@iwannab - Tumblr Blog

Weekend's at his place suck. You are supposed to relax on weekends, destress from the horrors of school, find peace and recharge so you are ready to face the coming week. But when I'm forced to go to his house, the two weekend days are the equivalent of ten days of school stress. The worst part might be that when I come back, my mother has bought two pizzas which she can't eat because of her diabetes warning and I don't want to eat because I'm trying to actually take care of my fucking body, but oh no she got it at a good price, you know how she could have gotten a better price? Not buying it at all. I don't want it, she can't have it, who the fuck else is gonna eat it. I try to be helpful and she tries to spoil me when she can't afford it, she doesn't listen when I try to help and she puts her values in the stupidest and least progressive places. She and dad are the two worst stress factors in my life and I've never wanted to live alone or move out but god I hate living with either of them. I hate having to see them completely disregarded my efforts to be a good daughter. They'd be better off without me just the same as I'd be better off without them. I don't care if they love me they can't keep doing this. Just fuck life why don't you.

#4:48

My heart feels like it's going to explode

#4:50

I'm starting to understand what triggers my self-hatred: "You're weird." "You're crazy." "Shut up." That one look people always seem to give me.

#4:24

Self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred self hatred

#3:53

Hate myself

#7:14

Maybe I'm retarded

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