𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓴𝓾𝓭𝓸𝓼

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓷 Muffy Blair || 7teen || she/her

[jamieslut666]

mariana--diaz‌:

The look Mariana gave Muffy when she spoke of the potential outcomes of this woman being a ghost was indescribable. When they were younger she might’ve thought that theory was funny. She probably would’ve laughed for at least two minutes. But since going their separate ways, Mariana often wondered how she put up with Muffy. Had they only been friends out of convenience, because their options were so limiting. Or had Mariana truly thought they had things in common? Maybe they did once, but it seemed Muffy was still interested in things Mariana would associate with a thirteen year old. “Trust me, Muffy. She wasn’t a ghost. Unless a ghost can grab you by the shoulders and shake you, I’m gonna say we’re fine.”

Watching Muffy pull out a journal Mariana hadn’t seen in months, the blonde couldn’t help but feel some kind of curiosity spark. Why was that coming out? Neck stretching somewhat so she could see what Muffy was referencing, Mariana skimmed the worlds as her once friend spoke. The fact that so much space was dedicated to Jamie Ward made her roll her eyes. “Do you just walk around the halls aimlessly listening in on conversations for dirt about the male student body? I didn’t even hear about Bryce.” And she was closer to him than Muffy was, that’s for sure. “Also, there’s a difference between Bryce having a breakdown and that woman doing something. What if he was just having a bad day? It’s not like the shit that came out on prom night was easy for him”

“Well a poltergeist can cause physical disturbances, so there is a slim possibility the house we went to was structured on Native American burial grounds and the poltergeist decided to shake you.” Mariana didn’t seem too impressed with the ghost and specter knowledge she had, so Muffy cut her TedTalk short. “Alright well. . . just in case it is, you should put a ring of salt around your bed or something. Also they tends to get all Paranormal Activity if you’re under emotional stress so. . . tell your mom to buzz off and stuff.” she advised, knowing far too well just how crabby the nurse could get. Maybe her and Mariana weren’t really friends anymore, but she still sympathized with the girl when it came to living with a nightmare mother figure.

Muffy scrunched her eyebrows at Mariana as if the blonde had just asked what 2+2 was. “Of course I do. Do you remember how Taylor Swift got inspiration for her early songs? Eavesdropping on her peers. How else am I going to get writing inspiration or keep up to date with what’s new? People talking in the halls is so much faster than Twitter.” Muffy shoved the journal back into her bag. “Bryce is considered a 9 out of 10 around here-- he’d be a 10 if he didn’t look like her had lip injections, but I digress. Anyway, hot people just don’t have bad days, especially when their hair is always slightly damp from the pool and it curls like a greaser’s.”

Mariana did have a point though. There certainly was a difference between your sanity snapping like a carrot between teeth and supernatural forces. “Maybe you should talk to him about it? If he’s just gone Shutter Island on us then I owe you $5.”

[jamieslut666]

jaspermalek‌:

The ins and outs of the bands sex life was not something Jasper was interested, not even a little bit, not ever. But at least that gave him something to go off in terms of talking to her like a normal grounded human being. You know, if those existed anymore in town.

“Right. Cool. I didn’t know you were in band. What instrument do you play?” Small talk was a good starting place. He was sure deep down there was someone who was a little more grounded. Deep down, deep, deep, deep down. He just had to pull her out and give her a little self confidence. “I’m surprised you’re not a bard then.”

That was a Dungeons and Dragons thing, right?

He relaxed as they continued talking. It was fair. The football team kept away from him for the most part, though the reason for that he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t been kicked out of camp yet but there was always that fear hanging overhead that someday a parent would overhear something about him and write in enough letters to send him packing. He had a lot of luck and maybe some built up good will going on but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware how good he had it.

“And the girls are so stressed out about the other person being into them that they lash out at the slightest thing that could be described as homo. Yeah I get it. I’ve been in a gym class before where all the guys frantically try to pull on their pants.

