I Watch Lasagna

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Jimmy Fallon, I love you more and more every day.

Saw this and had to share it.

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Mad Men and it's Mad Women

Thanks to Netflix, I finished Season 5 of Mad Men in two days. Not even exaggerating. I invest more time in TV than I do in human relationships. Again, not exaggerating.

What an amazing season. I absolutely love the Mad Women on this show and need to take a moment to comment on their character development.

PEGGY Love that Peggy’s first account as a copy chief is a cigarette company, just like Don’s first account on Mad Men (in the pilot). I hope to see Peggy rival Don as an advertising competitor for the same account in S6. Get it, girl! Was anyone just as sad to see Peggy go? Even though it was the right choice, it was hard to watch Peggy grow up.

SALLY Little Sally is slowly turning into her worst nightmare - her mother. In Season 5, Sally eavesdrops on Don and Megan’s argument after Betty tells Sally about Anna Draper.

If you call her, you’re giving her exactly what she wanted—-the thrill of having poisoned us fifty miles away. - Megan, in reference to Betty.

Sally then returns home and lies to her mother that Don and Megan only had good things to say about Anna Draper. The little lie tears Betty apart. Sally manipulated her mother the same way her mother manipulated her. Incestuous drama! This is probably the only series where an actor as young as Shipka gets exposed to social politics, blow jobs (??), and puberty.

BETTY I found Betty extremely un-relatable and uninteresting in Season 4. She was a mean, terrible mother and written in a complete 180 turn around that she was just unlikeable. Are you saying her only motivation for being a good mother and wife was Don? In Season 4, she was remarried, but still a BEEZE. She slapped Sally for cutting her hair? I mean, those emotional outbursts make for decent drama, but it also makes me despise Betty.

So, they made her fat in Season 5, which was….also kind of unbelievable, but an interesting take on her character. I never saw Betty as the type to let herself go, but apparently she is. I like that she substituted food with drama. Betty won’t rest until Don is unhappy. I think a very petty part of Betty believes that Don ruined her happiness and her perfect world, so he should be undeserving of happiness himself. I guess that will make her the ‘villain’ for Season 6.

BETH/TRUDY/PETE Is everyone crazy about crazy Beth? I honestly would prefer to see more of Trudy than Beth, but I suppose weekly episodes of Community makes it hard to use Trudy. I’m not so interested in seeing Pete have an affair as I am interested to see him try to land an account and fail. I was always more intrigued by his relationship with his parents (or his mother), and how he deals with his privileged background and the effects of his last name/Trudy’s last name. Come on, classism—show me what you got.

MEGAN Oh, Megan and Don are SO terrifyingly cute. I am afraid of anything going wrong, which means everything will go wrong. The moment I heard Don order his old fashion, I knew he was retracting into his old, cheating habits. I expect to see him cheat in Season 6, especially while Megan lands more and more gigs. Megan is a go-getter, and I don’t see her failing in her acting ambitions. Don will spend many nights alone while Megan’s career takes off.

That’s what happens when you help someone. They succeed and they move on. - Don Draper

It’s not just a reference to Peggy, it’s foreshadowing his relationship with Megan.

I can’t wait for Season 6!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Character of the Week Larry Middleman from Arrested Development l Bob Einstein

Hands down, my FAVORITE character in Arrested Development. I love everything about Larry Middleman or “The Surrogate”, as his baseball cap proudly displays. His professionalism is stripped of tone, bias, and emotion, which would be monotonous and boring with any other character on any other series, but never on Arrested Development. The great thing about Larry Middleman is that he’s a new character without needing to be fleshed out, motivated, or even given a back story. Larry changes everyone’s relationship with George, Sr, mending old wounds and restoring faith for a better kinship. What I learned most from The Surrogate was that everyone in the Bluth family seems to have daddy issues.

