Jakob sighed as he looked round his new flat, it was a lot smaller than his last one but with it being a studio flat and the ancient windows covering one wall it appeared to be more spacious and airy. He had unpacked everything now but it looked like someone had just moved out, or like a display flat in IKEA.
Jakob decided it was about time he filled his fridge up, it was a chore he hated but it needed to be done, he would just need basic essentials; milk, bread, coffee, etc … He rolled himself a cig, grabbed his keys and left for a local corner shop he has spotted while chatting with his new acquaintance, Franky, she seemed nice enough, she had left him a nice message on his phone which made him smile, he would text her tomorrow asking if she was free to show him this university job.
In the shop, he grabbed some milk, coffee, cereal, toothpaste, bread, a few cans of soup and some bananas, he was struggling to the counter when someone brushed past him and caused him to spill everything he was holding.
As he collected himself off the floor, checking that he hadn’t hurt himself, he heard a voice; "I’m so sorry mate"
Sienna’s stomach growled, groaned and screamed for food. The morning had been stressful, busy and she had forgotten to eat. Normally she had a good size breakfast to carb up before a run. She always was in need of energy, being a small girl that did a lot of running or swimming. But the worst part of the whole ordeal was worse, due to being so indecisive. She wanted something she could eat while she walked around Bristol. She needed to find a job sometime soon, she wanted to be away from her father and she wanted to just be an bloody adult for once. Sadly she was mental.
Her finger traced the boxes of microwavable crap that littered the shelves. She sighed quietly as she continued through the aisles. She needed to find something before she passed out and made her way to the deli. They would usually have made salads or wraps. She could eat those outside the store or even while she walked around Bristol. She hated being at home, she hated sitting around.
Sienna found a egg salad wrap that didn’t look like shite, picked it up and slowly made her way to the counter, her mental state was a bit off when she bumped into a bloke. Her chicken salad wrap smashed against her chest, exploding out of the package and getting all over her. She cursed, wishing this food had gone into her not onto her. She looked at the tall, string beam with the blonde afro before she spoke.
"No I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention… bloody hell, I need a napkin and a new wrap," she said. Her stomach growled again and this time she was sure the whole city could hear it.
"I’m so so so s-sorry" he blurted out, picking himself off the floor. He stared at all his food scattered around half the shop, he then noticed the small girl in front of him, were all the girls in Bristol petite? He noticed the egg salad splattered all over her front and blushed a deep shade of red. "Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new sandwich wrap t-hing" He wanted to offer to help but didn’t want to get into the uncomfortable position of trying to awkwardly wiping her chest, it wouldn’t be pleasant for either of them. So he just knelt and hurriedly picked up her ruined wrap off the floor and chucked it in the bin.
He stood up again awkwardly then rushed to the ground again to pick up his own groceries. The shopkeepers seemed not to have noticed, in a way which was good because it saved him some major embarrassment. he didn’t want to look up at the girl as he collected his stuff, he couldn’t bear it. First day in Bristol and he had to make a fool of himself with the first two people that he met. That reminded him, he needed to text Franky.
The thin boy was sputtering and he seemed very nervous. She hoped he didn’t try to clean her off but he watched as he picked up her ruined wrap. She tried to wipe the mayonnaise based egg salad wrap off her shirt. She grumbled and moaned, quietly. Mainly because she was now covered in sticky goo, but it seemed to come off and she flicked it into the bin. “Don’t worry about it, we were both in a hurry,” she said.
She noticed how tall he was, a blonde beanstalk and she smiled softly.
"You don’t have to buy me a new one, I hadn’t even paid for this, but you can buy me some wet wipes to wipe me down," he said, "I’ll go pick out a new sandwich and you meet me back here with the wet wipes."
She turned away and made her way back to the deli, she was a bit nervous. She seemed to always do stupid things, mainly around boys or men in general. She licked her lips nervously as she began to pick out a new sandwich. She found another egg salad one, even as a vegetarian she would sometimes eat eggs. So maybe she was a terrible vegetarian. She was also bad at being straight edge because sometimes she indulged in a drink or two. Sienna turned on her heel and made her way back to the front, if this boy had run off she would avoid awkwardness but if not; maybe she would have a new friend.
Jakob picked up the rest of his stuff, took another glance at the girl, stuttered another apology and went to go get wet wipes and pay for his stuff, once he paid at the till he turned around to go find the girl, but she was literally right behind him, with another wrap, he jumped out of his shoes and nearly dropped his shopping again. He handed her the wet wipes cautiously, not sure if she was angry with him or not.
"Are you sure, you don’t want me to pay for your wrap, I’m so sorry for, um, getting it all over your clothes and s-stuff?" He asked again. He bit his lips unsure of what to do, he thinks he has had more social interaction the the past two days than he had had in entirety of his time working at the fry up in London. He swallowed and realized that his lip was starting to hurt from the pressure he was putting on, he then realized the girl was staring at his hair and he self consciously touched it, trying to flatten it a bit.
