Something Is Very Wrong With Our Bard (dnd session recap)
we started off with may in the pit that she jumped into last session after STEALING MY SKULL which I’m still mad about. after falling for a while and hearing the echoing last words of everyone who died on the ship for a bit, she fell back into moneta’s office. he put a coin on her eye that made it start casting a beam of light in front of her, and gave her sickles that I thought were pickles at first but they weren’t. moneta told her to “go cause some expensive funerals” and sent her back to the pit, where she met the ghosts of a human and some sort of bird kid. they were freaking out about a dead bellhop and said two stowaways had a picnic with the body, and one of them had a russian accent. may figured out that this must be constantine resurrected, and the ghosts led her to the body where the bellhop’s brain had been sucked out. which implies that constantine is on the ship with michael because mind flayers eat brains and shit.
to the ghosts’ horror, may began to spend a few hours ripping the skin off of the body to steal its bones. once she had the skull (and had gotten rid of the seal that had been put on the body to prevent ghost communication??) she used it to channel the bellhop’s ghost and asked her if she would like to be at peace. when the ghost said yes she smashed the skull AND the skull that she stole from me and turned the shards into a fucking BONE CROWN for herself, and the bellhop’s ghost started screaming like crazy. so it’s safe to assume that she was not at peace. may also fastened the rest of the bellhop’s bones to various places on her outfit and did some crazy evil magic shit to the other two ghosts and they also started screaming. the birds that had been living in her hair even got up and left because they didn’t like her vibes anymore.
back outside the pit, I met up with adder and x’anne again, and immediately pointed at her and yelled “WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE.” adder slapped me for the hair thing earlier and then a second time for throwing his sister into a pit, so of course I tried to bite him but missed. we went back upstairs and accidentally caught yet another performance by rocksune miku, followed by a guy named kiano who played the saxophone, did trapeze acrobatics, and made clones of himself that also played the saxophone.
he asked the audience for a volunteer and of course adder did not volunteer but was chosen anyway. kiano gave him like a really simple task to jump from the trapeze, but didn’t know about adder’s prior experience and got upset when he upstaged him. kiano tried to write it off as “beginner’s luck,” so I got mad and used minor illusion to draw a dick on his face and periodically made it bigger throughout the show.
adder pointed it out to kiano after the show, so kiano got mad and homoerotically dragged him up to the captain. the captain, being adder’s sister, just let him off and kiano stormed out angrily. that’s when ivy noticed me and pulled her gun on me because I didn’t have a ticket. adder jumped in front of the gun right as I tried to eldritch blast ivy, so I accidentally hit him instead and that was really funny to me. I managed to convince ivy that I didn’t have a ticket because may had stolen it, so she made an intercom announcement requesting may’s apprehension.
while I had ivy’s attention I went ahead and asked if there were any goblins on the boat, because I wanted to find risky dan, but she said that the only goblin on board was an old lady named alleinada yksir. we figured out that that was just “risky adaniella” backwards, so I found her in the cantina and confronted her.
I (ooc me, kape) learned about risky dan six months ago, when our dm told me adelaide had a cellmate on the prison ship she drowned on. apparently the lore is that the ship capsized after it was hit by a whale, and risky dan took the opportunity to escape by blowing another hole through the wall of the cell. one of the wooden planks hit adelaide in the head and knocked her out, and the last thing she saw was risky ran riding two dolphins like water skis into the mouth of the whale yelling “WE’RE GETTING RISKYYYY!”
needless to say risky dan immediately became my favorite npc, and I’ve been waiting so long for her to actually show up. but of course adelaide did not take the whole being cellmates thing well and wants her dead.
long story short I was trying to be discreet about it but very much stabbed her while everyone else was watching. luckily before I could get in trouble for stabbing an old lady she ripped the disguise off, revealed that her knitting project was actually a massive cannon, and shot a hole in the side of the airship. she seems to have a thing for blowing holes in ships.
this was about when may finished goring the bellhop’s body and exited the pit. she made her way to her room, and then to the furby’s skeleton child god that she’d brought onto the airship with her. she told it that she would make the world a better place once she had killed all the cruel people. light yagami shit I guess. then the child said its first words, which was something unrelated about cotton eye joe. may was very proud.
she left her room and appeared in the hallway near us looking extremely fucked up and menacing. the three ghosts from the pit were following her in agony, and she was still absolutely covered in bones and blood. we all rolled initiative. may is almost definitely going to be targeting me alongside risky dan, adder left to go get x’anne, and conrad is….conrad so my only ally in this fight is mailliw with his um penis crushing machine? it’s probably fine.
dededos
prguitarman
romaincrisis
gummygunk
discoholicmusic
stormborns
dailybridgerton
