you got attention, Eleanor. Thatâs all.â
âThatâs all,â she repeated softly.
Jack rubbed his forehead harder now, irritation building because he could already feel the argument slipping beyond his control.
âYou know what I mean.â
âNo,â she said sharply. âActually I do not. Because somehow every time we have this conversation you act like Iâm insane for hearing exactly what youâre implying.â
âIâm not implying anything.â
Another dry laugh escaped her.
God, he hated that laugh.
Because it meant she had stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt.
âYou know what? Sure,â Eleanor said, her voice smoothing into something dangerously calm. âIâm clearly reading too much into it again.â She gave a small nod, like she was graciously accepting correction. âYouâre obviously not implying that I spent summers tanning in my own backyard just to give the male population of our street something pretty to look at while poor you worked yourself to death paying for designer bikinis that your bitch wife modeled for the neighborhood.â
Jack exhaled sharply through his nose, irritated now that she had dragged the implication out into the open for him.
âThatâs not what I said.â
âNo,â Eleanor replied sharply. âYou just heavily imply things and then act offended when I hear the truth beneath it.â
âAnd you couldâve tanned at the country club,â he cut it defensively.
Eleanor let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking her head as she couldnt believe what she was listening to. She didnât believe fifteen years ago she didnât believe it now.Â
âAnd have everyone asking me where my husband was again? Making jokes about you never being home anymore?!â she shot back immediately. âHave them whispering that you clearly were having an affair. That it was sad to keep pretending everything was fine, that they felt sorry for me, that you didnât deserve me because I was with you before med school, during your tours and shifts.â She had to stop. The memory of those comments were enough to make her nauseated âDo you know how humiliating that pity felt?â She shook her head. âNo, thank you.
âI was working!â Jack snapped, the whiskey glass knocking harder than intended against the wooden coffee table as he leaned forward. âI was trying to provide you with the life you desperately wanted!â
âSo was Anderson,â Eleanor replied. Almost calm. Which somehow hit harder than if she had screamed it.
The effect was immediate.
Jack went still for half a second, staring at her like he genuinely could not believe she had just said that out loud.
âAre you serious right now?!â A short disbelieving laugh escaped him, harsh around the edges. He leaned back against the couch cushions, shaking his head once like maybe distance would make the comparison less insane. âYouâre comparing me to Anderson because I worked too much?!â
Eleanor held his stare.
âAnderson took his ring off and fucked interns in parking garages,â she said sharply. âYou didnât do that, fine.â Her jaw tightened. âBut you acted like him.â
Jack scoffed immediately.
âLike being married was some unbearable inconvenience you regretted.â Her voice cracked harder now despite her trying to keep it steady. âYou were just more sophisticated about it.â
âThat is bullshit.â But there was something defensive in how quickly he said it.bSomething almost panicked.
Because Anderson was everything Jack despised. So hearing Eleanor put them in the same category felt insulting.
âYou stayed late enough that everybody got the message without ever having to say it out loud,â she continued.
âThere was no message,â Jack shot back instantly.
And thatâ
that was the last straw.
Eleanor stared at him for half a second in complete disbelief before shoving herself abruptly off the couch.
âOh, bullshit,â she burst out.
She started pacing immediately, whiskey still in hand, too angry to stay seated beside him anymore.
âThat is such bullshit.â
Jack watched her cross in front of the coffee table barefoot, one arm wrapping tightly around herself while the other held the glass.
She turned away first, dragging a hand hard through her hair like she physically needed to stop herself from screaming.
Then she spun back toward him again.
âWhat exactly is the point of saying things like that?â she snapped. âSeriously, Jack. What is the point?â
âThere wasnât a fucking message.â He repeated a bit louderÂ
âOh my God.â She laughed once, sharp and exhausted. âDo you hear yourself?!â
âItâs the true.â
âYeah?â Her smile continued pushing against her lips âSo tell me what exactly do you think it looks like when a married man never goes home, Jack?â Her voice rose with every sentence now. âVolunteering for extra shifts? Staying after work for hours because apparently being in his own house was so fucking unbearable?â
Jack looked away immediately.
And that only made her angrier.
Because there it was again.
That low mumbling of someone who is exhaustedÂ
. âFor Christâs sake, Eleanorââ
It came out low this time.
Not shouted.
Muttered under his breath with the exhausted frustration of a man who felt the argument slipping somewhere he no longer knew how to control.
And somehow that was worse.
That refusal to fully say the ugly thing out loud.
Like if he avoided the exact wording long enough he could still pretend he had the moral high ground.
âNo, you listen to me!â she snapped over him instantly.
She pointed at him with the whiskey glass before pacing again immediately, too wound up now to stay still.
âYou came home exhausted, miserable, barely speaking to me unless you wanted sexââ her voice cracked sharply there, years of humiliation catching painfully in her throat, ââand somehow I was still supposed to feel guilty because the neighbors talked to me over hydrangeas?â
âThey were flirting with you!â Jack barked back.
âAnd what do you think those women were doing with you?â
âThatâs not the same thing.â
âWhy?â she fired back immediately, turning toward him again. âBecause yours wore scrubs instead of golf polos?â
âEveryone knew you, Eleanor.â His voice sharpened defensively now, a dry scoff escaping him. âNobody in that hospital was stupid enough to try anything.â
Eleanor laughed again. Meaner this time.
âThatâs your defense?â
âItâs the truth.â
âReally?â She stepped closer now, angry enough to stop caring how close they were standing. âSo none of them stayed late listening to you bitch about your life? None of them rubbed your shoulders after hard shifts? None of them sat there telling you how brilliant and exhausted and overworked you were?â
âEveryone needs to vent.â That was not really an answer. It was weak. Incomplete. And they both knew it.Â
Maybe some women had done those things. Jack honestly didnât know. He couldnât remember, didnât care enough to notice. That was the difference.
To him it had meant nothing. It was just tired people in an environment that requires too much of them. He still loved Eleanor, he never strayed. He would never do that. He was just too tired.Â
To Eleanor it looked like intimacy he had stopped bringing home years ago.
âRight,â she said bitterly. âVery supportive coworkers.â Her voice turned uglier. âDid they blow you too? Little handjobs in the break room to help poor Dr. Abbot decompress?â
âJesus Christ.â Jack dragged a hand hard down his face. âNo one was doing that. You imagine stuff.â
âOh, please,â Eleanor snapped immediately. âJust like you imagined me starring in some cheap porno with the pool boy?â
âThey were being nice!â he shouted this time.
âAnd I wasnât?â
âYou were angry all the time!â
âBecause I never saw my husband!â
âI was fucking tired, Eleanor!â
âSo was I!â
The silence afterward hit like broken glass.
Both of them breathing too hard.
Too loud.
Jack looked away first, chest still rising heavily under the open collar of his shirt.
âSo what did you want?!â he asked bitterly. âThat I drop everything I built, everything paying for this life, so I could come home more and become your perfect husband?â
Eleanor stared at him.
And still he kept going.
Because once Jack got cornered emotionally he always reached for cruelty disguised as honesty.
âBecause letâs be honest,â he said, voice rough now, exhaustion and resentment bleeding together, âif I stopped being the doctor you liked showing off, there wouldnât be anything left you wanted from me anyway.â
The slap landed before she even fully realized she had moved.
The crack of it split through the room.
Sharp.
Immediate.
Jackâs head turned slightly with the force of it.
Silence.
For one horrible second neither of them moved.
Eleanorâs chest rose sharply, her hand still half lifted between them like she couldnât quite believe it either.
Jack stared at the floor.
Not angry at first.
Just stunned.
The whiskey glass sat abandoned in his hand.
Then Eleanor looked away quickly, wiping at her face with the back of her hand in sudden furious movements.
Jack blinked once.
Only then realizing she was crying.
Tears kept slipping down her face no matter how irritated she looked by them.
And somehow that hit harder than the slap.
Because Eleanor hated crying in front of him now.
Like it offended her own pride.
Like after seven years divorced she still resented him having enough power to pull tears out of her at all.
He was going to leave.
