Mike dot com

RP/ask/ic blog for b'way's Mike Teavee from CaTCF.  indie/open to all.  Character is 13, writer is 18+.  I'm a sideblog, so I can't like or follow back, but I do check my follows and I love you.

[itsteaveetime]

//yeah I just scrolled back through years of content to force tumblr to review whatever dumb crap their terrible software erroneously flagged.  

Tumblr you did this to yourself.

I do miss writing this dork, tho.// 

[itsteaveetime]

"Long time no see. How've you been lately, Mike?"

“It wasn’t thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat long.  Unless time gets longer when you’re old.  Sometimes my mom doesn’t know what day it is?  Anyway: I totally said.  Wrongly accused of fire-starting.  Watching Die Hard.  Taking drugs I’m supposed to take and theoretically saying no to the ones I’m not, ‘cause no one ever offers me any anyway.  Like: the usual.  Why?

“Did you missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss me?”  

[crypticcandyman-archive]

“Well, I usually ignore the laws of nature and time so I wouldn’t know about that. But, it’s nice to hear that everything is…fine. I don’t even want to know about the fire.”

“And, I mean, I haven’t talked to you in a while so I suppose one could say I’ve missed you. I just like to check in on you every now and then. Making sure you’re at least getting along just fine.”

[itsteaveetime]

“…”

“…”

“OH YEAH!  YOU MISSED ME!”

[crypticcandyman-archive]

“Don’t think that makes you my favorite. I’ve missed plenty of people I haven’t talked to in a while.”

[itsteaveetime]

“You brought up favoriteses, not me.  

But I am everybody’s problematic fave, that’s, like, indisputable.”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Y-you share a birthday with your lizard?

But yes, I believe we can make it! Flights are not cheap on short notice, but when I mentioned that you were having a party, Mama was very enthusiastic and she agreed. ”

[itsteaveetime]

“Duh.

Dope.  I’ll tell my mom.”  

[mehrzulieben]

“Wunderbar! I am excited to see you! 

Is there anything we should wear to the ceremony? And is there anything you want for a gift?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh.  I unno.  Like.  Pants?

The traditional present is gift cards.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Pants are good, yes. Although my mother will wear a dress. 

As for gift cards, I can do this! But you will also be probably be receiving something knitted by my mother. How cold is it, where you are from?

[itsteaveetime]

“Approved.  Moms in pants is just too weird.

Uh.  It gets super cold but I don’t go outside?  But I’m always kinda cold, so…?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well, she had already been on the internet looking for a pattern to make you a sweater! Although, she is also looking to make a tiny round hat for you because it is apparently something you must wear during this ceremony?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Now I.  Have concerns.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I can tell her to not make the hat. She just gets over excited when she had someone new to knit for. At this rate, I would expect a box full.”

[itsteaveetime]

“I mean...she could do a regular hat, if she wanted.  Also feet stuff.”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I am not the most liked by my classmates, Wonka tour or not..”

[itsteaveetime]

“…something is wrong with your classmates.”

[mehrzulieben]

“It is just best to ignore them.”

[itsteaveetime]

“You can also try hitting them.”

[mehrzulieben]

“That . . .  is not good advice, Michael.

… Have you done that?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Maybe.  But I also haven’t gone to school in a while.  And also they deserved it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“…. May I asked how this happened?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh, okay.  I lifted my hand to, like, eye level, straightened out my fingers, and whacked at ‘em in a generally downward motion mostly in the upper body region.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I did not phrase this well. I mean to say why did you hit someone?”

[itsteaveetime]

“‘Cuz.  You know.  Like I said: deserved it.”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Y-you share a birthday with your lizard?

But yes, I believe we can make it! Flights are not cheap on short notice, but when I mentioned that you were having a party, Mama was very enthusiastic and she agreed. ”

[itsteaveetime]

“Duh.

Dope.  I’ll tell my mom.”  

[mehrzulieben]

“Wunderbar! I am excited to see you! 

Is there anything we should wear to the ceremony? And is there anything you want for a gift?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh.  I unno.  Like.  Pants?

The traditional present is gift cards.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Pants are good, yes. Although my mother will wear a dress. 

As for gift cards, I can do this! But you will also be probably be receiving something knitted by my mother. How cold is it, where you are from?

[itsteaveetime]

“Approved.  Moms in pants is just too weird.

Uh.  It gets super cold but I don’t go outside?  But I’m always kinda cold, so…?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well, she had already been on the internet looking for a pattern to make you a sweater! Although, she is also looking to make a tiny round hat for you because it is apparently something you must wear during this ceremony?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Now I.  Have concerns.”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I am not the most liked by my classmates, Wonka tour or not..”

[itsteaveetime]

“…something is wrong with your classmates.”

[mehrzulieben]

“It is just best to ignore them.”

[itsteaveetime]

“You can also try hitting them.”

[mehrzulieben]

“That . . .  is not good advice, Michael.

… Have you done that?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Maybe.  But I also haven’t gone to school in a while.  And also they deserved it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“…. May I asked how this happened?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh, okay.  I lifted my hand to, like, eye level, straightened out my fingers, and whacked at ‘em in a generally downward motion mostly in the upper body region.”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Y-you share a birthday with your lizard?

