Top tips of the DAY!

This is a page for the top tips that you might not find in everyday life (viewers discretion is advised) =D

[baconbroderick]

[baconbroderick]

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

If I have 11 ice cubes and you have 10 apples... Then how many pancakes can you fit on the roof??Purple, because aliens don't wear hats!

True... No wait false!!

[unlucky-artist]

[phon3y]

I laughed so hard I woke up my dad.

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

Hahaha!!!

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

Fogot about this.

This obviously didn't last long. Tip of the day, try last longer, bitches love when you last longer.

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

TOP TIP #5

DON'T TEXT TOMORROW!

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

TOP TIP #4

If your man beats you, tell Johnny all about it!! What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?? Nothing she has already been told twice. CONGRATULATIONS to Laur Laur and her woman beating, big huskey head on him fella!!! :L

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

I will no longer follow you because of "Top Tip #3". Rape is a CRIME of VIOLENCE. It is NOT a joke or something to make light of.

Making jokes and making light of serious situations is how some people cope and move on with the horrible things that occur in our ever decaying and dark word so i am sorry you see that way.

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

TOP TIP #3

You should never rape anybody unless you have a good reason to, like you want to have sex with a girl and she says no. I mean what are you supposed to do, not have sex with her?? pfft...

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

TOP TIP #2

If you are having a good night with a woman and you manage to persuade her to come back to you lair, do not take a shit on the mood by producing a packet of discount shop condoms. There is no bigger turn off, except for taking an actual shit in her general area.

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

TOP TIP #1

When you are planning to vaginally penetrate a female, trim your finger nails. If you are unable to trim your finger nails... go slowly and gently.

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, why won't my pancakes stick to the ceiling?

Well elizabeth, The answer is simple.. you need to put 3 apples on your face and an icecube in your bellybutton... or just use more flower in your dough.... or use sellotape. =D

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

where are you from? I am from Puerto Rico

IRELAND!!

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

ASK ME QUESTIONS!!!! please...

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

Oops.

Forgot about this! D=

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

You are terribly funny and clever. My daughter is an American going to University in the UK and the government is changing all the visa laws and will be kicking her out once she graduates. Will you marry her so that she may stay in the EU? Seeing as how our only real requirement for marriage (or any relationship in general) is a good sense of humor, you are more than qualified for the job. Thanks so much! - Your new mum-in-law xx

I am not ready for such a commitment! D=

[iwilltrytomakeyoulaugh-blog]

HAHA

Can you hear me?? NO its too dark!