Jasper followed her outside and sat beside her. He listened intently to the weird tarot card reads she was doing, impressed that she could remember all of it so well. At least until Muffy pulled out the death card. Death was something that was nerve-wracking for him in a lot of ways. 

“So you didn’t just doom me then? Instead it’s a mildly ominous way of saying I’m a butterfly in metamorphosis? Seems unnecessarily spooky.”

“I play tuba. Mr. Andersen says I’m the only person in band with enough upper body strength to hold it up. Clarence Clemons tried switching to tuba sophomore year, but he tipped over and fell off the music room risers.” She examined Japer’s hands, squinting. “Your hands are all calloused so you probably play strings, but you have kind of sausagey fingers so I’d really stick to brass or winds if I were you.” Muffy’s attention perked back up to his face, eyes practically sparkling when she realized he actually knew something about DnD, “You’d definitely be a Druid because you’re in tune with the earth. Every time the wind blows a leaf on your clothes, that’s Mother Nature blowing a kiss to you.”

Muffy picked the cards back up, shuffling them mindlessly in her hands. “Everyone here is so small minded you could drown in it. Besides, Hecate doesn’t care if someone is gay or not. She’s too busy trying to caress the moon and curse men.”

She stopped shuffling when Jasper mentioned dooming him. “Spooky is interesting. You’ll thank me later when you’ve been exposed enough. You don’t see how tasteless your life is until you finally give yourself into the unknown. You’re like chicken broth and I’m bat shaped pastina.”

[jamieslut666]

After destroying the club’s evidence on their most important case, you’re apprehensive about returning to face the club but you’re nothing if not persistent. You walk the hall leading to the newspaper club like a dead girl walking the green mile, anticipating the repercussions of Jamie’s ire.

You enter the room and everyone is there and looking at you. You’ve prepared an apology but a voice catches your attention before you can say anything.

“Oh, full of moxie, aren’t you Muffykins? I like playing with you very very much!” it said, pitchy and mechanic. You break out in a sweat and look behind you. It’s Holly’s furby whose charred remains are looking at you. It repeated the phrase over and over again, voice getting more distorted each time. You look back at the club and it’s Kaz who’s in your face, his golden smile contorted into something mean.

“Did you have fun?” he asks. “You selfish, delusional girl. You and Jamie are a match made in Hell.”

Normally, you’d love to hear it. You and Jamie, a hellish Bonnie and Clyde. There wasn’t anything in the world you wanted more than that but not like this. 

You stammer out an apology but all Kaz does is laugh. 

“Are you ready to tell them the truth, Muffy? About why you’re really here?” he says.

“Or do you dare to defy me again?” Jamie adds.

When you look past Kaz’s shoulder at the club, they’re all smiling at you too like you’re their favourite playmate.

Are you?

Muffy didn’t think she was prepared for what was about to happen when she stepped foot in that club room, but she never expected one of the things to occur would be Fubric speaking. Muffy blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes. When the thing still seemed to be leering and whispering to her, Muffy stuck a pinkie in her ear to make sure she wasn’t just hearing things. She was hoping to find some sort of obstruction to her hearing in there, but when she saw Kaz and Jamie’s face she knew it wasn’t her senses deceiving her.

“Alright, you’re not really Jamie! I’ve calculated how wide his smile it from pictures and it’s 3.2 inches!” she yelled at the ‘Jamie’ hallucination. Demon or no demon, she knew her mans.

The stares the the room is giving her quickly evaporate any confidence she had in the moment. It was chilling to look at her classmates staring at her like kindergarteners about to tear a rag doll apart. The Murder Club all looked uglier than usual. 

As she looked back at them all, Muffy took a deep breath before spewing the truth out. Her face was serious as could be as she spoke.

