Fake tales of Qinhuangdao.

From Qinhuangdao to Beijing and all the things along the way.

[j-hitch]

再见秦皇岛!

Last day in China and here are a few observations: Best way to get around a mountain town in Sichuan: Golf buggy Character which most resembles a dog: 点 Minutes spent supporting the Beijing Ducks before realising basketball wasn't for me: 47 Ticket tout of the year: Dragon Wang Colour of KFC chicken: Brown Favourite ex-Middlesbrough footballer, besides Yakubu, currently playing in China: Fabio Rochemback Most popular pizza type: Peach and dragon fruit Greatest challenge to the moral compass: Black Man Toothpaste Vaguest answer to the question "What's your favourite food?": Western food What's not being said on the street: Maybe the Diaoyu Islands do belong to Japan... Most overused/least understood expletive: Bell-end Most dour Scottish snooker player sighted in Qinhuanhdao: Stephen Hendry Average alcohol content of local beer: 3% Length of time some people can go without a bagel: 369 days See you soon Beijing!

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Shanghai Clouds

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HuaGuoShan We'd heard whispers of a wondrous, vigorous, even monstrous waterfall located in the depths of the mountains in a small village outside of Qinhuangdao. We decided to set out, on what happened to be the coldest day of the year so far (-18c), with a few of our friends and a small pup to investigate. Stopping off on the way for a good calory fueling, we found a simple little restaurant in the village where we demolished several plates of salted pork strips, sour vegetables, pancakes and a couple of beers for good measure. We dropped off the car and started the hike towards the mountains, with our feet unsteady on the icy rocks and our toes crystalising into stubborn blocks of ice. We passed many Chinese tourists, all of who seemed to be more interested in taking photographs of us than of the out-of-this-world surroundings, but they were friendly enough and after the smiles, peace signs and obligatory cries of "漂亮！" we were allowed to pass and be on our way. When we spotted the waterfall tucked away in its intimate cove, it was completely iced over and covered in clambering tourists, yet no less magnificent. It was absolutely enormous and was fixed into an incredible glacial teardrop until it plunged beneathe the snow at our feet. There was a lot of excitement as the Chinese tourists babbled, posed for photos and slid down the ice, all the while discarding crisp bags, lighters and miscellaneous shrapnel onto the floor. We decided to climb the long, tapering staircase that was clinging to the edge of the mountain so we could get a better view of the snowy landscape. Once we started climbing, the tourists packed up and headed back to their buses, leaving behind a sea of unwanted scraps which were quickly and efficiently swept up by the waterfall's on-site janitor. After he scurried away, we were left in a state of utter serenity as the snow-bathed land glistened before us and the only sound was the muted roar of the waterfall surging behind it's wintry glass chamber.

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Finally located the tea in China!

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Christmas in Shanghai

We arrived late on Christmas Eve and decided to go straight out and explore Nanjing Lu, the main shopping street.  It was amazing! Lights everywhere, tall buildings, huge Christmas trees and so much stuff going on.  We strolled around looking at the shops, bought gingerbread coffees, mint hot chocolates, sparklers and a beautiful rose from a tiny girl. Every alley you looked down was brightly lit up by colourful neon lights, packed with people bustling around and street vendors selling everything from chow mein to ear muffs. 

On Christmas day we woke up, opened our presents and then went out to explore the Bund.  It was really nice next to the river even though it was pretty windy and cold.  On one side of the water you could see all of the huge modern buildings like the Pearl Tower and World Financial Centre.  And on the other were really impressive buildings in Renaissance and Art Deco styles, the roofs littered with red flags.

Afterwards we went for Christmas dinner at a Greek restaurant which wasn't too far away and it was delicious! We had four starters and proper turkey, gravy and all the usual suspects.  We tried eggnog for the first time as well which we were very skeptical about but it was so tasty!

The rest of the trip was spent exploring Shanghai and eating as much foreign food as we could get our grubby little mitts on (Qinhuangdao's foreign cuisine mainly consists of McDonald's, KFC and the odd sushi bar.)  We had Thai, Mexican and a huge American style burger that was literally bigger than my head. Yum! Jamie had one of those horrific two-day hangovers after the Mexican though because, dangerously, it was two for one beers and margaritas. And I don't think the chocolate beer helped either...

We explored the Former French Concession where there are lots of really nice apartments and a really old section with traditional Chinese buildings and markets.  It was great strolling around and we got ourselves some bargains from the stalls.  Shanghai is really easy to get around, the subway is cheap and most of the streets are named after places in China.  We stayed near Beijing Lu so it was always easy to find our way back.  We even found Qinhuangdao Lu on the map although I doubt anyone ever ventures down there!

