just let it rain

Anne, a 20's she/her from the PH.

[brightwanderer]

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[jmgr]

Of connecting the dots

Probably the longest email I received from Pa, in response to an email sent to him by my clueless, whiny, too idealistic, feeling entitled fresh grad self back in 2008. Reading this again made me realize that my perspective on work has significantly changed since then. Work is both humbling and, for lack of a better word, dignifying (uplifting?). 

This is for fresh grads and not-so-fresh grads, and people who think that the grass is always greener on the other side (occasionally guilty of this) :)

Date: XX/XX/XXXX 9:26 PM    

Subject: Re: :(

dear aiks,

Keep reading

[orions-garden]

mother, daughter // a sandra lynn and figueroth faeth poem

here’s the contrapuntal poem I wrote as a part of @d20exchange 2025 for @complicatedwomenpodcast!!❄️

+ bonus short sandra lynn playlist here because I was feeling inspired

[madqueensarah]

If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid - see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours - you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

[kendrysaneela]

I’m obsessed with Helly and Helena’s different walks.

[capturecinema]

conclave (2024) dir. edward berger

[manny-jacinto]

CONCLAVE hive, tonight we ride or die! Good luck with 8 (eight) Academy Awards nominations!

[susellesie]

no dentist's office. no writing christmas cards. no taking flights. a world where every pain or minor annoyance is dismissed as your consciousness is replaced with a different version of you. a life without pain, or agitation, or monotony. and conversely, a life full of only that for every version of you who experiences the chores you wished to evade.

forget skipping work or school or birth. try everything. never experience anything that expires a negative emotion. the ideal consciousness sold as a product for the price of a version of you that you'll never meet.

but it doesn't matter. you carry the hurt down with you. in your hands, in your mind, your mouth. the grief mark experiences carried into his innie, gemma feeling the pain she experienced in the rooms even after she's been severed.

it doesn't matter. you carry it with you.

[thesparrow1996]

i kind of love that mark and gemma’s relationship is such a blank spot in severance so far. no flashbacks to their life together, mark never talks about her, devon has to skirt around barely mentioning her. nothing of substance has been conveyed about their relationship beyond the intensity of how her death shattered mark. it’s simultaneously the motivation behind his every move and something we as the audience know nothing about. there’s this harsh haunting nothing where those memories and love should be — the severance procedure represented by her total absence from the story. mark was so blinded by his grief that he followed gemma down into hell without even knowing she was there. it’s orpheus and eurydice playing out their roles totally absent of will and intention. they were face to face on the severed floor and he was unable to recognize her and unable to save her because he cut her out of his brain in order to live.

[maycate]

SEVERANCE (2022 - )

What was she like? Like you. Or you're like her? I don't know.

[carolsturka]

So for the fear and insecurity this has caused, I must sincerely atone.

SUCCESSION (S2E1): "The Summer Palace"

SEVERANCE (S2E2): "Goodbye, Mrs. Selvig"

[boasamishipper]

helena eagan whose destiny from birth was to be the future serene and placid face of lumon, who never once wavered from that path, even getting severed to prove her commitment to kier's vision, watching her innie be imperfect, impulsive, unsure, freely and openly affectionate and then receive affection and concern in turn with no strings attached.......yeah baby i'd rewind that security footage too

[florencvassy]

devon is so fucking cool. the way she hugs mark. the way she listened to innie mark’s concerns and not only does she take them seriously!! she takes them MORE seriously than outie mark himself!!! she’s the one insisting that they should be sure everything is okay with gemma. she’s exhausted from her newborn going MISSING and then finding her and she’s still trying to help mark. she DOES NOT trust milkshake. she tries to reconnect with mark after he (understandably) snaps at her. devon is such a cool fucking human being and sister. i adore her.

[hacash]

No, actually I'm not done with talking about Outie Mark and how well they've portrayed his grief on Severance, because the writers have done such a good job of showing that grief can be ugly and aggravating and painful and difficult to watch. Because Outie Mark isn't actually that fun to watch, a lot of the time! He's not soulful and romantic and dealing with his grief in a palatable manner: he's all hard edges and very dark humour! He cries loud and ugly! He picks fights! He's rude to his (admittedly aggravating) brother-in-law; he's a bit of a shit date to Alexa! He's very apathetic about what's going on at work, when quite frankly if he picked up the pace a little, we as the audience could find out more about what's going on! He has genuine substance abuse issues going on and spends a lot of his screentime just lying in a stupor in front of the TV! He's a compelling character but he's not fun to watch!

