jaesonv

[jaesonv]

Game over—

All we need to hear is a beautiful lie

An untrue melody that fiddles with the heart

Giving the defeated soul, a hint of hope

To win again

In the unfair game called Life

Where no one's a winner, and no one's a loser

All we are, are mere players

Playing to live,

Cheating on death

Running from something

Running for something

Trying to escape the harsh truth

Disguising ourselves in superficial joy

Hiding from our inner regrets

With a broken heart

And a fucked up mind

We play in hope

Sometimes a lie can heal wounds faster than love

It's a cafe—

We expect love from strangers

Serving our coldness to the close ones

It's like a subway—

We board the train of delusions

Leaving the reality behind

Being hard on ourselves

Trying to be someone we're not

"Oh he just wants attention"

But we change for the sake of others

To see that faint smile

Struggling to find a reason to live

A reason to love

But who am I to judge

Who am I to say

I'm also a player

You can never see both sides of a coin

I'll just flip mine

Accepting the fate

Playing by rules

Win

Lose

Who cares

I'm running the track

Even if it isn't the one I was meant to run

I feel like I'm flying

And I wanna take u with me

Just grab on

Let's fly

Let's win together

Let's lose together

At the end,

It's that smile I breathe for

Let it be the one I'd run for

So tell me...

Will you be with me,

When the Game's over?

~

[jaesonv]

Let's do every little things we can except fall in love, Deal?

Let's stay awake till 4am and blabber about random things, and not fall in love

Let's go for long walks with no destination, and not fall in love

Let's sing our favourite songs together and pretend to have our own concerts, and not fall in love

Let's go to all the restaurants and eat like we haven't eaten in a long time, and not fall in love

Let's hold hands and let our fingers play, and not fall in love

Let's do everything we dream of inspired from all those books and movies, and not fall in love

Because I've heard, that love ruins everything

So let's do every little things we can except fall in love, Deal?

~

[jaesonv]

These butterflies-

They keep flying in me

They live in me now

They come back when she comes

They won't leave

Even if she does-

These butterflies

Are the only closest thing to me rn

But why doesn't she gets it

It's call cuz of her

"Wut do u want then?"

Ppl ask

With actually no interest whatsoever

I just say...

"Let them be free"

Someone take these petty things

These butterflies

Flying in my stomach

And let em reach out

Fly to her

Let her know

They're now no more there—

~

[jaesonv]

The rainbow after a storm

The flowers blooming

The wet grass with a hint of dew

Burst into color that day

When i saw you gazing at the crimson sky

And fell in love

Every dream we painted on

That blank film roll of our mind

Will stay forever etched

In my memories

It was you, my special one

Who opened my eyes

When we hold hands

The stars in the night sky above us

Will show us

There can be light in darkness

So stop hiding your sorrow

Behind that dazzling smile

And let me meet you

Touch you

Let those stars shine brightly on you

The hopes and fears we cling to

Let them be the guiding lights

That leads us into a whole new world

Where we'd be together

Forever—

~

[jaesonv]

In the dark of the bluest night

I stood by your shadow and abode

Winds and walls all heard us

I took your palm , cold with desire

Touched my lips , like a reverie

It wasn't a kiss , it wasn't a touch

It was a promise of forlorn ages.

~

[jaesonv]

I know I'm not your first choice

I'm certainly not the last

But I am the one who cares about you

Whether 2 in night

Or 7 in morning

I'll be there... whenever you'll need me

I may not show it

You may not see

But the feelings are real

It hurts sometimes

When someone does not appreciate

The point of your existence

It hurts

When you say things that are not true

When your voice turns harsh

That's so not you

The things you said

You knew that wasn't true

I was broken

Shattered into pieces

Still you threw daggers at me

Knowing they would wound me

Leave a deep scar

Which might take forever

Or never to heal

But what's done is done

It's wasn't your fault anyway

It was me all along

Putting my guard down

Thinking you were not like the others

Sharing my secrets

My deepest desires

The pain, the agony

The happiness within misery

U knew all of me

Yet I didn't know you at all

I was shocked

Petrified

I never expected it to come from you

But I guess that's the truth

If you say so

U know I love you

But do u as well?

