Session 5: friendship fucking sucks when you’re not used to being a horse
Everyone spawned in and immediately freaked out bc being a pony was not in their bingo card
Jack Fain, who the party took with them, showed up as a small dragon and spent the entire session riding on Titus’ back
We had a party that included a Kirin, a centaur, and a changeling which led to a lot of pony racism
Mapleshade had to roll for grease and successfully revealed that her hair was Gross
Mapleshade also decided we were in Cat Heaven bc the only place she had seen horses was Cat Hell and this as that but more colorful and also she was a horse now
The ink demon saw more colors than he’s ever seen and almost died
Toph saw in 20k vision bc she had four feet on the ground instead of two
Mapleshade was VERY distressed that she didn’t have claws and kept. Stomping in an attempt to fix this
Herbie was So Fucking Cold because he was used it having an engine
No one could curse and had to find word alternatives a la the good place and were very unhappy about this
They found out the hard way that “horse” is a slur in equestria by saying it in front of pinkie pie
Every time the ink demon introduced himself, he would keep listing titles until he was interrupted by someone going “ya that’s bendy”
Pinky pie was the first horse they met and decided to add them to the party guest list for her sister’s birthday party
Toph threw a rock at Twilight Sparkle upon first meeting her
“Hi who are you” “I am the melon lord!” “…ok miss melon” -Twilight Sparkle and Toph
Twilight was racist, surprised when the party was mad about the racism, and then generally very stressed by the existence of all of the characters
Twilight Sparkle was horrified to discover that only two of our six person party knew how to read and then took psychic damage from Mapleshade innocently asking what a book was
Data was a wonderful source of knowledge for tricky and complicated subjects such as “what is a horse” and “what is a book” and “what exactly is a princess”
Twilight Sparkle decided Herbie and Data were very polite and took us to Dr. Hooves to figure shit out
Data abandoned the party in pursuit of Science with Dr. Hooves while everyone else went on Friendship Quests
When Herbie said he was from Las Angeles, Twilight took that to mean Las Angeles=Angels=Celestia=Herbie is related to princess celestia and is therefore also a princess
Herbie was introduced as the Princess Herbie, the Princess of Racing and it probably went to his head
Twilight saw Toph, an earth pony earth bend, freaked the buck out, and set up a meeting with her god/mentor to figure out what to do about it
Celestia is Scared of the Implications the party has introduced
One of our IRL human person players held a horse stuffed animal in his mouth like a cat would a kitten for The Bit
Twilight tried to force everyone to hang out with Applejack and Fluttershy (who were arguing about beavers) and had to threaten them with “The Friendship Map says you have to!” For them to agree (yayyy racism!)
Big Mac took one look at the party and noped out of the entire situation. Iconic
Applejack was Not A Fan of anyone in the party
Captain Titus tried to throw a beaver into space but they were too fast and he couldn’t catch one
Titus offered to shoot a beaver for Mapleshade, who wanted to eat and would only accept the sweet, sweet flesh of freshkill
Fluttershy was so so scared but Trying Her Best
Herbie cried from eating an apple (he had never eaten before)
Through the power of friendship and also being Fucking Terrifying, the party successfully scared off a pack of rabid beavers attacking sweet apple acres
Discord knows too much ha ha don’t worry about it that’s fineeee
Discord was having the time of his life messing with us until he wasn’t then he left
Applebloom meant so well but sweetie you can’t say “maybe we can get our cutie marks for helping disabled ponies.” On an unrelated note, Toph learned to metalbend AND got her cutie mark from this experience
Rainbow dash lost a race to Princess Herbie (through the power of Toph Cheating Just A Little Bit) which solidified his title as Princess of Racing
The ink demon is so very proud of his adopted little sister and may have experienced Love for the first time
We now have Plans and Goals (yippee! Only took five sessions! Great DM’ing there, DM!!)
At the birthday party for Maud, Toph earthbent Boulder to fly a bit, which impressed Maud enough to say “hey I have another rock up for adoption do you want it”
Maud and Toph are now friends and Maud promised it read a letter sent to her if Toph sent it
Toph now has Boulder’s Evil Brother, Rock (it/its pronouns) as a confidant. The rock does talk. The rock has surprisingly metal lines. It is a pebble. Only Toph can hear it
Through conversations with Rock, we have discovered Boulder can’t talk, but has an understanding with Maud
Titus reflected on what he had learned and realized he can still be racist but not violent, as he had seen from the entirety of equestria. This inspired him greatly.
The ink demon stared at a black and white painting wistfully for like ten minutes bc the world was too colorful
Player 1 (ink demon): friendship is magic!
Player 2 (twilight sparkle): you can’t say that it’s copyrighted!
Player 1 *exaggerated tone*: …oops!
Everyone: *looks into the distance like they’re in The Office* oops all copyrighted!
Everyone one tried to fight twilight bc she laughed at Toph (she walked very confidently into a wall) (we ended up not doing this, but the ink demon tried really hard)
Twilight (with dread): …can they come back
Herbie gave the gift of a Bacon Soup to Twilight Sparkle, single-handed my saving diplomatic relations with Equestria
We jumped to Voltron bc Twilight was like “get the buck out of my universe, I have enough going on with discord”
We inflicted psychic damage on like four characters this session
The head bonk total is at 6
We almost caused an international (multiversal?) incident by being mean to a princess
You can accomplish all things with a high enough intimidation score
2087
blakekathryn
origamiaround
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
romaincrisis
titsay
theartofmadeline
stormborns
kaledo-art
