jake

mort the wizard’s apprentice! (no longer in jail)

[calicoboy-9]

@jaketheapprentice sooo... we're on the island now but ngl I wasn't really listening when we were told what we're actually meant to be doing-

So what's the plan? We have a plan right??!

[jaketheapprentice]

so apparently there’s a part of the beach that has a super high concentration of like copper pellets (?) that we need to look for + fill a couple bags with, but there’s like huge mean crustaceans that guard the copper and might pinch us to death with their claws 😭

here’s the post my master made about it a few days ago, he phrased it a bit better than me lmao : https://www.tumblr.com/communities/the-wizards-council/post/766046076134359040/fellow-wizards-i-have-figured-out-how-i-will-cure

[jaketheapprentice]

ok sooo the boat ride to the island was going smoothly

UNTIL OUR BOAT GOT STRUCK BY FUCKING LIGHTNING AND OUR STARGUIDE FELL IN THE WATER 😭😭😭😭 ITS NOT EVEN RAINING???? IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND ITS SO DARK AND WINDY WE ARE DIRECTIONLESS AND SCARED AT SEA

@calico-in-the-forest @mortthewizard

[jaketheapprentice]

I have this old book, a Spell Tome of Craft Wondrous Item. It's mostly useless to me. But, I gather you're a Wizard, if in training.

I'll quill some basic self-repairing runes into it, and you can have it once you get here.

Craft Wondrous Item allows you to imbue any spell you can cast into an object, which can then repeat those effect autonomously. For example, a timepiece that speaks aloud. Enormously useful for a Wizard.

Of course, don't be afraid to make any purchases while you're here. I can give you a full inventory, if you like. I do take requests.

sounds awesome, thank you so much!!!

[jaketheapprentice]

Biggest tips for your journey:

Hiring a Starguide is so worth it if you have to cross a long stretch of water.

Potions to cure seasickness are WAY overpriced, learn to either cast Planarity (For a steady surface to stand on) or buy a Scroll of Steadfast Spirit (To boost your Constitution).

I live a hair South of the Salin-Malum caves so come visit! I run the Artificing shop that wanders the forest and disguises itself as a tree.

Leviathan activity has been pretty quiet on the West coast recently but still take precautions!

Make your mentor proud.

thanks for the tips!! we might just rawdog it when going to the island since it’s pretty close to the mainland, although afterwards it would probably be faster to sail to the caves directly from the island rather than going back to the mainland and walking the distance, which would be a longer distance and probably would constitute those extra measures.

with that being said, i’ll definitely be learning to cast planarity, and we’ll see if sæge and i can scrounge up some funds for a starguide.

and we’ll definitely be stopping by your shop before going to the caves!!

[jaketheapprentice]

Jsyk one of the Pirate Kings from the city of Three Cliffs has been annexing the Erroan Sea recently.

The one who's a water mage, not the pure-mist one.

oh shit 😭 @calico-in-the-forest dawg we may have to take an alternate route to Mord cus idk if we’ll be able to boat directly to it with the pirate kings about. or maybe i could do a cloaking spell?

[calicoboy-9]

oof ok... do you have any good alternative route in mind? If not, a cloaking spell sounds good and we can cast together as well since its the two of us, yk power of friendship and all that loll

[jaketheapprentice]

i mean the only two alternate routes i can think of would be flying (unlikely) or swimming underwater (terrifying; water beasts). i’m sure we could muster up a strong enough cloaking spell to mask us at least until we get to the island

[jaketheapprentice]

Jsyk one of the Pirate Kings from the city of Three Cliffs has been annexing the Erroan Sea recently.

The one who's a water mage, not the pure-mist one.

oh shit 😭 @calico-in-the-forest dawg we may have to take an alternate route to Mord cus idk if we’ll be able to boat directly to it with the pirate kings about. or maybe i could do a cloaking spell?

[jaketheapprentice]

BOYS i’m leaving for the quest today

so i think i need to stop by the tower of @theweevilwizardofthewest in order to pick up the termite jar (😓😓😓😨😨 terrifying) and his apprentice @calico-in-the-forest (not as terrifying)

or, my first destination is the island of mord, so maybe sæge could meet me at the mainland coast with the jar, and then we could boat over there together??

[the-gimmick-oracle]

A quest, you say? Perhaps I could be of some assistance in determining your success. What quest are you being sent on?

