I don't need luck, I've got you.

star wars trash

[sadclowncentral]

"if mushrooms are the superior lifeform that really calls the shots on this earth, why haven't they destroyed us yet?" listen to yourself. have we as humans gotten rid of every mountain on the planet just because we are smarter than big rocks? no!! because they don't pose a threat to us. sure some people die rock climbing or skiing and that's tragic but mountains aren't dangerous to us as a global society. do you see where i am going with this. it's your misplaced hubris that makes you think that humankind is worth destroying to a mushroom. we are a part of the mundane landscape on the surface. we pose no threat to the mycelian era. humble yourself

[robotmango]

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

[awed-frog]

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

[robotmango]

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

[kmtarchive-deactivated20201028]

WHAT’S YOUR CALLSIGN? IT’S ——— ROGUE. ROGUE ONE.

[gizkasparadise]

what would the opening crawl be tho

[littledeadling]

“I don’t need luck, I have you!”

[cahssian-deactivated20170522]

storytime at the resistance

someone: jyn erso did that-

poe dameron, pulling out cassian andor’s biography, the scrapbook he’d been filling since age 4 that reads ‘cassian’ with hearts all around it, every holovid of cassian in existence: actually,

[leoholzer]

[anakihn-blog]

bodhi..  he is calm… i would die for him…

[crayolasaurus]

i love that when poe says “that droid has a map that leads straight to luke skywalker” finn says “oh you gotta be kidding me”, implying he knows exactly who luke is and that he’s important. i love that when finn mentions luke to rey she says “luke skywalker??? i thought he was a myth” implying she knows exactly who luke is and that he’s important. i love that luke skywalker is a legend, a myth, a celebrity. do you think he has fans

[neenarchive]

I like to think that not only is he famous but that because he’s so elusive he’s actually reached cryptid status in the star wars universe. people host parties when a new blurry photograph comes out, get into debates over whether he really exists or not, skywalker-sighting hotspots are full of tourists and conspiracy theorists wearing shirts with a lightsaber on that say ‘I want to believe’ in block capitals.

[kaytooessoverit-deactivated2021]

[kelssiel]

there’s a popular show where three guys run around the deserted places on various planets that have reported “Skywalker sightings”

it’s mostly just them interviewing crazy yokels who claim they saw Luke Skywalker eating leaves somewhere then going out in the dark and scaring themselves shitless claiming they hear lightsaber noises

Leia hasn’t missed an episode since it began airing

[palindroned]

insp.

[mytamakomysookee]

HE LOVES IT

[gizkasparadise]

rogue one “everyone lives” au:

chirrut teaching luke about jedi lore and philosophy while baze and han roll their eyes and pound space beers in the background

bodhi’s face when leia awards him a medal for bravery

cassian and han hating each other until they are forced to tag-team in a cantina brawl

k-2so and r2d2 making c3po’s life hell

jyn joining the pathfinders under kes’s command

cassian and shara bey co-infiltrating imperial facilities

baze and chewbacca playing dejarik against one another (because everyone else was too afraid)

luke and bodhi bonding over flying junkers

jyn telling leia about the time she met bail organa

lando introducing chirrut to gambling on bespin (”oh, did i win again” “you have to be cheating” “all is as the force wills it”)

chirrut and baze helping leia with her grief over alderaan

k-2so also being accepted as a deity among the ewoks (the devil)

the members of rogue one watching the destruction of the death star from the med bay

[saoirseronan]

I never thought acting would be a realistic job for me. Because, quite frankly, I didn’t see people who looked like me doing it. I quickly realized, that’s all the more reason to try.

[thorodinson]

The Empire is building a weapon, capable of destroying an entire planet. They call it the Death Star.

[hayden-christensen-archive-blog]

[i-am-evolution]

[jabbashutt]

Chirrut: wow the stars must be beautiful tonight

Baze: yeah, they are

Chirrut: you know who else IS definitely beautiful?

Baze: *blushes* who

Chirrut: The Force™