Jack was still angry enough that his blood felt hot under his skin, still wound tight enough that if he stayed another five minutes he would say something uglier than he already had.
So he did what he had done for years whenever things between them became unbearable:
Leave first.
Talk later.
Or better: donât talk at all.Â
He pushed himself up too quickly from the couch, anger carrying him forward faster than the rest of his body could follow.
His balance buckled hard enough that he caught himself against the arm of the couch with a sharp curse.
ââfuckââ Â
Pain shot violently through his thigh.
Jack shut his eyes briefly, jaw clenched so hard it trembled.
Humiliation washed over him almost visibly.
Perfect.
Exactly fucking perfect.
He couldnât even storm out of an argument correctly anymore without his body betraying him halfway through it.
Across from him, Eleanor moved before she even seemed aware she was doing it.
One second she was still standing there furious, tears wet on her face, breathing hard from the fight.
The next she was already beside him.
âJackââ
Her hand caught his forearm automatically.
And instantly, against her own will, her mind went somewhere awful.
If he had hit the coffee table wrong there would be blood everywhere. A split eyebrow maybe. Stitches.
And Jack, stubborn as ever, would insist he could do them himself one-handed over the bathroom sink instead of going to the ER like a normal person.
Or worse â
they would end up at the hospital.
His residents seeing him like this.
Whispers afterward about how Dr. Abbot came in bleeding after fighting with his ex-wife.
The quiet humiliation of inventing some stupid story neither of them would fully commit to.
He slipped.
Hit a cabinet.
Dog accident.
Anything except the truth.
The thought hit her so fast it shoved the anger sideways for one sharp second.
Her hand caught his forearm automatically, instinctively, steadying him before pride or anger could interfere.
And somehow that almost made it worse.
Jack pulled a short breath through his teeth, refusing to fully lean into her help even while his body clearly wanted to.
âIâm leaving,â he muttered.
âYes, you are,â Eleanor said tightly, already kneeling beside the couch. âYouâre just not driving like that.â
âI am fine.â
âYou almost fell into my coffee table.â
Jack muttered something under his breath.
Eleanor exhaled sharply through her nose, frustrated with him, with herself, with the entire night unraveling exactly the way neither of them wanted.
âLet me help you,â she said more quietly, crouching in front of him as she reached for the prosthetic.
Jackâs hand caught her wrist immediately.
âI can do it.â
Her eyes lifted to his.
Still angry.
Still hurt.
But underneath all of it there was something older than the fight. Older than the divorce even.
Instinct.
For a second neither of them moved.
Then he let go.
Eleanor slowly raised both hands in fake surrender as she straightened back up.
âSuit yourself.â
Carefully now, stiff with pain and humiliation, Jack started unclipping the prosthetic himself.
âIâll grab the gel.â
âYou donâtââ he started automatically.
âTake off your pants too,â she called over her shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.
In any other situation that mightâve sounded suggestive. An invitation. A late-night peace offering wrapped in Eleanorâs usual shameless delivery.
God knew she used to be good at that.
But judging by the slap mark still burning on his cheek, Jack suspected she currently had better odds of cutting his dick off than touching it willingly.
He had definitely blown that chance.
By the time Eleanor returned, he had pushed the trousers down enough to expose the irritated skin around the socket.
She walked back already unscrewing a small jar in her hands.
His cheek was still faintly red where she had slapped him.
Eleanor noticed immediately.
Looked away just as fast.
Jack gave a quiet scoff as she sat beside him.
âThis is probably expired.â
They used to have dozens of those jars.
An entire shelf full of them in the bathroom beside Eleanorâs aggressively expensive skincare products with labels in French or Danish that everyone in her circle of friends swore by.Â
Somehow she had never once mixed them up.
âItâs not expired,â she said flatly. Of course he still assumed half the things in this house belonged to him.
She spread the gel between her palms, warming it slightly before the sharp mint smell reached him.
âItâs for my plantar fasciitis.â She said quietly.Â
Jack had forgotten about that. He huffed softly through his nose.
âYou and those heelsâŚâ And despite himself, memory pulled at him immediately. He remembered when the pain first started.
The cold press of Eleanorâs feet shoved beneath his thigh, she used to say the heavy pressure made it better.Â
The appointment with Ălvarez, Helenâs husband, after Eleanor finally accepted that the pain was not, in fact, temporary. X-rays. MRIs. They did everything until finally
they got to the orthopedic consultation where she heard her terminal diagnosis:
âEleanor,â Ălvarez said with exhausted patience, âyou need to retire the heels.â
Jack had warned her before that too. Didnât matter.
Mrs. Abbot had plantar fasciitis, bunions, tendon shortening, the entire collection earned by a lifetime spent balancing herself on designer heels.
âCouldnât we compromise in kitten heels?â Eleanor had negotiated immediately. âOrthopedic heels?â
Jack still remembered silently mouthing a sorry toward Ălvarez while Helenâs husband stared at Eleanor with the thousand-yard look unique to doctors treating rich women who had absolutely no intention of following medical advice.Â
Ălvarez recommended sensible shoes, physiotherapy and pilates.
And Eleanor did the physio, and took a liking to the pilates class. The shoes, well, she used them most of the time, until an event required heels, then she returned happily to the most violent shoes ever manufactured.
And in Alvarez's opinion. Torture device for the foot bones.
Extreme arch pitch.
Narrow toe boxes.
Four-inch stilettos that looked less like footwear and more like structural engineering failures.
Eleanorâs favorites because they made her leg look long and elegant.
He got pulled back to the present by the shift of the couch cushion beside him.
âLet me see the leg.â
âEleaââ
She didnât wait.
She rubbed the cream once more between her hands before setting them carefully against his thigh.
Jack broke off with a low breath despite himself.
Because that was the problem.
Her hands still knew exactly how to touch him.
He broke off with a low breath despite himself, tension still locked tight in his jaw as her hands worked â sure, practiced, familiar.
She worked the gel carefully into his thigh, firm pressure easing slowly along the irritated muscle above the socket.
âHere?â she asked, pressing into a spot just above it.
His breath hitched.
ââŚyeah. There.â
She adjusted immediately, slower now, more precise.
âThatâs where itâs pulling?â
âMm.â A pause. âGets worse when Iâve been on it too long.â
Her thumbs pressed again and his leg twitched under her touch.
âToo hard, babyââ
The word slipped out on pure instinct as his hand went to hold her wrist. It happened before long ago, when he his thumb would shift against her hand automatically, nudging her a little lower, a little gentler, an innocent but intimate correction just so she could adjust the pressure.Â
It took a bit too long for him to take it back, the moment already settled between them.
She looked up to him, her hands frozen. For one brief second, Eleanor looked almost startled.
Jackâs expression tightened almost immediately, like he hated himself a little for letting it slip. His eyes dropped away first, clearing his throat.
ââŚEleanor. Sorry.â He released her wrist, returning the hand to his lap.Â
The apology somehow made it worse.
Because it turned the moment into something they were no longer allowed to have. Like something that still remembered how to belong even when it no longer did.
And Eleanor felt it low in her chest anyway.
That old reflexive ache.
For years she had been Baby. Princess. Honey. Sweetheart. Doll. Nicknames that slipped out of him so easily she had stopped noticing them after a while. Little verbal touches scattered through a life together. The kind that made her feel loved in a way expensive gifts and grand gestures never really managed to.
They made her feel entirely his.
And sometimes he would deliberately choose the worst ones imaginable just to make her laugh.
Sweetcheeks.
Sugarplum.
Angel face.
Sweet Valentine.
God, there had even been a brief horrifying period where he called her Toots after watching old gangster movies for two weeks straight.
Eleanor used to groan and threaten divorce every single time while secretly loving every second of it precisely because he only did it to see her smile.
And now hearing it again felt less like comfort and more like pressing on a bruise to check if it still hurt.Â
 It made her feel lonelier.
Her fingers hesitated against his thigh for the smallest fraction of a second before she forced herself to continue, slower this time, gentler.
âHere?â she asked quietly, like neither of them had noticed what just happened.
She tossed her hair back over one shoulder as she leaned closer, focused again.
