omegaverse where o!oikawa meets his soulmate, but it isn't iwaizumi, his best friend, his roommate, his boyfriend, his alpha, his partner.
it happens when they're twenty, during a national intercollegiate volleyball tournament, when oikawa crosses paths with an alpha from a rival university during the semifinals and everything falls apart.
his heat hits him right there, and it's the most painful heat oikawa has ever experienced. he feels needles stabbing into his uterus over and over again, his glands swell and throb beneath his skin, his fangs burn, his chest tightens as if someone has wrapped an iron fist around his heart.
all he can smell is that alpha's scent, his tearful eyes search frantically for that tall, broad figure among the blurred shadows his omega and beta teammates have become as they try to help him. his blood pounds so frantically through his veins that it blocks out every other sound.
his alpha. oikawa's omega whines and begs for its true alpha. not even iwaizumi's presence or scent, when they finally find him and bring him into an empty locker room, calms him.
because iwa-chan isn't the person he's looking for, for the first time in twenty years, iwaizumi isn't the person oikawa wants.
it's horrible because for the next four days, nothing calms tooru, nothing satisfies him. he rejects everything, rejects iwaizumi, misses the match and the victory, and all that's left is an itch beneath his skin and an anxiety that gnaws at his bones.
on the fifth day, when his skin is flushed inside a ruined nest and every muscle in his body is completely stiff, when dark circles stain the skin beneath his eyes purple and his hair sticks up in every direction, when his mind is finally clear and his eyes open in horror, he realizes.
and the first thing he does is throw up. oikawa stumbles into the bathroom and barely reaches the sink before bringing up the little food he'd eaten that morning.
the sound alerts iwaizumi immediately, who rushes into the room thick with the pheromones of an omega who had felt completely helpless.
"tooru?!" he stops in the doorway, breathless and terrified, staring at oikawa now kneeling on the floor, crying as his bare shoulders shake. "what's wrong?!" he grips the doorframe tightly, his knuckles white and his face full of worry, anguish and guilt while oikawa remains on the floor, angrily wiping away his tears with the heels of his hands.
iwaizumi wants to touch him, but he's so afraid of startling him, of being met with that look that doesn't recognize him anymore.
"hajime" he whispers, his voice broken and devastated, lifting red, exhausted, tearful eyes toward him and it's enough for hajime to shove aside his fear and immediately kneel beside him. "this can't be happening, i couldn't even stand our nest," he murmurs, shattered. "it isn't our nest anymore." he sobs tears as hajime wraps his arms tightly around him, in a useless attempt to protect him from the world.
because to tooru, hajime is his soulmate, there is no room for anyone else, there is no one he feels more connected to, safer with, or more loved by. his omega purrs for him even outside of intimate moments, he calms immediately with only the smallest trace of his scent.
and now all of that connection, safety and love is beginning to crack.
"we'll get through this, tooru," iwaizumi murmurs against his temple, gently rocking him as he releases wave after wave of pheromones oikawa can no longer smell. "we'll get through this" he repeats, sounding more like he's begging and no promising.
they don't get through it.
day by day, it becomes harder and harder, it feels like trying to move through quicksand and it's worse for oikawa, who gives it everything he has, he really tries. but his body rejects everything about iwaizumi.
iwaizumi's touches only make him uncomfortable, his words are just words, his scent does absolutely nothing for him, his kisses taste like cardboard, his hugs are cages, his name on his lips sounds like a simple word and not 'tooru' with all the affection it always carried.
they can't even share a bed anymore. what used to be their favorite place where they made love, made laughter, whispers, promises, conversations, gossip, and silence, is now just another piece of furniture oikawa uses after rebuilding his nest while iwa sleeps on the sofa.
oikawa wants to tear off his skin, his heart, wants to claw at his scalp, his arms, his thighs, wants to pull out his hair, wants to scream until his lungs dry out and his vocal cords burst. he becomes obsessed with soulmates, with dynamics, with pheromones.
he searches and searches and reads and reads and goes around and around in circles and doesn't sleep and reads more and more and argues with hajime over and over again.
"have you lost your fucking mind?!" hajime snaps, staring at him in horror while oikawa glares back at him. "removing your uterus and glands?! are you even listening to yourself, oikawa?!"
"then what am i supposed to do?!" he shoots back, frustrated and angry and hurting and so tired. "i can't do this anymore, iwa-chan!" he drags both hands through his hair in desperation. "it hurts like hell that some part of me rejects you when i've loved you with everything i am and now it turns out i haven't, that there's some stranger out there who's my soulmate and my body only reacts to him and i don't understand this fucking joke!"
"the risks of that surgery are incredibly high! you're going to ruin your life and i refuse to let you!"
"my life has already been ruined ever since my omega stopped recognizing you, hajime!" tooru points at himself, fury burning through him while Iwaizumi looks at him with so much pain in his eyes.
hajime has tried everything too. he's spent nights researching, getting lost in blogs, papers, books, asking questions and trying only to feel like he's been throwing a die with no numbers on it over and over again and can't even leave the starting square.
because there's only one solution: oikawa has to meet his soulmate, fall in love and live happily ever after.
and when he says it out loud, tooru breaks in a panic attack that hajime can't calm the way he used to, that turns into rage that makes oikawa smashes a vase, then another one, flowerpots, glasses, and nearly breaks the apartment door when he storms out.
hajime ends up calling takahiro with trembling hands while chasing after tooru (who keeps hyperventilating, crying, raging) begging him to come because "i can't, makki, i can't do anything for him anymore."
oikawa needs two full days at makki and mattsun's apartment before he feels grounded again, before he searches for his soulmate online and sends that first message.
his alpha is so kind when they finally meet two weeks later, oikawa's omega blooms again in all its glory while oikawa feels so sickeningly happy he wants to cry until there's nothing left.
he's attentive, affectionate, and honest, he doesn't hold anything back, loves through little gestures and he's awkwardly sweet with words. he reminds him so much of hajime that it hurts like a gunshot wound.
oikawa makes an effort but he's emotionally numb. he smiles and it doesn't reach his eyes, laughs and there's no melody in it, speaks and listens just when it's necessary. inside of him, he's split in two and one half of him is completely shattered.
he only wants hajime, he doesn't want anyone else.
this isn't the life he wanted or imagined, it's the life his instincts force him to need and all he wants is for the day to come when he wakes up from this nightmare.
i wanted a little omegaverse angst with happy ending but the more i wrote the more it kept turning into angst lmaaaao
u can find me on my ao3, bluesky and this is my carrd and strawpage 🍉
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