sainthood.com/have_i_suffered_enough_yet
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sainthood.com/have_i_suffered_enough_yet
Eye of the Devil (1966)
The most important thing I said and that I want to expand on is the richness of your actual life. It is the only thing that makes any of this work sustainably.
The women who are genuinely compelling and genuinely believable in any context are not the ones who have constructed the most elaborate fictions. They are the ones who have lived so broadly and so fully and accumulated so many real experiences across so many different worlds and circles and situations that they have an almost inexhaustible reservoir to draw from. When you have actually been in the room, actually traveled to the place, actually known the person, actually navigated the situation, you do not really have to construct anything. You just select from what is real and present it with the framing that serves you and that is an entirely different skill from lying and a significantly more powerful one.
This is why I am so insistent about actually living. About going places, about inserting yourself into situations, about collecting experiences and people and stories. Every real experience you accumulate becomes material. Every person you actually know becomes a reference. Every place you have actually been becomes a detail you can reach for under pressure with the ease and the specificity that only genuine memory produces.
The person who has actually spent time in a specific city does not describe it the way someone who researched it does (tbt to the era of fake city reviews) The person who has actually moved through a certain social world does not talk about it the way someone who read about it does. Real experience has a texture and a specificity and an ease of recall that fabrication cannot replicate under sustained scrutiny and the people worth impressing are almost always the ones scrutinizing most carefully.
Context and framing applied to a genuinely rich and genuinely lived life is the most powerful tool available. You are selecting which parts of what is real to present and in what light and that requires judgment and intelligence and self knowledge rather than the specific kind of sustained anxiety that pure fabrication demands. It is also sustainable in a way that invention is not because you are never more than one follow up question away from something you actually know.
So instead I’d recommend you build the kind of life that generates stories naturally and continuously and you will never be at a loss for material that is both compelling and completely defensible because it actually happened to you.
this June we're getting hot and letting no one hit
Clarice Lispector’s law school graduation by the University of Rio de Janeiro, 1943.
i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it
hope i am not just a blog to you but a false prophet as well
me analyzing my favorite characters:
More on achieving the doll look?
I use Miranda Kerr as the reference because she sits in that rare space where the face reads as naturally doll-like without ever tipping into artificiality or editorial distortion. Her features aren’t extreme in any direction, they’re balanced and soft: large but not exaggerated eyes, a rounded midface, gentle bone structure, and a kind of open, approachable expression that still photographs with clarity and polish. She’s the closest real-world example of the “human doll” effect as something that comes from proportion and harmony rather than styling or trend-driven makeup.
Skin first, always. Antioxidants, green juices, a supplement stack I take seriously, fresh air, consistent exercise, actual sleep. This is the foundation everything else is built on and there are no shortcuts that hold up over time. Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen every single morning without exception. Vitamin C and other vit deficiencies, 50g collagen peptides in your coffee, chlorophyll drops in your water. Actual sleep, which I'm terrible at and pay for in ways I notice immediately on my face. This is the foundation and there are no products in the world that compensate for a destroyed foundation.
Find your closest celebrity match and study them. Not just their red carpet looks, I'm talking about their candids, their off duty moments, the specific way their MUA handles their particular bone structure. If you have monolids, you are studying Sora Choi and Yoon Young Bae and the specific liner techniques used on them. If you have a low contrast face you are studying how Gemma Ward's team softens and lifts the upper third of her face to balance it. If you share my specific features you already know who you are studying and it isn't who you'd expect. This saves years of trial and error and gives you a blueprint that is already proven to work on a face that shares your architecture.
Makeup philosophy is light sculpture. A silky foundation like the Armani Luminous Silk as your base, something to replicate that specific quality of skin it creates. Bright NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer under the eyes blended into nothing, then a very precise Byredo or Charlotte Tilbury highlight on the very tip of the nose, the highest point of the cheekbones and just underneath the brow arch where the bone catches light naturally. The Hung Vanngo tutorials I've referenced before are the closest visual I can give you to what I mean. It should look like your face is lit from within, not highlighted.
