Enter The Storm

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@constantinepayne Sup, stranger!

constantinepayne

Hey, isn’t there some kind of reward I get for finding you? The missing poster said free drinks.

Free drinks? Damn man, you’re easy to please. Dude, you ditch you-know-who and come to Hull sometime.

#constantinepayne

explosm

Tell us what you see below, and then read the rest right here: http://explosm.net/comics/4570/ ?

#cool shit #likes

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@constantinepayne Sup, stranger!

#constantinepayne

#photo #jaegerstrom

explosm

By Rob. Tag a friend who isn’t a doctor, but who thinks they are. Knock that off! You’ve gotta go to school for, like, 30 years before you’re allowed to make hypotheses about the health and wellbeing of others!⠀ ⠀ We’re not doctors over at www.explosm.net, but we’ll still tickle your funny bone!

#likes #cool shit

To: Little shit From: The fuck else would give ya anything?

Sharing the fucking booze. Not letting ya having all of that. Sweets that look like crozzled assholes might as well have the wrinkles spell out your name. Fucking use the shits however ya want. Know haven’t gotten fucked any. Just don’t want to see any of that kinky shit, yeah?

#domhoratiomd #likes #photo #cool shit #christmas

Now that’s some fucking kick-ass libation. Cool shit, fucktard. Merry fucking Christmas to you too, man.

#photo #likes #cool shit #//let's HC Jaeger made that for Xmas

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JINGLE-BELL- RITA’S

(From left to right) Strawberry daquiri mix Tequila Silver-blended with ice Topped with crushed green popsicle

99 Green Apple Tequila Silver Green Apple Koolaid mix-blended with ice. Pina Colada Mix Coconut rum blended with ice. Pour half strawberry mix in cup, and half pina colada mix in. Topped with crushed green & red popsicles

Strawberry daquiri mix Tequila silver- blended with ice Pina colada mix, coconut rum- blended with ice - pour half strawberry mix in, then half pina colada mix- Top with crushed Popsicles…garnish glass with red/gold/silver glitter.

Instagram Photo Credit :@fusioncocktails

Post your original recipe and photo on Instagram using #TipsyBartender and we will repost the best ones. Each month, the pics with most likes wins $300, 2nd Place $200, 3rd Place: $100.

#drinkporn #cocktail #foodporn #liquor #alcohol #booze #club #bar #drink #mixology #yummy #amazing #dessert #instagood #strawberrydaiquiri #99greenapple #tequila #pinacolada ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Shadowchef || SW & Jam

Lemme show ya. Come here, sweetheart. [Gently, yet clumsily, Shadow Wolfe’s hand is taken before Horatio seems to take a good look at it for the first time.] Aw.. got tiny bit arms and shit! Look at them! Make ‘em flop bout, ya could. Shit, right, making fart noises, yeah? Get this mitt here and get it in the pit of the other. Like that. Take that arm and.. [Guiding their limbs like a life-size doll, the Brit fails to make the miracle of childish foolery appear.] Fucking Hell.. Works if there’s sweat to push out. Hold. [Spit gets ejected on his palm before plastering it underneath the child’s arm. The motion is tried immediately, working with enormous success to make the adult beam.] Yeah! There! How’s it done, that is. Never cracked open a mermaid before. Could be a fucking piñata of lungs, don’t know. Fucking mysterious life they’ve got themselves. Aw! Look at your face doing that thing! Look like a shaved coconut! Goddamnit! [A hug is rushed at them, knocking him slightly off balance.] Nah.. bloody little shit be alright. Heard that all the rotten turds just float to the top, be alright there. Don’t worry your little bit self over any damn bird you meet up. Not gonna hear out anything of use, anyhows. Best intervention for the lot of them’s got a head with a rubber suit on it, quits making more of them, eh? Can have anything ya want, little bit. Favourite Goduncle of yours, yeah?

PISS OFF! DIDN”T ASK YA SHIT! Fucking tasteful… shit flavoured, innit?! The fuck’d want to take a lick of that? Not fucking rude! Goddamn honest! Most fucking honest bastard round! [Completely ignoring the command, a new bottle is given to the little one.] Oy, sweeheart! Want to see if I can drink whilst being on my back. Pour this shit over when ready.

vidrisshadowwolfe

Godfather Jaeger! C: What placees in Eatty Europe are super? Shadow Wolfe will ask Dad Wolfe-Cain and Father iWolfe about visiting Dad Wolfe-Cain and Father iWolfe’s countries. Why is Monaco so tiny? Why is tiny country so expensive? Are things in Monaco made out of supererer things? C:

Oy! Goduncle Horatio! C: Shadow Wolfe is flopping flopping, there’s no sounds. Shadow Wolfe is confused. Hooray! Water is magical! Water and floppy arms make funny sounds. C: What’s pinanana? Goduncle Horatio’s Shadow Wolfe’s super favoritest! Goduncle Horatio is the superest goduncle, Shadow Wolfe wants to go on more fun trips with Black pack! C:

#vidrisshadowwolfe #domhoratiomd #para #f2f #shadowchef

I’d say go visit some of the places that used to be part of USSR, shit load of history and stuff there, but should make sure them places are safe though, never know. Monaco used to be part of a larger country, and then at some point they came to some kind of agreement and became its own country or something. It’s wealthy cuz of tax breaks for the rich and the casino business. I wouldn’t call them superior, they’re just different, ya know? But nice scenery and shit.

