clinging to the ruin

Jackson Cassidy. 27. figuring it out or whatever.

[jacksoncassidy]

Full name: Jackson Lucas Cassidy Nicknames: Jack (preferred), Jackie, Jackie-boy (generally annoyed by), Jax, Jay. probably also just ‘hey, you’.  Gender: cismale Pronouns: he/him Birthday: august 8, 1995 Zodiac: leo Sexual orientation: bisexual, heteroromantic  Marital status: single Occupation: bartender at tbd Length of time in town: lifer

STUFF AND THINGS

tw: drugs, prostitution, homelessness, abuse

early life is mostly a blur, but you can read more about it in @ryancassidy‘s intro.

the life situation was incredibly unstable from the jump and it left a big impact on jack. he’ll forever have a chip on his shoulder, forever hold people at an arm’s length because he’s terrified of them leaving

after his mother left him and his brother, jack started acting out in small ways. he began experimenting with drugs, started partying, exploring his sexuality, etc. he wasn’t a bad kid, he just lacked direction

that was a running theme. he’s incredibly smart but incredibly directionless and it’s probably the most frustrating thing about him. he could do anything he wanted, but he chooses to do nothing except follow the next high

and that doesn’t necessarily mean drugs, though there has been a lot of those. whims are his addiction. he’s always looking for the next thing, a human embodiment of chaos. 

was fostered by the kellys for a while after their mom left 

jack thought he was rebelling by staying out and partying but the kellys were super cool and it was kind of impossible to actively work to piss them off after that

has an incredibly ...toxic? up and down, off and on relationship with kadri that’s circled the same drain for years

around 18/19, jack got married to a girl he had only known a few months. not because he was madly in love with her or even wanted to be a husband but just because it was something to do

a reappearance of kadri in his life made sure that fell apart. he wasn’t sad about it

I’LL ADD MORE AS I GET TO KNOW HIM OK

[jacksoncassidy]

ainsleyrhodes​:

…

“That’s cute.” That he thought she’d need sharp objects to do irreparable damage to any parts of his body. “Sadly, your brother hid them all before I got here. But, that’s okay. I don’t need a knife to kill you. I have something much better planned.” Just for the hell of it, Ainsley makes a show of eying the drink in his hand, lips curled into a cheshire smile. “Guess you picked the slowest death.” Once again, she raises her glass in yet another toast. “Here’s to hoping you see my sister’s face when your heart finally stops beating.”

.

Jack’s eyebrows rose like he was impressed, gaze cutting to the drink in his hand. He swirled the contents around and around in the cup he was holding, his eyes cutting back to Ainsley like a dare. Honestly, he wouldn’t put it past her to actually poison him, but he was willing to take his chances. “Ainsley,” he said, her name like a sigh. “You just acknowledged that I have a heart. Is this, dare I say, progress?” And with that, there was nothing but clear intention in his eye as he held hers and chugged the contents of his drink.

[jacksoncassidy]

ryancassidy​:

…

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” At the very least, he was waiting for Kaylee to pass out before he cracked open a bottle. Ryan wasn’t perfect and no one expected him to be but, he still wanted to set a good example where and when he could for the one girl who mattered above all else in his life. “Some of us have responsibilities.” It was Ryan’s way of saying, I’ve got a kid here remember. More so than it was a shot at Jackson’s lack of maturity.

“It’s not going to be your last supper.” Although, after shooting a glance at Ainsley across the table - Ryan’s given enough pause and consideration to realize that may not be entirely true. If Jack’s lucky she might only chew his head off and leave the rest of him alone. But, who really knows with the pray mantis herself. “This might be a strange concept for you to consider but, have you ever thought of apologizing? Or hell, making actual amends?” Whatever that might consist of. “What exactly happened with Kadri anyway? You into her or something?” If that’s the case, he should’ve broken things off with Stori first. Gone about things the right way. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be so on edge all the time. “You can relax. I didn’t invite your mistress. I wouldn’t actually do that to Stori because I know how it feels.” Speaking of which…. Ryan’s eyes swivel from Ainsley to her left, where Sofia sits. There was no hiding the tension in his shoulders as he popped a slice of turkey into his mouth and cut a side glance at Jack.

