Comedian, Dad, Trophy Husband.

After a decade of traveling all over the country as a professional stand-up comedian, Josh Alton now finds himself doing double duty as a road comic, and a stay at home dad. Read all about his adventures on the road, and at home with his daughters Emma and Avery, in the Trophy Husband Blog.

[jaccomedy]

Goodbye and Thanks!

A huge thank you to anyone who’s ever taken the time to check out my blog! I’ve loved writing it and sharing stories from home, but I haven’t been great about updating it for a while now. Other priorities in my life have taken over, and I just don’t have the time for regular updates. At this time I’m planning to build a new website, and to eliminate the blog all together. I truly appreciate anyone who ever read these entries. Becoming a parent, and more specifically, a stay at home dad, has been one of the biggest challenges of my life. It was always therapeutic to share my parenting experiences with readers, especially when I found out that there were other parents out there who had dealt with similar things. Writing this blog has meant a lot to me, and the fact that you took the time to read some of them does too. Thank you and goodbye!   

[jaccomedy]

Just wanted to pop in and make sure people know that I’m still alive! 🤓 Avery no longer naps unless she’s strapped into a car seat. 😩 Makes updating the blog a little tougher. 😬 Keeping up with the kids and the wife and the dog and the trivia nights and the comedy shows leaves little time for much else. 😐 Sometimes being an adult can be pretty overrated. 😤 But other times, like in this video, being an adult is pretty amazing. 😀 I love my family, I love my job(s) and I love you for visiting my blog! ❤️❤️❤️

[jaccomedy]

About 2 months ago, my family and I did something that I’ve been talking about doing for a while now: We got a family dog! Meet our newest family member, Eliza! Growing up I made countless memories playing with my family dog(s). We have been wanting a dog to add to our family, so we decided to go for it. Preferring to adopt, we checked out A Heinz 57 Pet Rescue in Desoto, IA. (aheinz57.com) They were great! We toured their facility and picked out a couple of dogs to meet. Eliza was the first one we met up with. She was so happy and such a sweetheart that we were pretty sure she was the one for us. After meeting another dog we filled out adoption papers to adopt Eliza! A week later she came home with us!!

It’s been a big learning experience for all of us as Eliza settles into a routine. We don’t know exactly what kind of mix she is, but as you can see in the photos she is very lean and is extremely fast. The first day we had Eliza, Avery let her out the screen door and I got to chase her around the neighborhood a little. It was kind of like when Rocky Balboa chased the chicken while training to fight Apollo Creed. Thankfully she cornered herself in somewhere and I was able to corral her. She loves to play and really enjoys going to the dog park. She also loves to chase wildlife. The first couple of weeks every walk felt like we were FBI agents chasing a wanted fugitive! Thankfully she’s getting better in that regard. Eliza is great with the girls and even gets along with our cat Farley pretty well. She chases him (playfully) more than I’d like but Farley can handle his own and seems to have the edge when they play. Another adjustment we’ve had to make is kenneling her up while we are gone from the house. She’s chewed up many items, most notably our front door mini blinds. Those have been replaced twice now! All in all we are very happy to share our home with Eliza. She’s a great dog. My hope is that my kids look back with fond memories of spending time with her and playing with her, later in life when they’re all grown up!

[jaccomedy]

Watching a toddler all day is no joke! This video is what happens when I dare to take a 5 minute break during the day to sit on the couch and catch my breath. When you’re dealing with a toddler, every relaxing moment comes with a hefty price to pay. This one cost me 15 minutes of clean up. I thought Avery was on our back porch just jumping on her trampoline. Sometimes I can be so naive. 🤦‍♂️

[jaccomedy]