Dude, you can be honest and classy. Stop being so fucking lazy and make a goddamn effort if you really want to get with hot girls. Aw hell no! No more alcohol! I ain’t cleaning up if you puke all over the place!

Pantry Raid || SW/Jam

vidrisshadowwolfe

Goduncle Horatio! C: Shadow Wolfe is happy the food is yummy for everyone. Shadow Wolfe likes to share good things. C:

Godfather Jaeger! C: Shadow Wolfe promises to pick good things for the next challenge. It’ll be super superer fun! C:

Chef Ramsey! Baby foods are funny! They are all liquid and paste and funny-looking. C: Shadow Wolfe promises to be super creative with fun things! Hooray for new cooking! C:

Chef Elliott! Milk is super! Shadow Wolfe likes milk, Shadow Wolfe thinks milk is healthy and good for bones! What’s the next item? Shadow Wolfe wants to find out! C:

[Ramsay, with his palm tucked beneath his chin and lone finger up by the edge of his curving mouth, watches as the first option is unveiled.] Sorry, did you say camel’s milk? [The grin breathes its own laugh, a wisp of humoured air that is just a stifled version of its original cut created from the mixture of a colourful, corny, and juvenile mind.] That comes from the hump, yes? There’s a special pump that connects–damn. Nothing for you to hear quite yet, Shadow.

Now! While they may seem pasty and funny looking, that’s a problem only for the rest of the Masterchef Junior home-cooks to worry about. Because!… you will not be cooking in tonight’s elimination test. With that out of your mind, the next choice may not come easily to yours or most here in the west when thinking of baby foods, but in places like India, China, Japan.. they hold traditions based on this food. [The Jeopardy styled intro concludes, and the next dome whips off to show a clear bowl of overflowing rice.] Rice! Basmati, Arborio, Jasmine… This is in every pantry around the globe. But! Too much time in the cooker, and you’ll get real baby food grade mush. Too short of time, and it’s enough to break newborn teeth. Can be tricky and deceptive in its simplicity.

#vidrisshadowwolfe #pantryraid #domhoratiomd #para #f2f

Yeah, man. Super superer fun to the max! We’ve got faith in you, lil Wolfe! [The tallest watches the screen with rapt attention, knowing that there will be twists and tricks that come with the elimination challenge.] Oh, fuck yeah!! [An exuberant cheer follows upon knowing his godchild is safe from elimination.] You’re off to an awesome start, buddy! [Though the hollering is most likely inaudible in the next room, Jaeger cheers nonetheless, doing a victory fist pump in celebration.]

Exactly, and there’s more. [Picking up where Gordon Ramsey has left off, the bespectacled chef continues.] This one should be familiar for everyone, and it might even be one of the favorites - Fruits. Apple sauce, orange juice, the sweet-tasting part of baby foods. But since this is MasterChef Junior, we’re not going to be limiting fruit groups to simply the norm. [Graham gestures to the corner of the pantry where an abundance of fruits are displayed.] There’ll be a choice for other fruits as well: durian, dragonfruit, mangosteen. Sky’s the limit.

What's something you wished your mun had done differently about your storyline?

Well, fuck. There’s a shit load of stuff that I wish my mun could’ve done differently. For starter, Ritter shouldn’t have been in a coma, and I shouldn’t have that shitty-ass designation. Then she had goddamn psycho Light broke my wrist and then as if life isn’t shit enough as it is, the moment I finally had some semblance of normalcy and happiness, she fucking killed off Ritter. What the actual fuck, Etienne?! How fucking dare you!!!?!

That aside, gotta give her credit for helping me on the brodom with Viggo and fucktard. But still, my mun sucks for the most part.

#ask #reply #Anonymous

tipsybartender:

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This one is f*cking crazy! NIGHT NIGHT DADDY SHOTS based on the @SinisterMovie. Click on the link in my bio to watch us make it and see the recipe.

Post your original recipe and photo on Instagram using #TipsyBartender and we will repost the best ones. Each month, the pics with most likes wins $300, 2nd Place $200, 3rd Place: $100.