“I’m here because Jamie and I are going to get married, but he’s dating a Cabbage Patch Kid so I’m trying to prove I can be the rightful queen of darkness. Jamie and I are going to retire to Salem, Massachusetts in a Georgian style home where I’ll write vampire/mothman hybrid YA novels and he will sage the house and make me lentil soup whenever I read a 3 star Amazon review of my work.” She took a break from speaking, looking out and examining everyone’s faces for a reaction. “Also… my only friend got a snatched waist overnight and dumped me so I really wanted people to hangout with.”

[jamieslut666]

violet-matthews‌:

Vi opened her mouth to speak, fully intent on making it clear to Muffy that she didn’t just need for her to be quiet but absolutely silent when what she’d said about calling her step mom a bitch finally processed. Instead of speaking up, she just observed as Muffy continued to speak, volunteering information about herself at a rate that Vi was just not used to.

She’d assured Vi that she could keep things on the DL, but at the rate she was spilling stuff about herself, Vi had a hearty amount of skepticism about that as she mentally noted that Muffy had strong preferences when it came to media.

The Fight Club reference hadn’t been a way to gauge Muffy’s interest in action films, but now she knew that she only liked action movies if there were plot-heavy love triangles. Could she use that to learn something about Muffy’s personality? Nope. Probably not. But maybe someday she’d have to list off three movies that had a focus on a love triangle in trivia and she could hearken back to their fun little conversation.

Muffy’s words about Jamie and her hopes for the destruction of his relationship with his perfectly lovely girlfriend may have actually been the weirdest thing that had come out of the girl’s mouth since she’d approached Vi, but she really tried to not let that show. There was so much to unpack there, but that was for another time.

“It’s… like having a really stressful job,” Vi finally spoke up, the silence before Muffy’s question cuing her that now was the best time to really try and get through to her. “I’ve never been gainfully employed, but I definitely feel like I have. Except I make no money. And I have to read a lot. I’m assuming, if you and Jamie are pals, that you’ve read the Satanic Bible. Which is good background knowledge to have. But I feel like I should probably, like… warn you. If you’re interested in joining just for some guy, you should probably reconsider.”

“You don’t talk a lot.” Muffy pointed out. She didn’t think it was a bad thing though. If anything, she was pleasantly surprised that Violet just let her ramble without interruption. “I bet you’re like the ‘fly on the wall’ type. Like you just listen and observe things. You should be a secret agent. You’d probably have to wear more black though. Not that your clothes are bad, I actually like what you wear, but I feel as though you’d have a more successful spy career if you dressed more like the mom in Spy Kids.”

Muffy never had a real job, but Violet already acted 20 years their senior, so she trusted her when she described the labor it took. “It’s not just for some guy, it’s for Jamie! I need to support him in everything he does and this is his magnum opus. I mean. . . it’d be like you not going to support Norman when he performs Celion Dion’s I Surrender with the Alberitones!”

[jamieslut666]

bogmurderclubhq‌:

Sasuke stared through the screen, piercing through the fourth wall and meeting Muffy’s eyes with the intensity he’d previously been reserving for his teenage ninja lover. His smile was already impossibly wide, but somehow, it widened. Muffy’s enthusiasm was exactly what Sasuke was hoping for.

“There’s nothing quite like a tale of starcrossed lovers,” he said. “Like you and that tsundere bishounen sitting at the table next to yours.”

Your gaze is drawn to your right for a brief glimpse of Jamie, but then you’re compelled to keep reading off your screen.

“Every good romance needs conflict to make things juicy, wouldn’t you say? So I dare you, Muffy… sneak into his club room, take his evidence board that he has so carefully crafted… and burn it.”

Her happy expression dropped when her fanfic demanded she betray the goblin man she loved.

“What the hell, I was expecting a sexy dare?? Not that!”

Still, what was worse? Ending up like Jasper with chemical burns or starting an angst plot in her shoujo manga story? If this demon made a spork pluck her eye out then Jamie might never love her. Jamie deserved someone with two eyes, not Polyphemus.

“Okay, fine, I’ll do it!” 