And I love how they've done this deliberately - I think the fact that at times the writers have been deliberately making Outie Mark deliberately hard to watch, at times because of his awkward humour and at times because he just is trying to avoid doing anything, and that's a deliberate choice because of his grief! The reason he takes so long to get shit done is because this man is literally paralysed by the grief he feels for his dead wife! He is so emotionally disconnected from the world that he spliced his brain clean in two to get away from the pain! He's choking on her ghost! Of course he's not eager to give himself the hope of believing she's alive only to go through that pain all over again!

(Also why the fuck did he of all people have to tell Gemma's students about her dying? Where the hell is that college's HR department.)

And it's not that Outie Mark is an unlikeable character, I'm really enjoying his arc at the moment, but I think they've made some really deliberate tweaks to show just what grief can do to someone and I am loving that they've deliberately made it ugly and painful to see.

[linusbenjamin]

Severance | 1.01 "Good News About Hell" x 2.02 "Goodbye, Ms. Selvig"

[soshihd]

4096 x 2731

[irishcoffeeslushie]

A former SM trainee’s observations of SJ members

PRELUDE

This personality analysis has been making the rounds in Mandarin-speaking ELF and Kpop forums for over ten years now. I think it first appeared sometime in 2005, and I remember reading it back then in the late 2000s. I’ve decided to translate it because as far as I can see there isn’t an English version of this, and I thought it would be fun to read for anyone who’s interested in SJ, along with a bit of DBSK, because back then you couldn’t talk about SJ without DBSK. They nearly debuted together, before being finalised as the two bands we know now. 

The original post was written over 12 years ago, when all of the members were in their teens or very early twenties, so a lot has changed since, but still. Kyuhyun was not included as he did not join SJ till mid 2006, and this account was written before that.

A former SM trainee’s observations of SJ members

Sources:

http://blog.xuite.net/hspsj61723/blog/16713229-一位SM練習生寫的SJ性格分析

https://tieba.baidu.com/p/135888110

http://www.xixik.com/content/68bbbe680385ddcc

http://blog.naver.com/bonnysoo?Redirect=Log&logNo=100028187219 (Korean; apparently this was the master post, but has since been removed)

Leeteuk: Completely different from the person we usually see onscreen. He’s an idol, but even for an idol, he’s astonishingly two-faced. He’s super nice to favoured youngsters within SMENT, such as Xiah Junsu and Kim Kibum (TRANSLATOR’S NOTE: lmao), but woe betide he whom Leeteuk dislikes. Leeteuk will go out of his way to be unpleasant to people he doesn’t like, probably because he spent so much time as a trainee, which embittered him.

Eunhyuk: His public persona is that of a silly, idiotic comedian who is very nice, but he’s actually very quiet and reserved. Like Leeteuk he spent too much time as a trainee which warped his personality to an extent. He’s not exactly selfish, but he is self serving. He dislikes Park Yoochun, and when Yoochun joined DBSK, he turned his back upon his friend Sungmin. He’s interesting, but can be easily swayed.

Sungmin: Another person who trained too long. He trained with Junsu and Eunhyuk so they’re on better terms, but they’re not super close. Eunhyuk and Junsu grew up together and are much closer, often leaving him out. Kangin and Leeteuk aren’t fond of him, and Donghae has no great love for him either. Unfortunately, Eunhyuk has started cold shouldering him too, but this cliquey behaviour is all too common amongst trainees. He’s quite shy and reserved, and he’s the kind of person whom [Korean] boys generally don’t like that much.

Donghae: Two-faced like Leeteuk, but his public image is squeaky clean, so it’s even more of a shock knowing what sort of person he really is. This may have something to do with the fact that he grew up in a less affluent household. He also treats people very differently - if Donghae doesn’t like you, you’ll know - and doesn’t care if he hurts their feelings. Yoochun tends to avoid Donghae, who dislikes him, along with Sungmin.

Yesung: He’s actually quite nice, and is closer to Kangin. He’s on amiable terms with everyone in SJ, and doesn’t like or dislike anyone in particular. Unfortunately SMENT dislikes Yesung, an animosity that started when he was a trainee. He’s smart and did well at school, but got into the wrong crowd when he was in high school. Since then though he’s put his troubled past behind him. He’s terrifying when he’s riled, but he hardly ever loses his temper. He’s probably on best terms with the entire band.

Hangeng/Hankyung: He’s Chinese, so he’s a bit quieter sometimes [due to the language barrier], but he’s cheeky, though in a good way, and very nice. He was quite well known back at school in China, and extremely popular. He’s a genuinely good person at heart, although he often has trouble because of the language. His best friends are Kibum, Heechul, Siwon and Donghae, and he completely ignores everyone else. He’s on good terms with Yesung, but that’s really it. SMENT looks extremely favourably upon him so he’s respected. SMENT considered making him the 6th member of DBSK at one point, but that idea was scrapped. 