Jack went very still.
That was the problem.
Not the pain.
Not the cream.
Not even the closeness of her hands.
It was the shape of her like this.
Head bent in concentration.
Loose curls falling over one bare shoulder.
Mouth slightly parted while she focused.
And the memories it dragged up before he could stop them.
Of course she had massaged the socket hundreds of times before.
Usually late at night.
Usually in bed.
Sometimes while teasing him through it, sometimes while talking absently about charity committees or neighbors or some ridiculous thing Marjorie had said in the phone.
And sometimesâ
Christ.
Sometimes it led somewhere else entirely.
His body remembered that before his brain could stop it.
He forced his eyes back toward the wall.
This was not the time for those memories. He absolutely could not get hard with his ex-wifeâs hands on his thigh five minutes after she slapped him across the face.
Eleanor would think he was a pervert. Or worse.
She would realize exactly how long it had been since anyone had touched him with any real familiarity.
That the closest thing he had to a sex life after the divorce was the occasional tired jerk-off to porn he barely paid attention to, or, on worse nights, old photos of Eleanor he shouldâve deleted years ago and never managed to.
No. Absolutely not. Fuck.
He needed to think about literally anything else.
Her thumbs worked carefully along the edge of the scar.
Jack leaned his head back against the couch and shut his eyes briefly.
God.
He remembered these hands everywhere.
Straightening his tie in the driveway before hospital fundraisers.
Sliding beneath his jacket lapels at charity galas while she smoothed imaginary wrinkles from his tuxedo.
Curled against the back of his neck after overnight ER shifts when he came home too wired to sleep.
Now they touched him carefully.
Almost clinically.
Like she was trying not to remember too much either.
âYou shouldâve told me it was getting worse,â Eleanor said suddenly.
Jack opened his eyes.
For a second he couldnât tell if she still meant the leg.
âYou were busy.â She sighed, not wanting to pick another fight.
He watched her then.
Really watched her.
The black strapless gown still fit her like it had been sewn onto her body. Years ago she would already have stripped it off by now, complaining that formal dresses clung to her skin after parties.Â
She used to kick off her heels at the door and wander through the house in corsets and tights without a second thought while talking to him about absolutely nothing.
God, he used to love that.
Now she sat barefoot beside him on the couch they used to share, mascara faintly smudged beneath her eyes, loose curls falling over bare shoulders.
Beautiful still.
Just sadder now.
âDo you really believe that?â she asked quietly.
Jack frowned faintly.
âWhat?â
âYou said if you stopped being the doctor I liked showing off thereâd be nothing left I wanted.â
Jack looked away immediately.
Because maybe Eleanor liked beautiful houses and charity galas and introducing him as her doctor husband.
Fine.
So what?
He was supposed to know her better than that.
Maybe she cared too much about appearances sometimes.
Maybe she liked expensive things.
Maybe she cared too much what people thought.
But he was supposed to know she was more than that.
He was supposed to know her.
Her hands slowed slightly against his thigh.
Eleanor shook her head once.
Maybe if a woman played a role long enough, eventually people stopped seeing anything underneath it at all. Even the ones who are supposed to know better. Even their husbands.
âJesus ChristâŚâ she murmured softly to herself.
Outside, rain had started sometime during the argument.
It tapped softly against the windows overlooking the dark manicured backyard.
Her fingers pressed higher into the muscle and Jack sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.
âThere,â he muttered despite himself.
Eleanor adjusted immediately, gentler now.
The movement pulled her slightly closer between his knees.
And suddenly Jack became aware of everything at once.
The cold empty whiskey glass abandoned on the coffee table.
The sharp mint smell of the cream.
The warmth of her skin.
The soft brush of satin against his bare thigh every time she leaned forward.
His gaze dropped before he could stop it.
Bare shoulders.
The elegant line of her throat.
The soft curve of cleavage above black satin.
God.
Eleanor noticed where he was looking.
Her hands hesitated only briefly before continuing again.
âYou know what the worst part is?â she asked quietly.
Jack frowned faintly.
âI kept thinking maybe I never really stopped waiting for you.â
Her eyes stayed fixed on his leg, fingers still working carefully against the muscle.
âSometimes it felt like you never actually came home from Afghanistan.â She swallowed once. âAnd I kept waiting for you so our life could finally start.â
That landed harder than the slap.
Jack stared at her.
For once Eleanor didnât look polished or untouchable or socially perfect.
She looked tired. Not physically. Soul-deep tired.
Her words lodged somewhere deep inside him.
Because in Jackâs mind, he had come home.
Maybe not immediately.
Maybe not completely.
But he had. Hadnât he?
There had been nights that yes, he sat in the hospital parking lot for an extra hour because he couldnât force himself through the front door yet.
Nights he picked up extra shifts because exhaustion felt easier than disappointing her in person, not being the husband she deserved, the husband she expected him to be.
Times he convinced himself that providing for her counted as loving her properly.
He thought she understood that.
Or maybe he had only hoped she did.
He felt the sudden coolness as her hands finally dropped away from his thigh.
â *Insert blank* is the villain of The Pitt â my brother in christ, idk what show you are watching, but the only villain I see is the american health care system
Jack Abbot x Housewife!Female character (Eleanor)
Summary:Â There were some things people thought they understood. Jack and Eleanor Abbot looked like a certainty. He was a doctor, brilliant, tireless, forged by pressure and long nights. She was a debutante turned housewife, radiant in her element, organizing fundraisers with effortless grace, charming donors twice her age, and arriving at the hospital with boxes of lemon cake for an exhausted staff who barely had time to breathe. They were the kind of couple people pointed to and said: That makes sense. However, between military deployments, overnight shifts, and the relentless churn of the ER, even the most wistful love can erode. Some said that she wanted too much, some said that he gave up. Small absences became long ones, silences stretched and a promissing union turned into a bitter divorce. But are they ready to leave each others lives? Or is this a forever kind of thing?
Notes: Christmas with the Abbots? Let's go! Also should I do a moodboard for this story? I see in other people's fanfic and I find it so cute. Also Kenny is inspired by all Danny Mcbride's characters. If you know you know. And this was inspired by 'Fishes', the christmas episode of The Bear.
Tag:Â Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Marriage, Post-Divorce, Bickering, Family Drama, Married Couple, Married Life, Jealousy, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Break Up, Established Relationship, Fluff
Warnings:Â Physical violence, dysfunctional couple, relatives being annoying and sexist, there is gender expectations heavily, baby conversations, military talk, I have no idea how it all went down in 9/11 but its fiction so just believe in me.
If I forget any tag please let me know!
24 December, 2001.
The house was too full.
Too many coats thrown over chairs, slipping to the floor and staying there. Too many glasses, half-drunk, abandoned, picked up by the wrong person. The heat pressed in from everywhere, oven, bodies, the windows fogged just enough to make it feel sealed shut.
Voices stacked on top of each other. Someone was asking for a knife. Someone else was already answering a different question. Laughter cutting through the middle of it, too loud, too sharp, then gone.
The TV had been dragged so it faced the dining room, but no one was watching it. A reporterâs voice, steady in that way that didnât match the footage. Smoke, replayed. Buildings everyone knew the shape of. The kind of images that had been playing for months now, like they hadnât figured out how to stop. Words like âresponseâ, âtroopsâ, ânext phaseâ slipping in between someone asking for more gravy.Â
No one turned it off.
People just talked over it.
Jack sat halfway down the table, elbow brushing Eleanorâs as people kept reaching across, passing plates, pouring wine that no one needed refilled. At her left, set April, the wife of Jackâs cousin, Kenny, who had been in a bad mood all day. April loved when Eleanor came to visit and was eager to spend as much time with her as possible. A not-so-subtle admiration for Eleanorâs country club lifestyle, which April considered glamorous. She had her third child earlier that year, a chubby baby that threw his small arms towards Eleanor, while April talked about daycare waitlists and teething.
âOh, hi, sweetheart,â Eleanor laughed softly as she instinctively took him and adjusted him in her lap, one hand coming up to support his back. âYes, youâre very serious, arenât you?â
The baby blinked at her, wide-eyed, frowning, then reached immediately for the front of her dress, fingers catching on the fabric like heâd decided she belonged to him.