Hello! Hello! It’s good to be back! Several weeks ago my domain, joshaltoncomedy.com was up for renewal. I made sure to renew before it expired but the company I renewed through then went out of business (or something, I never found out exactly what the deal was!) Anyway my site was offline for a couple of weeks while I got it straightened it out. I figured since I now have the domain back, I’d better actually use it to update my blog. Life is good for me. I’m busy and happy, and those are 2 things I try not to take for granted. Back in March I received an opportunity to headline a night at the Chicago Improv. It was my second time headlining and it’s always an honor to headline such a prestigious club. Just to keep myself humble I also posted the picture from 2 weeks later when I was headlining the Husker Bar in Columbus, NE. Both rooms are fun. Doesn’t matter where I’m at, I always give it 100% on stage and try to give the audience the brief escape from reality that they came out for! During Emma’s spring break I performed at the Diamond Jo Casino in Dubuque, IA. The casino puts their performers up at a hotel that has a huge water park inside of it. Emma was on spring break, Kim had a few days off from work, so we collected Avery and our niece Chloe, and spent 2 days at the water park in Dubuque. We walked along the Mississippi and dined at the finest Olive Garden they had to offer. It was a lot of fun and I am very grateful to the universe that it all worked out like it did! As you can see in the photo all 3 girls were exhausted on the way home. Kim and I also spent 4 nights at a resort in Cancun. Without the kids. It was incredible. I’ve never been so relaxed. We were joined by 4 other couples that we’re friends with, and we all had a blast. Can’t wait to go back next year!! Back in Des Moines, Emma’s painting was selected by her art teacher as the Windsor Elementary kindergarten representative at the Des Moines Schools Annual Art Festival. It was displayed downtown for a week or so. She did a great job on her painting and we are extremely proud of our young artist! Emma also lost her first tooth. Even let me yank it out. Not sure if there’s a dad job that I have enjoyed more than yanking out a loose tooth from my kids mouth? Something about it was very gratifying. As a family we had a great Easter. We saw the bunny, ate some chocolate, and visited some family. Most of all I got to spend time with my family. These girls are my life, and there’s nothing that makes me happier than spending time with them. ❤️

[jaccomedy]

Happy New Year everyone! Just wanted to say that 2017 was another fun year for the Trophy Husband. I was able to continue living my dream as a full-time working comic, and I spent the rest of my time hanging out with the goofballs pictured above. I’m very thankful to have them in my life. We had a great Christmas and can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for us!

[jaccomedy]

Emma Lou is now 6 years old!

[jaccomedy]

Today we celebrated Avery's 2nd birthday at Adventureland! There's literally nothing this girl won't ride. As always we had a blast. Can't believe my baby is already 2 years old!!!

[jaccomedy]

Avery's (current) favorite video. Girl loves to shoot some hoops!

[jaccomedy]

Emma's first day of kindergarten was a success! 😀 Dad holding it together the rest of the day not so much. 😢

[joshaltoncomedy]

[jaccomedy]

Summer break is officially over with Emma heading to her first day of kindergarten today. 😳😢😀 The kids worked me over pretty good, but we kept busy and had a lot of fun!

[jaccomedy]

Avery loves to get into trouble. She thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. Just watch her reaction as she watches this scene from the movie “Tangled”.

[jaccomedy]

C'mon Summer...

Winter is in full effect, and this guy has been trying really hard not to let it get him down. Seasonal depression is something I’ve struggled with for years. I can usually manage it by staying busy with comedy and working out at the gym. This year I have been occupied by my gigs and my family, but have not been able to get to the gym too much. Something about moving around and getting a sweat going helps my overall disposition. Yesterday I made it in for a workout, so I’m hoping I can continue that trend, and manage my (seasonally) bad attitude a little better than I have been. I’m sure my wife would appreciate that!

A lot has happened since my last post. Emma had a birthday in October, and is now 5 years old! How is that even possible? Seems like yesterday I was learning how to change a diaper and finding out exactly what a booger sucker is. Now I’m an expert at both. Emma goes to preschool 4 days a week, and attends a dance class once a week. Her teachers rave about her attitude and her behavior. At home, her “sassiness” and listening skills (or lack thereof) has grown exponentially and we often butt heads. During parent/teacher conferences her teacher described her as easy going, flexible, and “go with the flow”. We don’t see ANY of that at home. At home there is no such thing as being flexible or “go with the flow”. Things go Emma’s way, or a major meltdown will ensue. She has clearly inherited my temper. Part of the problem for her and I is that we are too much alike. Like me, Emma thinks she’s funny all of the time, even if it’s not the right time for it. Over the years I have learned when to shut my mouth and keep it to myself. (Most of the time!) I can only hope Emma Lou will learn that in time as well.

