just two queer ladies working from home

Plus the cats. Because there have to be cats.

[stealingpotatoes]

wishing all christmas-celebrating cat owners a very Good Luck with keeping your tree upright <3

[emwheezie]

Salad

[wn-incorrect]

Ava: Hey, do you think I could fit in the dryer? Lilith doesn't think I could.

Camila: I don't know, let's-

Beatrice: Let's, and I cannot stress this enough, not find out.

[j2qlwfh]

My wife made the mistake of sending this post to me last night. She knows who I am. The consequences are on her.

Still can’t stop wondering about it…

[j2qlwfh]

Public Service Announcement to all my handy queer ladies out there who think they’re about to show off to their partner by fixing something: Did you know there are different glue cultures in the world? 

If not then pay attention, because someday this could save your finge-  I mean… dignity? Yup, dignity. Let’s go with that. 

[j2qlwfh]

Now in case the term ‘glue cultures’ wasn’t clear, what I mean by that is the basic, primary way someone thinks about/uses glue.

For example, I build things, mostly out of wood. So when I think of glue, I think of specialty glues. I also think of the very hands on process where you pour wood glue on your project, and then spend the next few minutes diligently working it into every nook and cranny. It can be a full body experience. Your fingers are the main instrument, sure, but no matter what brilliant plan of attack you start out with, 9 times out of 10 you still somehow end up on your knees, hands dripping and clothes ruined. All in the service of reaching that last, elusive…

[j2qlwfh]

Sorry, I got a little distracted with… things. But I’m back now, and here to continue my story.

Which is about glue. And the importance of making sure your partner takes the time to thoroughly educate you before setting you loose. Especially in cases where you ask for something that will work on plastic, and the product they give you is a mysterious substance labeled: ‘Super.’

[j2qlwfh]

And that is how I ended up giving my fingers an interesting, kind of bumpy, ribbed texture for a few days. 

Thank you and good night.

[j2qlwfh]

Public Service Announcement to all my handy queer ladies out there who think they’re about to show off to their partner by fixing something: Did you know there are different glue cultures in the world? 

If not then pay attention, because someday this could save your finge-  I mean… dignity? Yup, dignity. Let’s go with that. 

[j2qlwfh]

Now in case the term ‘glue cultures’ wasn’t clear, what I mean by that is the basic, primary way someone thinks about/uses glue.

For example, I build things, mostly out of wood. So when I think of glue, I think of specialty glues. I also think of the very hands on process where you pour wood glue on your project, and then spend the next few minutes diligently working it into every nook and cranny. It can be a full body experience. Your fingers are the main instrument, sure, but no matter what brilliant plan of attack you start out with, 9 times out of 10 you still somehow end up on your knees, hands dripping and clothes ruined. All in the service of reaching that last, elusive…

[j2qlwfh]

Sorry, I got a little distracted with… things. But I’m back now, and here to continue my story.

Which is about glue. And the importance of making sure your partner takes the time to thoroughly educate you before setting you loose. Especially in cases where you ask for something that will work on plastic, and the product they give you is a mysterious substance labeled: ‘Super.’

[j2qlwfh]

Public Service Announcement to all my handy queer ladies out there who think they’re about to show off to their partner by fixing something: Did you know there are different glue cultures in the world? 

If not then pay attention, because someday this could save your finge-  I mean… dignity? Yup, dignity. Let’s go with that. 

[j2qlwfh]

Now in case the term ‘glue cultures’ wasn’t clear, what I mean by that is the basic, primary way someone thinks about/uses glue.

For example, I build things, mostly out of wood. So when I think of glue, I think of specialty glues. I also think of the very hands on process where you pour wood glue on your project, and then spend the next few minutes diligently working it into every nook and cranny. It can be a full body experience. Your fingers are the main instrument, sure, but no matter what brilliant plan of attack you start out with, 9 times out of 10 you still somehow end up on your knees, hands dripping and clothes ruined. All in the service of reaching that last, elusive...

[j2qlwfh]

Public Service Announcement to all my handy queer ladies out there who think they’re about to show off to their partner by fixing something: Did you know there are different glue cultures in the world? 

If not then pay attention, because someday this could save your finge-  I mean... dignity? Yup, dignity. Let’s go with that. 