The concept of strategic weight distribution is real and worth understanding for your specific body. I am not talking about being underweight, I am talking about understanding that certain body composition ratios create specific visual effects and that you can engineer your training to produce them. High and round glutes with a narrow waist and visible but not bulky shoulder definition creates a specific silhouette that reads as both athletic and feminine and that photographs a very specific way. Tracy Anderson's method for the specific kind of lean, elongated muscle tone that doesn't add bulk is worth studying even if her cult following is slightly unhinged about it.
A well-circulated body. Regular exercise, sauna, 15k steps a day, cold showers especially during the hotter months. The treatdmill for 45 minutes after every single workout, levels 6 through 9, because the circulation it creates in your skin is genuinely different from any other cardio and I notice it immediately when I skip. Lymphatic drainage massage at least twice monthly. Facial massages and Gua sha to snatch, define and lift your face.
Eyes are mostly genetic. But Ardell Demi Wispies or the Kiss So Real as your everyday lash if you want the doll eye effect without it reading costumey. I would not recommend tightlining the waterline in a white / nude or flesh tone to make the eye appear larger from within unless you are sure it looks natural, but you always draw a very thin line of black along the upper lash line extended slightly downward at the outer corner rather than upward, which rounds rather than elongates. Korean beauty tutorials on this are genuinely the best resource. Pony's old tutorials specifically and the more recent work of Risabae. The goal is open, wide, fresh.
Blush blush blush. Rare Beauty Soft Pinch liquid blush in Grateful or Joy depending on the season and apply it higher and sheerer than feels comfortable. If your face is longer, sweep it across the midface horizontally (think the way Jisoo from BP's team places her blush, shortening the face and creating that compressed, doll-like proportion). If you need lift, concentrate it at the absolute highest point of the cheekbone and blend upward toward the temple.
Brows. If you have dark hair, go at least one to two shades lighter than you think you should and keep the shape soft and slightly rounded rather than angular. I use Anastasia Beverly Hills in Taupe or Soft Brown depending on the season, filled very lightly with a spoolie to soften, then the Benefit Gimme Brow in a lighter shade to set. If you have lighter hair, a slightly deeper brow adds definition without hardness, think the way RHW's brows frame her face, defined but never harsh. Symmetry above everything, use a brow mapping technique before you ever touch them if you haven't already.
The V-shaped jawline. Botox in the masseter muscle if you clench your jaw or have any squareness at the lower face you want to soften. This is the most underrated cosmetic procedure available and the one I see the least discussion of in these spaces. It slims the lower face over time, reduces tension headaches, and stops the grinding that destroys your teeth and ages the lower third of your face faster than almost anything else.
Tretinoin at the highest percentage your skin can tolerate, obtained however you need to obtain it, started as early as your early twenties. I don't care what your dermatologist's conservative prescription is. The girls who look genuinely ageless in their late thirties started this in their early twenties and that is not a coincidence. Curology if you need a prescription routed around your reluctant GP, or certain international pharmacies if you know how to navigate them. The Kate Somerville Retinol Moisturizer is a fine gateway but eventually you need the real thing and you need to commit to it fully.
The nose situation. Yuhann on TT has the most precise and intelligent contouring tutorials I have ever seen and she will change the way you understand your face entirely. Specifically her nose contouring videos, which are face-shape specific and genuinely surgical in their precision. Beyond that you know your options (Turkey) and you know your situation and I'm not going to spell it out .
Do not get buccal fat removal. I cannot stress this enough and I will keep saying it. The girls getting it done at 24 are going to be devastated at 34 and there is nothing that can be done about it. A doll face is a young face, neoteny is the entire premise and you are voluntarily aging yourself to look older when you will get older anyways. Retain every babyface feature you have with your entire being.
For lips: the rosebud effect that Korean beauty has essentially perfected is achieved through a combination of overlining specifically the cupid's bow to create roundness (not the outer corners, the bow), a lip lift if you have significant space between your nose and upper lip, and filler placed centrally rather than at the sides. The result should be a cherry, slightly pouty lip that looks slightly too perfect. The Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask in Berry every single night without exception for the texture and softness.
Lenses I personally don't use and wouldn't recommend for this specific aesthetic because they tip the entire thing into the obviously constructed rather than the eerily perfected. The second you can clock the lens the illusion breaks. Think about the difference between how Tzuyu from TWICE reads versus someone wearing obvious circle lenses. One is genuinely unsettling in the most beautiful way and one just looks like a costume. You want the former.