But yes, I believe we can make it! Flights are not cheap on short notice, but when I mentioned that you were having a party, Mama was very enthusiastic and she agreed. ”

[itsteaveetime]

“Duh.

Dope.  I’ll tell my mom.”  

[mehrzulieben]

“Wunderbar! I am excited to see you! 

Is there anything we should wear to the ceremony? And is there anything you want for a gift?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh.  I unno.  Like.  Pants?

The traditional present is gift cards.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Pants are good, yes. Although my mother will wear a dress. 

As for gift cards, I can do this! But you will also be probably be receiving something knitted by my mother. How cold is it, where you are from?

[itsteaveetime]

“Approved.  Moms in pants is just too weird.

Uh.  It gets super cold but I don’t go outside?  But I’m always kinda cold, so...?”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I am not the most liked by my classmates, Wonka tour or not..”

[itsteaveetime]

“…something is wrong with your classmates.”

[mehrzulieben]

“It is just best to ignore them.”

[itsteaveetime]

“You can also try hitting them.”

[mehrzulieben]

“That . . .  is not good advice, Michael.

… Have you done that?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Maybe.  But I also haven’t gone to school in a while.  And also they deserved it.”

[itsteaveetime]

"Long time no see. How've you been lately, Mike?"

“It wasn’t thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat long.  Unless time gets longer when you’re old.  Sometimes my mom doesn’t know what day it is?  Anyway: I totally said.  Wrongly accused of fire-starting.  Watching Die Hard.  Taking drugs I’m supposed to take and theoretically saying no to the ones I’m not, ‘cause no one ever offers me any anyway.  Like: the usual.  Why?

“Did you missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss me?”  

[crypticcandyman-archive]

“Well, I usually ignore the laws of nature and time so I wouldn’t know about that. But, it’s nice to hear that everything is…fine. I don’t even want to know about the fire.”

“And, I mean, I haven’t talked to you in a while so I suppose one could say I’ve missed you. I just like to check in on you every now and then. Making sure you’re at least getting along just fine.”

[itsteaveetime]

“...”

“...”

“OH YEAH!  YOU MISSED ME!”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Y-you share a birthday with your lizard?

But yes, I believe we can make it! Flights are not cheap on short notice, but when I mentioned that you were having a party, Mama was very enthusiastic and she agreed. ”

[itsteaveetime]

“Duh.

Dope.  I’ll tell my mom.”  

[mehrzulieben]

“Wunderbar! I am excited to see you! 

Is there anything we should wear to the ceremony? And is there anything you want for a gift?”

[itsteaveetime]

“Uh.  I unno.  Like.  Pants?

The traditional present is gift cards.”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I am not the most liked by my classmates, Wonka tour or not..”

[itsteaveetime]

“…something is wrong with your classmates.”

[mehrzulieben]

“It is just best to ignore them.”

[itsteaveetime]

“You can also try hitting them.”

[itsteaveetime]

“OMG I am dying laughing adults just try it.  You’ve got me.  LOL.”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

“I am not the most liked by my classmates, Wonka tour or not..”

[itsteaveetime]

“...something is wrong with your classmates.”

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Nein. You are the first one. Mama doesn’t even know, because I think she would be very upset.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh?  Why?

I woulda told everybody.  I woulda livestreamed it.”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”

[mehrzulieben]

“Y-you share a birthday with your lizard?

But yes, I believe we can make it! Flights are not cheap on short notice, but when I mentioned that you were having a party, Mama was very enthusiastic and she agreed. ”

[itsteaveetime]

“Duh.

Dope.  I’ll tell my mom.”  

[mehrzulieben]

Tagged by @itsteaveetime

[itsteaveetime]

KISSED A GIRL: “Once. But it was a small Kuss.” 

“…

…

…”

“YOU KISSED A GIRL???????????????????????????????????”

[mehrzulieben]

“ONCE! And for three seconds. It was just a thing that happened.”

[itsteaveetime]

“YOU KISSED A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

What’d she…what’d she do?”

[mehrzulieben]

“Well. We uh. Both had never kissed anyone. And uh. We both wanted to say we had?”

[itsteaveetime]

“I need way more deets than that, Gloop.  Open your mouth, like there’s a donut-a-comin’ and spill!  

Did she, like, taste all girl-y?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She had on a lot of lip balm, so she tasted kind of like this? It was strawberry.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Huh.  Did she say anything?  Like, after?”

[mehrzulieben]

“I…. said ‘danke schön.’ She gave me a look and said, ‘bitte.’ It was very awkward.”

[itsteaveetime]

“That’s it?  What’d she say at school and stuff?”

[mehrzulieben]

“She told her friends she had kissed a boy at the festival but did not mention my name. And they were impressed. But she . . . didn’t mention my name. So nobody knows.”

[itsteaveetime]

“Did you tell anybody?”

[mehrzulieben]

"Do you think your mom would let you come to America if it was kind of important? I guess she could come too. There'll be food..." -itsteaveetime

“Naja… flying to American on short notice may be difficult, but if it is important, we will be there. But are you okay? What is this important thing, Michael?”

[itsteaveetime]

mehrzulieben

“This isn’t about my cousins, though. This is about you, Michael. When is your party, exactly?”

“Oh, right.  September 1st.  Almost mine and Chainsaw Massacre’ses b-day.  My mom likes to consolidate.”