yoyoyo

Tbh I just want to watch Netflix

[mousegard]

[moldygal]

IM SCREAMING LOOK AT MICHELLE’S FACE

[onemancabaret-deactivated202412]

Because Tr*mp brushes past her without saying hi. He deadass walked away from his wife and the Obamas both had to escort her up the stairs.

Michelle wasn’t being ungrateful, she was just done with his sh*t.

[ruinedchildhood]

Betty White was surprised yet grateful for her fans’ GoFundMe campaign in an interview on her 95th birthday - January 17, 2017

[ruinedchildhood]

Barack Obama thanks Joe Biden during his Farewell Address on January 10, 2017

[memewhore]

[ombrophobia]

So awkward.

I walked past a cemetery when I was walking home and like… I’m alive so… yea.

[jesusduggar]

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a nursing home and like….I’m not old so….yea

[abhortion-deactivated20131214]

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a river and like….I’m not a fish so….yea

[demisnowflake-deactivated201408]

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a car dealership and like….I’m not an automobile so….yea

[katherinearandez]

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I was walking over the sewer the whole time and like….I’m not a piece of shit….yea

[popularhistorian]

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past an atheist and like…I’m a church so… yea

[crvshstripped]

wait what

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Let’s bring this mess back. ❤

[poor-old-faggot]

[lindsaylohoean-deactivated20160]

when people ask me about my plans for the future

[botherjohnmisty-deactivated2018]

J.R.R. Tolkien‘s full name:

Jolkien Rolkien R. Tolkien

[meladoodle]

hope this isnt too nsfw for you guys but id really like to hold a hand

[mickoymilkovich]

Sinner’s Prayer (2016) // LADY GAGA’s joanne

[pastelyrics]

Million Reasons // Lady Gaga

[dailyladylyrics]

[rrraquelle]

[thriftstorewarfare-blog]

…did…did Barbie just break the fourth wall. 

[cosmicplants-deactivated2014031]

that is stacy you uncultured swine

[bitchsides]

one of my biggest fears is dying after i suck a dick…. like once i watched Law & Order SVU & this dead girl had just sucked dick and had a bunch of semen in her stomach….. if they found me dead with semen in my stomach my mom would kill herself just so she could meet me in hell and beat my ass

[hellnhonor]

ok but what about dying while someone is sucking your dick ? It REALLY happened to a fucking PRESIDENT OF FRANCE, Felix FAURE (1841 - 1899) 

this fucker here

had a fucking attack while his mistress (it wasn’t his fucking wife imagine the scandal) was giving him surely the best blowjob he ever experienced and he died when he reached orgasm

His Mistress Marguerite Stenheil was soon after given a nickname who was also a pun “pompe funèbre” which usually mean mortician I think, but can be understood here as “mortal vacuum” okay I’ll never get over this fact I’m always fucking pissing myself 

google the shit if you don’t believe me

how do I know this ? oh freaking simple I just happen to share the same fucking surname as this classy dude

yeah

[einsteinsroses-blog]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST EDUCATIONAL AND HILARIOUS POST I’VE READ

[tabigale]

[lesbophobes-deactivated20220907]

my new years resolution is to flip off myself apparently

[ramen-the-noodles-blog]

“Wink at cats”

[robaespierre]

“Believe in a bird”

[sonicbinch]

blocked and reported for kinkshaming

[lostnico-deactivated20170329]

Wink at ghosts nice

[astral-prince]

Wink at Satan, awesome

[gaeadene]

touch cats

AW YEAH

[avaleon]

Date nobody…

[altrissa-deactivated20170221]

“Believe in my ass”

[itssammifage-blog]

...pee on God

[zackancodeine]

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.