Kangin: Got into the wrong crowd at school. Very strong; the boys call him ‘Lieutenant.’ Like Leeteuk he treats company favourites well, and has recently taken an immense dislike to Sungmin. He will dislike you for no reason at all. He speaks without stopping to think of what consequences his words might have, which possibly signifies a bad upbringing. He likes to shout at people and tell them off, and he’s good at fighting. In high school he mixed with local thugs as Yesung did, but whereas Yesung’s put all of that behind him, Kangin still maintains connections with those thugs. People are scared of him. He likes to pick on Leeteuk in front of the camera, and that’s the extent of their friendship.  

Heechul: Doesn’t particularly differentiate between people he likes and dislikes, but he will favour people he’s especially fond of. He’s not as weird as some of the rumours would have you believe, but he is “special.” He’s reserved to people he doesn’t know, but exuberant and warm to people he knows.

Kibum: SMENT’s golden boy. He’s completely different to everyone else in SJ because he was scouted in America and won first place for Best Looking Person, so with that in mind, the company has great expectations of him. Initially the company wanted him to be best friends with Heechul so they were assigned the same quarters, but Heechul disliked him initially and did not welcome him or treat him well, as he felt that Kibum had been imposed on him by the company, which he resented. At first, Kibum had no friends at all. It was only when he went back to America and returned that Heechul began to warm up to him. Kibum’s relationship with Heechul gradually improved, and they hung out with Donghae sometimes, and the three of them became great friends. Kibum is also on good terms with Yunho, but he doesn’t have many friends apart from them. Ther were loads of rumours about him dating some of the female trainees. After he debuted Heechul liked him much more, and the company favoured him immensely. Unfortunately he’s not a particularly pleasant person; he’s kind of rude and has a chip on his shoulder, and is rather self centred. He’s also very much of a loner, and prefers to be left alone to his own devices. He’s very defensive, and is naturally suspicious of others and their intents.

Ryeowook: He had no friends initally, only Kang Jun Young, and for that he is eternally grateful to Junyoung, but Junyoung lost his place in SJ to Ryeowook, which is something Ryeowook has never forgiven himself for. At first Ryeo was not popular within SJ, but they came to realise that he was very nice, so they treat him much better now.

EPILOGUE/TRANSLATOR’S NOTE

This was written ages ago, before Kyuhyun debuted, even, and obviously a lot has changed. As for my personal opinion - I think the original author may have slightly exaggerated some of the facts, but based on all the interviews and variety shows I watched them doing in the mid to late 2000s, I’d say that it’s not too far off the mark. I’ve never liked Kangin that much; in Full House (which is still the best indicator of what their personalities are like imo) he came across as pushy and aggressive and not in a good way. His recent DUI scandals don’t surprise me - if someone back then had asked me which member of SJ was most likely to drive under the influence, I would have said him. 

Hangeng, Kibum, Yesung and Ryeowook’s descriptions are consistent with that I’ve seen in interviews etc and what I’ve heard of them, as well as the general vibe they give off. I’m disappointed that this account was pre-Kyuhyun - I would have loved to hear what they thought of him. On the August 31, 2011 TV broadcast of Kang Shim Chang, Kyuhyun said that he was not welcomed when he first joined SJ, and that he was so sure that he was going to be sent away that for the first 9 months he never fully unpacked his suitcases. He also shared that Leeteuk was rather mean to him at first, and that when they won their first prize Kyuhyun restrained his emotions as he had been made to feel that he was not qualified enough to celebrate with the rest of the band (wtf - can you imagine how much psychological bullying he must have suffered in order to have such a severe lack of self esteem?). It was only when Leeteuk came to him and hugged him, and told him that he had worked hard as well, that Kyuhyun was able to let go of some of his fear towards Leeteuk (source), so I can definitely buy the OP’s post about Leeteuk being somewhat opportunistic, domineering and double-faced.

Not sure why Siwon and Shindong weren’t included, but that’s probably because the trainee never actually met them.

Anyway, the original post came out in 2005, and one should bear in mind that their behaviour is typical for teenagers, especially a bunch of them living together under pressure, and again so much has changed. It’s hilarious how the Kibum paragraph was much meatier than everyone else’s. The trainee obviously felt rather strongly about him, also the fact that he was SJ’s most famous member at the time didn’t hurt. Lmao, Kibum. I do wonder if he ever thinks about the past, and what could have been.