The Real Captain Jack Harkness

He/him. Sexy, omnisexual, immortal man from the 51st century. Captain of Torchwood 3. Ianto Jones is my husband, although we're not technically married. (Please don't talk to me unless you are an adult. XD)

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

I love Ianto Jones.

I've loved a lot of other people too.

Just because he's one of many doesn't make my love for him any less meaningful and important to me.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Come gimme some of that yum like a lollipop :3

You can come lick my lollipop anytime. 😏😘🍭🍆

[iantoscoffee]

I NEED SOMEONE TO DRAW JACK HARKNESS IN THIS PLEASE

[captain-ghost]

Couldn't help but draw cat!Jack in this

[iantoscoffee]

I NEED SOMEONE TO DRAW JACK HARKNESS IN THIS PLEASE

[iotsketches]

bet

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Hey! Can I ask you a question? Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?

Sounds like a fun time. Count me in. 😘😏

[crackhead-once-ler]

How've you been? 😏😘

YOOOOOOOOOO, JACKCHACHO MY GNARLY GUY!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WICKED LONG TIME, LIKE A WHOLE JEREMY BEARIMY, MY GUY!!!! IT IS SO CRACKTASTIC TO HEAR FROM YOU MY MAIN MAN!!!

I've been totally curly wurly fucking awesome, my dope dude guy!!! Totes my goats cracktastic!! Totally pumped!!! Just the other day I alphabetized all my tasty-tastic rad M&Ms!!!! And then when I was done I crushed and smashed all of them up and snorted them up with my favourite silly straw!!!!

After that I was so fucking gnarly pumped up I decided to hop hop into my totally tubular Hello Kitty car and go to the beach beach where a cracktastic squirrel tried to communicate secrets of the universe with me!!! I swear I share a soul with this funky little crackhead!! I could see it in his beady squirrelchacho eyes as he stole my tater tot!!!! It was gnarly wicked!!! totally sick!!! cucumber cool my dude guy!!!

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN MY FAVOURITE HORNDOG BROCHACHO MAN DUDE?! :DDD

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Uh-huh... I don't know what else I would expect from you honestly.

I'm doing pretty well, thanks. I've mostly just been chilling - going to bars, flirting, taking people home. You know, the usual.

I see you still have that drug problem. Well, if you're ever interested in trying to break your habit, I know something even better than drugs. 😏🤭😉

[crackhead-once-ler]

Nawwww Jackchacho my dynamite girly!! That's just about what I figured you'd be up to you, my horny pookie boo brochacho!!! My heart soars with the eagles nest to hear you've been doing gouda these days!!!!!

NAAAHH, I'm totes my goats, ken out of ken fine my baby man!! Are you suggesting I MAKE YOUR LOVE MY DRUG???

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was suggesting. 😘

[crackhead-once-ler]

OMG DID YOU PULL A KESHA ON ME, JACKY BOO?? OH JACK, BABYGORL, LIGHT OF MY LIFE POOKIE BEAR, YOU'RE SUCH A SILLY LITTLE FLIRT!!!! I'M FLATTERED AS CHEESEBALLS MY RAD HORNY PANTS BRO!!! WANNA GO ON A CRACKTASTIC DATE WITH ME AGAIN???!!!!

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

I'd love to! As long as we come back to my place after. 😉❤️‍🔥

[crackhead-once-ler]

SOUNDS GNARLY SWAG AS CHEESEBALLS MY BABYGORL JACKCHACHO MAN!!! Wanna skedaddle over to the club before we go to your place? I HEAR IT'S DISCO NIGHT, MY GUY!!

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

That sounds like a ton of fun! I'll see you there. 😘

[crackhead-once-ler]

How've you been? 😏😘

YOOOOOOOOOO, JACKCHACHO MY GNARLY GUY!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WICKED LONG TIME, LIKE A WHOLE JEREMY BEARIMY, MY GUY!!!! IT IS SO CRACKTASTIC TO HEAR FROM YOU MY MAIN MAN!!!

