ives @ivesdotnet - Tumblr Blog

sainthood.com/have_i_suffered_enough_yet

When I wrote that post about how possessing things helps women build their identity, I saw many people commenting that identity cannot be shaped by material objects.

You know what? Notice how a man who possesses beautiful things is seen as a man of taste, an elegant man, a man who takes care of himself, someone who is cultured.

Women are always pushed to either shop for bad-quality items, buy less or not buy at all, partly because women are more likely to end up in structural situations with less money. I have rarely seen men being pushed to buy dupes or low-quality things. This world is made for women to either enjoy bad-quality items or no items at all.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a post to say that men cannot enjoy high-quality things, nor is it to create any rivalry. Men deserve good-quality things just as much as women do.

But when you really take a closer look, even your average simple guy with relatively inexpensive who loves nature and enjoys simple “activities” will buy high-quality hiking attire and would not see these expenses as “materialistic”.

If someone ever tells you that buying something that benefits you or holds importance to you makes you superficial or materialistic, that person would probably not want you to take good care of yourself. Being materialistic as a woman is a revolution. It is a threat to the status quo.

everything111014

I was waiting to meet up with friends and I went on a long walk and saw this beautiful door

qadarpriestress

I cannot overstate how important it is for women to possess things, whether material or immaterial. Let it be your favorite dress, bottles of perfume, a piece of jewelry, linen bedsheets, books, knowledge, degrees, work experience, connections, hobbies, a secret garden that belong to you alone.

Build a life that is unmistakably yours. Form your identity. Explore and refine your taste. Know what moves you, what inspires you. Be your own muse, go to shopping malls and smell new perfumes/try the clothes on instead of getting your inspiration online. A woman without a strong sense of identity risks losing herself in this world.

I remember my mother once saying that she had "nothing." That sentence has stayed with me. Many women were robbed of their identity whether by marrying the wrong man or by being reduced solely to the roles of wife and mother. They were never truly given the opportunity to explore their womanhood in all its depth.

If you are feeling lost in your womanhood, just start to cultivate your taste. Read foreign literature. Treat yourself according to your budget (for instance try to understand what you really enjoy in fashion and you really don’t need to buy anything ) . Explore new hobbies. Invest in your education and your future. If your circumstances allow try new occupations, develop new skills, travel, create, remain curious.