just another girl

reblogging everything interesting... or something like that

[onnaise-blog]

Swallowing glass just to stay pure

[may]

if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass

[justbadpuns]

What do you call a pony with a raspy voice? A little hoarse.

[kuboe-deactivated20231023-deact]

tbh(thinkin bout Halloween)

[chimis-changa]

[sylvonyx]

More stickers!! Get your kitties here!

[humoristics]

Cute puppy is incredible at playing dead

[honeyjelli]

*buys something online*

wow it sure is good to have a reason to live again

[undereyelouisvuittons-deactivat]

Going bowling

Me: *sticks fingers in bowling ball* Bowling ball: daddy Me: wtf

[dennys]

Look, the egg is fine. It’s just a little nervous about the impending spatula flip. Don’t worry. This is an egg’s destiny.

[restorify-deactivated20181217]

Is Denny’s okay?

[dennys]

WE SAID WE’RE FINE!!

[doncdesole]

I laughed way harder than i should have 

[meanplastic]

Did you try turning it off and back on again?

[hoanbee]

[doctorwhogeneration]

Carrie always tweets great and true things

[charlubby]

so i work at lush and the most famous person i’ve served so far is adele. one day i’m just standing there moving some bubble bars and pretending to look busy when suddenly this lady comes in with her child. i think “she looks like adele if adele didn’t wear make up” whilst i go over to greet her. she asks me what a bath bomb is. i think “hmm, she is very unexpectedly cockney, like adele.” halfway through my description of bath bombs i realise holy fuck it’s actually adele, and i end up saying “so these are bath bombs, you drop them in the water mnnnnnnand theychangecolour n fizz…..do stuff……..” and i think she realises i suddenly know who she is because she gently but firmly tells her son to pick a bomb. she gets some for herself as well. i put her through the till and i realise she looks very tired, so i don’t want to bother her, but holy fucking shit this is adele. i’ve ugly cried so many times while warbling her beautiful songs. she’s unwittingly been there through some bad times for me. i want to say something but i’m not sure what, so i fixate on her bright woolly vest and blurt out “i like your vest!” and she immediately replies, very chipper, “aw fanks it makes me look like a rare bird!” she departs and i stand there shaking while i whisper to my colleague that that was adele. this reaches the back of the shop where a birthday party for a bunch of 14 year olds is going on and my 19 year old colleague just shrieks “WHAT” at the top of his voice. all the girls clamour asking if we have security cameras to prove it actually was her and i’m like, the proof is that i have suddenly become 10 times emotionally stronger after being in her presence. i have absorbed her self love and all of my exes have crumbled into dust, dissolving away like the bath bomb she’ll be using later on that very night

[deeplifequotes]

A soulmate is someone who appreciates your level of weird.

Bill Murray (via deeplifequotes)

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball

[strlp]

you know those disgusting aggravating boys that you just wanna