Avery Jane also had a birthday last fall, and is now a year old! About a month after her birthday she started walking. Then after a week or so of stumbling around, she just took off and started running everywhere. These days she’s grown much bolder and is all about climbing stuff. Mostly things she’s not supposed to climb. Sometimes I catch her in the act and come to her rescue. Other times I’m out of the room, and she falls and hurts herself. She just recovered from a big goose egg on the middle of her forehead, she has a fading bruise on her cheek from a fall last week, and now she has a fresh bruise under her chin from a recent fall. (And while editing this she fell, hit her nose, and may have broken it!) Nothing really deters her. Avery has also earned the nickname “Destructor” for her destructive ways about things. The kid doesn’t hardly ever play with toys, she just likes dumping them out and throwing them around, literally destroying whatever room she is in. When she’s finished with a drink from her sippy cup she tends to fling it across the room like a viking finishing a beer and smashing the glass against the wall. She’s getting bigger, smarter and faster, and I’m paying for every bit of it. At least she can’t talk back yet!

Kim and I also hit a milestone in the fall: Our 10 year wedding anniversary! I feel blessed that this wonderful woman has stood by me throughout my comedy career, and even dared to have kids with me. Although I’m sure she’s having second thoughts about all of that now that we have the kids and know how much they act like me. We celebrated our special day by getting away from those crazy kids for a weekend. The plan was originally to go to San Diego for the weekend. Then we had to purchase a new washer and dryer, so instead we made a more affordable road trip to Decorah, IA. It ended up being a blast! We stayed in a secluded cabin, enjoyed the peace and quiet, and discovered Mabe’s Pizza. (Seriously, go there if you ever find yourself in Decorah!) There’s no “quiet” to be had at home, so it ended up being the perfect trip for us.

Lately I have been doing stand-up at a lot of corporate holiday parties. I’ve had some good ones this year, but I have to admit that my favorite recent show was not actually at a corporate holiday party. Performing at a house party, during a blizzard, in the state of Missouri, for 3 different people’s birthdays was my favorite recent show! Prior to this, I had never actually performed at a house party before. And to be honest, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Were these people just going to gather around me in the living room and listen to me tell my jokes? I had no idea. But they paid good money, and I’m always up for a new adventure!

Just getting to the house party proved to be an adventure. As mentioned before, there was a blizzard going on and it was bad enough that I had thoughts of canceling the show. Then I consulted with another comedian, who quickly reminded me that I had driven longer distances, through worse weather, for lower pay, and I should just man up and make the trip. I had plenty of time so I could afford to take it slow, and if roads looked too bad to make the trip, I could always turn around and call it off. So, I made the trip, and the first 2 hours on I-35 South weren’t too awful. Then I had to exit to get to the town. That hour was a little scary. I made peace with God at least two times as my car fishtailed on the non-plowed, country back roads that I was attempting to traverse. Many times I was making fresh tracks on seldom used roads, and I couldn’t even tell where I was at on the road. I took it slow and made it the hotel. Now it was time to be funny!

I arrived at the party early, and only about half of the guests were even there. I introduced myself to people, tried to be charming, and started consuming alcohol. We were in the basement of the house, and set up already was a stage, rows of seats, and even a bar. Things were looking up! I hung out with the group for a couple of hours, then the host jumped on his fancy Bose microphone, and introduced me to the crowd. Most of the party actually sat down and focused on the show. They were a wild and vocal group, so my set required a lot of improv and audience banter. I told the the host that 50% of me thought we’d have a stand-up show and everything would be great, and the other 50% was sure I’d walk into the house to just him, laying there in his “tightie-whities” saying, “Come here Mr. Funnyman!” They were a hot audience and the party was a blast! I made it through the blizzard and was able to make the event a success. It was one of those nights that really made me appreciate what I do for a living, and how much fun it can be!