[jaketheapprentice]

my master @mortthewizard is sending me to a bunch of dangerous places all around the continent to collect stuff. allegedly he’s having me do this because i’m “cowardly” and “dependent” but i think he just wants me out of the tower so he can throw a sick wizard party

here’s the list he made:

if you happen to be along the way maybe you can help a boy out

[the-gimmick-oracle]

Interesting… I’ll just read out the little script thing for quests I was given during training and we’ll get straight to your prophecy

uhhhhh okay so approach, seeker of fate, and find what is held in store for you on your perilous quest et cetera et cetera, oh the disclaimer is an important part. Disclaimer: The Oracle not responsible for any deaths or severe injuries that may happen on your quest. If you or a loved one have been killed or injured on your quest, please refer your complaints to the Fates and basically don’t shoot the messenger. Alright let’s go

Sent on a quest for oneself to prove Danger shall follow, so stay on the move Each object you seek retrieved shall be But some along the way shan’t be friendly Be wary, adventurer, but let yourself rely On solely the help of others, and you won’t get by To prove your independence, to prove you are brave You must travel all over, yet never cave Shadows will follow at times, large and small And the places that feel safe, do not trust them all Be careful, apprentice, and quest with a friend Lest you face on your own your potential end

[jaketheapprentice]

OK so i’m definitely going to be posting very frequent and possibly annoying updates on sæge and i’s quest here, and they might be posting about it on the wizard community board as well. i’ll put all my quest posts under the “questposting” tag

[jaketheapprentice]

BOYS i’m leaving for the quest today

so i think i need to stop by the tower of @theweevilwizardofthewest in order to pick up the termite jar (😓😓😓😨😨 terrifying) and his apprentice @calico-in-the-forest (not as terrifying)

or, my first destination is the island of mord, so maybe sæge could meet me at the mainland coast with the jar, and then we could boat over there together??

[calicoboy-9]

that works, I'd be happy to take the jar with me and meet you at the coast. Be warned though, you will have to put up with me for the entire quest, and that is perhaps the hardest challenge of them all.. /j

Extra note: the final - and most challenging - of the destinations is very loud and difficult to navigate for me as an autistic wizard. I will therefore be making use of enchanted ear defenders. These are not in order to cheat, but rather an accommodation.

Looking forward to joining you for the quest,

Sæge the Groveskeeper [he/they/neos]

[jaketheapprentice]

WORD sounds awesome, I’ll see you there 💯

[jaketheapprentice]

BOYS i’m leaving for the quest today

so i think i need to stop by the tower of @theweevilwizardofthewest in order to pick up the termite jar (😓😓😓😨😨 terrifying) and his apprentice @calico-in-the-forest (not as terrifying)

or, my first destination is the island of mord, so maybe sæge could meet me at the mainland coast with the jar, and then we could boat over there together??

[the-gimmick-oracle]

A quest, you say? Perhaps I could be of some assistance in determining your success. What quest are you being sent on?

[jaketheapprentice]

my master @mortthewizard is sending me to a bunch of dangerous places all around the continent to collect stuff. allegedly he’s having me do this because i’m “cowardly” and “dependent” but i think he just wants me out of the tower so he can throw a sick wizard party

here’s the list he made:

if you happen to be along the way maybe you can help a boy out

[jaketheapprentice]

Bro please teach me Unending Torrent of Flame I know your Master said not to teach it to the unwise but pleeeeease

well its a spell heavily based on physical movement rather than words so i can’t rly teach it over text BUT…

my master is sending me out on a little bit of a quest soon… and it sure would be a shame if you found me on my path and secretly saw me perform it…………..

[theweevilwizardofthewest]

Jake…

Come on..

[jaketheapprentice]

😀 oh hey

[jaketheapprentice]

BOYS i’m leaving for the quest today

so i think i need to stop by the tower of @theweevilwizardofthewest in order to pick up the termite jar (😓😓😓😨😨 terrifying) and his apprentice @calico-in-the-forest (not as terrifying)

or, my first destination is the island of mord, so maybe sæge could meet me at the mainland coast with the jar, and then we could boat over there together??

[jaketheapprentice]

Bro please teach me Unending Torrent of Flame I know your Master said not to teach it to the unwise but pleeeeease

well its a spell heavily based on physical movement rather than words so i can’t rly teach it over text BUT…

my master is sending me out on a little bit of a quest soon… and it sure would be a shame if you found me on my path and secretly saw me perform it…………..

[jaketheapprentice]

currently packing to go on an INSANE quest that i’ll probably DIE on but my wizard master is MAKING me do it. what does one even bring to a quest??? like seriously im asking what should i take

[thaparasite]

I dont wanna be your "wise mentor" or your "mistical advisor"

I wanna be the wizard gay uncle you tell your friends about and they dont believe you

[jaketheapprentice]

real

[jaketheapprentice]

MY WIZARD MENTOR IS SENDING ME ON. A FUCKING LETHAL QUEST TO “CURE MY COWARDICE” . IM NOT JOKING. THIS IS SO SCARY IVE NEVER BEEN IN SUCH DANGER ON MY OWN IM JUST A BOY.

[jaketheapprentice]

I heard there’s a gnome migration in the west

???? in the west?? like towards the west? or away? this is vital info bro i’m so scared of gnomes