I was having a day where at every turn, I just let my shoulders drop and laugh. They say if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.
I believe my psyche saw that phrase and re structured my neuron’s to only use that code. Like with most my stories there’s so much to cover.
Like most things. Life am I right?
So after waking up at 5am dragging myself out of Bed and having a meltdown over my sister eating my chocolate croissant. I headed off to my first quest of the day.
Task one - transport sticks (they were basically half the size of me 5ft3 or reference) in a taxi.
I was cooped up in a taxi like a dead butterfly pinned up by a very fascinated entomologist.
The taxi man didn’t ask why. Nah. Didn’t even looked the slightest bit phased.
This is literally my life.
Yes my seat belt wasn’t on. Yes he asked if I could…and yes looked him and said.
It would’ve been more than reasonable to stop there.
Didn’t even attempt. I mean? Hello? I’m like a dead fly with bloody bamboo sticks threatening to impale me. (I don’t actually know if they were bamboo, probably not)
I could continue about this first half of my day, but this would go on for far too long.
And it was still only 8:30am.
So after a few hours of kids with sticks making 6ft trees.
After becoming a master contortionist, with fake trees in my friend’s tiny little car and managing to transport them all in one beautiful piece. (Hopefully)
Off I went on a 5 minute walk, to our charity’s little stall.
I’m use to the stalls, repeating the same thing. Forgetting the same thing. Nodding along even though my poor delayed brain couldn’t keep up.
While my coworker was chatting away with a potential volunteer, my ears perk like a dog that heard its favourite word.
Actually more like an off duty police dog that just sniffed crack in someone’s briefcase.
I turn around to the stall right behind ours, where the lovely lady and her two children were set up.
Was throwing verbal abuse at the poor woman and her 2 teenagers.
I know I’m not invincible. However I was raised in a council estate where crazy people were my normal, and telling someone “I’ll break your fucking jaw” even though you probably couldn’t was as natural as breathing.
In this moment I thought I was Batman. A more…bright coloured…Luigi looking Batman.
No seriously I was wearing overalls and a green jumper.
I ask the woman if she was okay and she nods.
The man begins to swear and curse and I ignore him.
Because I’m crazy too. I know you read that and cringed. I’m crazy not because I’m insane, I’m crazy because…
“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Is my reflex.
However going all crazy was not the vibes. So naturally I tell my colleague to get security as the man eventually wanders off to continue his manic adventure to the other stalls.
Most people at these stalls were women.
As I get up to make sure the other people are okay, I see my small 5ft or below coworker in her cute pink dress try and calmly tell him to leave.
I walk over and he gets increasingly more agitated, shouting things that made zero sense.
I just smiled, nodded and stood.
I mean I’m Batman, not superman unfortunately I do not have super strength or heat ray vision. However with the way he was shouting I wouldn’t be surprised if he hallucinated that I did.
My colleague tried to pull me back absolutely terrified at this point.
Like girl I love you…but I’m not letting you stand in-front of me.
I did have to snap out of it and remember.
Oh yeah, this is a public place, I don’t need to stand like a hound that’s sniffed a bomb.
Or flicker through all the mental manual “how not die if this man tries to scrap me.”
Eventually he leaves and all is swell.
I made sure everyone was fine. People started coming to me ask if I was alright and thanking me for intervening.
Suddenly I become justice himself.
“Nah, don’t worry about it, I don’t like it me, nah seriously if he tried anything I was ready!” Thickest Bolton accent known to humanity.
But if I had to be. Then…yolo?
Yes I am the same person who said she she’s aware she isn’t invisible.
The rest of the day was lovely from doing Somali traditional dances in public, dancing to rock music and getting free food.
OH and saw a man in a bee costume. #highlightofmyday
I practically did a backflip the moment I saw him, and obviously I took a photo with it.
“The weather is always so bad,” he says.
“It’s horrible! One day sun, next day rain, next day snow!”
He laughs and nods along.
We talk about the weather for as long as most British people do.
“If you don’t mind me asking where you from? You mentioned you moved here?”
“Wow? Can you teach me some words in your language?”
He taught me how to say some words. I tried, he lied and said I did well.
He told me about Iran, and how he moved alone 20 years ago and told me a famous Iranian food I have to try.
“Really? You’re a cook then?” I say surprised.
He smiles shaking his head sheepishly.
“I came here alone so I had to learn everything myself even cooking,”
“Wow! Do you cook other things?”
“Yeah! I will tell you a story…wait sorry-“
“No no don’t apologise continue!”
“My older brother teach me how to make this. Now? He tells me I make better than him!”
“Wow?! So you must be good then!”
He nods and I ask him about his friend who my colleague was currently yapping away too.
“My friend he’s very smart, he dosnt tell people, but he’s writing a book!”
He talks more about his friend and I smile as he explains how intelligent he is.
“He’s so smart not like me,”
“What? You’re definitely smart? You told me 3 stories where someone showed you how to make food and you made it better each time!”
He smiles slightly shaking his head ruefully.
“I’m not? It’s the truth! If what you say is true then, it is a fact that you are smart not a personal belief,”
We talk a bit more about England and how he likes it.
“I prefer Liverpool, it’s like dreamy there,”
“I love Liverpool too I’m going tomorrow!”
“Really? I just have good memories there,”
“Oh really? Like what if you don’t mind me asking,”
“No go on, I’m listening”
“I met her at the hospital, she was always sick…always had problems…,”
He pause, lips pressing together as he shakes his head.
“Don’t apologise I’m listening,”
“We would always go Liverpool,”
“I’m not a crazy person I swear I’m not..when I tell people this they don’t believe me.”
“I don’t think your crazy, I want to hear it,”
“When she was in hospital, her family called me and told me she was dead,”
“I shake my head and say no…she’s not and I pray to god and I place my hand on her forehead and I say her name,”
“I Swear! I am not lying she woke up…from that day 2 more years before she passed.”
“Yes! I swear I know you might not believe me-“
“I don’t think I’m god I’m just a man…it just happened,”
“God works in mysterious ways,”
“I tell you, back in Iran my brother had a goldfish, that had died he told me to throw it away,”
“I said, give me the gold fish, I took it outside I prayed, I said god, show me”
“The goldfish turned over! My brothers were so confused how I did this,”
“I know,” I say with a smile. “Miracles happen everyday? Who am I to deny yours, God sends you who you need, even when you don’t know you need them,”
But it doesn’t erase its truth.
“Thank you, you’re very kind,”
The sky was clear now, warmer.
“See he’s heard us complain, so he’s gone made the weather better,”
“Because of you that,” I tease
“No it’s you, I feel like I have so much energy now,” His eyes then shoot open, hands frantically digging into his pocket.
“I was walking and I was thinking about god, I look down and found this rock,” He pulls the rock out of his pants, and there in the rock was a cross.
“Omg? Yes it’s a cross?!”
“I bring it with me all the time,”
He offers the rock to Me.
I take the rock with a smile.
“I’ll keep this safe,” I move to place it safely in my pocket. It then falls rolling under one of the stalls.
“Noo,” I run after it ducking the table to grab it.
“Not me already loosing it,” I laugh as I hold it up to him and put in my pocket.
“I’ll keep this with me seriously,” I say
“I’ll see you again, we’ve told god, and when I see you, you’ll have my food,”
“And I’ll have the rock too!” I add, He laughs. Then his friend finishes his conversation with my colleague and we both wave them goodbye.
Will I see him again? I don’t know.