It only really works if you have a naturally doll-like face and most people just don't. I've had girls in my life try and recreate the look almost to the letter and it just doesn't translate because they don't have the proportions, the features, the specific things that make it work. Even if they got the exact same work done it would look completely different, because this isn't a formula you pour into any vessel and get the same result. I've spent years cultivating a very specific mix that flatters my particular features and reflects my standards of beauty and you're going to have to do the same for yours.
This only works if you have the face for it and most people don't, and I say that not to be cruel but because I've watched girls try to replicate this look with the exact same products and the exact same work and it just does not transfer. The proportions have to be there , the specific ratio of eye size to face size, the particular quality of the bone structure underneath. I've cultivated a very specific version of this aesthetic that works for my features specifically and you are going to have to find your own version that works for yours, which may look completely different and that's entirely the point. A doll isn't real. It is the idealized version of a human being pushed to its absolute limit, which is not a healthy thing to fixate on, but since my face genuinely reads that way I allow myself the indulgence.
More on achieving the doll look?
I use Miranda Kerr as the reference because she sits in that rare space where the face reads as naturally doll-like without ever tipping into artificiality or editorial distortion. Her features aren’t extreme in any direction, they’re balanced and soft: large but not exaggerated eyes, a rounded midface, gentle bone structure, and a kind of open, approachable expression that still photographs with clarity and polish. She’s the closest real-world example of the “human doll” effect as something that comes from proportion and harmony rather than styling or trend-driven makeup.
Skin first, always. Antioxidants, green juices, a supplement stack I take seriously, fresh air, consistent exercise, actual sleep. This is the foundation everything else is built on and there are no shortcuts that hold up over time. Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen every single morning without exception. Vitamin C and other vit deficiencies, 50g collagen peptides in your coffee, chlorophyll drops in your water. Actual sleep, which I'm terrible at and pay for in ways I notice immediately on my face. This is the foundation and there are no products in the world that compensate for a destroyed foundation.
Find your closest celebrity match and study them. Not just their red carpet looks, I'm talking about their candids, their off duty moments, the specific way their MUA handles their particular bone structure. If you have monolids, you are studying Sora Choi and Yoon Young Bae and the specific liner techniques used on them. If you have a low contrast face you are studying how Gemma Ward's team softens and lifts the upper third of her face to balance it. If you share my specific features you already know who you are studying and it isn't who you'd expect. This saves years of trial and error and gives you a blueprint that is already proven to work on a face that shares your architecture.
Makeup philosophy is light sculpture. A silky foundation like the Armani Luminous Silk as your base, something to replicate that specific quality of skin it creates. Bright NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer under the eyes blended into nothing, then a very precise Byredo or Charlotte Tilbury highlight on the very tip of the nose, the highest point of the cheekbones and just underneath the brow arch where the bone catches light naturally. The Hung Vanngo tutorials I've referenced before are the closest visual I can give you to what I mean. It should look like your face is lit from within, not highlighted.
The concept of strategic weight distribution is real and worth understanding for your specific body. I am not talking about being underweight, I am talking about understanding that certain body composition ratios create specific visual effects and that you can engineer your training to produce them. High and round glutes with a narrow waist and visible but not bulky shoulder definition creates a specific silhouette that reads as both athletic and feminine and that photographs a very specific way. Tracy Anderson's method for the specific kind of lean, elongated muscle tone that doesn't add bulk is worth studying even if her cult following is slightly unhinged about it.
A well-circulated body. Regular exercise, sauna, 15k steps a day, cold showers especially during the hotter months. The treatdmill for 45 minutes after every single workout, levels 6 through 9, because the circulation it creates in your skin is genuinely different from any other cardio and I notice it immediately when I skip. Lymphatic drainage massage at least twice monthly. Facial massages and Gua sha to snatch, define and lift your face.
Eyes are mostly genetic. But Ardell Demi Wispies or the Kiss So Real as your everyday lash if you want the doll eye effect without it reading costumey. I would not recommend tightlining the waterline in a white / nude or flesh tone to make the eye appear larger from within unless you are sure it looks natural, but you always draw a very thin line of black along the upper lash line extended slightly downward at the outer corner rather than upward, which rounds rather than elongates. Korean beauty tutorials on this are genuinely the best resource. Pony's old tutorials specifically and the more recent work of Risabae. The goal is open, wide, fresh.