But that doesn't matter now

I trusted you once

I might do it again

That's the human nature

Once we trust someone

We can't let them go

It's just that....

Will you do the same

If I did that to u?

~

[jaesonv]

Sitting idle on my desk

Papers lying around

Hands stained in ink

I gaze outside

Wondering about us

The future-

Would it be what we dream of each night?

Would it go like we want?

I see birds on branches

Chirping

Maybe ranting to those wooden scars

Made by their own claws

Flying away

The branch still waits

Knows they'll return

Cuz both can't stay away from each other

For too long

I see children on streets

Two 4-yo holding hands

It takes me back to you....

I see them play

Walk down the path

With hands to hold

And i see the look on their faces

Their face shouting,

"We'll make it, I'm here"

Here i am-

Surrounded by metaphors and anaphoras

Writing on the back of my question paper

Thinking of you again

After every good

As the bell rings

I don't wanna leave

Hey paper,

Are you my best friend?

Why am I telling you all this?

Why am i sharing my pain with you?

Can you connect me to her?

Can you tell her how I feel right now?

Just relay my feelings to her wil you?

Just whisper in her ears

Or let her fingers feel the dried ink

Forming words....

Cuz i know her eyes are blurry

Just let her know-

I love her

I miss her

And I'm nothing without her

~

[jaesonv]

Haven't you tried it?

Writing notes on your mirror with a dark lipstick; flaunting off your mind on every mantle of your room-

Wherever your eyes can see, you see a piece of your unshared mind-

Did you know that the kitchen is solely for dancing and not just cooking?

You don't need a person to make u feel like a princess-

You're a goddess; enchanting and filled with beauty, passion and power-

With the sun up and the city on rush, have u looked at it from your blanket, freshly woken up from a dream where you live the life u fantasize about-

The soft daze between sleep and wakefulness—

Like an Angel, lounging in the clouds; A small bliss but one to be thankful for-

Spending long time in showers, playing with your body and soul

With your favorite music echoing in the background-

Have u ever just put on a random cassette of song on loop, maybe something u love and wanna devour inch by inch;

Or maybe something u hate and wanna criticize till a point u start to love its imperfections?

Live a day like u wanna live your life. Fuck stress, fuck society, fuck ppl whose voices u won't remember later on-

Live, dream, devour like a goddess; the days of solitude and simple pleasures—

[jaesonv]

Home Sweet Home 🏡

And it starts again....

The constant visions in sleepless nights

I see things people do not dare to imagine;

Is it the people? Or the place that keeps me up

I'm evil, I'm numb

I guess there's no escaping

Running around the world for the peace

I should've found here—

~

[jaesonv]

Busy night

I stroll around the lit streets of your town

Drunk, no i had no alcohol

The air had its own drugs

Walking in a crowd

No familiar faces

Surrounded by giant lights and hoardings

I stop suddenly

My eyes gazing over the dark window

A single window

In a wall of tainted bricks

Those sepia vibes flaunting

Because of your lamps

I see a silhouette

A girl in her PJs

Messy bun and a pen between her teeth

Walking around her room

Her face hidden behind her tresses

She kept putting behind her ears

Oh, why did the world stop—

Where were the strangers gone?

The noisy night....where is it?

Why can't my eyes get off of her barred beauty?

Why can't my feet move any further?

Why did I stand there...forgetting everything I had to do—

Everywhere I had to be—

Why can't my mind stop picturing her as an angel?

I see her

Stretching her body

Yawning with her hands caressing her lips

Why did I get jealous of those fingers?

Taking off her t-shirt

Laced red lingerie hugging her porcelain skin

Why can't my hands move to her?