April laughed, a little too bright, a little too eager. âHe likes you,â she said. âHe doesn't go to just anybody like that.â
Eleanor smiled, polite at first, but it softened, just a touch, as the baby let out a small, satisfied sound and settled.
âWell,â she murmured, bouncing him gently, âIâm very flattered, sweetie.â She said looking at him, like she was answering the baby.
April hovered, watching her with something like admiration, taking in the way Eleanor held him, the way she spoke, the ease of it.
âYouâre real natural,â April said. âI was a mess with him at first. Still am, half the time. Even after two.âÂ
Eleanor glanced at her, a small, reassuring smile. âIâm sure thatâs not true.â
âNo, it is,â April insisted, laughing a little. âYou make it look⌠easy.â
âThatâs only because Iâm holding him for a few seconds,â Eleanor said lightly, bouncing the baby once more. Her smile stayed soft and easy. âI wouldnât be able to do half of what you do with three children and still look as good as you do.â
She shifted the baby slightly instead, tucking him closer as he grabbed at the cuff of her sleeve, fascinated.
April gave a small, tired smile and caressed the back of her baby. âItâs not easy,â she said, almost apologetically. âBut I try.â
Eleanorâs expression softened. âYou are doing it,â she said simply.
April looked at her for a second, then gave the smallest nod. âThank you,â she said, quiet enough that it almost disappeared into the room.
At her side, Jack was watching, not obviously, he still had a glass in his hand, still nodded when someone spoke to him, but his attention kept pulling back, again and again.
He saw the way Eleanorâs posture changed, how the sharpness she carried seemed to soften at the edges. The way she let the baby lean into her and didnât rush to give him back.
Then, the baby twisted suddenly, reaching past Eleanor.
Toward him.
Jack blinked, caught off guard.
âWell,â he said, a small, almost reluctant smile breaking through, âhey there, kiddo.â
He set his glass down and leaned in just slightly, offering a finger. The baby grabbed it immediately, grip surprisingly strong, taking it to his mouth.
April let out a tiny panicked laugh. âDonât grab uncle Jackâs fingerâŚsorry, Jack. Heâs teething. You can give him to me if you want.â
âItâs okay, April,â Jack said, waving her off with his free hand, with no intention at all of depriving the baby of his new favorite chewing toy. The baby gnawed enthusiastically on his finger, teethless gums pressing with surprising dedication.
For a flick of second, Eleanor looked up at him. Their eyes met, brief, but enough. She smiled. He looked from her to the kid, smiling.Â
Maybe they should start considering kids.Â
âOh!â Aunt Roseâs voice cut through, delighted, loud enough to turn heads. Sitting just in front of the couple. âWould you look at that.â
Shit.
There it was.
She leaned forward, eyes bright, taking in the scene like it was something sheâd been waiting for.
âThatâs a good look on you two,â she went on. âreal good.â
Eleanorâs smile returned as Jack exhaled softly through his nose. He knew where this was going. Aunt Rose has been asking the same question since Jack and Eleanor came back from their honeymoon:
âWhen are we getting a little Jackie, huh?âÂ
Aunt Rose pressed, grinning. She didnât quite understand the concept of enjoying married life. Not even Jackâs mom pressed him this way. But for Aunt Rose if there wasnât a bun being cooked in the wifeâs belly, then what was the point?Â
A few heads turned. A few people chuckled, already anticipating it.
April laughed, a little too eagerly. âI was just sayingââ
Jack blinked once, his voice colliding with Aprilâs.  âWeâre notââÂ
âOh, come on,â Rose cut in, delighted. âYouâve been married for how long now?âÂ
âNot that long, Aunt Roseâ Jack muttered.Â
âLong enough,â Someone else chimed in. Whoever it was, Jack wished he would get fucked.Â
âEspecially with her,â He couldnât be sure if was his Uncle Ray, or one of his cousinsâ husbands or even one of his cousins that added. âYou donât let that go to waste.âÂ
Laughter again. Louder this time.Â
Eleanor smiled, a discreet red tint in her cheeks. She was more used than Jack of people asking about kids. About when the honeymoon is going to be over, that they shouldnât take long if they wanted a second one or a third one before mid thirties. âOh, believe me, he is not letting it go to wasteâ she said while bouncing the baby in her knee, giving a wink to Jack that the whole table noticed, while her husband shook his head drinking his beer saying under his breath âYou are impossibleâ.Â
 The cousin, whose name Eleanor could not remember, raised his hands in defeat. The rest of the table laugh.
âOh, well honey, if you keep up like this â the aunt gave the couple a look âwhen you least expect - boomâ. She mimed a baby in her arms.Â
Jack huffed a quiet breath. âYeah, maybe, in the future.â Of course they had talked about kids.
Kind of.Â
Well, not really.Â
In the future, when Jack eventually looked back, he would realize how many things they didnât discuss. At least not in the way people do nowadays, with spreadsheets and plans and constant negotiation.Â
It was just⌠a constant understanding that life would go on in order: dating, marriage, a house, stability and children. The course of things. Eleanor felt like the kind of woman who would be a wife and mother, and Jack felt like the kind of man who would become a husband and father.
It was so easy. Life was easy.
 He had never pushed the question, and she had never raised it. It had just sat there between them, unspoken, like everything else that would eventually arrive once the rest of life was in place.
During his residency and fellowship, it was off the table, although thinking about it, he never did anything to prevent it. They havenât used condoms since they went steady, around three months later after meeting for the first time at the gala for the inauguration of the new wing that one of the Donahues friends had donated to Jackâs med school.Â
He never really participated or opinionated in how Eleanor managed to not get pregnant. It is not as if they were avoiding sex. But she would never let it happen if it wasnât the right time. Eleanor was not the type of girl who needed to trap a guy by getting pregnant. And she wanted to be a good mother, not like Evelyn. And for that to happen, the baby needed to come at the right time. Their house already had an extra bedroom, and a beautiful backyard, it was close enough to the best private schools. Jack just needed to finish his obligatory service in the military, to repay them for paying him to go to med school, then settle in an attending job.
Soon, he would have enough experience to open a private practice, or to get a position with better pay and less hours. Then it would be the right time.
Eleanor could see it as clear as a day: He at home in a reasonable hour, dinner together, their chunky little baby at her arms, him putting their baby to sleep. It would be perfect.Â
âIt will be a beautiful baby,â April said, almost to herself, watching Eleanor with that open, uncomplicated admiration she never quite hid. âWith you both as parents? Something out of a magazine!â
Jack let out a small breath through his nose. He didnât look up.
Eleanor played modesty shaking her head saying that April was being too kind. But, in her mind, she agreed: their kids would be perfect.
Kenny, Jackâs snarky cousin, and Aprilâs husband, snorted, not even looking up from his plate, dragging his fork. âYeah⌠give it about one month,â he muttered. âStarts screaming, shitting, breaking your shit, costing you money, real cute.â
April didnât hesitate. She shifted in her seat, eyes snapping to him. âLike father like son, Kenny.âÂ
A few laughs, quick, cautious.
Kenny leaned back, spreading out in the chair.Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â he said, half-laughing. â They are boys, what am I suppose to do? Braid their hair and talk about feelings? Sâthat your plan?â
âShut the fuck up, Kenny,â April said, already turning away.
He raised his hands, grinning like that meant heâd won something. âAlright, Jesus.â
The baby, oblivious to all of it, had lost interest in Jackâs finger. He twisted in Eleanorâs lap, small hands reaching again, this time more insistently, grabbing at the front of her dress with determined, hungry focus.
âOh, okay, sweetheart,â April said quickly, stepping in. âYou are a hungry little man, I got you.â
She lifted him from Eleanorâs lap with practiced ease, settling him against her shoulder as he fussed, rooting clumsily.
âYeah, yeah, I know,â she murmured, already halfway out of her chair. âGive me a second, your dadâs being a dick as usualâ
April and Kenny bickering was background noise here. It always has been. Same fight, different topic.
