@jack-barakat-is-drunk-again - Tumblr Blog

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If I could offer a young person advice about anything it would be do NOT make life decisions based on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Girls especially. Do NOT stay close to home for him, do not skip opportunities to travel or study abroad, do not pick a safe college to be with him. Expand your horizons. Broaden your own life. He is not the world.

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I want everyone who disagrees with this post to come back to me in a couple years and tell me how that shit worked out.

prolifeproliberty

Note: if your relationship can’t survive a semester or a year apart, it’s probably not going to survive the rest of your life.

Also, if your SO can’t be supportive of your education/career goals, they’re probably not the right person for you.

river-moon-goddess

squidliescrawls

I thought this was hilarious when I was drunk

gunvolt

im going to have a stroke

prideling

Instead try… Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

artykyn

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

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Pronouncing your own name with a foreign accent in mid conversation because you can’t switch the accent gears fast enough and then wincing at yourself as your ears scream bloody murder at you.

virgil-is-verge

The idiom thing I do all the time. I have no idea which ones work in english and which ones work in swedish so I sometimes have people co.menting on my writing like “what does that mean???”