.

Jack rolled his eyes, though it was good natured enough. He could whine all day about how Ryan had turned into nothing but a stick in the mud since becoming a father, but one: it would be untrue, and two: he admired his brother for how much of himself he gave his child. There were parts of him— ugly, selfish parts hidden deep, deep down in the recesses of his brain— that resented Ryan. It was easier to be mad at him than it was their own mother because at least he’d never left. At least, not really. Although, those years spent being just another kid in foster care, despite how incredibly loving the Kellys had been, would forever remain a mark on his soul. 

But he didn’t bring that up now— didn’t bring it up ever— instead folding his arms with a frustrated huff at the further dissection of his own fucked up life. Ryan didn’t get it. Honestly, Jackson barely did himself most days. “This might be a strange concept for you, but have you considered that I have?” Hurt snuck into the corners of his words, always ready to switch to defense because he knew what people thought of him. Even his own brother, it seemed. “Nothing happened with Kadri.” It was all he was willing to get into on that subject. Kadri had shaken him up in every single way possible. He loved her, might have even been in love with her. But then there was that other side that knew they were no good together, knew he was no good for her. 

Wasn’t that the way it always went?

Ryan’s pointed look in Sofia’s direction was enough to yank the plug on Jack’s thoughts, his own hazel eyes sliding towards Sofia and back. Their situations were not even remotely the same, but Jack wasn’t about to harp on it. “Thanks for the sage advice I didn’t ask for, but you can stop hyperfocusing on me to avoid your own shit. Like why exactly you even invited her here if you were gonna act like a kicked puppy about it.”

[domestrada]

JACK - ryan’s thanksgiving 

@jacksoncassidy​

She was hiding from Kayla’s glares, sitting in the bathtub scrolling tik tok on her phone when the door opened, and the other person she was trying to avoid let himself in. “I should have locked that.” She says as the door clicks shut behind him. “Quick, run out before Kayla thinks I seduced you here for sinful reasons.” Stori rolls her eyes and doesn’t move to leave the tub’s comfort, nor can she stand to look at him for longer than a moment before she picks at the chipped nail polish that used to be a pretty pink. “Is it just me or is this dinner one wrong glance one bad word from total blow out.” She smiles at the thought, “At least it’s not-” Stori stops herself physically biting down on her bottom lip. Pulling her legs up, “I have wine.” She offers shaking the bottle, “One of the girls I saw making eyes at your brother brought it and it looked expensive.”

[jacksoncassidy]

Jack’s steps faltered in the bathroom doorway as his eyes landed on Stori. He paused, hesitated, a heavy swallow getting lodged somewhere in his throat. All he’d wanted was a moment away from the noise— or, he supposed, the noise he had the ability to escape— only to come face to face with an incredibly loud ghost of his past. Again. But he stepped in, anyway, closing the door behind him, slipping into that mask of easy, carefree grins. “I mean, your sister did just threaten to poison me. Or maybe it was that she already did poison me...? Either way.” He shrugged, his long legs crossing the bathroom in just a few short strides. “Move over.” Without waiting for a space to be cleared, he settled into the opposite end of the tub, their legs all but intertwining in ways that were as familiar as they were foreign as he cut out a space for himself. 

He chuckled, a small breathy thing, as he took the offered bottle and shook his head. Swallowing down several large mouthfuls, he wiped at his mouth with the back of his sleeved wrist. “And people say I’m the problem child.” He held the bottle out to survey its label. He knew dick about wine, but he’d never look a stolen gift horse in the mouth. 

He sighed, looking from the bottle to Stori and holding it back out for her to take. But he found himself gazing for a moment, tracing the lines of her face and trying to remember a time when he could read each and every one. “You’ve never struck me as the hide out in the bathroom type. You going soft, Rhodes?”

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jack & Lola

Lola: really?? can't wait to hear it 😊

Lola: HAHAHAHAHA

Lola: I'll bring a special pie just for you 🥰

Lola: After I see dad, yeah. I'm going to stop by.

