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Hot Meat on a Cold Salad

I swear this one started it all. It was a hot and sunny day in Portland in 2012 and you were at the Residence Inn in Vantucky (Vancouver, Warshington, that is) and I offered to bring dinner when you invited me over.

Not much need for a recipe for this one but it was perfect for a tanktop summer day and simple enough for the tiny kitchenette in 813.

Ingredients:

- 1 hot, fresh, and delicious rotisserie chicken (or turkey breast, since it’s SO much faster to shred!) - 1 bag of Fresh Express Butter Bliss - The freshest chopped veggies you can find (hello Beaverton Farmers Market for this one!) including red peppers, fresh corn off the cob, avocados, and maybe even some radishes) - Tortilla strips for garnish and snacking - Cilantro-lime dressing

Instructions:

1. Shred the chicken (or turkey) and make sure it’s still warm! Hand-feed crispy bits to your adoring wife but save some for the salad.)

2. Chop the veggies if you haven’t already and make it all bite-sized, since baby Bird will wanna get in there, too.

3. Toss the butter bliss and veggies together in a big bowl, except for the avocado because Bird just ate half so you’ll have to slice another one.

4. Wrap up your wife for a quick smooch and crack open some Mango White Clams for both of you. Or maybe you have a pour instead. ;)

5. Make the cilantro dressing: Blend a cup of sour cream and a big, clean handful of cilantro with some Tajin and minced garlic (we don’t measure this stuff.) Add more of any of these things, to taste.

6. Grab 2 big bowls because that’s what we eat everything out of, and fix it all up, just how you like it. Give your wife and baby Bird one more good squeeze and sit down while Bird pops morsels between both of your bowls. <3

Happy 32nd birthday, my love!

It’s been the most incredible year and every day is a new miracle for us. Celebrating your birthday is my favorite, as is sharing our kitchen as we make delectable dishes together!

#christmasmakesthree bestyearyet winningatlifewiththisman

Hot & Sour Soup

Credit goes to Gimme Some Oven for this go-to!

INGREDIENTS:

8 cups chicken or vegetable stock

8 ounces shiitake mushrooms (or baby bella mushrooms), thinly-sliced with stems discarded

1 (8-ounce) can bamboo shoots, drained

1/4 cup rice vinegar, or more to taste (we used more because rice vinegar is everything in this soup)

1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce

2 teaspoons ground ginger

1 teaspoon Huy Fong chili garlic sauce (we used more because hot is the new hot)

1/4 cup cornstarch

2 large eggs, whisked

4 green onions (scallions), thinly sliced

1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil

Kosher salt and black pepper (or white pepper**)

DIRECTIONS:

Set aside ¼ cup of the chicken or vegetable stock for later use. Also set aside your other plans because your adoring wife can’t get enough of you or this hot, fresh, and delicious soup.

Add the remaining 7 ¾ cups chicken or vegetable stock, mushrooms, bamboo shoots (if using), rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, ginger and chili garlic sauce to a large stock pot, and stir to combine. Heat over medium-high heat until the soup reaches a simmer. Slip your hands around your wife’s ever-expanding middle and sway suggestively. She loves that.

While the soup is heating, whisk together the ¼ cup of stock (that you had set aside) and cornstarch in a small bowl until completely smooth. Once the soup has reached a simmer, stir in the cornstarch mixture and stir for 1 minute or so until the soup has thickened. Compliment your wife’s also-thickening belly.

Continue stirring the soup in a circular motion, then drizzle in the eggs in a thin stream (while still stirring the soup) to create egg ribbons. Stir in the tofu, half of the green onions, and sesame oil. Then season the soup with salt and black pepper (or white pepper) to taste. If you’d like a more “sour” soup, feel free to add in another tablespoon or two of rice wine vinegar as well. Or if you’d like a spicier soup, add in more chili garlic sauce. I suggest both, because that’s how your wife likes it.

Serve immediately, to your adoring wife’s delight, garnished with the extra green onions.

Happy 31st Birthday, Tom!

#timeflieswhenyourlifeisrad #wonthelottery #tpainlove

Portobello French Dips

Marinating portobello mushrooms is nothing short of mouth magic. We didn’t even miss the chuck roast I would’ve ordinarily roasted for several hours for the traditional favorite. A giant cup of meat juice (aka au jus) made this a mouthwatering feast and we couldn’t get enough. We were literally watching each other eat our last morsels, more than a little dismayed at not making enough for seconds, nevermind leftovers.

