Simultaneously Weird & Normal

Different yet the same, simultaneously weird and normal. That's just who I am.

[jade-swan]

My favorite/closest aunt and uncle hope that I find a nice guy. Unfortunately, their criteria for recommending guys to me seem to be that they’re single and around the same age… I don’t know whether to find this situation amusing or not lol

[jade-swan]

Broke down crying today.

Recently made a new playlist based on the song/idea Alone With My Thoughts by Josh A. Rihanna’s Diamonds was recommended to me.

I’ve been getting free gifts out of nowhere recently. A free parfait when I went to treat myself to dessert. An extra slice of cake when I went to get one free slice. A free phone screen, though this last one was a marketing strategy. A free lesson kit for reasons I don’t know.

Were people being nice to me because I look nice? Because I am nice? Just because they want to?

I struggle with feelings of worthlessness and undeservedness all the time. What have I done to deserve what I have?

But maybe I’m just overthinking things. Am I always kind to people because they’ve done something for me? No, sometimes I just want to be kind. Sometimes I just want to make someone smile.

Shine like a diamond.

A diamond only shines when the light hits it. Perhaps we’re all diamonds and just need a bit of light to make us shine. And often, we don’t see our own shine.

Don’t stay hidden away. Let yourself shine.

[jade-swan]

"Um... Rocky, you can make screws, right?"

"Yes. Easy. Why, question?"

"I dropped one."

"Hold screws better."

"How?"

"Use hand."

"My hand's busy with the wrench."

"Use second hand."

"My other hand's on the hull to keep me steady."

"Use third han--hmm. Get beetles. I make new screws."

"Okay."

[jade-swan]

"We stay with Earth units or you get confused. How long is Earth day, question? And how many Earth days is one Earth year, question?"

"One Earth day is 86,400 seconds. One Earth year is 365.25 Earth days."

"Understand. I am here forty-six years."

"Forty-six years?! Earth years?!"

"I am here forty-six Earth years, yes."

He's been stuck in this system for longer than I've been alive...

"How...how long do Eridians live?"

"Average is six hundred eighty-nine years."

"Earth years??"

"Yes. Always Earth units. You are bad at math, so always Earth units."

I can't even speak for a moment.

[jade-swan]

I fist-pump. “Yes! I’m definitely going to die!”

I don’t know why I said that.

[jade-swan]

Project Hail Mary is taking me longer than expected to read. Been wondering why and I think it’s one part I’m lazy-busy (lol) and one part the story is engaging but there’s something about the main character’s personality or the undertone of the story that makes me feel a bit of dread looming in the future.

It reminds me of reading the manga Bloody Monday way back when - the bad guys were always one or several steps ahead and things did not go well for the main characters. In Hail Mary, the main character is dealing with so many unknowns that I’m always expecting something to go wrong. Things keep going wrong…

Though now I’m at the point where it’s almost to the end so I’m theorizing how will a happy ending happen, if there is one (I’m very much hoping everyone is saved like in every other Weir book lol). I’m betting on Grace sacrifices himself to go save his best friend Rocky. You have to save Rocky!!! D8 And then Rocky will save Grace back somehow because Rocky is amazing like that. 8P

[jade-swan]

I want to spend the rest of my life studying Eridian biology! But I have to save humanity first. Stupid humanity. Getting in the way of my hobbies.

[jade-swan]

Ok, I really want to watch Project Hail Mary and see how they deal with the alien interaction part. 8D

I highly doubt it will be done well because so much detail will be lost in the language-learning part, but…maybe??? Hopefully?????? I’m not a fan of alien stories but this story is so entertaining and really makes me think about the science.

Rocky is probably the only multi-legged character that I enjoy reading about lol. That I can remember anyway.

[jade-swan]

All right, genius brain: come up with something!

…I’m hungry.

You have failed me, brain.

[jade-swan]

I know Liberia uses imperial units but I don’t know my own name. That’s irritating.

[jade-swan]

Decided to relearn crochet and chose a “beginner” donut project.

I forgot how much my perfectionist tendencies flare up whenever I work on any creative/tangible project.

I’ve already restarted this donut three times… I keep miscounting and forgetting stitch numbers. Either my memory has deteriorated terribly when it comes to counting or I’m just easily distracted. No more guessing! Going back to my trustworthy method of marking and recording EVERY STITCH SLOWLY.

If this donut is not done this time…w(ﾟДﾟ)w

[jade-swan]

Also, on Earth, they usually bury pipelines to protect the system from weather, animals, and idiot humans. We don’t do that here. Why would we? We don’t have weather or animals and all the idiot humans are mostly confined to the city.

Funny/sassy main character lol

[jade-swan]

Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else.

Good to know.

I’m so glad I found something I wanted to quote from Artemis by Andy Weir. I’m back to the old days of reading for hours into the dead of night/morning because the story is just so good. Who won’t love a good science-fiction mystery crime thriller? XD

[jade-swan]

Taking my own advice to listen to audiobooks while I drive. I’ve found that I prefer nonfiction; just a lot more picky when it comes to fiction audiobooks (more characters so the reader needs to be realllllllly good). Currently listening to Napoleon’s Buttons, which is a fun way of learning about 17 different organic compounds and how they influenced history. The wannabe-biochemist in me approves.

John Green’s Tuberculosis book was also a great listen, especially since the author read it. I like Niel deGrasse Tyson’s personality and humor, but outer space is still my less favorite science subjects so I couldn’t pay attention to his reading about astrophysics. I did perk up when he talked about chemistry lol.

Sooooo many books and subjects that I want to get through and study this summer…

[jade-swan]

My new favorite side character got a wonderful daughter after being a grumpy wise old guy for half his life. *so many tears*

Awwwww Pursuit of Jade is cute, funny, and so touching at times amidst the cruelties of life and war.

[jade-swan]

Oh look, I finally remembered I have tumblr. Will I do anything here? Hmmmm probably not…

What’s been happening?

Finally reading that book that I probably got when I was first suspected to be suffering from depression over ten years ago. Yeah…the depression has gotten to the point that I really need to work on it. Still iffy about chatting with a stranger though.

Finally practicing kickboxing! It’s been nice so far. Going to try to commit for a year and see how I do. Hopefully I can do at least two workouts a week.

Other than that, same as usual. Instagram has taken over a lot of my time. Informative stuff, silly stuff, mostly silly stuff I guess.

[jade-swan]

I have to let go.

Doors are closing.

Hearts are broken

Hearts are breaking.

I have to let go.

You will find a better place.

You all will find temporary peace.

A heart is closing.

I have to let go

Let go of my safety net

To walk a safe path.

Let go of my free spirit

To have a free mind.

Just let go.