Eleanor got used to it. She still remembered Easter, the year Kenny forgot to hide the eggs for the egg hunt and April caught him drinking with his buddies around the barbecue grill. She tore into him like heâd ruined Christmas itself. This? This was light. This was teasing, playing.Â
And for a moment, the table shifted back into itself, plates passed, someone asking for salt, a cousin laughing too loudly at something unrelated. The TV in the background, low and constant.
Eleanor smoothed the front of her dress where the baby had pulled at it, her fingers lingering there a second longer than necessary. Jack noticed because he noticed everything about her when he was trying not to.
Then she leaned toward him.
âI think Iâm going to lie down for a bit,â she said quietly, just for him.
Jack turned immediately, all the noise in the room dropping behind the shift of his attention. âYou okay?â His hand moved automatically over her shoulder, thumb brushing her skin.
She gave him that soft, patient smile that meant she was already trying not to be a burden. âJust a headache.â
He looked at her, brow tightening. For a second he thought of asking more, but she was already shaking her head faintly, hand touching his thigh under the table reassuring, the kind of touch that meant âstay where you are, Iâll be fine.â It was the sort of gesture that could pass unnoticed by everyone except him. The secret language they shared since their early twenties.
âStay with your family,â she said, before giving him a light goodbye kiss.Â
She didnât need Jack to come, besides the last thing Eleanor needed was his mother noticing she had âpulledâ him away.
Since the couple arrived, Eleanor could swear, Elisa was waiting for the perfect opportunity to make passive aggressive comments about her. The only reason she wasnât able to do it until now was all the last minute adjustments and cooking that Elisa would never let Eleanor, any of her in laws or even nieces help.Â
It was pointless to offer help, Jackâs mom would refuse and thank Eleanor, and tell her to enjoy the festivity, just to later complain to Jack that âEllie is used to people serving her and did not even botherâ. Basically anything to call her a snob without openly calling her that.Â
And fine, Eleanor was fine being called a snob by her mother-in-law. She had grown used to it. But if she came out from the kitchen door and did not see Jack at the table, and someone told her that he went upstairs because âHis wife was tiredâ, Elisa would have a field day with the amount of ammunition she would have against Eleanor. And there was no way in hell or heaven that Eleanor would give her that. Â
She pushed her chair back and rose with that same careful composure she wore like a coat.
âExcuse me,â she said to the table, offering a small smile.
A few murmurs followedââFeel better,â âAlready?â. Nothing that required an answer, she only wave to the baby that April took his hand and waved back at her âSay goodbye to aunt Ellie, sweetieâ
Then aunt Rose, who had never once met a boundary she couldnât lean over, brightened and said, âOh, honey, might be a little Jackie already. You know, Jackieâs mother used to have killer headaches when she was pregnant with him. It runs in the familyâ
The laughter came fast, a little too fast.
Jack shook his head, exhaling through his nose. âAlright, aunt Rose, letâs ease on the wine for the night.â
Eleanor shook her head amused, already halfway toward the hall. She disappeared upstairs, and for a moment Jackâs attention stayed on the doorway where she had gone, the room dimmer without her in it. He couldnât help but to be a bit worried, and worse: feeling her absence as a blow of cold wind in the air.Â
April stood a little off to the side now, near where Kenny sat. The baby settled against her shoulder, bottle in his mouth as she rocked him gently.
Kennyâs smile sharpened, not amused now. Since he was a child, unfortunately, he liked being looked at, even when it was with annoyance.. It gave him an audience and he had never once known the difference between attention and respect.
âYeah,â he said, louder now, âbetter lock that down early, right?â
A couple of the guys around the table laughed because they were conditioned to laugh first and never ask questions. Aprilâs head turned slowly, her expression flattening with a tired sigh.
âShut up, Kenny.â
âWhat?â he said, shrugging, already halfway into the bit. âIâm just sayingââ
âNobody cares what you think,â she cut in, adjusting the bottle in the babyâs mouth with practiced precision. âTruly. Not one person.â
Kenny leaned back again, dragging his hand over his mouth like he was deciding whether to behave.
âIâm just saying what everyoneâs thinking.â
âNo oneâs thinking that,â April said, calm, almost bored. âBecause no one here is that stupid.â
A few nervous laughs skittered across the table.
His eyes flicked toward the stairs where Eleanor had disappeared, then back to Jack. âWhat?â he said. âGuyâs got everything â His gaze stayed on Jack now. âMight as well put a few kids in her,â he said. âLet her parade âem around the country club, hand âem off to the nanny when they start crying, lucky bastard wonât even have to deal with it.â
Jack didnât react. He knew, as well as April, his cousinâs antics. And most of the time the remedy for it was what Jack was doing it right now: completely ignore it.Â
When Kenny couldn t get a reaction, he would say something like âBut what do I know?â and move on.
âLike you do?â. April let out a short, humorless laugh.
Kennyâs jaw shifted. âJesus, April whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âIt means theyâre your kids and I am not your nanny,â she said, not raising her voice. April was perfectly aware of what her husband was doing. He wanted to get a rise of Jack. And if she could avoid Kenny getting his ass kicked and later the never-ending talk before bed of how Jack was shit, she would gladly fight him by bringing up their top reason for fighting: Kids. âYou could try to act like their father. Just once. See how it feels.â
Kenny scoffed, louder now. âMan, you donât know shitââ
âI know I didnât have three kids for you to act like their older brother,â she cut in.Â
A couple heads turned. Kenny shook his head, smiling like it didnât bother him. It definitely did. Kenny liked to pretend that he was this big macho man, but deep down, and April knew as clear as the day, that her man was the king of manchilds.Â
âYeah, alright,â he said. âIâm the bad guy. Iâm always the bad guy.â
âWell, honey, you make it very easy,â April said with a laugh on her voice.
He pointed from her to Jack with his fork, leaning in. âYou think this guyâs gonna be up at 3 a.m. with a crying kid?â
April opened her mouth.
âNo,â Kenny said, not letting her. âHe ainât losing sleep, probably will get a fancy night nanny, nurse, maid, whatever rich people do.â
âCut it out, Kenny,â Uncle Ray muttered, without taking his eyes from the TV. Kenny rambling and provoking Jack was just another celebration at the Abbotâs house. It has been years since the provocations actually led to confrontation, since they were teenagers, so no one actually bothered to actively stop Kenny.Â
They trusted Jack would be the bigger man. As he always was.
âYouâre embarrassing yourself.â April said with a light slap on Kennyâs shoulder
âOh, Iâm embarrassing myself?â Kenny shook his head, like he couldnât believe it, a laugh slipping out under his breath. âLets talk about something else thenâÂ
Exactly the time when the noise on the tv filled the silence between the two. And Kenny took that as an opportunity. Even on Christmas tv wouldnât stop about Afheganistan.Â
âDidnât they pay for your med school?â Kenny said. âWhen are you shipping out, hero boy?â
âKenny!â Aunt Rose said, crossing the dining room with a glass of red in her hand. She gave his shoulder a light slap like he was a child acting out at a dinner party. âBehave.â
Jack didnât answer. Just a small shrug, like it wasnât worth touching the subject.
Kenny nodded like that confirmed something.
âRight. Still home. Still playing doctor in suburbia.â
April exhaled. âKennyââ
He waved her off.
âNo, Iâm just really fucking curious,â he said, leaning forward now, elbows on the table, chin resting on his hands. âBecause I keep seeing on the news theyâre dragging doctors out to Afghanistan like yesterday.â
His eyes flicked to Jack.
âAnd youâre just⌠chilling. Brunches, tennis. Real patriotic stuff.â
Jackâs gaze sharpened. âWhat are you getting at?âÂ
He knew where Kenny was heading. And Jack couldnât lie to himself. It was something that crossed his mind. He was working in a military hospital, paying his years after they paid for his med school. Left and right doctors were being deployed, he was active. So why didnât he?Â
Eleanor didnât like talking about it, she said it would attract bad luck, and when she wanted to stroke his ego, she would say that maybe it was because he was too good to be sent anywhere else.Â
She pretended that there wasnât a few nights where she was restless, thinking that the call was coming. Nights that she had to take some sleeping pills.Â
Kenny smiled like heâd been waiting for that.