Jack: i mean lower your expectations first of all lmao

Jack: wow, i've never heard more a more beautiful sentence in my entire life

Jack: the world's best sister mug is yours this year, sry jo

Jack: tell him i say hey

[jacksoncassidy]

kadriyeckose​:

.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him, his rakishly handsome looks punctuated by the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  She had actually kind of enjoyed cigarettes, a post-rehab perk, but she had been unable to afford them for long.  She was tempted to remove the one from his mouth but, instead, she slid into what she freely thought of as ‘her’ spot at his side.  He held his arm up first, so maybe they were equally on board.  Only once the physical greeting was done did she bother with a reply in actual words.  “The going rate is pretty high,” she said, emphasizing her t’s and dragging out the word ‘pretty.’  She was immediately warming as they walked and she was grateful for it.  He was definitely better than the wool coat she’d bought two years ago on clearance.  He also had an uncanny ability to warm her from the inside out instead of the reverse.  

“I don’t have giraffe legs,” she countered, walking at the same rate she had been, completely unbothered by his feedback.  “Unlike some other people involved in this conversation.” 

.

“Have pity on me,” he whined, flashing her with exaggerated puppy dog eyes. “I can afford outlet mall whiles at best. Final offer.” His eyes slid to the sidewalk to watch his feet as he walked. His way here had been just fine, but with Kadri tucked into his side, his balance had been thrown off and his brain was in no shape to adjust itself. 

So he leaned on her. He was no stranger to the sentiment, though it wasn’t usually so literal. The thought made him laugh a little, the sound a quiet rumble in his chest that he turned on her. “Sorry, what was that? You’re gonna have to speak up, little munchkin voices don’t reach all the way up here.”

Eyes crinkled in amusement, he took another hit from his cigarette. It felt a little like mania, the way every cascading brick of his life came tumbling down, piling up like rubble at his feet and all he could do about it was hit back like this. Get drunker, get higher, lose himself inside another person until the noise was finally quieted. Until he could think a little more clearly.

With Kadri by his side, though, he wasn’t sure he was ever thinking clearly.

And to stop that train of thought in its tracks, he shifted the attention front and center and passed it back to her. “You get up to anything tonight?”

[jacksoncassidy]

You were alone, left out in the cold Clinging to the ruin of your broken home Too lost and hurting to carry your load We all need someone to hold You've been fighting the memory, all on your own Nothing worsens, nothing grows I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain We all need someone to stay We all need someone to stay

Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope? At the end of the day you were helpless Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

[joliecassidy]

with @jacksoncassidy​  at ryan’s place for thanksgiving

“If it isn’t my baby boy. I’ve missed you so much.”

[jacksoncassidy]

You know that stomach swoop you get when you miss a stair? Like your body is already prepared to go into free fall, already resigned to its fate of the resulting bone crush to follow? That was how it felt for Jack as his eyes landed on Jolie Cassidy. Some innate part of him, that little boy that stood with his hands out and begging for anything someone was willing to give him, reached for her immediately, even as a small part of him that seemed to understand everything too well— that part he regularly dulled with his vices— forewarned of the aftermath that was sure to come. 

But Jack smiled, wide and boyish. “Hey, mom!” he laughed and wrapped his arms around her, eyes closing on a sigh at the feeling of relief that also felt like an ache rattling around in his chest. He didn’t want to let go, wanted to beg her not to let go. But that felt like such a childish thing to want and he pulled back. “I didn’t know you were coming.” The you didn’t tell me hung in the air unspoken, his smile wilting only a little before the mask was back in place. “Would’ve saved my last joint.”

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jo & JJ

Joey: Maybe not, but still.

Joey: DO I SEEM LIKE A KOOLAID MAN EXPERT.

Jack: yes

Jack: i thought that was obvious

[jacksoncassidy]

ryancassidy​:

…

Leave it to Jack to make Thanksgiving dinner a full time job, which granted yeah, cooking was Ryan’s thing but babysitting was not. Rather than ask his little brother to keep an eye out for his daughter, Ryan instructed Kaylee to make sure her uncle Jack kept his paws off the table until it was time to eat.

