Virtual Office Laughs

The cartoon blog of the virtual office services industry by Jack Blumner

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Through our alliances in the industry, the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, makes work space available to our tenants, wherever and whenever they need to go... Michelle, Mr. Allen is going on an oil exploration mission to the Arctic. Could you please show him our igloo  locations up there? Show him the ones with the ice block windows.

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I found it amusing to read recently that a hologram had replaced a human receptionist at the front desk of a London town hall.   I can not imagine a hologram dealing with some of the issues that arise at the Executive Office Center's very busy reception desk...

My name is Michelle.  I assure you, sir, I am not a hologram.

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We're all pet lovers at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows. I used to bring my Golden Retriever to the office with me every day, my old buddy, Mooks. It's great when someone shows up in the lobby with a little pooch. We try to accommodate our tenants and their clients in every way possible, but the situation below stretched the limits of our tolerance...

Aren't you a good dog, Brutus, for waiting so patiently for your master. Good dog, Brutus...good dog...

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Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadows and her assistant, Michelle, truly watch out for the best interest of our tenants.  It's mid-October and it's starting to get chilly here in New York...

Mr. Cheung, you're not leaving the office like that! Get back here this instant and put on a sweater!

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I've already undergone a few other enhancements, so I understand the concept.           

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Look, I know that most of you are here for the food, but no one is getting a bagel until I get at least one amen or hallelujah!

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Oh, yeah!  Own that ponytail, Ms. Jenkins.  Work that updo!

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This may interest you as well, Mr. Jacobs.  For a one time fee of $189, we will send someone to synagogue for you on Yom Kippur to attone for your sins. It'll be an extra $100 if you want that person to fast.

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So, what you gotta do is - first, you spend a couple of years doing petty theft.  Just to get your feet wet.  Small stuff,  just to see if you have the stomach for it.  Then, you got lots of options, drugs, racketeering, protection.  Being a hit man pays good money, too. Oh my God!  Vito, why are are you talking to this man?  He was supposed to talk to Alan Kramer.  He is starting a new web design business.

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Hello Mr. Burns,  I've got you on the red-eye to Los Angeles, leaving JFK at 11:55.  There are stuffed animals at the front desk, if you'd care to take one for your daughter - and I've picked up a lovely necklace for your wife, because you've been away from home for a week, and she would have expected you to miss her greatly... though we know otherwise, don't we.

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The drop off - er, that is, package delivery - will take place tomorrow afternoon. If everything goes well, you'll be getting a very substantial bonus, Ms. Abrams. You're running a wonderful operation here.  Isn't that right, boys?  

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I'm very sorry, Mr. Chiu, but I can not allow you to go to a business meeting in that suit. You're a size 40, right. Here, take this and see if it fits.

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I already have a virtual husband, so this will be perfect.

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  Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to tell you that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store....uhm...okay...gotta go now.