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"I don’t want things to brighten up. After the brutality of this episode—and the generally ominous tidings that seem to be lurking over all the characters this season—I think the only honest place to go is even further down. Hannah’s first book is turning into My Life on My Back, Ray is one hot doorman away from being homeless, and Marnie and Jessa have never been more lost. We ended last season in an ambulance, and I have a feeling we’re going to be in an even starker place next week. I say bring it on."

- Jeremy Broomer on Girls 2 x 9 "On All Fours"

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It's happening.

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“I have warned you to stay from men of my mind.” Gannicus

“You ask the impossible.” Sibyl

Sibyl is often pigeon holed as a damsel in distress, but given her upbringing with her abusive dominus and the fact that she has had no combat training, I think it’s completely realistic that she is a physically weak character. You can call her a damsel in distress, but her strength comes from within.

Sibyl’s strength rests with her deep faith and unwavering optimism. I think Gannicus’s feelings for Sibyl stem from her striking resemblance to Melitta, both physically and internally. Both characters have large, childlike eyes that beckon with a sweetness and tenderness. Sibyl and Melitta are characteristically innocent, which balances the show’s terrifying circumstances. The characters are so strong spiritually, a contrast for Gannicus who has no faith at all. In Season 2, Melitta often challenged Gannicus’s perspective and philosophy on life, as does Sibyl in Season 3. Melitta and Sibyl are characters with conviction, who are emotionally intuitive and extremely loyal.

“She was the rarest of women, a flower of beauty and compassion, in a world full of shit.” - Gannicus about Melitta

Wouldn’t that description fit Sibyl as well?

When I met Sibyl in Season 3, I instantly thought of Melitta. The way Gannicus stared at Sibyl, I knew he was afraid to love her. I saw Gannicus repress his feelings for Sibyl not only to protect her to but also to protect himself.

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Girls l On All Fours

I finally feel like we’re going somewhere, and it’s the end of the season. It’s Back did move the series forward with Hannah’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (the counting of eights on the 8th episode—yikes!) and Adam’s visit to Alcohol’s Anonymous, but I still wasn’t convinced that the charm of Girls was returning until I watched On All Fours. It reminded me of why Girls was unique in the first place.

After watching On All Fours, I had to ask myself: Are Hannah and Adam bad without each other or just bad for each other? I couldn’t tell if it was the absence of their relationship or the existence of their relationship that fueled their neuroses.

Hannah’s OCD is driven by several factors, including the stress of her new E-book and her deteriorating friendship with Marnie. Obviously, Adam plays a large role, but I wasn’t sure what role that was—lover, friend, or foe. Hannah engulfs herself in an emotional train wreck with Adam, a train in which she is both the conductor and the one who crashes it. In Season 1, she desperately sought Adam’s attention, despite his dismissive attitude and poor treatment towards her; then, as the tables turned and Adam starved for her attention, she left him. She even called the cops on him. She didn’t seem to feel any remorse or strong feelings for him, until It’s Back where she shares with her psychologist that she “can’t decide if he’s the greatest person in the world or the worst.” So, if Hannah herself wasn’t certain of her own feelings towards Adam, why was Adam’s phone call the straw that broke the camel’s back?

Probably for the same reason Adam returned to his fix, alcohol. Adam’s monologue in AA was very moving. It felt like a blog of static thoughts with no conclusion. He couldn’t understand why someone he cared so little for suddenly became a presence he longed for. She was unhealthy for him, in every way he was unhealthy for her.

Hannah and Adam have an incredible amount of self loathing. They were able to ignore their own neuroses with the company of each other, but neither Hannah nor Adam would be a health substitute for the OCD or alcohol. In fact, Adam’s undignified sexual requests, where he tells his Shiri Appleby to ‘get on all fours’ and ‘crawl to the bed,’ reminded me of Hannah’s retort to Patrick Wilson where she tells him to beg her to stay. Both characters are so dependent on displays of affection in order to feel validated, but their insecurities are so heavy that their displays of affection border on docile relationship fantasies. Hannah strikes me as someone who needs to be abused first in order to appreciate being appreciated and Adam has a nearly psychopathic need to dominate the women he sleeps with.  