âI donât know,â he said. âMaybe youâre just lucky.â
He took a slow sip of beer.
âOr maybe your wife called daddy and said, âDonât send my husband to the sandpit, heâll get sunburned!ââ His cousin said, high pitching his voice, a very bad imitation of Eleanor.
April look at him, you could feel the fire in her eyes, as she adjust the baby in her arms and hit him in the shoulder âKenny, seriouslyââ
But Kenny wasnât looking at her, because he knew her eyes would say that he need to cut the shit right now. But the thing is, he didnât want to cut the shit.Â
âIt happens,â he went on. âGuy marries up, it could be the fucking âNam and they wouldnât deploy him. Weird how that works.â
Jackâs grip tightened slightly on his glass. âYou got something to say, Kenny?â
Kenny grinned. âYeah,â he said. âJust didnât know if med school made you a pussy.â
April muttered, âKenny, stop.â
He ignored her completely.
âJust saying,â he added, voice dropping a notch now, more pointed. âYour father-in-lawâs a big shot. Wouldnât want his little princess alone while her husbandâs off playing soldier.â
Jack tilted his head.
âSay that again.â
Kenny held the grin, but it was the type that you hold when you already got too far and could not bear to turn around. âI said,â Kenny repeated, voice rising, âYour bitch wife wouldnât let her little lap dog get out of-oh shitâ "
Kenny didnât even finish the sentence. Jack jump out of his sit and with a single motion hit him in the mouth firstânot a clean punch, not the kind you see in practiced fights, but something immediate and ugly, like heâd taken the insult and turned it physical before his brain could argue with it.
Kennyâs head snapped sideways. His grin finally broke apart.
For a fraction of a second, there was confusionâreal, almost childish disbelief. Like he couldnât reconcile that little Jackie was doing this, it went completely against the version of Jack heâd spent years remembering: the quieter one, the one who absorbed things, the one who usually lost ground in the old hierarchy of them.
Kenny swung back anyway.
It came from instinct more than precision, childhood mechanics. Backyard scraps that had never fully left their bodies. Kennyâs fist caught Jack high on the cheekbone, enough to turn him, enough to make the skin there flare with heat.
Jack stepped in.
That was the difference now. That was what Kenny didnât account for.
They collided in the narrow space between counter and coffee table, plates jumped, glass shifted. A chair scraped back hard enough to scrape wood. Kenny grabbed at Jackâs collar to pull him off balance, and Jack answered by driving him backward again, shoulder-first into the edge of the counter.
Wood or laminate cracked under the impact.
Someone shouted âHEYââ
Kenny hissed through his teeth, trying to recover, trying to the old rhythm where he used to be quicker, sharper, always just slightly ahead. He brought his elbow up, clipped Jackâs ribs, once, twice, searching for space.
He ate the hit and grabbed Kenny by the wrist mid-swing, twisting it just enough to break the angle, just enough to ruin Kennyâs next strike. Then he shoved him down and forward in the same motion, forcing him off balance.
Kenny stumbledâcaught himself on the counter
The baby cried somewhere behind them, unrelated but impossible to ignore. Just like Aprilâs screams for Kenny to stop.Â
The TV kept talking in the background, something about the Pentagon response about a distant war that suddenly felt like it had less violence than this room.
Kenny wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and saw red. He surged forward again, but this time it wasnât careless. Something older clicked into place, something meaner and more deliberate. He feinted high, just enough to pull Jackâs guard, and then drove a fist hard into his ribs, right where heâd already softened him.
Jackâs breath hitched.
Kenny didnât give him time to recover. He shoved him back hard, forcing him into the edge of the table this time instead of the counter. The impact knocked the wind out of him properly, a dull, heavy sound that felt different from the rest.
There it was.
Kenny pressed in, crowding him, one hand fisted in Jackâs shirt to keep him there. A quick hit to the jawânot enough to drop him, but enough to remind him.
Enough to make it familiar again.
âCâmon, Jackie,â Kenny muttered, breath hot, voice slipping back into that old, taunting rhythm. âPlay the little soldier nowâ
Another shove, keeping him pinned.
âBet she likes you like this. Acting like a real man.â
That did it.
Not the hit. Not the shove.
That.
Jack went still for half a second, and then something in him snapped clean in a way that felt different from before. Not reactive. Not instinct.
Decided. Something about Kenny talking about Eleanor, dragging her into this made Jack see red.Â
He surged forward with a force that broke Kennyâs hold outright, driving into him without hesitation, without rhythm, without anything resembling the old rules theyâd grown up with. The movement was messier now, closer, harsher, less about landing clean hits and more about damage.
They slammed back into the counter again, harder than before. Something cracked. Kenny tried to swing but Jack got inside it, too close, turning it into a blunt collision of bodies and short, brutal hits.
This wasnât sparring anymore.
Kenny felt it shiftâand for the first time, there was something like uncertainty under his reactions. He tried to regain control, but Jack didnât give him space to reset, didnât give him distance to think. Every movement Kenny made got met halfway, shut down, redirected, crushed.
âHEYâ!â
Uncle Rayâs voice cut through it, sharp and done with it already.
Neither of them stopped. That lasted exactly two seconds.
Then Ray was there, older, heavier, and completely uninterested in reasons and justifications, grabbing Jack first by the shoulder and hauling him back with a force that came from experience rather than anger.
âJesus fucking Christ, every single time!â He snapped, already turning and shoving Kenny back with his other hand when he tried to step in again. âCut it out!â
Kenny stumbled a step, breath uneven, chest rising fast. Jack strained forward once, just once, against Rayâs grip, not trying to break free, but making it clear he would if he had to.
âYou talk about my wife again,â Jack said pointing his finger at Kenny, his voice low and breathless from the fight, âIâll put you on the fucking ground.â
It wasnât a threat thrown in anger. It was a statement.
Kenny wiped his mouth again, looked at the blood on his hand, and let out a short, dismissive breath, something like a laugh, but thinner now. Something like people do when they lost and donât want to admit defeat. Something that Kenny was an expert.Â
âYeah, whatever, man.â
He turned away before it could sit any longer between them, already moving past it in the way people do when they donât want to admit a shift happened.
âApril!,â he called, like nothing had just snapped out of place, âget me ice or some shit!â April who had taken her distance from the fight, was back, but instead of ice, she gave Kenny a slap on the chest where it hurt, and what seemed a very angry speech in hush voice as they retreated somewhere else in the crowded space,Â
Jack didnât answer him again. Didnât look at him.
He just pulled free from Rayâs grip, this time without resistance, giving his Uncle a look that said, he wouldâve handle it. âGot get some air, kidâ someone handle him an ice pack, as he headed for the door, the adrenaline still riding too high under his skin to stay contained inside that space.
Outside the temperature was low and the wind cold. Jack exhale, the adrenaline started to low as the pain started to rise. âFuckin KennyâŚâ
âWhat happened?â Frank said the second he shut the car door behind him, grocery bag still in one hand. His eyes went straight to Jackâs face. âJesus Christ, you got a black eye? I go out to get your mother milk and eggs for the pie and-â
Jack stood on the porch with an ice pack pressed against his cheek, jaw tight. âKenny talking shit.â
âWhen did he ever do otherwise?â Frank muttered, already annoyed, but his eyes were still scanning Jack like he was checking for broken bones. Then his attention shifted, immediate and sharp. âWhereâs Eleanor?â
Jack looked at him. âUpstairs. Headache.â
Frankâs expression changed at once. Not panic, exactly. Just concern, plain and unhidden. âShe all right?â
âYeah,â Jack said. âJust a headache.â
Frank nodded, visibly relieved by that more than anything else. âShe took anything?â
âProbably yesâ Jack winced ââ âDonât know, Kenny kept me busyâ
âRule number one son: When your wife leaves you leave too. Nothing good happens when they leave.â
âShe wanted me to stay.â
âShe is too polite.â Frank made a low sound in his throat, already turning slightly toward the house. âIâll bring her something in a minute. And you need to check on her.â
Jackâs mouth twitched.