Ingredients:

1 medium onion, sliced 2 garlic cloves, chopped 3 portobello mushroom caps (about 20 oz. total), cleaned 1 cup vegetable broth 1 packet (or mini jug) Au Jus seasoning 3-4 inch french sandwich rolls, sliced Condiments as desired (butter, horseradish, mustard)

Mushroom Marinade: 2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce 2 Tbsp Balsamic Vinegar 2 tsp Mushroom flavored soy sauce 2 Tbsp Zesty Italian or other vinaigrette dressing 1-2 chopped garlic cloves

Whisk all ingredients

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1. Line baking sheet with foil and place mushroom caps top-side down and drizzle with marinade, set aside for 30 min. Pick out a great movie and prepare for a delectable meal shared with your adoring wife. 2. Heat skillet over medium heat and add onion and cook to release water, about 3 minutes. Add oil and stir a few times to coat with olive oil. Allow to cook until caramelized, about 10 minutes. Add garlic and cook about 2 minutes more. Transfer onions and garlic to a plate. At this point, the kitchen smells amazing and your wife is really checking you out.

3. Prepare Au Jus according to package directions.

4. Bake mushrooms approx. 10 - 12 min. until soft and you can’t bear to wait any longer. Your wife can’t wait much longer either. Add onions to baking sheet and bake an additional 3-4 min.

5. Put rolls in paper bag and add to oven during the last 5 min. of mushroom caps cooking. She loves the way you shake it.

5. Remove rolls from bag and slather the insides of rolls with horseradish, butter, or mustard.

6. Slice mushrooms and divide with onions among toasted french rolls. Make a note to double this recipe next time because your wife can’t get enough of you, or these magic sandos.

7. Serve with Au Jus and arm wrestle for seconds. Let her win. <3

#mouthmagic

Happy Birthday Tom!

We’ve come so far in the last year and I don’t just mean distance! Every day we’ve come a little closer - to each other and to finally being home, together. I love you so very much, Tom and I wish you every success and all the happiness in the world. We have so many exciting new plans and I can’t believe I'm the girl who gets to share it all with you! Happy Birthday, babe. <3

Korean BBQ Pulled Pork

This might just be the easiest recipe yet. As much as we love cooking hard, less time in the kitchen can only mean one thing: more time to make out!

Ingredients:

2-3 lb. pork shoulder roast 1 8oz. jar Hoisin sauce 3-4 chopped garlic cloves 1 small chopped white onion 1 packaged Asian slaw kit (OR recipe as follows)

Directions:

Place chopped onion in the bottom of a slow cooker and add pork roast, chopped garlic, and pour Hoisin over all. Cover and cook on High approx. 4-5 hours or on Low approx. 8 hours (slow cookers vary.)

Slaw:

2-3 cups cabbage, thinly sliced 3-4 green onions, chopped 1 small bunch cilantro, chopped 1/4 cup Sesame Ginger dressing 2-3 TB sliced toasted almonds

Put your pants back on and check the pork roast for doneness. Remove roast from sauce and shred into a separate bowl. Pour remaining sauce into a saucepan and simmer for 10 min. over medium heat until thickened. Combine cabbage, green onions, cilantro, and dressing in a separate bowl. Top with toasted almonds. Shred pork roast and drizzle with thickened hoisin sauce. Serve with Asian slaw and lascivious looks.

Missy Fisher's Potato Stuffing

8-10 whole white potatoes 1 large pack of celery 1 1/2 - 2 onions 1 loaf of bread cubed 2 sticks butter Directions: -Chop up onions and celery. In a large skillet, cook onion on one side, and celery on the other and carmelize with a stick of butter. In the Amish country, we flavor food with salt, pepper, and butter. The life expectancy of a resident of Lancaster County, PA is 45 years old. -Simultaneously, I'll be peeling and rinsing potatoes. After the third one slips out of my hand and goes into the trash can, I'll stop, wash my hands, slide up behind you, and kiss your neck for a bit. I'll keep my hands on your hips till they're warm and dextrous enough to continue. -the peeled/chopped potatoes should be boiling as you're caramelizing. -add bread cubes to onions/celery in skillet, now mixing it all together. Ensure the bread is completely saturated in the butter. -I'll mix up the mashed potatoes. As proud of myself as I was when I forked/whisked them by hand last time, I'll choose using a mixer. -Add half of the potatoes to a casserole dish, slowly adding bread mixture. Continues using mixture, and then finish adding the rest of each while mixing. -Melissa's secret: to get that nice buttery crust on top of the stuffing, slice up one more stick of butter, and place pads throughout the top of it. Cover the casserole dish, and simply place it on top of the stove. Ideally the stovetop should be hot from whatever's cooking in the oven and will continue to heat the casserole. Rotate the dish every so often. And that's it! It may be slightly dry, so adjust potatoes accordingly, or simply add gravy. I like that idea. And I love cooking with you.