She saw him waiting for her, she had thought he would have run off. He seemed a bit nervous and especially as he spoke up again. He stuttered a bit, had quirky mannerisms and it reminded her of how she used to be. After the incident, Sienna had been cracked and reformed. She hated who she had become but there was no going back.
"These wipes will do just fine," she said with a nervous smile.
She may have met someone that had more anxiety than she did. But with her own anxiety, she would be hit with it like a ton of bricks. She paid for her wrap, placing it in her small purse, not wanting to take a plastic bag. She took the wet wipes from the boy and as she wiped herself down, she kept looking at him. Trying to think of something to say.
"I’m Sienna, I just moved down here from Yorkshire," she said and held out her newly cleaned hand.
Sienna tossed the used up wipe into a bin, she still had some small stains but they could easily be hidden. She enjoyed the chemical smell, even if it was a bit sickening. It was clean and she at least felt clean.
"Jakob, j-just moved from London" He shook her hand lightly and offered a small smile, she had wiped most the the sauce off but she suddenly seemed a lot less sure of herself than she had before.She was staring at him more now, and he began to play with the ends of his sleeves, wrapping his arms around his body, he didn’t know what to say.
"Why did you move?" He blurted out, he wanted a cig and started to walk outside a bit, but his movements were stunted, he was still a bit shocked from him fall and had hit his backbone quite hard and was feeling a bit weak kneed and his heavy shopping wasn’t helping. He considered going to the gym, then shot the idea down before it even blossomed. he wouldn’t survive at the gym, everyone would be bigger than him, and he didn’t ever feel comfortable the changing rooms, let alone the showers.
"I needed a new view," she said with a smile.
She followed him outside, and realized how much of a twat she had been. She had been so worried about her own stomach that she never asked about him. It wasn’t until she had seen him walking a bit differently. He seemed to be struggling with his groceries. She took a bag from him to try and help out. It was the least she could do, she had to do something nice. He had been very kind. He seemed like a good person and she hoped she wasn’t being naive.
"Are you okay? You actually hit the ground, sorry for not paying attention. I was in my own world and I was so bloody hungry, all I could think about was filling me gob with some egg salad. I feel like a twat for not acknowledging your pain," she rambled on.
She looked away so she couldn’t see her become pink. She kept doing stupid things. She needed to calm herself down. She took small, quick breaths. She was rubbish at making friends, she had only sort of made two, Michelle and Franky. But she had only met them, were they really friends?
"I’m fine, thank you" he said, biting his lips again, "We seem to be in the same b-boat" he carefully placed his shopping on the pavement outside and digged around in his pockets for his tobacco and started to roll, "S-sorry you don’t, um, want one do you?"
Sienna, really was very small, or maybe he was just very tall, she reminded of a character from a book he had read from when he was a lot younger, the kind of book with pictures, but he couldn’t remember what book now. He was bemused by the fact that she said she was very hungry, get had put her wrap thing in her bag rather than eat it. He finished rolling and lit it up, carefully aiming the smoke away from her, hell he was a smoker and even he hated when smoke was blown in his face.
"No thanks," she said as she watched him roll a cigarette.
She never got into smoking and hoped he wasn’t a bloke that blew it around carelessly. She would most likely have to excuse herself if he smoked that way. She had been so busy trying to make a new friend that she had forgotten about her wrap. But they were also walking and eating and walking was feasible but a pain in the arse.
"I never was a smoker, I drink sometimes but I’m more straight edge than anything," she said a bit meekly.
She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous. He was more nervous than her but she still felt anxious. She wanted to be normal but she just took a quick breath, a sigh of relief when he blew the smoke away from her face. She kept her pace with him, she had shorter legs than him but she could keep up. She was quite a runner, a swimmer and always enjoyed a good workout than a spliff or a pint of bitter.
She pulled out her wrap, not worried about getting any on her, she took a bite, chewed and swallowed.
"Never been to London, why did you move?" she asked.
"If you can’t take shit in London, everyone there decides to give it to you, I-I guess i just, um, needed a new start, really" He swallowed, he wasn’t surprised she didn’t smoke, she looked too healthy, he took another drag and looked towards the sky, it was unusually clear for England. He was now at his block of flats but he didn’t particularly want to part company with this girl, she seemed friendly, and Bristol was meant to be a new start right? He decided he would go rest in the park across the road, he had taken some photos of it from his window, they weren’t that good, the park wasn’t really nice enough.