Frank caught it and gave him a look. âWhat?â
âYou worry more about Eleanor than me.â
Frank snorted. âWell, Eleanorâs easier to like.â
Jack laugh before he could stop it, then winced and lifted the ice pack back to his face.
Frank pointed at him with the hand holding the grocery bag. âAnd she shoots better than you.â
Jack shook his head, still laughing a little despite the pain. âIs that what you like about her?â
Frank didnât even bother denying it. âDamn right it is.â
A beat passed, and the humor settled just enough for the worry to come back.
âDid Kenny say anything to her?â
âNo. He waited âtill she went upstairs.â
âGood.â Frankâs jaw tightened. He didnât explain much, but Jack knew that if Kenny had pull any of his shit against Eleanor, Jack would not even have a second to respond, because Frank would send Kenny to hell as quick as a blink. Frank looked back at him. âSo what did he say?â
Jack hesitated.
The wind pushed through the driveway, cutting the silence thinner.
âItâs nothing,â Jack said finally, too quick.
Frankâs eyes narrowed. âA black eye itâs not nothing. That dipshit hasn't got under your skin since you were fifteen.â
Jack exhaled through his nose, shifting his weight slightly like he could shake it off. He couldnât.
âHe justââ Jack paused, then forced it out more evenly. âHe thinks Iâm not going.â
Frank blinked once. âNot going where?â
Jack didnât answer right away.
Frankâs expression changed before Jack even spoke again. âTo Afghanistan?â Frank said slowly.
Jackâs jaw tightened.
âYeah,â he said. âThat.â
Frank let out a short, disbelieving laugh. âJesus Christ. And he said that in front of people?â
Jackâs mouth twitched, not quite a smile. Not quite anything.
âHe said worse.â
Frank stepped closer now, voice lowering. âWhatâs worse?â
Jack looked away toward the street, like it was easier than saying it to his face.
âThat Iâm still here because someone made sure I stay here.â
A pause.
Frank went very still. âAnd by âsomeoneâ,â he said carefully, âhe means Ellie.â
Jack didnât confirm it. Didnât deny it either.
That was enough to answer it.
Frank let out a slow breath through his nose, shaking his head like he couldnât decide whether to laugh or break something.
âThat boyâs got a death wish,â he muttered. Then, sharper: âAnd Kenny doesnât know a damn thing about how any of this works.â
Jackâs voice was quieter now. âDoesnât matter if heâs right.â
Frank looked at him. âIt matters if you believe him.â Frank keep looking at Jack âDo you?â
âI donât know. I am active. Shouldnât I be first in those planes?â
âThat is not how it works Jack, you know this. What does Ellie say?â
âShe doesnât like talking about it.â He sighed, âAnd when we do, she always says that we are just lucky, and that in less than two years I will be out.â
Frank didnât even consider Jack had maybe asked Eleanor to talk to her father to intervene in his case. He knew his son, and he knew that he didnât raise a quitter or a coward.Â
âDo you want to go?â Frank asked quietly.
Jack didnât answer right away. He stood there a second longer than necessary, hands in his pockets, looking out into the dark like there was something to find there.
âNo,â he said finally. Then, after a beat-âEleanor needs me here. She-â
He stopped. The words didnât land the way they used to.
âWeâre building a life,â he tried again. âI barely-â He cut himself off, jaw tightening. Then forced it out, simpler. âBut if I have to, I will. I donât want to be protected because of who my wife is.â
Frank watched him for a moment, then sat down on the porch bench âJack.â He lifted a hand, gesturing for him to sit.Jack hesitated, then sat beside him.
âIf you want to stay,â Frank said, calm, even, âthen stay. Maybe they call you, maybe they donât. This isnât Vietnam. People are lining up for it.â
A small pause.
âBuild your life. Do your brunch weekends, or whatever she calls them.â
It wasnât mocking. Not exactly.
âBut donât stay,â he added, turning slightly toward him, âif youâre going to turn around later and blame her for it.â
âI wouldnâtââ
âYou say that now.â
Frank didnât raise his voice. He didnât need to.
âThen something stupid happens. You disagree over something that doesnât really matter, it escalates. You see a guy that did a few tours at the hospital who you think you couldâve helpedâ A small beat. âAnd it slips out.â
Jack didnât look at him.
âBefore you even realize it,â Frank went on, âyouâve turned it into her fault. That she kept you here. That she made the choice for you.â
Another pause.
âThatâs not fair to her. And itâs not true either.â
Jack swallowed, saying nothing.
Frank leaned back slightly, looking out into the dark now instead of at him.
âAnd if you want to go,â he said, just as steady, âthen go. Make the request. Do what you think youâre supposed to do. Help those boys.â
He let that sit for a second. âBut you already know what that costs.â
Jackâs jaw tightened. âYou saw it,â Frank said. âWith me and your mother.â His parents marriage was something he admired, but Jack did remember a few ugly arguments they had in his childhood, slamming doors and threats to leave, his mother crying in the bathroom with a half open door while his father was out. They managed to get out of the woods but it wasnât easy.Â
A longer pause this time.
âItâs not the distance that does it.â His voice dropped just slightly. âItâs the return.â
Jack finally looked at him.
âComing back different,â Frank said. âTo a place that stayed the same.â
 ââ-
Jack didnât stop in the living room. Voices carried, Kennyâs, Aprilâs, something sharp and overlapping, but he walked past like none of it matter. The house smelled like dinner. Something familiar, he usually would be crawling out the windows of hunger by now, expecting his mother's food.But he didnât turn. He wasnât hungry. Instead, he went straight upstairs.Â
 For a second, he just stood there in front of the white door of his childhood bedroom, hand still on the knob, like he needed that small barrier between him and everything else.
As he open it he could feel the warm in his cheek. The door clicked shut behind him, as he lay against it, taking a deep breath.
The room was lit only by the lamp on Eleanorâs side. He had changed some of it over the years, but it wasnât entirely different. A few old football trophies still sat on the shelf, slightly crooked. Books had replaced some of the clutter. But the bones of it were still there.
He remembered the first time he brought Eleanor here. The first time she was meeting his family, they would stay for the weekend.
Back then, the room hadnât been touched. Still frozen somewhere between his late teenage years. Paulina Porizkova and Christie Brinkley posters from Sports Illustrated taped to the walls, peeling at the corners. His jersey hung over a chair, cleats by the door, photos and trophies from his senior high school year.
She moved through it all like sheâd stepped onto a television set: curious, amused, taking everything in with a kind of delighted disbelief. She had gone to a private school that looked more European than American: stone buildings, uniforms. They didnât even have a football team.
Jack, on the other hand, had lived the familiar rhythm of a public American high school. Friday night lights bleeding into house parties, people showing up uninvited and staying anyway. Homecoming, prom, parking lots after dark, cheap beer, conversations that felt important until morning.
She couldnât help but tease him. He could still hear it light, delighted, just a little merciless. âYou are such a golden boy, Jack.â
Heâd rolled his eyes, but let her go on, watching her pick at it all with quiet amusement, like she was both entertained by it and a little fascinated, too. That the schools from the movies were real, and her boyfriend might have been the hot main football player from the teen romcoms.
He only stepped in when they were lying on bed, and she teased him reaching under his bed, already halfway through asking if she was about to find a stack of old Playboys. He remembered her asking if she would find any spread of a girl that looked like her in sticky pages. He didnât confirm it. Didnât deny it either. His face got pink in embarrassment and caught her wrist, pulling her back before she could find anything.Â
Eleanor was impossible back then. Impossibly hot, yes, but also, impossibly annoying. He didnât know if she got better, or if he learned how to deal with her.Â
Oh, he answered to himself, he definitely learned how to deal with her. On that weekend itself actually, when he noticed the way her gaze lingered just a second too long on his football stuff, the jersey, the photos of him in uniform, how she would bite her lip without noticing it.
After that, it became easy to stop her provocations.Â
âWhat was all that noise, baby?â Eleanor asked, voice low, barely lifting her head, bringing him back to the present.
