The last 8 months I lost many things, even myself. I went into a downwards spiral of depression. I kept trying to get out of it, get on my feet and keep going but there was to much going on too much grieving. Grieving over the loss of a relationship, a family member, friendships, I even had to greive myself, my weight gain, my state of life, because everything was changing so much I knew i couldn't stop it. I knew what I had to do to move on, I knew what steps I had to take, but the thing I lacked was motivation, and a outlet. I'm very independent, I live on my own and do everything on my own, got the car, the place, the money, I generally come across very positive and happy. But there was a point at the start of this year where I didn't leave my house for 2 months. I just loathed, to the point that suicide was on my mind (I would never act on it, but I questioned why I had those thoughts, curious)
I'm not writing this post to complain about my issues or show awareness to something or other, or so that someone will talk to help me. I'm writing this post cause me and many other people got stuff were going through. Everyone has good days, everyone has bad days. Im writing this just cause.
I know i'm a strong person, I know this is temporary and I know i'm going to bounce back even stronger than I ever have cause everything is an experience or a lesson you can learn and thrive off of. But it's not going to happen today, it's not going to happen tomorrow, it's just going to happen when it happens and i'm going to feel so good about it.
