macheresin for the macherewin

Emily. 26. Jewish. Ace. She/Her. Member of the Top Gun Old Guard. Multifandom trash with way too many OTPs and a vague attempt at a tagging system. Header by @indifferentvincent. Icon by @articianne. Boasamishipper on AO3.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i love adhd. i have a lot to do at work today. i take my meds. i open the word document. i immediately misspell “benzodiazepines.” i go on tumblr to post “benzodiazepenis….” for the mutualés. and then it’s 45 minutes later and ive caught up on tumblr and checked the weather and read a fic and texted an ex and ordered new pens and looked up a recipe for chicken pot pie and posted about adhd and done zero work.

[nyansense-the-nyanbinary]

you CANNOT leave this in the tags that's so perfect and accurate

Yeagh for fuckin real...

[succubusboyfriend]

you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.

[segamascott]

[i-enact-postvore]

You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw

[loveshoplifter]

same but it's black people

[i-enact-postvore]

That's right

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

There have been literal race riots going on in parts of the UK over the last few days - violent, angry bigots firebombing homes and cars belonging to immigrants, refugees, and literally anyone with dark skin, with families having to flee under police protection.

This vile behaviour is being goaded on by far right agitators and parties like Reform UK and the media pretending like these nasty thuggish arseholes have “legitimate” concerns rather than just being maladjusted, pathetic little cunts who can’t stand their own irrelevance.

I never want to see anyone pretend we don’t have a huge fucking racism problem ever again.

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

You know what I can’t stop thinking about? Refugees - people who have escaped some of the worst circumstances imaginable, hell on earth, some who have had to make extremely dangerous journeys to get here, believing that they would find safety, peace, a fresh start. Instead, this is what they find.

It makes me fucking sick.

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

And I'll see other posts on here about this and be nodding along, agreeing, until I get to the end and see unhingedly antisemitic sentences about "zionist baby killers" and I'm like, nope, you have lost me completely.

Trading one form of racism for another. Well done. Meanwhile, I'm here, in the middle, going "you're all fucking arseholes actually."

[boasamishipper]

life in wisconsin this week

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[playthings2007]

You have 4 minced messages

[395nm]

She's sending me minced messages

[eliyahu613]

this tweet. but for tumblr

[dashaibo]

And what, pray tell, is so wrong with that? Must a king lower himself to the vocabulary of insects? Must an academiac explain his reasoning to kindergartners? There is no shame in knowledge nor is there in verbosity. Quite the opposite, they are to be celebrated. But I guess this is the world we are forced to inhabit. This world... This planet, teeming with life and all its infinite possibilities. And you would dare dilute it, so that a simpleton's mind could comprehend it? I will not stand for this. No more shall a man be judged for his might, his ambition, his intellect. No more shall we look down on those who propose a mere thought experiment about owning a human pec9sdjv0 c9i2ewokhndvoi adsjvci uwqeowdsxujvnli ufdsiuljfcniu ofeidcvjpc9nUIODSuljvniuwqopisafjvp985erioewaudJHB9jrg8frjuv8ar9jvuw08rd9vujq35g89spdujigk[0e9ravjik0rvu9jq54w8yvh r8og;af9ukjgmoiaelgurj9g8zboifyhvlo8fivujawp89 OC:Ivjare0sd9oizl

[semicolonthefifth]

Please leave the mall, you're making a scene.

[dashaibo]

You won't... Keep me... from Hot Topic... forever...

[oneefin]

number theory* diagram

[michaelrotonal]

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

[kalichnikov]

[mspaintly]

[surprisebitch]

this was so wild

[camille-the-space-ghost]

Someone explain

[thefirstanomally]

The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.

In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.

The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.

The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.

[amishsicario]

[yd12k]

the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy

[spiral-dragon-king]

[crack-fic-casey]

This is the worst website ever and I love it.

[noctude]

my sister: when does the show come out. with the two gay men

me: the???

her: the two gay men. one big one little.

me: one big one little???????

her: they have red chairs

me: .......TASK, MASTER......

[boasamishipper]

@russell-crowe

[c3rvida3]

People will write a five page "summary" of their novel that tells me nothing about the plot other than that it has totally gay Y2K T4T Southern gothic transmasc cottagecore enemies to lovers buzzword vibes only for the actual contents of the book to be less diverse and inclusive and compelling than the line, "All of my friends were jealous, except my blind friends," from hit Neil Cicierega song "Really Cool Wig".