The money shot was difficult to watch, but it again reminded me of the show’s raw power and Lena Dunham’s ability to capture the impulsive rollercoaster of human emotions. Girls, we’re back in business.

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Allison Williams adds lyrics to the Mad Men theme song. 

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Girls l One Man's Trash

I know I’m late to the party, but here’s my short review on One Man’s Trash.

David Haglund and Daniel Engber (Slate) have pinned One Man’s Trash as the worst Girls episode ever, but even Dan—err, I mean Daniel—has admitted that he would rather watch a displaced episode like One Man’s Trash than “one where, say, each character’s romance is nudged just a little further down the road to wherever.” Well put, Daniel.

Regardless of how we feel about the episode (love, hate, worship), there is a shared factor: we are talking about it.

I’m not going to get too specific because we all have our opinions about naked ping pong and lonely Patrick Wilson. I just want to talk about the Hannah Breakdown.

In her tearful and cringing breakdown, Hannah confesses to Joshua that she wants to be happy.

But does she? Isn’t there something about Hannah and her need to be extraordinary that makes her an addict to self destruction and self hatred? Think about her relationship with Adam, how she SUGGESTED a guy should punch her and then cum on the same spot, and her extremely low self esteem – “No one could ever hate me as much as I hate myself, okay? So any mean thing someone is going to think of to say about me, I've already said to me, about me, probably in the last half hour.”

The episode plays with the American Dream, identifying the cookie cut Patrick Wilson as Hannah’s way of achieving (social) happiness. In the bourgeois apartment with Dr. McDreamy, Hannah takes a moment and stares at Joshua, taking in the concept of relative normalcy. This would be her life; would she be happy?

She takes out Joshua’s trash. She leaves the apartment; she doesn’t look back. It seems that happy for Hannah isn’t so easy to define.

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"My boobs are loving unemployment. They don't have to go to boob jail everyday."

- Jess

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Character of the Week Rita Leeds from Arrested Development l Charlize Theron

Theron gives a remarkable and adorable performance as Rita Leeds. I was surprised that she alone didn’t save the series from getting canceled. Theron plays a MR-F (Mentally Retarded Female), whose stunted mental growth is mistaken by Michael (as with the rest of us) as very dry British humor. Her deadpan delivery, quirky sense of fashion, and literal rationale made for a unique and convivial character. I loved Rita Leeds, maybe even more than Michael Bluth did. The best part of Rita was that her character could have taken the series in so many different directions. She could have been a spy, she could have married Michael, she could have been Mr. F (as in a man, a satisfying confirmation for Gob and all of Gob’s jabs). Mentally-challenged Rita was probably the best angle – “maybe you’re not smart either. I didn’t know until they told me” --- but the possibilities and the potential of Rita gave Season 3 a burst of new energy.

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The Bling Ring - Sofia Coppola's latest film has a limited release on June 14. 

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Spartacus is a well-written show despite its rough start in the first season. The first couple of episodes were really difficult to get through; the writing was cheesy and the set up took forever, but now that I am three seasons in, I have to confess that it is one of the best stories on television.

Arguably, Spartacus can feel like a soft-porn with buckets of blood, but even I, a girl with a low threshold for gruesome effects, cannot tear my eyes away from watching the show. For most dudes, the obvious attractions of Spartacus are the awesome sex scenes and the well choreographed arena scenes -- but I’m not a dude so here are my selling points. Spartacus has history, politics, and strategic warfare. Like Game of Thrones, the audience develops a heavy investment in nearly every character (good guy or bad guy). On top of that, Spartacus is a tragic story of a slave’s rise to power and his journey to free all men and women.