Honorable mention goes to doing the Des Moines Funny Bone Christmas week. Pictured here with Bill Blank (L) and JerDog (Middle) after the Friday shows. We all out started together in Des Moines, roughly 18 years ago!

The funny story of this post happened before the freezing temperatures set in. The kids and I had driven to meet Kim on her lunch break. On the way home, I was sure that Avery would fall asleep and ruin the nap I was planning to give her once we got home. Instead, Avery was wide awake when we arrived home, and it was Emma that was out like a light. When we were just a few miles from home, I had a big rumble in my gut, and I knew that when we got home, I needed to hit the bathroom ASAP, or suffer the consequences! So, when we arrived and I saw Emma asleep, I had to make a quick decision. There was no time to wake up Emma and get her inside. If I did that I would surely have shit my pants. So I grabbed Avery, locked the car doors, and used my automatic starter to keep the car running. The plan was to run in, take care of the initial “explosion” and get back outside within a couple of minutes to grab Emma. I did exactly that. But when I got out of the bathroom, Emma was there sitting in the living room, crying about how I just left her in the car by herself! How did this happen? Apparently, right after I came inside, Emma woke up and panicked. She immediately unbuckled herself from her car seat and tried to get out of her door. Her door no longer opens from the inside, so she quickly went to the front, passenger side door. She didn’t realize that door was locked and she couldn’t get out that way either. Her solution to these obstacles: lower the window and climb out of the car that way! So within 2 minutes, this girl woke up, realized the situation, and found a way out. Pretty hilarious! And yet another example of how much work I have cut out for me as I raise these imaginative and resourceful girls.

Bottom line is that as much as I have struggled to deal with “Sassypants” and “Destructor”, I love them with all my heart, and they both make me proud. Emma has turned out to be a great big sister and I know that most of the time (when she is naughty) she is just trying to win back some of the attention that she lost when Avery was born. My biggest challenge is to make sure they both get special attention throughout the day. Avery is reckless, but someday that may subside, and I won’t have to have a heart attack every 10 minutes. It’s a tough job being a stay-at-home parent, but I wake up everyday thankful for the opportunity to spend significant time with my daughters.

[jaccomedy]

The Trophy Husband finally learns how to do a ponytail for Emma.

[jaccomedy]

Welcome Avery Jane!

It’s been a good 5 months since I’ve updated this thing, so what do you say we do this? Time to knock the dust off this blog and make it happen. After all, a lot has happened in the last 5 months.

The long term plan to expand the Alton family by 1 was completed during the late morning hours of Wednesday, September 2nd, with the addition of our new daughter Avery Jane! She’s beautiful, she’s perfect, and she looks exactly like my wife. Just like Emma Lou does. Of course. I don’t mind being the ugly duckling of the family. I’m just glad they let me hang around.

Emma started preschool a few days after Avery was born. She seems to love going there. On one of the first days she went, Emma decided to give her teacher a picture that she had drawn at home. When she gave the drawing to the teacher she was asked what it was a picture of. Emma’s reply was, “Well, this guy is dead. He got hit by a cannonball.” Last time she gives away a drawing without me asking what it is first. Lesson learned.

What everyone wants to know is how am I handling having 2 kids at home with me instead of just 1? The answer to that is that I’m hanging in there. Kim went back to work 2 1/2 weeks ago. Every day we get settled a little more into a routine. Emma has been excellent as a big sister! She loves Avery and shows no signs of jealousy. With that being said, Avery has been somewhat fussy and often fights going to sleep. She requires a lot of attention, as most babies do, and sometimes when I’m dealing with her I just cannot pay attention to Emma. At least once a day Avery will be going off about God knows what, and Emma will start crying too because I can’t help her out with whatever she wants. Those are the moments when I wonder if I am mentally tough enough for this job. It’s a daily grind. I love my children and there is no place I’d rather be. Except maybe Jamaica.