There were some hockey players giving Muffy a weird look as they shoveled mystery meat into their mouths, but strange outbursts just seemed like a typical Muffy thing. The girl collected her things quickly and gave Jamie one last longing glance from across the cafeteria before sneaking out.

As she ran off to the newspaper office, her bottom lip shook as she clutched her laptop and books. Maybe Jamie wouldn’t know? Maybe if she destroyed everything then he’d need help getting it all back together? No. No amount of personal gain was going to make her feel better about this. She wasn’t just about to destroy his work, she was about to destroy Jamie.

Thanks to her connection with the custodian, he unlocked the club room for her when she made up some story about losing her hair clip in there. Once he was out of sight, Muffy stared at the corkboard. “God, this is awful. . .” she mumbled, chewing on her nails. Nerves were getting the best of her, but she had to do it. 

Quickly, she ripped everything down like taking off a bandaid. Muffy filled the waste paper basket near Jamie’s desk up with months and months of research from the board. When she was done, there weren’t even any yarn strings or thumbtacks left. The thing was scarily clean like it had once been back in September. Muffy could have sworn that the long Furby resting on Holly-Eve’s desk was cursing her when she made eye contact with her, but the girl quickly scurried out with her bounty and rode her bike down to where Sticks River met the Afterwood.

She only had another 15 minutes left before she had to head back, so she had to go in and out of the big quickly. Muffy wasn’t much of a smoker, but she had a lighter in her backpack in case she needed to burn some sage. The junior stared down at the basket of polaroids and articles as her feet began to sink down into the wet ground.

“Forgive me, Jamie.” she sighed, setting ablaze to a photo of Alfie that Kaz had provided. When the fire inched up to the little boy’s neck, Muffy dropped the photo into the basket and watched as all that hard work became nothing but ash.

Hopefully, Jamie had gone digital with some of his research.

[alilaro]

oh to be stolen away in the dead of night by a mysterious ancient entity

[in-your-bad-dream]

Visit Original Link

[jamieslut666]

mariana--diaz‌:

“The fact that I’m not worried about this, should be all the answers you need.” Okay so many she did pull Muffy into an abandoned room because she didn’t want the entirety of the school population to see the two conversing, but Mariana had a reputation to uphold now. She had some status, and she wasn’t going to let that be squashed just because Muffy wanted to talk to her openly in public. But she also wasn’t lying when she said they shouldn’t be talking about such things out in the open. Some people might think they’re crazy, but other’s might be paying attention. And the less people that knew what the murder club knew, the better. After all, if people were aware of the supernatural going on’s in the town, how long before a mob was outside her home?

“All she talked about was that stupid game. That we just have to play by the rules. I don’t know about you, but I’m not scared of some truth or dare game. I mean, what the’s worst that could happen? We don’t do a dare or we don’t tell the truth, so fucking what. It’s child’s play.” Even if something hurt her, she knew she was probably going to be okay. Many things had happened after that night that shard pierced her skin, and while it’s not like she had jumped off a bridge to test if she was invulnerable to being harmed, she felt powerful. She knew she was stronger, and she figured she could probably withstand a few broken fingers or whatever this demon threw at her. 

Crossing her arms in front of her, Mariana looked over Muffy and could tell the girl was worried. Like, actually scared. The corner’s of her mouths dropped slightly, because while the two weren’t besties anymore, Mariana had cared for her once. That doesn’t go away. “I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about. That lady wasn’t making sense. Have you seen or heard anything?”

“I dunno, I thought maybe you’re just trying not to look scared because you’re afraid of wrinkles now or something.” she huffed, shrugging her shoulders. Maybe Mariana was right and there was no immediate threat. Oddly enough, it was more disappointing that it was relieving. For once, Muffy thought something exciting could happen to them instead of just other people or characters.

Well, Mariana already had the thrill of going up 2 cup sizes overnight, but Muffy was thinking of something more adventurous.

