K

Mostly just trying to get over some issues, using this as a... journaling, of sorts. Idk man I don't really have any other outlets

[ivegotissuesman]

Why does my mother keep dating/sleeping with the WORST fucking people possible 😭

She's complaining about the guys she's been with but like, she's stating very OBVIOUS red flags and talking about how she's still going out with them???

Like ah yes, the man who actively tries to manipulate you and other women into sleeping with or dating him, and not spending any time with you, is the PERFECT fwb. Right. Totally.

Holy shit man

[ivegotissuesman]

Hey so is it normal to feel like im slowly losing all emotional controll and becoming more and more like an emotionally eregulated child?

Some days I just want to kick and scream and rip out my out hair and make my parents hate me for simply existing more than they already do

[ivegotissuesman]

Unsent Letter - A vent post

Names have been censored for anonymity sake

Content Warnings: Abusive parenting, slurs (tr*nny, f*g, censored r word, I can say 2/3 of those which is why r is censored) suicidal (ideation? Thoughts? Contemplations?) , thoughts of being worse, mention of drugs, smoking

I may have missed something, so read at your own discretion, or don't. I don't care anymore.

*Also please not before reading this, I highly doubt I will do anything to harm myself or seriously injure myself or others. If I genuinely think of going through with something, I will reach out to the necessary people.

To L, the “mom” you are

3/29/26 2:50-3:30 am

You consistently complain about me not being adult enough, or refusing to, “grow up,” and how I'm never good enough, and how I need to stop being so childish.

The truth is your right. I am childish. But this is the effect of your awful treatment of me.

All throughout my, “childhood,” if we could even call it that, you forced me to be the adult in multiple situations.

I was forced to basically, no, not “basically”, straight up raise my younger siblings, and be one of the primary caretakers when I was a child myself.

I was forced to clean up after you and Z, still am really, and now that I'm too old for you to control you're forcing RO to do your cleaning for you because you're too lazy to get off your game for more than a few hours a day.

I was forced to stay with RH and clean up after her, and basically become her caretakers during the “small amount of time” we were there, even though she was supposed to be OUR babysitter. Instead, we were forced to do her laundry, clean her kitchen and bathroom, rub her feet, scrape scabs out of her ears, and DOZENS of other things that you refuse to accept as reality. All while she was blowing smoke in our faces because she couldn't go without smoking a cigarette for more than a few fucking hours, or at least cracking a window open, even though she knows and knew I have severe asthma and VERY WELL COULD HAVE DIED, and was basically hit boxing us in her car or apartment.

I was forced to listen to you complain and vent about too many things that I should not have had to hear.

I had to hear you scream your head off about how much you hate RA, and how she's just a “tranny living in faggot town” and how she's such an awful “father” for being distant, which yeah, she isn't a great parent, I'll agree with that, but the way you've acted is disgusting.

I've had to hear you swear and cuss out both RA and Z, and how you've called both of them, and people they were with, awful slurs and derogatory terms.

I've had to hear you and Z arguing because he cheated and you refused to just leave him, and how even when you were broken up you didn't want him dating other girls.

I've had to deal with you screaming at me for being a “filthy tranny”, a “faggot” and a “r****d” because you refuse to get me tested and diagnosed with a learning disability that YOU gave me due to your shitty genetics, and how it makes it so, FUCKIGN DIFFICULT, to keep my grades passing.

Especially when I'm so fucking depressed I want to kill myself because of the way you're treating me.

You have made me so suicidal that even when my day is great, and I have a great day at school, I DREAD coming home, coming back to you, you who keeps fucking using me for your personal labor.

You have made me so depressed and suicidal I have considered slitting my wrists and running into a spyche ward and forcing them to bring me in or else I'd kill myself.

You have made me want to be a bad person, just so I can get rid of my problems by making them someone else's.

You make me want to be so mentally ill I'd need to be constantly sedated and drugged up just to feel like my problems are justified.

And you know the worst part?

I still love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. I want to hate you so badly that I lash out at those I genuinely care about and make awful, stupid mistakes, and yet, I can't force myself to genuinely despise you.

How funny.