The crazy story for this edition actually happened on the very first day I had both girls to myself. Let’s leave a road comic with a 4 year old girl and an 8 week old baby... what could possibly happen? That first morning was smooth sailing. Avery slept most of the morning. My mother in law and her mother had both stopped by to say Hi. Avery woke up late morning and ate a bottle, then was laying on the floor underneath a light up toy. Emma was playing by herself. Grandma and Great Grandma decided to leave. After they walked out the door I realized that we still had my mother in law’s cooler that we had borrowed a few weeks prior. I ran outside to ask her if she wanted to take it with her. Then I ran right back inside to grab the cooler. I was gone for maybe 10-15 seconds total. When I came back inside I saw Emma hovering over Avery. She looked at me and said, “I accidentally gave Avery my gum, and she swallowed it.” No way. I was only gone for a second. Emma didn’t really give her that gum, did she? I looked everywhere. Maybe it was stuck in the baby’s hair? Perhaps it was stuck underneath her? Maybe she was just hiding it and trying to play a trick on me? Eventually I had to come to terms that Avery had in fact swallowed Emma’s chewed up gum. Emma wanted Avery to taste how delicious it was and Avery decided it was tasty enough to eat it right up. Her first meal other than boob milk. 15 seconds into watching my precious baby girl without anyone else to help and I had already completely failed her. Thank God she didn’t choke on it! The next day the gum passed through her system. It was easily identifiable because it was the only solid thing swimming around in her soupy poop. At least I now know that her digestive tract is healthy and working just fine. Good grief this job is stressful.

Emma was a mermaid for Halloween.

And all of her dreams came true when she got to meet a princess!

She wanted to make sure we had plenty of beverages for her 4th birthday party.

We got her a pinata to take out some of her aggression.

No doubt she is a goofball (who needs to keep her gum in her mouth!)

Avery pretty much thinks she’s hilarious!

Sisters forever.

[jaccomedy]

Top 7 Things I’ve Been Doing (Instead of Writing My Blog)

OK, so I missed the last 15 or so potential “Trophy Husband Tuesdays”. I’ve been a busy man. I love to write this blog but it has become increasingly tough to string together a few hours to update the content. This week I was determined to make it happen.

Here are the top 7 things I’ve been doing instead of updating my blog: 

1. Hanging with the Family

You’ll never get me to apologize for this one. Emma, Kim, and I love to hang out together, and we do it as much as we can. We like dancing, singing, playing hide and go seek, reading books, watching movies, sharing meals, going to the park, whatever. As long as we’re together it’s fun. Now that the weather is nice we’ve been spending a lot of time outside. Even broke out the fire pit and roasted marshmallows last night. Hanging with the family is, and always will be, priority number one.  

2. Working

I’ve literally been doing gigs on the road every week since I last wrote a new blog 4 months ago. It was mostly comedy club work with a few casinos and bars mixed in. I did have 2 weekends off for weddings. Congrats to Kevin and Laura, and Mary and Terry! Now that summer is here my schedule will slow down until the fall. I do have dates coming up in Miami, OK, Toledo, OH, Winston-Salem, NC, Chicago, and Detroit. Check out my full calendar by clicking on the “performance dates” tab on the left.

With Dr. Gonzo (center) and Jeff Caudill at the Funny Bone in Omaha, NE.

My former NIACC roommate, Mark, lives there, so we caught up too!

With another NIACC friend Joe, and his wife Amy, at Penguins in Cedar Rapids.

Comedian Mike O’Keefe and I knocked it out in Minong, WI.

With comics Tom Garland (left) and Buddah Eskew (right) in Decatur, IL.

And I caught up with my friend Tyson in Davenport, IA last weekend!

3. Baseball

I have a bit of an obsession with the game of baseball. I watch it as much as I can. I listen to it on the radio whenever possible. I go to games whenever I can. I’m in a fantasy baseball league. I play softball once a week. I’m always up for playing catch. Basically from the beginning of April till the end of October I am preoccupied by the game of baseball. It’s a passion of mine and it can be pretty distracting when it comes to getting things like writing done!