“I’m not scared of truth or dare, Mar.” she replied, rolling her eyes. “But what if she’s like a ghost lady and if she don’t do what she says then she shoves her ghost tail or something in our mouths and rip our tongues out. You’ll never get to eat chocolate again and then your life is a whopping void.” Not that Mariana’s life was easy before this, but her sudden metamorphosis did at least add some men to distract her. If there was a void in Mariana’s heart before, it was likely being filled now by her male suitors (in more ways that one).

By this point Muffy could have walked away and let Mariana be ignorant to whatever was coming their way, but something in her still wanted to protect the girl. Sure, Muffy would have liked to see Mariana get slapped in the face or get a botched haircut, but not get actually hurt.

Muffy took her journal out and flipped through the crinkled pages. The amount of teen angst tantrums and walks home in the rain it withstood made it look as beat up as she felt. “Here.” Muffy pointed to a passage she wrote. It was slipped into a 3 page monologue about how Jamie decided to use a red pen instead of black during class, but it was tucked in there amidst the chaos of her brain. “’Today I heard that Bryce Evans started having a freak out after rubber ducky practice. He’s always been a dickhead, so I thought it was funny.’” she quoted herself, shutting the book back up. “I dont know, maybe Mermaid Man did just lose a screw when Barnacle Boy decided to pull a Jonestown or maybe that lady did do something?"

[jamieslut666]

devilsward‌:

Of course Jamie knew who Muffy was. How could he not? It was a sheer act of will that kept him from acknowledging her, like maybe if he just acted like he didn’t enough times, she’d forget who he was and they’d be on their merry way. But life didn’t seem to want to work out that way for him, Muffy’s shiny eyes and impassioned pleas both daggers to his tiny black heart.

Jamie didn’t like her desperation but more than that, he didn’t like how he could relate. Her face rang of a distant memory of Alberione and how badly he’d wanted to fit in there. How bad it hurt when he couldn’t. Loneliness wasn’t something he wished upon his worst enemy and just listening to Muffy, he knew she didn’t have anyone to turn to. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be a horrible idea to keep loose ends close. Jamie frowned deeply, disgusted with himself and his own train of thought.

“Three rules: one, you have to pay a weekly subscription to join. Two, you go home when I say you do and three, I’m the game master.”

Jamie’s expression hardened, narrowed into a knife’s edge as he jutted a finger at her in warning.

“Also, not a word about prom night to anyone. Understand?”

“A weekly subscription. . .?” She had never seen anyone hand Jamie over money (except maybe Edwina if Jamie was staring longingly at the vending machine). Muffy got a $20 a week from her dad and it’s not like her parents had the means to give her or her siblings any more. Maybe she should start taking commissions or worse-- get a job. “Is there like a free 30 day trial?” she inquired, her face cringing as she asked, “I just need time to save up my allowances.”

Jamie bossing her around was admittedly hot. He was like a malnourished Christian Grey. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.” she agreed, sparkle in her eyes as she stared up at him with admiration.

Muffy had already wrote about prom night on her Tumblr blog, but Jamie didn’t need to know. Besides, it’s not like anyone from school or the town followed her anyway. What were the Brazilian Legacies fans that followed her going to do anyway? 

“I promise.” Muffy assured, “If you want, we could make a blood pact. I don’t have a dagger, but I do have a pudding cup with an aluminum lid in my backpack. Those things give nasty paper cuts.”

[jamieslut666]

violet-matthews‌:

Nope. Don’t like that, Vi thought to herself, eyes narrowing with each new fact Muffy listed off.

It wasn’t that Vi needed herself to remain a mystery to those around her, but she definitely preferred to keep private. And even though this complete stranger had only listed off some basic facts, mix that in with the fact that her specific milkshake order had just been delivered to her as some sort of bribe and it was a perfect recipe for ‘get the hell away from me’.

But such a statement would surely make a scene, and that was the last thing Vi wanted to do when she had actively made it her mission for so long to disappear. So she glanced around, making sure that anything she was about to say was as private as it could be in the middle of a crowded cafeteria.