As she closed her lamps

I saw her eyes

Wild and fierce

Looking at me

Why did my heart skipped a beat?

Who was she to me?

Who was she—

I kept on wondering

As I stretched myself out of another beautiful dream of you~

.

[jaesonv]

Don't go

Let's stick around

Just for a while

Let's share our secrets

The one's we're hiding deep beneath our soul

The one's too embarrassing to share

Let's laugh together

On our past-selves

On the silly things, we did as kids

Let's dance together

Forgetting the past

Away from the present

In the night sky

Filled with twinkling beauties

Beneath that starry blanket

Let's hold hands

And promise to never let go

Let all our desires

Melt in our eyes

Fall in form of tears

Let's kiss

Passion filled in the silence of the night

Two tender lips shall not part

Away from this ecstasy

Let me gaze

At your unreal persona

Picturing you mine

As we share our darkest desires

Let's not wake up

From this lovely premise

When all the blossoms are gone

And we are miles away

With a heart filled with regrets

And eyes filled with tears

Let's try

For me

For us

'Til the last snow hits the ground

~

[jaesonv]

All the star fell from the sky leaving the moon lonely,

Where would he go to find someone who'd love him like the stars?

Looking down in search of his stars, he saw him

sitting idle on grass still wet from rain, or maybe his tears.

Both look at each other

The star fell from the sky, to make room for two lovers~

[jaesonv]

Tonight I'm drunk

Drunk on words

Served in a glass of my miseries

And I'm drinking

Amidst a court filled of other drinkers

Some like me, some more miserable

Words trickling down from the edge of my glass

From the corners of their lips drips lust

Lust dressed in rhythm and manners

I reek of loneliness

I drink the words

Served to me

~

[jaesonv]

All my words,

Are for you now

All my songs,

Would sing to your beats

All my ways,

Shall lead me to you

All my nights,

Shall dream of you

All my might,

Would protect u and only you

My arms shall hold

Only you, my dear

My lips won't know

The taste of any other

My eyes would only

Speak of your beauty

All my tears

Would be named yours

My skin would perish

And this mind would shut

But this heart,

All my love,

Deserves only your name

These winds would carry

My tears and my tales

Wrapped in their care

They'll reach you someday

As you stroll your room

From the cracks of your window

All of me,

Would lay in your feet

As my body fades,

I become more and more....Yours—

~

[jaesonv]

Roses bloom in your heart

Beautiful they call it, seeing the petals brush

Gentle caresses, as your heart blushes

Giving color to the roses

While no one appreciates

How you hold the thorns, pierced deep in your heart

Silent, it bleeds

It's the blood not blush—

That dyes the rose red

~

[jaesonv]

I see stars fall

Shattered in pieces

They travel across the skies

Brightening the night sky

Amidst the beauty i see you

Standing angelic in your balcony

Coffee in hand, it's steam stains your glasses

A messy bun, and an oversize tee

You look at those stars falling with peace in your eyes

And demons in your mind

Your gaze shifts, catching me stealing glimpes

Of your lost eyes

And your porcelain skin

Glistening— bathed under the light of the moon

You catch me, looking into my amazed eyes

As Austen wrote;

I was bewitched~

Our eyes hold memories, so dear so long

Our eyes hold fear, some from future, some of past-

Under the broken star, i found you

I found the peace, the longing

I found myself—

[jaesonv]

There's an ache in my heart. 

I've forgot since when.

There isn't one reason for it to make home in me.

I'm short on fingers, on breaths

It beats in me, involuntary. 

No rest it takes, none it gives

It is my family.

It is my love.

It is the sights i see 

With my eyes wide open.

With my eyes closed tight.

It is my desires

The darkest ones.

It is the banquet of my goods

It is the villain who feasts.

It's never satisfied.

It never sleeps.

It never stops.

It feeds. 

On my past and future,

It is my present.

Leeching to my heart.

There's an ache in my heart.

I've forgot since when.

I'd take it with me.

I'd keep it closed in me.