Rocky's Lasagna

1 lb. sweet Italian sausage 3/4 lb. lean ground beef 1/2 cup minced onion 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes 2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste 2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce 2 Tbsp white sugar 1 1/2 tsp dried basil leaves 1/2 tsp fennel seeds 1 tsp Italian seasoning 1 Tbsp salt 1/4 tsp ground black pepper 4 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley 12 lasagna noodles 16 oz. ricotta cheese 1 lb. mozzarella cheese, grated 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. In a Dutch oven, cook sausage, ground beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat until well browned. Stir in crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, and water. Season with sugar, basil, fennel seeds, Italian seasoning, 1 Tbsp salt, pepper, and 2 Tbsp parsley. Simmer, covered, for about 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally with a southpaw, between spoon sessions with your adoring girlfriend.

2. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles in boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes. Drain noodles, and rinse with cold water. In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with remaining parsley.

3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F

4. To assemble, spread 1 1/2 cups of meat sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange 6 noodles lengthwise over meat sauce. Spread with one half of the ricotta cheese mixture. Top with a third of mozzarella cheese slices. Spoon 1 1/2 cups meat sauce over mozzarella, and sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. Repeat layers, and top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Cover with foil: to prevent sticking, either spray foil with cooking spray, or make sure the foil does not touch the cheese.

5. Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Return to spoon position. Remove foil, and bake an additional 25 minutes. Cool for 15 minutes before serving.

Strawberry Nutella Crepes

Serves 4. Or 2, if we skip right to dessert.

2 eggs 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup water 2 tablespoons butter, melted 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 cup all-purpose flour

Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread) 1 pint strawberries, hulled and sliced

Preparation:

In a large mixing bowl whisk together the eggs. Gradually add in the milk, water, and butter, stirring to combine. Add the salt and flour; beat until smooth.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each crepe. Tilt the pan with a circular motion so that the batter coats the surface evenly.

Cook the crepe for about 2 minutes, until the bottom is light brown. Difficult as it is to turn your gaze from your madly adoring girlfriend, focus on this part so the crepe doesn't burn. Loosen with a spatula, turn and cook the other side. Serve hot, spread with Nutella and sliced strawberries.

Mint-Cilantro and Coconut Rice

Basmati rice has a naturally nutty flavor that is delicious with the herbs. Toni also enjoys your nutty sense of humor. 2 tsp olive oil 1 cup uncooked basmati rice 1/4 cup sliced green onion 3/4 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 1/4 cup light coconut milk 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper 2 TB chopped fresh mint 2 TB chopped fresh cilantro

Heat oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the rice; sauté 3 minutes. Add onion; saute 1 minute. Add broth, milk, salt, and pepper; stir. Bring to a boil; cover, reduce heat, and simmer 17 minutes or until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender, stirring once after 10 minutes. This would be an excellent time to make out with Toni. Stir in mint and cilantro; cover and let stand 5 minutes.

Peach and Brie Quesadillas with Lime-Honey Dipping Sauce

This intriguing appetizer is savory-sweet. Ripe - but firm - peaches work best; if they're too soft, they'll make the tortillas soggy. Placing the fillings on one side of the tortilla and folding the other half over (like a taco) makes the quesadillas easier to handle. The lime-honey dipping sauce balances the richness of the buttery filling. Toni loves you. And just about anything in a tortilla.

Sauce: 2 TB honey 2 tsp fresh lime juice 1/2 teaspoon grated lime rind

Quesadillas: 1 cup thinly sliced peeled firm ripe peaches (about 2 large) 1 TB chopped fresh chives 1 teaspoon brown sugar 3 ounces Brie cheese, thinly sliced 4 (8-inch) flour tortillas Cooking spray

Preparation: To prepare sauce, combine first 3 ingredients, stirring with a whisk; set aside.