Blush blush blush. Rare Beauty Soft Pinch liquid blush in Grateful or Joy depending on the season and apply it higher and sheerer than feels comfortable. If your face is longer, sweep it across the midface horizontally (think the way Jisoo from BP's team places her blush, shortening the face and creating that compressed, doll-like proportion). If you need lift, concentrate it at the absolute highest point of the cheekbone and blend upward toward the temple.
Brows. If you have dark hair, go at least one to two shades lighter than you think you should and keep the shape soft and slightly rounded rather than angular. I use Anastasia Beverly Hills in Taupe or Soft Brown depending on the season, filled very lightly with a spoolie to soften, then the Benefit Gimme Brow in a lighter shade to set. If you have lighter hair, a slightly deeper brow adds definition without hardness, think the way RHW's brows frame her face, defined but never harsh. Symmetry above everything, use a brow mapping technique before you ever touch them if you haven't already.
The V-shaped jawline. Botox in the masseter muscle if you clench your jaw or have any squareness at the lower face you want to soften. This is the most underrated cosmetic procedure available and the one I see the least discussion of in these spaces. It slims the lower face over time, reduces tension headaches, and stops the grinding that destroys your teeth and ages the lower third of your face faster than almost anything else.
Tretinoin at the highest percentage your skin can tolerate, obtained however you need to obtain it, started as early as your early twenties. I don't care what your dermatologist's conservative prescription is. The girls who look genuinely ageless in their late thirties started this in their early twenties and that is not a coincidence. Curology if you need a prescription routed around your reluctant GP, or certain international pharmacies if you know how to navigate them. The Kate Somerville Retinol Moisturizer is a fine gateway but eventually you need the real thing and you need to commit to it fully.
The nose situation. Yuhann on TT has the most precise and intelligent contouring tutorials I have ever seen and she will change the way you understand your face entirely. Specifically her nose contouring videos, which are face-shape specific and genuinely surgical in their precision. Beyond that you know your options (Turkey) and you know your situation and I'm not going to spell it out .
Do not get buccal fat removal. I cannot stress this enough and I will keep saying it. The girls getting it done at 24 are going to be devastated at 34 and there is nothing that can be done about it. A doll face is a young face, neoteny is the entire premise and you are voluntarily aging yourself to look older when you will get older anyways. Retain every babyface feature you have with your entire being.
For lips: the rosebud effect that Korean beauty has essentially perfected is achieved through a combination of overlining specifically the cupid's bow to create roundness (not the outer corners, the bow), a lip lift if you have significant space between your nose and upper lip, and filler placed centrally rather than at the sides. The result should be a cherry, slightly pouty lip that looks slightly too perfect. The Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask in Berry every single night without exception for the texture and softness.
Lenses I personally don't use and wouldn't recommend for this specific aesthetic because they tip the entire thing into the obviously constructed rather than the eerily perfected. The second you can clock the lens the illusion breaks. Think about the difference between how Tzuyu from TWICE reads versus someone wearing obvious circle lenses. One is genuinely unsettling in the most beautiful way and one just looks like a costume. You want the former.
It only really works if you have a naturally doll-like face and most people just don't. I've had girls in my life try and recreate the look almost to the letter and it just doesn't translate because they don't have the proportions, the features, the specific things that make it work. Even if they got the exact same work done it would look completely different, because this isn't a formula you pour into any vessel and get the same result. I've spent years cultivating a very specific mix that flatters my particular features and reflects my standards of beauty and you're going to have to do the same for yours.
This only works if you have the face for it and most people don't, and I say that not to be cruel but because I've watched girls try to replicate this look with the exact same products and the exact same work and it just does not transfer. The proportions have to be there , the specific ratio of eye size to face size, the particular quality of the bone structure underneath. I've cultivated a very specific version of this aesthetic that works for my features specifically and you are going to have to find your own version that works for yours, which may look completely different and that's entirely the point. A doll isn't real. It is the idealized version of a human being pushed to its absolute limit, which is not a healthy thing to fixate on, but since my face genuinely reads that way I allow myself the indulgence.
Eliseu Visconti Nu Féminin 1894
Burial Ground (1981)
Mia Goth for Miu Miu 2015