[j-hitch]

Life on the Road

The adventures began before we even arrived in Shanghai...

Jamie had ordered my present online and it still hadn't come on the morning of Christmas Eve so we were both really disappointed.  We had completely given up hope until two minutes before leaving for the airport, we got a phone call from a random Chinese person.  Jamie hung up the phone saying we didn't have time to work out what they were saying, but they called back again.  I thought it might be important so I answered and tried to work out what they were saying.  Fifteen minutes later and using up every Chinese word I knew, I managed to figure out it was a man from the post office who wanted to deliver the package and was just double-checking our address. Hallelujah! "When can you get here?!" I asked.  "Oh don't worry, very soon. Tomorrow afternoon is OK?" Noooo! Our plane was leaving in less than two hours. Finally we managed to explain that we could come to him in a taxi on the way to the airport and pick up the package.  He gave us the address for the Central Sorting Office and having no idea where that was, we grabbed our bags, ran downstairs and flagged the nearest taxi.

By this time, we had an hour and a half until our plane left but luckily, the post office was in the direction of the airport.  The driver was a little unsure of where to go so we hooked him up with our new pal on the phone and he gave him directions.  Finally, we found the huge sorting warehouse and pulled up to the entrance.  There was no one around so we tried to call the man but there was no answer.  Panicking slightly and only one hour until the plane left, we suddenly saw the man running out from the huge sorting machine waving the package in his hand and with a huge smile on his face.  Jamie ran out to meet him and sign for the package while I explained to the taxi driver that we now needed to get to the airport- fast.  "What the hell is in that package?" he asked. "A Christmas present of course.  Now step on it!"

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Foreign Food Store

So we popped into one of the local "western shops" today.  (It's worth pointing out that the entrance is down an alley next to the huge fish market which is always an adventure to swim down.)  All we wanted was an innocent stick of butter but before we could pay, we were made to sit down on rickety stools by the counter while they tried to explain something incredibly complicated to us in Chinese. We had absolutely no idea what they were talking about so they whipped out their PC and started to translate what they were saying to us.  After waiting ages (it takes pretty long to type in Chinese) we finally got the gist of it.  They told us they are going to be holding some kind of an event and they wanted us to come by and try their strange western recipes and that it would be on TV.  They made us give them our phone number and said they are going to call us when they know exactly when this "event" will happen.  It sounds rather ominous although who would pass by the opportunity to become famous on Qinhuangdao TV?!

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Beijing Duck Restaurant

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The Great Wall

We've been a bit lazy with the blog lately.  Mainly because we've been having a really good time and have had little to moan about!

We went to the Great Wall with some of our friends a few days ago which was amazing! It only costs 20p on the bus to get there and took about half an hour.  We went to a cute little bao zi restaurant first in the middle of the old town by the wall. (Bao zi are little balls of steamed bread filled with meat and vegetables and you eat them with vinegar and they're so tasty!) So after we'd stuffed ourselves with a ridiculous amount of them, we headed for the Great Wall.  We went to a really nice part which was so quiet, we only saw about 4 other people there the whole time.

What I didn't realise though was that when we were asked if we wanted to go climb the wall, we actually had to climb the wall.  It was sooo steep and some steps were about half the size of me and required a significant amount of scrambling to get up.  We also had to literally climb up and over the wall on a rickety metal ladder and then climb down another one on the other side.  It took me a few minutes to muster up the courage... in the end I had to pretend I was Jack Bauer from 24 and then I was up there like a whippet! 

However the wall then split into two paths: the safe one and the alarmingly hazardous one.  I opted for the part of the wall that would guarantee my survival whereas Jamie chose the more treacherous route.  We split into separate groups and decided to meet at the small monastery at the top. Admittedly, the way Jamie chose was a lot more scenic however the crumbling stones and sheer drops would have been too much to handle!

The monastery at the top was really nice and there was a man there who let us in to have a look around.  He wasn't a monk but he lived there with his dog and I managed to ask him the name of his dog in Chinese which was a definite achievement! We started to head down just before it got dark and accepted a lift off a strange man back to the bus stop for a small fee.  When in Qinhuangdao...

[j-hitch]

The Landslides

Formerly a bridge

On the way back to Chengdu, our bus came to a halt whilst we were in one of the tunnels which stretched through the mountains. We weren't best pleased that our journey was being prolonged - probably just because some sheep were blocking the road.  After a little while, we realised that we were in Wenchuan, the epicentre of the 2008 Sichuan earthquake!  After crapping our pants for a good hour or so the bus began to creep out of the tunnel.  Would there be any survivors beyond the safety of the mountain?  We could see a crushed vehicle in the distance and a few boulders scattered about the place.  It was just a wee landslide.

