[jameswebbelscope]

[idontthinkitwillhurtifyousmile]

call of duty when you shoot the good guy

[once-a-polecat]

Local restaurant having trouble with whores apparently.

[dogpuppy]

[godblessthesickos]

World historical loser

[drwiltz-official]

[sandmandaddy69]

[sandmandaddy69]

[arcolan]

11 year old border collie: gets a special shot for his chronic back pain this morning

2pm: "where's the dog he can't possibly have jumped over the fence"

3pm: "hi i live in [another village]! I got your dog here, if you can come fetch him?"

"well at least that new medication is working 💀"

[emcapi]

[bfwonho]

this image just tickles me in a certain way like... not 'as hard as i can' but as soon.. he is too busy to laugh right now and he doesnt know when he will be available but he'll try to squeeze it in

[aureliagaming]

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

[sandmandaddy69]

[unalivejournal]

Reddit post: Hey I'm thinking about pursuing this career does anyone have any advice for my path?

Comments: This job is hell my life is hell don't do it. I wake up every morning for work and hold a gun to my head while doing deep breathing exercises. Find a time machine and go back to 1979 if you even want a chance of getting a position. Prepare to move 5000 miles away. You will be paid one penny per hour for the first 15 years and your days will be 12 hours long at minimum. Being dead is better than doing this profession

[berlynn-wohl]

[dogpuppy]

[simplyghosting]

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

[thestateonmtv]

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

[beachdeath]

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

[thelambliesdown1974]

it burns when I post

[iamoutofideas]

washed my hair and I feel like one hundred and eighty bucks

[jameswebbelscope]

Crazy how much money people are willing to spend on shampoo