I've been totally curly wurly fucking awesome, my dope dude guy!!! Totes my goats cracktastic!! Totally pumped!!! Just the other day I alphabetized all my tasty-tastic rad M&Ms!!!! And then when I was done I crushed and smashed all of them up and snorted them up with my favourite silly straw!!!!

After that I was so fucking gnarly pumped up I decided to hop hop into my totally tubular Hello Kitty car and go to the beach beach where a cracktastic squirrel tried to communicate secrets of the universe with me!!! I swear I share a soul with this funky little crackhead!! I could see it in his beady squirrelchacho eyes as he stole my tater tot!!!! It was gnarly wicked!!! totally sick!!! cucumber cool my dude guy!!!

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN MY FAVOURITE HORNDOG BROCHACHO MAN DUDE?! :DDD

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Uh-huh... I don't know what else I would expect from you honestly.

I'm doing pretty well, thanks. I've mostly just been chilling - going to bars, flirting, taking people home. You know, the usual.

I see you still have that drug problem. Well, if you're ever interested in trying to break your habit, I know something even better than drugs. 😏🤭😉

[crackhead-once-ler]

Nawwww Jackchacho my dynamite girly!! That's just about what I figured you'd be up to you, my horny pookie boo brochacho!!! My heart soars with the eagles nest to hear you've been doing gouda these days!!!!!

NAAAHH, I'm totes my goats, ken out of ken fine my baby man!! Are you suggesting I MAKE YOUR LOVE MY DRUG???

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was suggesting. 😘

[crackhead-once-ler]

OMG DID YOU PULL A KESHA ON ME, JACKY BOO?? OH JACK, BABYGORL, LIGHT OF MY LIFE POOKIE BEAR, YOU'RE SUCH A SILLY LITTLE FLIRT!!!! I'M FLATTERED AS CHEESEBALLS MY RAD HORNY PANTS BRO!!! WANNA GO ON A CRACKTASTIC DATE WITH ME AGAIN???!!!!

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

I'd love to! As long as we come back to my place after. 😉❤️‍🔥

[pinksmonkey]

Ah, Torchwood... AKA Disaster Bisexuals Fight Aliens.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

You're not wrong. 😉

[pinksmonkey]

Can a bunch of different people please draw this in your style? I really want to see art of this picture, it's perfect. XD

I need to draw this eventually too. It would be cool if a bunch of people did it, whether you're an artist or not, it's just so silly. Lol.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Yes, everyone should be required by law to draw this picture. I don't care how good or bad at drawing you are, this image will always be a work of art. 👌

[pinksmonkey]

Jack and Ianto drawing <3

I made so many versions of them, this isn't even all of them. X'D

I need to draw them more! ;-;

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Aren't we just the cutest couple? 😘🥰

[crackhead-once-ler]

How've you been? 😏😘

YOOOOOOOOOO, JACKCHACHO MY GNARLY GUY!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WICKED LONG TIME, LIKE A WHOLE JEREMY BEARIMY, MY GUY!!!! IT IS SO CRACKTASTIC TO HEAR FROM YOU MY MAIN MAN!!!

I've been totally curly wurly fucking awesome, my dope dude guy!!! Totes my goats cracktastic!! Totally pumped!!! Just the other day I alphabetized all my tasty-tastic rad M&Ms!!!! And then when I was done I crushed and smashed all of them up and snorted them up with my favourite silly straw!!!!

After that I was so fucking gnarly pumped up I decided to hop hop into my totally tubular Hello Kitty car and go to the beach beach where a cracktastic squirrel tried to communicate secrets of the universe with me!!! I swear I share a soul with this funky little crackhead!! I could see it in his beady squirrelchacho eyes as he stole my tater tot!!!! It was gnarly wicked!!! totally sick!!! cucumber cool my dude guy!!!

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN MY FAVOURITE HORNDOG BROCHACHO MAN DUDE?! :DDD

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Uh-huh... I don't know what else I would expect from you honestly.

I'm doing pretty well, thanks. I've mostly just been chilling - going to bars, flirting, taking people home. You know, the usual.