[filmphotofranz]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Martina McBride didn't win Country Music Association Song of the Year for a song about how burning your house down with your abusive husband still inside it is good, noble, and an allegory for the American Revolution for people to act like the genre belongs to bootlicking fucks

[dragon-in-a-fez]

other things people didn't do for you to act like country music belongs to bootlicking fucks:

Garth Brooks winning video of the year at the ACMs for a song about how none of us are free as long as there's racism and homophobia

Reba McEntire charting with a gothic horror song about an innocent man being executed by an incompetent judge and a corrupt sheriff

Willie Nelson being, well, his entire self tbh

Dolly Parton recording the hating capitalism banger of all time

Kacey Musgraves telling everyone to ignore the haters, smoke weed, and be a bisexual slut

[dragon-in-a-fez]

how the hell did I leave Morgan Wade off this list. wrote a song about being depressed, alcoholic, and suicidal and how mental illness stigma sucks, saw how much people connected with it, wrote a Part II of that song about how she's doing better now but you're never totally free of the risk of relapse. fucking icon.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I specifically curated this list so people couldn't be like "ah yes but you see here is my simple binary of good and bad country music which always works", I made sure to add different genders, eras, subgenres, etc and y'all are still pulling that shit in the tags!

listen. Alan Jackson, the archetypal mister big hat man sitting on a tractor singing about a pickup truck, wrote a shockingly normal song about 9/11 that was like "yeah I don't know jack shit about politics but my copy of the bible says we're supposed to love everyone" and then went on the radio and explained how he specifically wanted to write a song about that day that "wasn't vengeful". Miranda Lambert took the southern leftist slogan "y'all means all" and made it the title of a corny ass pop-country song for the Queer Eye soundtrack. Kenny Chesney stole a horse from a cop and Tim McGraw put the cop in a chokehold defending him, and I know that's not about their music but it is, and this is very important, fucking sick as hell

it's fine if you only listen to female country artists or pre-1990 country artists or whatever the fuck you want but stop acting like you've cracked the secret code to dividing a whole genre of art into good pure anti-establishment folk songs vs bad corrupted right-wing sellout pulp

[dragon-in-a-fez]

updating this post for 2025:

Luke Combs covering Fast Car and keeping the line "I work in the market as a checkout girl" and doing an interview about how he couldn't change a single word because it's not his story. king shit

Morgan Wallen doing I Had Some Help, literally the first song that spoke to me as a male survivor of domestic abuse. also shoutout to the guy for getting caught saying a racial slur and responding by specifically telling his fans not to defend him and raising a bunch of money for the Black Music Action Coalition. bro had an engraved invitation to the culture war and said "nah I'd rather be normal"

Shaboozey just absolutely obliterating the drunk roadhouse anthem glass ceiling

Maren Morris and Brothers Osborne with a song that okay, released in 2019 but I didn't hear until recently, about how good friends mind their own business and let you love whoever you want and also get high with you when you're broke

Kimberley Perry! If I Die Young Part 2!! "actually I'm glad I lived, bitch" ass song that I bet is gonna mean a LOT to kids fighting depression

Kelsea Ballerini and Noah Kahan with Cowboys Cry Too. okay it's shallow and corny but genuinely a shallow and corny song about how men shouldn't be afraid to have feelings is what a lot of men need

[dragon-in-a-fez]

bringing the full version of this post back around because people are pissing me off today

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

[yamitamiko]

me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey

[tinyhipsterboy]

me, shouting at the top of my lungs: ICED VENTI VANILLA LATTE FOR JENNIFER

male customer standing right in front of me turns to look

me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?

customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip

customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.

me: are you jennifer?

customer: no, i’m daniel

[pg-chan]

Some people wonder why people fight wars, but I have no trouble imagining reasons for people to just haul off on each other. 

[maswartz]

People like this should have to pay full price for the order they ruined.

[the-haiku-bot]

People like this should

have to pay full price for the

order they ruined.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[lavendead]

i know we joke about the knicks being a power of friendship team, but genuinely that’s what got us the win last night. like if this was a movie people would be saying that they’re being heavy handed with it. flashback to game 2, the knicks are up 1 and the spurs have the last possession of the game. wemby tries for a three, it doesn’t go in, game lost, wemby is devastated. now cut to last night, spurs are up one and knicks have last possession of the game. brunson puts up a three, it doesn’t go in, but what’s that? og anunoby flying in to tip it in, putting the knicks in the lead, winning them the game. that shit is straight cinema, real life ironic parallels being drawn