She was already in bed.
Her hair was loose, spread over the pillow, a small cool rag draped across her forehead and over her eyes. One arm rested above her head, the other along her side, her body slack in that way that meant sheâd been lying there for a while.
Of course she heard. He had hoped she hadnât.
Jack crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, on his side, the mattress dipping under his weight.
âKenny and I had a fight,â he said quickly, like he could avoid Eleanor to process it âHow are you, princess?â
She pull the rag down just enough to see him, a few blinks adjusting to the light she saw the contour of his face âHoney, your eye!â She pushed herself up slowly, the cloth slipping into her lap, her attention narrowing as she took in his face. Her hand found his, gentle but insistent. âLet me see.â
Her fingers were almost hesitant at first, mapping where it might hurt before she touched him at all. She lifted the ice pack carefully, just enough to look without hurting him further. âThat motherfucker.â
Under any other circumstance, he mightâve laughed. It was her favorite word to privately call people she hated. But Eleanor, soft, polished Eleanor, spitting out âmotherfuckerâ it always caught him off guard. Now it just made his ribs ache.
âItâs fine,â he said. âLooks worse than it is.â
Her gaze flicked lower, his jaw, the faint tension in the way he held himself, the way he didnât quite straighten fully.
âDoes anything else hurt?â she asked, softer now.
He shook his head once, dismissive. âJust the eye.â
It wasnât convincing. Her fingers brushed lightly along his jaw anyway, then hovered near his ribs without quite touching, like she could see the ache there even if he wouldnât name it.
âI just need some aspirin,â Jack added.
Her brows pulled together. Yes, he might be a brilliant doctor, but with himself he definitely underestimated his pain. âBaby, I donât think aspirinâs going to do much for this.â Her hand settled against his back, slow, steady strokes. âHow are you even going to sleep?â
âHow is the headache?â he asked, changing the subject to what mattered most.
âBetter,â she said with a sigh. âComes and goes, but⌠better.â
He nodded, like that was the part he cared about.
The room went quiet, silence settled between them easily, with only the sound of the fabric of his shirt being smooth by the slow, absent gentle strokes of her hands. Calming in a way nothing else was.
âDo you want to talk about the fight?â she asked after a moment, gentle, leaving space for him to decide.Â
âNot really.â He exhaled, shoulders easing a fraction under her hand. Then, after a beat âDid you ever mention to your dad that I was working at the base because of the med school program?â
It landed oddly between them. Her hand slowed, perhaps even stopped for half a second, not enough to call it hesitation, but enough to notice if you were looking for it.
âYeah,â she said after a small beat, thinking it through. âI think so. He asked me about your loans once, and I told him you didnât have any because of the program.â Another quiet second. âWhy?â
Jack looked down, rubbing his thumb against his palm. âNothing.â
She let that sit. Her hand kept moving, quiet and consistent. âWhy are you asking?â she ended up filling the space.
âKenny said something.â He went to rub a hand over his face, wincing slightly when he forgot about the sensitivity of the area. âAbout me not being deployed yet. I justâ He sighed âI donât know. Thought maybe your dad mightâve⌠talked to someone.â
Eleanor watched him for a moment, her expression unreadable in that quiet, careful way she had.
âI see,â she said. There was a pause but no defensiveness. No rush to fix it.
Jack let out a small breath, leaning forward slightly, elbows on his knees. Her hand followed him without thinking, staying there, warm and steady against his back. Then, almost teasing, but not quite, he completed âWell⌠that, and you not wanting to sleep alone.â
âI donât,â she admitted, without hesitation. There was the faintest hint of a smile in her voice when she answered.
He slightly turned on bed to see her, she met his eyes âBut that doesnât mean Iâd do something like that without talking to you first,â her tone was calm and confident, like there was nothing else to be said. âYou know that.â
Her thumb traced a slow line along his back, almost absentminded again.
âBesides,â she went on, sighing, gentler now, âthis whole thing is going to be over soon. My dad says it wonât last more than three months now. We donât have to worry.â
There it was. That certainty. It sat somewhere between reassurance and hope, not quite anchored to either. Jack held her gaze for a second, like he was trying to find which one it was.Â
âWhat if I went?â he asked. It slipped out quieter than he meant it to.
Eleanor didnât pull away. âBaby⌠you wonât. Weâre so close to you being out.â Was it two or one more year he had to do to fulfill his obligations? She couldnât remember but they were close âAnd youâre doing such a good job at the base.â
She leaned in, pressing a light kiss somewhere near his shoulder, like sealing it there.
âTheyâre not going to send you.â
Eleanor reached to the nightstand and picked up the aspirin and the glass of water she had left there earlier, and when she sat back down again, she held both out without a word.
Jack took them, his fingers brushing hers, brief and warm.
She watched him swallow the pills, her expression still worried, then looked at his face again, as if the swelling might have changed while she wasnât looking.Â
âIâm going to take a shower,â he murmured. Now that the shock of it had passed, the rest of his body was making itself known in small, stubborn ways he had not bothered to mention.
âMm.â Her eyes stayed on him. âDo you want to lay down first?â
He hesitated, glancing toward the bathroom door, then back at her âI should justâget it over with.â
Her hand returned to his back, slower this time. âJack.â
He looked at her.
âLay down for a minute.â
âIâm fine.â
âI know,â she said gently. âLay down anyway.â There was no pressure in it. No insistence. Just that quiet certainty she had when she was asking for something she knew he needed.
He held her gaze for a beat longer, still resistant in that quiet way of his, before he gave in with the smallest sigh and lowered himself onto the bed.
Eleanor moved with him, but not the way she usually did. Tonight she did not curl into his chest or tuck herself against him. Instead she turned onto her side, facing him, one hand resting lightly against the pillow between them, as if she just wanted to keep watch. Her attention was entirely his.
The room went still again. Not awkward. Not empty. Just the same calm they always seemed to find with each other, even now.
Jack stared at the ceiling for a moment, jaw tight despite himself.
âYouâre thinking too loud,â she said softly.
He turned his head to her âAm I?â
She scrunched her nose, lifting two fingers in a small pinch. âA little.âÂ
That almost got something like a smile out of him. Almost.
âItâs nothing,â he said, though it didnât quite land that way.
Eleanor did not answer right away. She just watched him, her gaze moving over his face. The bruising along his eye was already darkening, the tension in his mouth, the way he was holding himself like he didnât quite trust his own body not to give something away.
âIt does not feel like nothing,â she said, almost under her breath.
Jack looked away.
Her fingers shifted slightly, brushing the back of his hand this time, a light, absent touch.
âIf it is about Kenny,â she said after a moment, âor about what he said⌠â
He exhaled through his nose, neither agreeing nor denying it.
Eleanor did not push. She only stayed close, her hand still resting against his, patient in the way she always was when something hurt him and he did not want to name it.
Her voice stayed low âIf you feel guilty, or if it is making you feel badâ she paused, as if choosing the right words, âWe can do something.â
He looked back at her then. âWhat do you mean?â
âSomething good.â Her voice warmed, quiet but certain. âA fundraiser. A donation. I can talk to a few friends, see what we can put together.â Her thumb moved gently against his hand. âSomething that helps people,â she added.Â
For a second, he looked like he might argue. Something in him tightened even as another part of him loosened.
Because he knew she meant well. This was how her world worked. And it would be useful. It would help people. It would mean something.
It would also be easier.
Part of him heard Kennyâs voice in his head. Heard his own. Heard the old, hard truth underneath it all: that maybe this was not the same as doing what he was meant to do. Maybe it was just a prettier way to feel less guilty.Â
His fingers flexed once against the sheet, then stilled. He did not say any of that.
He looked at Eleanor instead. She was trying to make it better, just like she always did, like the way she handled the house, the dinners, the people, making sure everything ran smoothly before he even noticed it might not. Brushing it off when he told her she didnât have to.
So he let the thought stay where it was, quiet and unresolved.
âYouâd really do that?â he asked.
Eleanorâs expression turned tender in a way that made his chest ache.Â
âFor you?â she said softly. âOf course I would, honey.â