"Um, you don’t want to go and, um, chill in t-the park do you?" his sentence trailed of towards the end, but he had realized he wasn’t the only one who was nervous, she seemed to be breathing very quickly, he instantly panicked though, "But you d-don’t have to, I mean, if you you’d rather … like, if you don’t want to or have, s-something to, um do or …"
"That sounds fantastic," she said.
She was a big fan of nature, she was a big fan of all of the lovely parks of Bristol. For her it was better than getting shit faced at some pub. Then being touched by some random. Jakob didn’t seem like a guy that would do that and she hoped her intuition was right. Jakob seemed just as lost and shy as her. Maybe even worse so. But Sienna was something of a weird case.
When it came to anxiety, it wasn’t something she lived with always. it was something that came and went. Which possibly may be worse. But that was only because she had no idea what it was like to live with it 24/7. At the moment, she felt fine, no voices tearing her down. No doubt. She was in control and she continued to take bites of her wrap as she walked with Jakob.
Sienna wanted to know a bit more but was unsure of what to ask about him. She was so rubbish with questions and her lip quivered as she formed a question.
"What do you do in your free time Jakob?" she said and hoped it wasn’t too quiet. She always felt like a meek creature, a mouse of sorts.
"I take pictures" said Jakob, with a but more confidence, he wanted to sit down, but didn’t know if she wanted too as well, and just played with his sleeves more and stared around. "What about you?"
She looked quite healthy, but didn’t seem like a very happy person, but she definitely took care of herself. He took a drag of his cigarette and wondered about how different his life would be now he had moved to Bristol, it was going a lot better already, but he didn’t want to say anything too soon.
Sienna seemed quite nervous, he wasn’t quite sure if she was just like that or if he made her uncomfortable, all his good thoughts suddenly disappeared and he drew deeper into himself, placing a hand on his neck.
"Oh really?" she said, she was never an artsy person.
Sienna was more focused on nature and she had wished she could take pictures. But she was one who would have her thumb in the picture. As they entered the park, she noticed things that could be good pictures and wondered if he saw life differently. He had asked about her and it threw her off, she normally hated answering questions. But she needed to make some friends.
"I like to jog, swim, wanted to do it professionally but I never trained enough," she said.
Sienna was trying to be vague; not wanting to dump her problems onto this stranger. He was just some bloke she was walking with and she felt her face becoming warm.
"I’m boring I know, I don’t drink, smoke or party and I feel like everyone in this town does that or the few people I’ve met like Franky, or Michelle," she said just to name a few people.
Her hands were rubbing together, it was a nervous tick. Something she never noticed she had done. It was like breathing for her, she just did it. She licked her lips nervously and looked over to him. How do people do this? she wondered.
Jakob continued playing with his sleeves, he was right she was sporty, and dedicated enough to consider becoming professional, even if the idea got shot down straight away, at least it was considered. Oh, had she met Franky? Was is the same Franky he wondered. "Don’t worry, I’m kinda in the same boat as you, well same ocean,um, …different b-boat. Is the Franky you met like, petite?" He hadn’t heard of Michelle, God if it was the same Franky then Bristol really was a lot smaller in London. If you ran into someone in London twice there was some voodoo shit going on.
Sienna, looked like she was going through a lot and so Jakob was glad that he could use Franky as a change of subject. He didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable simply because he lacked social skills
She smiled, she was surprised someone had meet someone she sort of knew. Not like her and Franky were BFFs. But she had fun with the girl and she hoped to meet up with her again.
"Yeah, small, short hair, cute," she said.
Sienna wondered if this bloke would wonder if she was a lesbian. Maybe not, girls could compliment other girls without being accused of lesbianism. Not like she was worried, being a lesbian could be interesting. She had never considered it, not like it was a choice. She laughed, hopefully she didn’t sound as mental as she thought she had.
"I only hung out with her once, but I’ve only been in town a few weeks," she added.
"Besides taking pictures what do you do? Do you have any siblings? Do you have a car?" she asked.
She wanted to get him talking, mainly so she didn’t have to talk. But she would most likely have to give him some answers.
Gosh, Bristol really was a lot smaller than London, Jakob couldn’t decide whether he liked that or not yet, no turning back now anyway. "Yeah … that’s the Franky I met, yeah, no, she has a beautifully angular face … like … from a photographers point of view" Jakob suddenly felt awkward again, maybe he just felt he didn’t have a lot to say.
"Yeah, I only met her yesterday, I only arrived in Bristol literally yesterday, I don’t really know w-what I’m doing"
Sienna was asking a lot of questions and he didn’t know if he could answer them all, "Umm . . No, I don’t drive a car, there was no need to in London, and I just … yeah, and, um, I have 7 siblings, kinda."
Jakob stared at the grass beneath him, suddenly very embarrassed, he was trying desperately to hide his blush, he had known this girl for about 15 minutes, maybe less and she knew more about him than Cassie had.
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