it's just. WHY are there not more fics where harm and mac go through with the baby deal, I NEED it
the epitome of getting what you want but not the way you wanted
i need mutual pining in ridiculous amounts
i need both of them struggling with their respective daddy issues and worrying over how they'll be as parents, and reassuring each other
i need harm pining after mac because of course he was always going to keep his promise, but he just wishes mac wanted the baby *and* him, not just a baby. and they'll always be friends, if nothing else the past eight years have proven that, but eventually mac will find someone she actually loves and he doesn't know how he's survive the rest of his life being part of her life but not really in her life. raising a kid while pining after mac for twenty plus years isn't fair to mac or the kid, but he's never been able to say no to mac and deep down, despite everything, he still wants a kid with her more than his next breath
i need mac pining after harm and wondering why he's so adamant about fulfilling their deal when he clearly doesn't want her, except she knows about his overdeveloped sense of honor better than anyone so really she should have expected this, and she feels guilty because it feels like taking advantage of him but she's not strong enough to turn him down. he has always been the man she wanted as the father for her children, and that's still true even if he can't love her
i need insane amounts of UST. i need harm insisting on giving mac footrubs and backrub. i need harm falling in love with mac all over again while she obsesses over which dino-themed baby toys the kid needs. i need mac shoving down the pregnancy hormones when harm shows up at her doorstep ready to cook whatever the baby is craving that day.
(i dearly wish under the covers and ex libris were still accessible, im sure so much fic has been lost)