[ivegotissuesman]

Honestly I should probably go to bed I might just be angry cuz I'm tired

[ivegotissuesman]

Unsent Letter - A vent post

Names have been censored for anonymity sake

Content Warnings: Abusive parenting, slurs (tr*nny, f*g, censored r word, I can say 2/3 of those which is why r is censored) suicidal (ideation? Thoughts? Contemplations?) , thoughts of being worse, mention of drugs, smoking

I may have missed something, so read at your own discretion, or don't. I don't care anymore.

*Also please not before reading this, I highly doubt I will do anything to harm myself or seriously injure myself or others. If I genuinely think of going through with something, I will reach out to the necessary people.

To L, the “mom” you are

3/29/26 2:50-3:30 am

You consistently complain about me not being adult enough, or refusing to, “grow up,” and how I'm never good enough, and how I need to stop being so childish.

The truth is your right. I am childish. But this is the effect of your awful treatment of me.

All throughout my, “childhood,” if we could even call it that, you forced me to be the adult in multiple situations.

I was forced to basically, no, not “basically”, straight up raise my younger siblings, and be one of the primary caretakers when I was a child myself.

I was forced to clean up after you and Z, still am really, and now that I'm too old for you to control you're forcing RO to do your cleaning for you because you're too lazy to get off your game for more than a few hours a day.

I was forced to stay with RH and clean up after her, and basically become her caretakers during the “small amount of time” we were there, even though she was supposed to be OUR babysitter. Instead, we were forced to do her laundry, clean her kitchen and bathroom, rub her feet, scrape scabs out of her ears, and DOZENS of other things that you refuse to accept as reality. All while she was blowing smoke in our faces because she couldn't go without smoking a cigarette for more than a few fucking hours, or at least cracking a window open, even though she knows and knew I have severe asthma and VERY WELL COULD HAVE DIED, and was basically hit boxing us in her car or apartment.

I was forced to listen to you complain and vent about too many things that I should not have had to hear.

I had to hear you scream your head off about how much you hate RA, and how she's just a “tranny living in faggot town” and how she's such an awful “father” for being distant, which yeah, she isn't a great parent, I'll agree with that, but the way you've acted is disgusting.

I've had to hear you swear and cuss out both RA and Z, and how you've called both of them, and people they were with, awful slurs and derogatory terms.

I've had to hear you and Z arguing because he cheated and you refused to just leave him, and how even when you were broken up you didn't want him dating other girls.

I've had to deal with you screaming at me for being a “filthy tranny”, a “faggot” and a “r****d” because you refuse to get me tested and diagnosed with a learning disability that YOU gave me due to your shitty genetics, and how it makes it so, FUCKIGN DIFFICULT, to keep my grades passing.

Especially when I'm so fucking depressed I want to kill myself because of the way you're treating me.

You have made me so suicidal that even when my day is great, and I have a great day at school, I DREAD coming home, coming back to you, you who keeps fucking using me for your personal labor.

You have made me so depressed and suicidal I have considered slitting my wrists and running into a spyche ward and forcing them to bring me in or else I'd kill myself.

You have made me want to be a bad person, just so I can get rid of my problems by making them someone else's.

You make me want to be so mentally ill I'd need to be constantly sedated and drugged up just to feel like my problems are justified.

And you know the worst part?

I still love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. I want to hate you so badly that I lash out at those I genuinely care about and make awful, stupid mistakes, and yet, I can't force myself to genuinely despise you.

How funny.

[ivegotissuesman]

Can my parents stop being bums like omg

First they send us to the store for their energy drinks and nuggets for dinner, even though it is PHYSICALLY EXCRUCIATING for me to walk any form of distance, but oh no apparently that doesn't matter, physical pain or exhaustion only matters when it's my parents who are having issues! Even though my 'step-dad' has a perfectly good car and can drive their and back in like, 5 fucking minutes but hed rather play Skyrim or whatever the fuck it is that they're playing

And now I have to clean the hallway, the hallway which I don't even use other than for walking though when leaving the house, because I keep my shoes, coats, and general mess in my room, instead of fucking DESTROYING the hallway like my 'parents' do

Like Jesus Christ my 'mother' does not need to leave dozens of coffee cups or random letters scattered amongst the hallways floor, and she certainly doesn't need the dozen or so pairs of shoes she has and never wears.

