“thank you,” she offered quietly, taking a seat next to jolene. she pulled her knees up against her chest, wrapping her arms around them. it was a comfort position for her, even if physically it still caused a little pain. no one warned you about that after brith. not that mariah knew much about giving birth to kids, sarah was her first. probably her last. if it wasn’t for jolene and ivan, having done this before, she wasn’t sure sarah would have made it a week. she didn’t know what she was thinking, getting in a car and driving from her past life? did she plan to have sarah live in the truck with her? jolene and ivan were godsends.
first dyer holiday. she repeated in her brain. was there going to be a second? truth was she was just waiting for the ball to drop, that she’d have to leave again. or that they wouldn’t want her or sarah there. her eyes began to well up with tears again, thinking about it. thinking about the possibility of second, the fact there was even a first. “it was great,” she spoke softly, a whimper in her tone. “truthfully, it was my first one ever,” she admitted, her voice felt small. she felt small. breaking down her walls for someone was one of the hardest things for her to do. “not just dyer, but just.. holiday in general,” she paused chewing on the inside of her cheek, “my family.. they weren’t the greatest. thanksgiving was just a day with the parade on in the background. i-” she stopped again. inhaling a shaky breath, “i hated holidays because they meant i couldn’t be at school. school was a safe space for me, i mean… the teachers never cared to listen to me about anything at home but at least they didn’t touch me.”
at this point, as her eyes stared at her knees, she was just speaking as the words came to her head. a out loud diary? word vomit? “i always dreamed about a holiday like today. like what you see in the movies yanno? people laughing, just… spending time together. enjoying themselves. this was the first time in my life that i didn’t spend the day hiding in a close or hovering in a corner, hoping that everything would stop. the beatings, the burnings, the night visits, just… everything.” lifting a shaky hand to her face to wipe away a few tears away, “i never thought that i would experience this. last thanksgiving i didn’t think i’d make it to this one, i was so.. fucked up on doing anything that could take all of it away. i thought i’d take a bad hit and od before i ever made it to 18.” she sniffled, taking a shaky breath in as she wiped at her eyes again, “now i’m sitting here, with someone who… is such an amazing person and amazing mother. and i just had this incredible day that i spent my entire life dreaming of and it’s..”
“it’s a little overwhelming. i should be happy, and i… i think i am? but i just… i wish i had had someone like you in my life when i was younger. i wish i had met you sooner, when i didn’t feel so screwed up.” shaking her head, looking up at jolene for a second, offering a small smile before she looked down again, “i don’t know how i could ever thank you for all this… for taking me in and sarah in. for showing me a day like today. for showing me that people like you exist in this world. for showing me that maybe there is actually… good in the world. just.. i don’t know what else to say except thank you.” she paused before throwing her head back slightly, wincing at the realization of all she just said, “and i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have just spat all that out to you. i don’t– i just… i want you to know you and ivan… i’ll never be able to repay you for any of this. you’ve saved my life. you’ve saved sarah’s life.” her voice cracked saying her daughter’s name. wiping tears from her eyes again, before wrapping her arm back around her leg, “and i really hope that we get to experience a second dyer family holiday.”
jolene thought maybe she said something wrong as she saw mariah’s eyes fill up with tears. were holidays not her thing? had she hated the entire day being surrounded by the dyers and their constant smiling? jolene knew her and ivan could be a bit much for people sometimes. poor mariah having to live with them and their constant need to laugh with each other. you’d think it’d calm down the longer they were married, but that wasn’t the case for them.
jolene’s motherly instincts came forth as she reached out for mariah rubbing her back as she spoke telling jolene about her past, darker holidays. the more she revealed, the more jolene’s heart ached for the woman siting next to her. jolene felt she knew mariah pretty well up to this point. she had her secrets and a shady past, but jolene could tell mariah was a decent and kind person. that’s all that mattered when the dyers opened up their home to her. jeanette didn’t think it was a great idea at first since they knew practically nothing about the teen, but even that old woman had grown to adore mariah. as mariah told her story, all jolene could do was sit and listen. she was good at that. she couldn’t believe this intelligent, kind soul could ever be mistreated this way. it made the blonde angry as she sat there. how could someone treat their child this way? jolene’s hands went to her pregnant belly as her heart pounded thinking about her own children being treated the way mariah had. she felt helpless as mariah spoke.
jolene offered her an encouraging smile leaning over to the coffee table grabbing a couple of the tissues they kept there for little runny noses. handing the tissue to mariah, she continued smiling, but her face turned serious. “mariah, i was not the best person when i was younger. i did a lot of idiotic things that broke my mama’s heart. i don’t think you’d feel this way about me if we met any sooner. i probably would have pulled you into my chaos tornado without meaning to because i did that a lot to people. i was a destructive force that didn’t care much about others and consequences. i’ve grown a lot since then, but i’m still embarrassed about how i used to be. so, i think we met at the exact moment we were supposed to.” she smiled again. “we all make mistakes, but we’re all human and we learn to grow and evolve. our past does not define us. you’re a walking poster child for that. you’ve been through so much, but here you are, a warrior.” her smile widened. “you’re a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman, who i am so lucky to have in my home and be part of my family.”
“there is no need to thank us for taking you in,” she continued. “it was a no-brainer for ivan and i. we would have said yes a million times over. we love having you in this house and being here for us. because you’re here for us as much as you think we’re there for you.” she reached out and took mariah’s hand in her’s squeezing it. “and never apologize to me again for telling me things. i want to hear it all. we’re family now and family knows all the good, bad, and the ugly. thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. i know it must have been hard and i hope you know we would ever judge you on what you have done in the past.” her eyes welled up with tears looking at the younger woman. “you’ll get to experience as many dyer holidays as you’d like. our home will always be open for you and sarah.” she paused a moment giving mariah’s hand another squeeze. “they can be dyer-ogden holidays. unless you want to take my last name too,” she teased, laughing between the sniffles of her red nose.
Ivan emerged from his deep turkey slumber and sluggishly made his way down the stairs. That short nap had helped make room for more turkey, and though he wasn’t fully awake yet, he was ready for more. Patting his stomach, he walked past the living room, nodding hello to his wife and Mariah, then quickly backtracked his steps and poked his head into the room. They were both red-faced and sniffling and holding on to each other, and if Ivan didn’t know any better, he would think they were drunk. “Uhhh,” he said rather loudly, to catch their attention in case they hadn’t noticed him walk by. “You two okay in there?” Concern creased his brow, but they seemed okay... and leftovers were calling his name, so Ivan remained where he stood, ready for a quick retreat in case he wasn’t needed.