With four episodes left, I’m slowly bracing myself for the end of Spartacus. The only light of fire keeping me going is the hope for a spin off.  Dear STARZ, please plan for a spin off with Julius Caesar. We may know how Caesar falls, but it would be interesting to watch his rise to power. Of course, as a loving and undying fan of Gannicus, we need to see Gannicus play an active role in a series with Julius Caesar, even if it is completely fictional.

Predictions for the next episode----

Mors Indecepta  – Translation? I’m assuming death deception. Spartacus develops a strategic game plan that causes the Romans to lose their upper hand.  Naevia will die, pushing Crixus to the edge. He confronts Spartacus and demands vengeance for Naveia’s death. This results in Separate Paths (Season 3, Episode 8).

Of course the question on every girl’s mind: WILL GANNICUS SHIP SIBYL? Hell yeah, he will.  

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Dustin Clare stars in a short film---

If you love Gannicus as much as I do, you'll love Dustin Clare in this short film, Kanowna.

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Forget Me Now – an unforgettable Arrested Development Episode

Arrested Development’s Season 3 pales compared to its past two counterparts, but the season definitely had some cogent episodes that deserve a shout out.

Case in point: Forget Me Now

Episodes 1 & 2 of Season 3 have a lot of plot holes that the writers filled with narration summaries. Forget Me Now is the first episode of the third season that I felt was up to par with the rest of the series. The introduction of Rita Leeds, Larry Middleman, and Bob Loblaw allowed for character development and therefore story development. With these new characters, the writers were able to create new recurring jokes or use past recurring jokes in a refreshing way.

The episode opens with the introduction of Bob Loblaw, a lawyer who is usually hired to replace the incompetent Barry Zuckerkorn. Bob Loblaw’s no-nonsense and amoral persona is the kind of blah-blah-blah we need to get George, Sr. out of his current predicament. After all, we are in Season 3 and the audience needs to know if George, Sr. is guilty or innocent and we also need action moving forward on that decision. Bob Loblaw’s “Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else saw” is the perfect legal style for the Bluth family. It is a refreshing start.

We also meet Larry Middleman, a hilarious “surrogate” for George, Sr. Larry is a total pro; he repeats George, Sr. word for word but his voice is completely empty of tone and style. Larry introduces himself to Michael with a firm handshake and friendly smile. It is the only moment we see Larry be Larry, but the tender exchange is short lived when George, Sr. chimes in with, “That’s right, you dumb bitch.” Larry’s presence at family functions reopens old wounds, such as Gob’s daddy issues.  It also changes the family dynamic, as a passive power struggle between Michael and George, Sr. ensues.

The episode takes us in so many different directions. It angles Rita as a British spy, giving her intrigue and giving the show a new synergy. Who doesn’t love ‘Wee Britain’? The characters also swap personalities. Michael’s family tries to do the right thing by throwing a ‘Welcome Rita’ party, but due to their inexperience with helping others, the family panics when Rita grows suspicious and roofies her. Michael, on the other hand, lies to Rita about having a family. The episode plays Michael as the bad guy and the family as the good guy, an interesting change of pace that concludes as a learning experience for all characters involved. The family is capable of doing the right thing; they’re just really bad at it. They should stick to selfish actions and white collar crime, but seeing the family attempt to help Michael is hilarious. It was less enjoyable to see our protagonist as the bad guy, but the experience brought Michael and Rita even closer.

It was also nice to see the touching scene between Gob and Michael. Gob plays up his big brother role and in a rare moment, gives Michael solid advice, or so Gob thinks. Michael returns to Rita to work things out and tell her everything about the family. This complete and honest disclosure puts the family’s legal status at extraordinary risk, considering that Rita might be a spy. It turns out to be another one of Gob’s “huge mistakes.”

The episode was more of a season premiere than Cabin Fever. It had new characters, new motivations, and fleshed out opportunities for new story lines. LOVE LOVE LOVE Forget me Not!

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Nice haircut, boys.

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Louis CK premieres April 13th - Oh My God.