[j-hitch]

Tibetan superstar singing into a potato on a chopstick

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Auld Man Cratchit

Jamie and Cratchit outside the comb factory

The legend of Cratchit dates back to the early 1400s.  We'd heard rumours that a crabby old man roams 'The Middle Kingdom' preying on young westerners. He just so happened to book a ticket on the same bus we were on...

As soon as Cratchit had clocked me taking a bite out of my apple, the sprightly fellow ran over wielding his trusty pocket knife.  It was four inches in length and hand-crafted by Tibetan monks in the valley of Jiu Zhai.  He passed the knife over and insisted that I carve my fruit into small pieces.  Due to my incompetent knife skills, he impatiently snatched it back and returned to his seat muttering some colloquial obscenities.

Throughout the rest of the trip, he kept asking us how much we earned.  Each time, we just pretended we didn't understand as he was gesticulating with a few bum-notes from his wallet. He even tried to translate it into English on his iPhone!  What the hell was HE doing with an iPhone!?

Whilst this 80 year old man had an abundance of technology at his fingertips, we were scraping by on one bar of signal and unable to connect to the internet.  We had to get our hands on that iPhone.  We considered mugging the old tyke but remembered his knife.

[j-hitch]

Huanglong to Maoxian

Having already taken over 700 photos of lakes and mountains, trekking up another ten thousand footer wasn't really in our itinerary.  No bother, there was a cable car all the way up.  The Chinese Highlands are nice and that, but we noticed a rip-off of KFC at the bottom and wanted to get down there pronto to sample some of the local cuisine.  With the thought of the Chinese Colonel Sanders serving us Zinger Tower meals at the bottom, we weren't going to let any tourists get in our way.  We decided to swerve the queues for oxygen masks and opted for our lungs instead.  We legged it to the bottom taking three pictures along the way. 1h59min: a personal best.  A battalion of Bruce Li, Mao, Jackie Chan and a few other mythical oriental characters couldn't have slowed us down.  Too bad the chicken still had blood running through it's veins :(

One of the three snaps we took at Huanglong

The festivities continued back on the tour bus.  The pink-ladies (who all bought the exact same pink jacket as Kara) were an hour late, again!  The rest of us were getting agitated and groans of dissatisfaction greeted them on their arrival.  We hit the road and after a while one of the late-comers in the seat just in front started spewing everywhere.  Then her pal joined in for good measure.  Five hours of altitude sickness is exactly what you need on the mountain terrain.  Auld-man Cratchit was the the first to voice his concerns over how all of this would interfere with his scheduled meal times.  Just shove a Pot Noodle in his gob and let him get a bit of shut-eye.  A few minutes passed before the next incident.  Possibly the most unsympathetic lady on the planet decided to belt out a frenetic tune on the karaoke.  It was a decent rendition of a timeless Chinese classic and the subtle wretching noises in the background really instilled a flavour of hope into the rest of us.

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Tibetan Village in Jiuzhaigou

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The most horrific toilets in China

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Jiuzhaigou

Mount Zhayizhaga 4,440 m

Nuo Ri Lang Waterfall

Panda Lake

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The Tour Bus

Our tour-bus was due to leave to leave Chengdu at 7am to go to Jiuzhaigou.  We were first on and praying that we'd be the only ones making the 10 hour trip.  Those dreams were dashed within minutes and the bus became rammed full of middle-aged Chinese tourists.  Out of the 30 people on the bus, not one person could speak English, not even the tour guide.  

Luckily she had a translator on her phone so she could type out all the important information we needed.  However, the translation was far from accurate as, alarmingly, one of them read: "The bus is in a ditch, see you in the morning."

Everyone on the bus was so nice to us though, saving us seats and giving us rancid Chinese snacks which we had to end up hiding.  These included vacuum packed cow innards, strange "sweets" and a whole cucumber.

The bus made several stop offs during the journey which added to the mystery as we had no idea where we were since we couldn't understand the tour guide.  Old Man Cratchit, the crankiest man on the bus, would frequently yell "BU YAO" (that he didn't want to go) and remained on the bus while the rest of us traipsed around comb factories, bamboo shops and rock markets.  I think he made the right choice.

The bus also came equipped with a microphone which, of course, meant karaoke... Everyone on the bus enthusiastically volunteered to sing until we were the only ones left.  Reluctantly, we were forced to go the front of the bus (as we were swerving around foggy corners at 60 miles an hour 3,000 meters up a mountain) to sing.   We decided to sing Wonderwall, a British classic however, it sounded atrocious! After our 15 second rendition everyone clapped and cheered us anyway (probably just to be nice).  I blame the accoustics.