I see you still have that drug problem. Well, if you're ever interested in trying to break your habit, I know something even better than drugs. 😏🤭😉

[crackhead-once-ler]

Nawwww Jackchacho my dynamite girly!! That's just about what I figured you'd be up to you, my horny pookie boo brochacho!!! My heart soars with the eagles nest to hear you've been doing gouda these days!!!!!

NAAAHH, I'm totes my goats, ken out of ken fine my baby man!! Are you suggesting I MAKE YOUR LOVE MY DRUG???

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was suggesting. 😘

[crackhead-once-ler]

How've you been? 😏😘

YOOOOOOOOOO, JACKCHACHO MY GNARLY GUY!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WICKED LONG TIME, LIKE A WHOLE JEREMY BEARIMY, MY GUY!!!! IT IS SO CRACKTASTIC TO HEAR FROM YOU MY MAIN MAN!!!

I've been totally curly wurly fucking awesome, my dope dude guy!!! Totes my goats cracktastic!! Totally pumped!!! Just the other day I alphabetized all my tasty-tastic rad M&Ms!!!! And then when I was done I crushed and smashed all of them up and snorted them up with my favourite silly straw!!!!

After that I was so fucking gnarly pumped up I decided to hop hop into my totally tubular Hello Kitty car and go to the beach beach where a cracktastic squirrel tried to communicate secrets of the universe with me!!! I swear I share a soul with this funky little crackhead!! I could see it in his beady squirrelchacho eyes as he stole my tater tot!!!! It was gnarly wicked!!! totally sick!!! cucumber cool my dude guy!!!

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN MY FAVOURITE HORNDOG BROCHACHO MAN DUDE?! :DDD

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Uh-huh... I don't know what else I would expect from you honestly.

I'm doing pretty well, thanks. I've mostly just been chilling - going to bars, flirting, taking people home. You know, the usual.

I see you still have that drug problem. Well, if you're ever interested in trying to break your habit, I know something even better than drugs. 😏🤭😉

[crackhead-once-ler]

WOOOOOOOOOO @jackharknessflirtsxx !!!!!!!!!

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

That was a great night. 😏😉

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

hellooooo jack

i noticed you followed me, thats nice of you, thank you.

anyways have you come across The Old Guard? their immortality works a bit like yours, and its basically "get a bunch of immortals, most of which are bi or gay, and give the braincell to the youngest one". its very good highly recommend. theres comics and a film, and a second film coming out soon

look into it, its good.

also excited for reality war? I would bet twenty quid the Doctor falls into the hell dimension Rogue is in, and then he finally comes back omg ive been rooting for him to come back for literal MONTHS

No, I haven't heard of The Old Guard before. Sounds interesting, I'll be sure to check it out. 👍

Yeah. 😂

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Heyyy there Jack, my gnarly rad, babygorl man! I have a question for you brochacho 👉👈

I'd love to hold your hands, and maybe more if you'll let me. 😏😘

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Heya babes!! ✨✨✨

Updating you to tell you we have our sights set on Alzarius first!! The big fella said he really liked the sound of mistfall. I did a little background research and found out there's some crazy wacky biology going on with the lifeforms there! That's so cool! I love me some weird critters.

Oh! By the way, I was told by a friend of mine to ask you about a place called Gallifrey? They want to know if you've ever been there. Not really sure where that place is, but maybe I'll look into it too!

Stay strikingly handsome, my king,

Lilia

(No truly, you're crazy handsome 😆☺️)

Thank you so much. 😘

And no, I haven't been to Gallifrey personally. You could visit it if you want to, but I think it's pretty barren at this point in time.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

....you are, jack?

Yes, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. ✌️

[portalling101]

i am known as port Grambell, ... how would you like a chance to redeem yourself from the 456 incident.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

I- Wh- You could do that? How?

[portalling101]

there are children trapped in bodys not of their own, under a factory. my brother is one, free them without killing them, and you will be considered redeemed.

[jackharknessflirtsxx]

Oh. Yeah, sure. I can do that.