#drinkporn #cocktail #foodporn #cocktails #liquor #alcohol #booze #club #bar #drink #mixology #drinkup #yummy #amazing #instagood #sinister2 #sinister #bacardi #jagermeister #midori ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

#cool shit #photo #likes

#cool shit #likes #photo #queue

tipsybartender:

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ MI OREOLATINA 4 Oreo Cookies ½ oz. (15ml) Kahlua ½ oz. (15ml) Bailey’s 3 oz. (90ml) Whipping Cream 1 Tablespoon of Honey Splash of Martini Gold

Instagram Photo Credit: @morenabar1996

Post your original recipe and photo on Instagram using#TipsyBartender and we will repost the best ones. Each month, the pics with most likes wins $300, 2nd Place $200, 3rd Place: $100.

#drinkporn #cocktail #foodporn #cocktails #liquor #alcohol #booze #club #bar #drink #mixology #drinkup #yummy #amazing #instagood #kahlua #baileys #honey ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

explosm

#likes #hilarious shit #cool shit #queue

explosm:

By Dave. "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see http://www.explosm.net.” - Aristotle

Boozy Call || Ira/Jam

Ira: [The phone doesn't need to ring twice; it's picked up by the end of the first tone, expecting the commanded call. Before either party on the other end can begin, the grandfather's voice snaps through the speaker.] What were you thinking with that debacle of a trip you took my grandchild on?

Jaeger: [He knows it can't be good news when Ira Wolfe of all people wanted to have a call with them, but drudging up the past wasn't something expected.] Dude, chillax. We just wanted the lil Wolfe to have fun.

#irawolfe #boozycall #phone #irajam

Shadowchef || SW & Jam

#vidrisshadowwolfe #domhoratiomd #para #f2f #shadowchef

vidrisshadowwolfe:

dom-horatio-md:

Hamumumumroasty… Fuck yeah, love that shit! Want to have a laugh at something, get your hand up neath your pit. Makes a damn noise when ya slam down on it, like fanny batter farts. Mermaids are fucking leeches with tits, little bit. Like a bloody dream waist up, but don’t even know if they’ve got a hole to plug up any. Could be all just trannies that get their cocks swollen up from all the water, nough to grow gills on them, yeah? Should throw the little shit in the water, see if he starts growing scales on his ass. Hot flash comes on to all the birds that got their twats no longer making the crimson tide. Don’t know, think they’d like not shitting out blood and guts, but pissy slew of bitches sweat it out stead. Looking like they could explode like a goddamn nuclear bomb. Aw.. [Beaming at the compliment, a new bag of sweets is ripped open for it to pour in their hands, most overflowing.] There ya are. Last batch.

TOP A FUCKING SNAKE HOLE, YA LITTLE SHIT! All these bleeding faggot words.. Couldn’t just talk normal neither. Pepperoni topping probs means some kinky ass sausage fest. AURGH. PISS FLAPS! FUCKING GIVING ADVICE ON FUCKING BIRDS?! ONLY GOT ONE UNDER YOUR BELT, AND BET SHE BROUGHT ON SOME FUCKING PLUG TOPPING IN YOUR ASS. FUCKING HELL. What’re ya going on bout with this poison?! IS THIS FUCKING POISONED?![In a fit of sudden drunken miscommunication, the nearly empty bottle is yanked away before thrown over at the other side of the RV like a grenade, smashing against the wall.] Christ… was close one there.. Have to get nother now.

Godfather Jaeger! C: What are some of the lesserserer known placees? What’s Monaco? Why is extravant? C: Father iWolfe knows French, Dad Wolfe-Cain knows Arabic and Persian. Should Shadow Wolfe go to France, Saudi Arabee and Persian places? C:

Goduncle Horatio! C: Shadow Wolfe doesn’t understand, how does Shadow Wolfe does that? Can Goduncle Horatio show Shadow Wolfe? C: Mermaids have gills on their tails? Is it because mermaids have many lungs? C: Goduncle Horatio shouldn’t push Godfather Jaeger into the water, what if Godfather Jaeger can’t swim? :O Shadow Wolfe feels bad for birdies, they seem to be sick all the time, Shadow Wolfe wishes there’s an invention that can help them. C: Hooray for sweets and super drinks! Thank you Goduncle Horatio! C:

Lesser known places would be like the smaller countries out in Eastern Europe, Latin America, and down in the Africas. Aw, dude, Monaco’s like the tiniest country in the world, man. Like imagine two square miles or something like that for an entire country. Expensive as fuck, but there’re some nice places and shit to see. Loads of rich people live there, so yeah everything is just over the top luxury. Yeah, definitely get your dads to take you to places they're familiar with first. And those are good choices, culture and shit.

Just because you have no idea how to be fucking tasteful doesn’t mean everyone’s gay! Go ask a girl next time if you don’t believe me. Crude and rude just make people think you’re a dirty creep. Don’t blame me if you get deck and shit. Dude, what the fuck’s wrong with you?! Hell no, no more alcohol for you today. Go to bed, fucktard!

Text: Call me on speaker phone with Horatio. Now.

[The text is read with a puzzled look, before a casual shrug is given.] Whatever. Yo, fucktard! The Gramps wanna talk to us!

#iraxwolfe