At the Royals/Yankees game in KC with my cousin Mike, and his girlfriend Mindy. Great ballpark! Yankees got destroyed in the game.

4. Projects Around the House

One major reason that I’m so busy these days is that I constantly have some kind of project around the house that I could be working on at any given time. Or the lawn needs to be mowed. Been doing a lot of that too. I love living in a house, but it is definitely more work that living in a condo.

Emma and I built Kim a raised garden planter for Mother’s Day.

5. Visiting My New Niece

That’s right! On April 29th my brother and his wife welcomed their first child into the world. Her name is Zola and she is absolutely adorable. And my brother is up to his knees in shitty diapers. Life is good right now!

Emma meeting Zola for the first time.

6. Helping Emma Kick the Pacifier

This one was a team effort by the Altons. Emma has always been pretty obsessed with her pacifier. Since she was about 2 years old we have limited it’s use to naps and sleeping at night. It still wasn’t going to go away without a fight. So, one day in early May Emma and I made a construction paper countdown chain big enough to get her to the end of the month. Then we set up a play date at her favorite place in the world: Adventureland. At the end of the count down she was to not use her pacifier for 1 day/night, and the reward was spending the day at the amusement park the next day. It was a tough night but we got through it and now Emma is paci-free!  I have to praise her for being so easy to work with when it comes to transitions. She didn’t really have any problems moving from a crib to a bed, or learning to potty train, or even spending her first day at daycare a few weeks back. Letting the pacifier go was a tough one for her and she took on the challenge and made it happen. I couldn’t be any prouder of her!

7. Knocking My Wife Up

Yes, you read that correctly. Kim and I are expecting child number two in early September! You heard it right here first. OK, so maybe I did an online interview to promote an upcoming show, and I accidentally spilled the beans there already. Whoops. Thankfully my wife is used to my imperfections. So, Emma will start going to preschool, and I will be at home starting this whole process over again with a brand new baby. What have I gotten myself into?! At least there will be plenty of material to continue the blog with...

COMING SOON: BABY ALTON

I mentioned above that I play softball once a week, and it’s the same team I played on last year after I moved back to Iowa. My team is called the “Slumpbusters” and trust me when I tell you nobody has more fun than us! One thing I hadn’t done since joining the squad was to hit a home run. I had come close many times flying out to the warning track, or banging a double off the fence, but I just couldn’t seem to get one to go up and over. Well, last week I was stretching and getting ready for softball, and Emma asked if we could do yoga? I have participated in many yoga classes, but have not done one for a couple of years. Anyway, I busted out a DVD that we have, we moved the coffee table out of the way, rolled out our mats, and followed along the best we could. It was hilarious watching Emma holding her “Warrior Pose”! Anyway, a little later I went to softball and hit not 1 but 2 home runs in the first game! The first of which was a grand slam! (Bear with the brag post, I haven’t hit one in a while!) The point is, I have a very busy schedule, and now I have to cram a yoga session in before softball every week. Or risk having warning track power.

Enjoy the photos. Namaste.

This girl straight up passed out on me at Target one day.

Probably worn out from trying to push this giant baseball at Principal Park.

Kim and I after the Hansen wedding.

Emma got her face painted at the Mall of America.

Then she got to meet Dora and Boots.

Uncle Joe gave her some tips on the ukulele.

It’s possible she may prefer the drums.

She can play either instrument as long as she’s not doing this!

I feel blessed every day.

[jaccomedy]

She's Crafty

I literally just bribed my daughter to take her nap without calling me into her room. The deal is that if she can go to sleep without calling me to her room even just one time, then she gets a small surprise when she wakes up. The small surprise is a little My Little Pony stuffed animal that I bought at the mall. As much as Emma wanted the surprise, I was skeptical that it would work. She is the queen of playing games when she's supposed to be going to sleep. It's been tough to deal with night after night, and nap after nap. That's how I came to bribe my daughter today. It did work, as she's been asleep for a while now and she did not call me into her room once. I have another small stuffed animal surprise for her if she can do it again tonight when it's time to go to bed. But then what happens after that? Do I just have to keep buying her shit so she will go to sleep without driving me crazy? All I know is that she went to sleep today without a fight, and I needed it. 