Not to mention she already has two rooms for her belongings, the side room in the hallway that is literally fun or random shit that she refuses to sell, and then her bedroom. And she even has some stuff in my 'step-dads' and room, so like, 2 ⅓ rooms. And yet I'm the one who keeps getting punished for a messy room or for the fuckass hallway

Fml

[ivegotissuesman]

Why the FUCK do we have a two hour delay it snowed like, two inches

I live in NYS not fucking Texas like c'mon guys we're better than this

[ivegotissuesman]

Maybe if I get lucky I'll be able to convince my mom to stay home another day because I do NOT want to walk to school and then home again at the end of the day

That shit will suck, and I don't want my feet to feel like they're exploding again

[ivegotissuesman]

Why the FUCK do we have a two hour delay it snowed like, two inches

I live in NYS not fucking Texas like c'mon guys we're better than this

[ivegotissuesman]

I say "Yeah I don't really want to go on birth control or hormone fixers at the moment because all they really do are make me have a normal period and make it so I can get pregnant, and I have no wants or intentions of having either of those so theirs not much of a reason to do that at the moment other than maybe weight loss, and theirs not even the full guarantee thatll happen, and could backfire and make it worse, or even completely change my personality if we get really unlucky"

And she hears " Oh I dOnT wAnNa TaKe HoRmOnE mEdS bEcAuSe I aM a FiLtHy Tr*nNy AnD i DoNt WaNnA lOsE mY tEsToStErOnE "

Ugh

Can someone just kill one of us already so I don't have to deal with her

[ivegotissuesman]

If you figure out this is me IRL and that you know me from school, DNI and block me.

That being said,

This projects was a fucking mistake omg

So for context, I'm in a science class where one of the projects is to make a life-sized dog cutout of a chosen dog breed. And I chose husky.

This was a mistake

The paint is taking so long to dry, the due date is TOMORROW and I need to get this done NOW but the only paint I have is shitty acrylic paint that is so watery and the colors are awful, and pastel guaoshe (guash? Gauosh? How tf is it spelled) So now I have to speed paint this over night, probably pull an all nighter again, and then I'm gonna end up passing TF out in my history class AGAIN because of this bullshit

Ugh

Like yes I know this was of my own making but agfhhf I hate this

Worst part though, is that if I'm not done by tomorrow, I have to call my mom and tell her I didn't do it in time and to remind me when I get home, and one of two things is going to happen:

A. She's gonna be pissy that she had to remind me and that I at my big age should be able to remember on my own

or B. She just completely forgets herself and I'm at risk of forgetting as well because my mother refuses to get me tested for ADHD and ASD even though I have SO MANY of the symptoms and fit the diagnostic criteria according to the DSM5 for at least autism :/

So fuck my life I guess

[ivegotissuesman]

Had a bit of a breakdown over my future and ended up spiraling and doing math to try and figure out how long it would take to buy a house in NY with 2025 prices

(This does not account for tax, inflation, living expenses, or any other similar things. Its basically a "If I made minimum wage and did nothing but save how long would it take to own a house?)

(Prices are not exact and are rounded up or down depending on full #)

[ivegotissuesman]

Tell me why genetics chose me to be it's test subject for all this fuckery

You're telling me, that not only do I have bad eyesight, an astigmatism, PCOS, Asthma, and suspected autism--

--But now I have to be checked for nerve issues/damage, neurology/brain issues, EDS, POTS, Gastro-Intestinal issues, Arthritis, Carpal-Tunnel, Cushing's, Migraines + chronic headaches--

--And I've been tested for things in the past like diabetes, thyroid problems, & endometriosis--

AND THERE MIGHT BE MORE THINGS WRONG WITH ME!???? LIKE HI HELLO WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO??

[ivegotissuesman]

I actually look like a guy when the fuck did that start happening what

[ivegotissuesman]

Thing I wrote down in Google docs a few minutes ago

Could not be bothered to re-write it here

Honestly might be over reacting because I'm so fucking tired but like, I feel like that's proving my point

Also for more context she's having me room from my current room to a different room that's like, two feet away from my current one

Why? No fucking clue

Im also probably sleep deprived because of this whole mess so I'm not exactly thinking straight