[j2qlwfh]

My partner just sneezed and instead of saying “bless you,” I meowed at her. It then took me a few seconds to realize my mistake, so clearly something is either very wrong with my brain, or I’ve reached a new level of gay. 

I’m voting for the gay. 

[spaceshipsarecool]

I just saw Mary Poppins Returns and I have to say I… I never though an attraction to Mary Poppins was something I would have to contend with in life but here we are.

[j2qlwfh]

I mentioned this to my partner and she patted me on the head, told me what a good little lesbian sub I was, and started smirking. 

Confiding in her may have been a mistake. 

[j2qlwfh]

Or not? Maybe? There are too many disaster lesbian emotions flying around for me to think straight. I mean, how am I supposed to react when she wraps her arms around me, pulls me in close, and softly whispers “Mary Poppins” in my ear? 

[spaceshipsarecool]

I just saw Mary Poppins Returns and I have to say I… I never though an attraction to Mary Poppins was something I would have to contend with in life but here we are.

[j2qlwfh]

I mentioned this to my partner and she patted me on the head, told me what a good little lesbian sub I was, and started smirking. 

Confiding in her may have been a mistake. 

[j2qlwfh]

What you WANT Santa to believe versus what actually happened…

[j2qlwfh]

Twas the night before Catmas,

And all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a mouse…

[j2qlwfh]

Just kidding…

[j2qlwfh]

Have yourself a meowy little Catmas,

Make the Yuletide gay…

…

Hang a shining star above the highest bough,

And have yourself a meowy little Catmas now!

Same house, same tree, same song. 

Very different cats.

[j2qlwfh]

What you WANT Santa to believe versus what actually happened…

[j2qlwfh]

Twas the night before Catmas,

And all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a mouse…

[j2qlwfh]

Just kidding...

[j2qlwfh]

What you WANT Santa to believe versus what actually happened…

[j2qlwfh]

Twas the night before Catmas,

And all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a mouse...

[j2qlwfh]

What you WANT Santa to believe versus what actually happened…

[j2qlwfh]

When you spend the day worrying instead of working because a certain kitten that will remain unnamed — *cough* Agent Thunderpuff *cough* — decided it would be a good idea to eat some string. 

A lot of it.

And now you have to watch his poop.

[j2qlwfh]

Two feet. Two whole, stringy feet. That’s how much was inside our kitten, and trust me, finding out the exact measurement was not the romantic ‘working from home with my fianc-wife’ day you might think.

The one consolation is that we now know Agent Thunderpuff’s future in the theater is assured. It takes skill and dedication to reenact the parts of both the Lady and the Tramp at the same time. How many other animals are up to that task?

[j2qlwfh]

Actually… probably quite a few, so scratch that.  

There is no consolation.

[j2qlwfh]

And to conclude, this is the face of a self-satisfied, impressed by his own dapperness, string-eating kitten. One who, in the time since my last post, has already tried to consume three envelopes, several trays of cookies, and an entire christmas tree with the lights already on.

Great Cat-God in the Sky, please help us all.

[j2qlwfh]

When you spend the day worrying instead of working because a certain kitten that will remain unnamed — *cough* Agent Thunderpuff *cough* — decided it would be a good idea to eat some string. 

A lot of it.

And now you have to watch his poop.

[j2qlwfh]

Two feet. Two whole, stringy feet. That’s how much was inside our kitten, and trust me, finding out the exact measurement was not the romantic ‘working from home with my fianc-wife’ day you might think.

The one consolation is that we now know Agent Thunderpuff’s future in the theater is assured. It takes skill and dedication to reenact the parts of both the Lady and the Tramp at the same time. How many other animals are up to that task?

[j2qlwfh]

Actually… probably quite a few, so scratch that.  

There is no consolation.

[j2qlwfh]

When you spend the day worrying instead of working because a certain kitten that will remain unnamed — *cough* Agent Thunderpuff *cough* — decided it would be a good idea to eat some string. 

A lot of it.

And now you have to watch his poop.

[j2qlwfh]

Two feet. Two whole, stringy feet. That’s how much was inside our kitten, and trust me, finding out the exact measurement was not the romantic ‘working from home with my fianc-wife’ day you might think.

The one consolation is that we now know Agent Thunderpuff’s future in the theater is assured. It takes skill and dedication to reenact the parts of both the Lady and the Tramp at the same time. How many other animals are up to that task?