EMMA WOULDN'T LET ME PUT THIS DIAPER ON HER BUTT SO IT WENT ON HER HEAD.

When I left off last week we were getting ready to go to Emma's first basketball practice. Upon arrival we discovered the head coach was a guy I went to high school with. Before I could sit down he asked me to be the assistant coach and help run practice. I agreed. Reluctantly. Turned out to be a good move on his part as my main job was to corral Emma anytime she felt like running off and doing her own thing. Which was often. 

Emma enjoys playing on the team but also gets extremely frustrated because she cannot shoot the ball high enough to make it into the 6 foot hoop unless I lift her up. There are 2 other girls in the same boat as Emma, Then there are 2 boys and 1 other girl who are the decent players, and 1 other boy who is just plain awesome. I don't want to use his real name, so let's just call him "Michael Jordan". Michael Jordan dribbles down the court, hits jump shots, and gets over 90% of our teams rebounds. During our first game last week he said, "Coach, I can't figure out what the score is!" (They use the scoreboard to run the timer, but don't keep score.) I was like, "Don't worry about it buddy... we are winning by a lot!"

WORKING ON THE JUMP SHOT.

Emma's favorite part is that she got a pair of new purple gym shoes and they get treats at the end of each practice/game. She also likes wearing her jersey, which looks more like a dress on her.

SHE MADE SURE HER LIPSTICK MATCHED HER JERSEY-DRESS, WHICH IS REALLY WHAT MATTERS.

I have been on the road doing a ton of comedy lately. After my St. Jude's benefit show in Mason City a few weeks ago, I did my final corporate holiday party of the season. Then I did a weekend at the Koo Coo's Nest in Wausau, WI, and then last weekend did Goonie's Comedy Club in Rochester, MN. This week I will be in Omaha doing their Funny Bone for the first time. Then it's off to Minneapolis to do Dangerfield's the following weekend. Please come out if you live in either area, as I love catching up with friends on the road!

WITH THE COMICS FROM THE KOO COO'S NEST.

I MANAGED TO FIND A GRAFENBERG FAN AND A TROPHY HUSBAND!

GIVING IT MY ALL AT GOONIE'S COMEDY CLUB.

FRIENDS MARK AND SHANNON BROUGHT A WHOLE CREW TO MY SHOW!

AND MY FRIEND JEN (L) BROUGHT HER HUSBAND AND THEIR FRIENDS TO ONE OF MY SHOWS! Lastly, a while back Emma stayed the night at one of her grandparents houses and the next night I was putting her to bed at home (Kim was still working nights at the time). Like a lot of 3-year-olds, Emma has quite the bedtime routine and part of it is to sing her a song or two. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "You are my Sunshine" are, or at least were, a couple of my stand byes to sing to her before bed. But this particular night, those "oldies but goodies" were no longer good. Not acceptable.

"Last night Grandma sang me songs I've never heard before," she says. "I want you to sing me something I've never heard before tonight."

She wasn't letting it go. I tried some Christmas songs we hadn't sung in a while but she demanded to hear something she's never heard. I just don't know the words to a whole lot of songs other than the ones I had already done for her in the past.

There is one song I know every word tol: "Paul Revere" by the Beastie Boys. That song is on their first album "Licensed to Ill" which my sister had on cassette tape when I was about 10 years old. I dubbed that tape and listened to it more than I probably have anything else in my life. At that time I had learned all the words to "Paul Revere" and I guess they've never left my brain. I wasn't sure I wanted to do it for my young daughter though. I tried to think of something else but nothing was coming to mind. She kept persisting and I finally caved in and did the song for her. It worked. She liked it and she went to sleep that night. 

Now she wants to hear it every night. I've created a monster. The last week or 2 I've noticed her doing a few of the lines in the song. Then yesterday I asked her to sing "Paul Revere"and I started filming her on my phone.

Here is that footage (You're welcome!):