“Well, if you didn’t pre-game by getting high before you came you wouldn’t be salivating at the mouth like an animal.” Ryan shot Jack a borderline ‘it’s your own fault’ sort of look before cracking a smile and chuckling as his baby bro practically inhaled part of his plate. “Slow down, shit. There’ll be enough for you to take home. Besides, I don’t wanna have to clean up chunks of you off the upholstery.” As if to drive the warning home, Ryan gives Jack a light pat to the back of his shoulder. “If you didn’t want her to come, you probably shouldn’t have waited 48 hours before Thanksgiving to tell me you thought you were divorced. How the hell am I supposed to keep up?”

.

Jack scoffed good naturedly. “Are you gonna tell me you haven’t had anything to drink today? Thanksgiving is nothing but pre-game followed by dinner, dude. That’s, like, the point.” He matched Ryan’s you brought this on yourself look with one of his own that said duh. 

It was harder to jokingly play off just how mixed up having Stori back in his space had left him so he was silent for a beat. “You know why I’m eating like I’m trying to blow chunks on your upholstery? Because this is probably my last meal, Ry. If Stori doesn’t finish me off, you think Ainsley’s gonna leave me alive? It’s like you sent personal, embossed invitations to all of my worst nightmares. I’m actually surprised Kadri isn’t here too.” And as if on cue, the doorbell rang and he leveled Ryan with a dry look. “If that’s her I’m gonna fling myself off the roof and haunt you for the rest of your life.”

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jack & Lola

Lola: JACKIE!!

Lola: The highest of praises coming from you 🥰

Lola: You'll be at Ry's on Thursday, right?

Jack: i've been working on a cover of july, i gotta show you next time i see you so you can deflate my ego

Jack: bet your ass i will be, i'll never turn down free food

Jack: does that mean you're coming??

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jo & JJ

Joey: Oh yeah, going over meetings tomorrow and dissecting my new article. Sexy stuff.

Joey: Depends if the insides of the Koolaid man are his lifeblood or not.

Jack: hey, we don't kink shame in this family

Jack: what else would it be, jo!!!

[ainsleyrhodes]

open to everyone at ryan’s place on thanksgiving

“Cheers to not being the drunkest one here.”

[jacksoncassidy]

Jack was certain Ainsley wasn’t talking to him. Mostly because there were no threats or pointy objects involved. But he’d still managed to make it into her direct line of sight anyway and whatever path to obscurity he’d wished to take with her died a quick, but not at all painless, death. Jack held up his own drink. “Cheers to hopefully being too drunk to find the knife drawer on your first try.”

[slamina]

open starter for everyone, at ryan’s place thanksgiving evening

“So, what do you think?” The Thanksgiving spread only took several hours to prepare and by the end, every moment he spent slaving away to make the best homecooked meal his friends and family could ask for, seemed well worth it. “Having fun?”

[jacksoncassidy]

Jack had a serious case of the munchies and the smells emanating from the kitchen for what felt like most of the day might have made him literally salivate while he waited for the go ahead to dig in. He’d been chased out of the room no less than four times trying to sneak a little piece of something here and a little bite of something else there, but now, with his empty plate in hand, he began doling out too-big scoops of everything, ready to go absolutely ham. Or, more festively, turkey.

“I think if you make me use my face hole for anything that’s not shoveling food directly into my empty stomach, we’re gonna have to take this outside,” Jack challenged with a grin, popping a deviled egg into his mouth even as he continued piling food onto his plate. Around a mouthful, he said, “you mean now that I’m finally not starving to death while you watch and do nothing? I’m having a wonderful time. Have I thanked you yet for inviting my wife?” 

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jack & Lola

Jack: have you listened to that new lola kelly album yet? it SLAPS

Jack: album of the year EASY

[jacksoncassidy]

📱📲 Jo & JJ

Joey: I was waiting on a text from my boss.

Joey: Wouldn't you cut the hell out of your hand?

Jack: scandalous

Jack: cut to shit hand > being drained of all your insides

Jack: so what you're saying is, i would win

[maleadjusted3]

Nick Robinson