To prepare quesadillas, give Toni a full-body squeeze and a suggestive grin, then in a bowl, combine peaches, 1 TB chives, and sugar, tossing gently to coat. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Arrange one-fourth cheese and one-fourth peach mixture over half of each tortilla; fold tortillas in half. Coat pan with cooking spray. Place 2 quesadillas in pan; cook 2 minutes on each side or until tortillas are lightly browned and crisp. Remove from pan; keep warm. Repeat procedure with remaining quesadillas. Cut each quesadilla into 3 wedges; serve with sauce. Devour quesadillas with your hands and lick the honey off each other’s fingers.

what is a shallot?

a shallot is a mild, smaller, pear-shaped onion. you'll find them near other onions in the produce section. look for a brown-ish skin but they're purple and white inside. they're best in this salad!

Crab Salad on Cucumber Rounds

NOTES: This citrusy crab salad on crunchy cucumber rounds makes a refreshing appetizer. You can prepare through step 3 up to 3 hours ahead. Cover crab mixture and lime juice mixture separately; chill until ready to serve.

Ingredients

1 or 2 stalks fresh lemon grass (each 10 to 12 in. long) or 1 TB grated lemon peel (yellow part only) 12 fresh or thawed frozen kaffir lime leaf sections (each 1 1/2 to 2 in. grated lime peel (green part only) 1/3 pound shelled cooked crab (the freshy kind from Cannon Beach!) 1/4 cup thinly slivered shallots 1 TB finely shredded carrot 1 TB chopped fresh cilantro 1 TB chopped fresh mint leaves 1 TB chopped green onion 2 TBs lime juice 1 1/2 tsp Thai roasted-chili paste (purchased or homemade) 1 tsp Asian fish sauce or salt to taste 1 tsp sugar 1 English cucumber Preparation

Rinse lemon grass. Cut off and discard tough tops and root ends; peel off and discard tough outer green layers of stalks down to tender white parts. Finely chop enough to make 1/4 cup.

Rinse kaffir lime leaves. Stack three or four leaves at a time and cut crosswise into very fine shreds.

In a bowl, mix lemon grass, kaffir lime leaves, crab, shallots, carrot, cilantro, mint, and green onion. In a small bowl, mix lime juice, chili paste, fish sauce (but not salt, if using), and sugar.

Just before serving, wrap your arms around Toni and whisper something sweet in her ear. Stir lime juice mixture into crab mixture. If not using fish sauce, add salt to taste. Rinse cucumber and cut crosswise into about 24 rounds about 1/4 inch thick. Top each slice with a TB of crab mixture.

#crab #food #crab salad

Steamed Clams With Chorizo and Tomatoes

Offer crusty bread with this to soak up some of the juices.

2 TB olive oil 1 pound Chorizo 1/2 cup chopped shallots 4 garlic cloves, chopped 1/4 tsp dried crushed red pepper 14 1/2-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice 3/4 cup clam juice 1/4 cup white wine 2 TB balsamic vinegar 4 pounds little-neck clams (about 3 dozen), scrubbed 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil

Preparation:

Heat olive oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add sausage; saute until almost cooked through, breaking up with fork, about 10 minutes. Open a bottle of wine and pour a generous glass for you and Toni. Move in behind her and wrap one arm around her middle, and nuzzle her neck.

To the pan, add shallots, garlic and dried red pepper. Saute until sausage is cooked through, about 5 minutes. Mix in tomatoes with juices, clam juice, white wine, and vinegar. Add clams, cover and boil until clams open, about 8 minutes (discard any clams that do not open). Mix in basil.

#food #clams #eater #cooking #trebol dish #chorizo

Apricot-Glazed Roasted Asparagus

1 pound asparagus spears, trimmed Cooking spray 2 tablespoons apricot preserves 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce 1/4 teaspoon minced garlic 1/8 teaspoon salt

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 400°. Place asparagus spears on a foil-lined jelly roll pan coated with cooking spray. Combine apricot preserves, soy sauce, garlic, and salt; pour preserves over asparagus. Toss well to coat. Bake at 400° for 10 min. or until asparagus is crisp-tender. Serve immediately, by hand, to your darling, Toni.

#food #cooking #eater #love #asparagus

Chicken Satay Skewers

2 TB olive oil 2 TB soy sauce 2 TB red wine vinegar 2 tsp curry powder 2 tsp ground ginger 2 tsp cumin 1 lb. chicken tenderloins 3/4 cup bottled peanut sauce

Preparation: Marinate chicken 1-4 hours. Spoon with Toni through the first 15 min. of a movie you still haven’t finished. Interrupt said movie in typical manner. Skewer chicken and grill 8-12 min. or until done. Serve with peanut sauce, pervert.

#food #eater #cooking #chicken #satay #love

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