“I don’t think a Murder Club would be officially sanctioned by the school,” Vi warned, needing Muffy to pick up on what she was saying. If she was already a lost cause, there was no use in even speaking with her. But if she knew how to be discrete, there was hope yet. “Look, whatever conversation we’re about to have right now, please just remember to keep your voice down.”

The mental debate as to whether or not she would actually reveal anything was short and sweet, Vi offering an apologetic smile before she spoke up once more.

“Have you ever seen Fight Club? Because I haven’t, but even I know the major quote from that movie and it definitely applies here. I’m not about to spill any secrets and I can’t be your person on the inside. I already have enough problems with Jamie, and if he doesn’t want you in the club and he finds out that we even had this conversation he’ll probably whisper something controversial into my father’s ear and I won’t have a door again, and I can’t go back to that life. I will say, however, that I showed up and refused to leave. And I’m still here.”

“Neither would the Furry Alliance.” she replied, Violet’s words not soaking in yet. It took a beat of Violet staring at the girl for Muffy to pick up what she was trying to imply. Admittedly, the secrecy intrigued her even more. Boring clubs didn’t keep secrets. What the fuck was the chess club hiding? Nothing. They were plebeians to the confidential Murder Club-- or should she say, ‘newspaper club.’

“I can be super quiet. I’ve acquired this skill through years of telling my step mom that she’s a bitch without her actually hearing me.” Muffy whispered excitedly, leaning in with her hands on the lunch table. “I’m not a fan of action movies-- except for maybe Twilight and Vampire Academy and Hunger Games. If I’m going to dedicate two hours of my life to watching men fight then it better be over a girl or boy they’re trying to court.” she rambled, her mind eventually rounding back to the point Violet had been trying to make, “But yeah, I can respect that. I don’t want my Jamiekins losing valuable members to his posse. When Jamie eventually leaves his girlfriend and him and I are having pillow talk, I’ll be sure to let him know what a trustworthy and loyal person you’ve been to him.”

For the first time since she plopped herself down, Muffy was quiet. She looked a bit uncomfortable, like she wanted to ask something but was biting her tongue. 

“Is it fun?” she asked quietly. She was referring to having a friend group, but the vagueness made it sound like she was just asking about being in the club in general.

[jamieslut666]

jaspermalek‌:

Draco and Luna. Huh. That was certainly and interesting turn of events. Muffy was…entertaining if nothing else. She had certainly tried to keep things interesting at the party and Jasper felt bad for her. Being lonely wasn’t something anyone should have to deal with. High school was already alienating but being different in a small town made you all but unapproachable. He had been there before and to just leave Muffy high and dry felt awful. So he watched with manufactured curiosity as she shuffled her cars.

“Dungeons and Dragons? You know I haven’t ever played that but it always seems cool. I just don’t really have the time.” He hummed for a minute. “So what other things can you do as a witch? Other than drawing cards, which is impressive since I have no idea how any of that would work.”

Hopefully that cards wouldn’t pull some weird prank on him and let the whole world know he felt a little held hostage by Muffy Blair.

“Just to clarify you know that to be an LGBT ally you should probably just be everyone’s ally and call it good.”

“It’s like the coolest thing on the planet! Ya know, besides Jamie Ward.” she explained, making sure that no one, even for a moment, think that she didn’t believe that Jamie was send here by Hecate herself. “I’ve never actually played with people, but I read a lot of guides and watch a lot of videos on it. I tried asking the other people in band if they wanted to play, but apparently they’re too busy practicing. Like, what’s the fun in actually rehearsing for band? I don’t care what any early 2000s movie says about band geeks, there’s definitely not enough sex at band camp.”

Muffy definitely enjoyed Jasper taking an interest in her witchiness. She forgot what it was like to actually have someone asking you things without the intention of making fun of you. “You do stuff like spells or go lay out in the full moon until your acne is cleared or whatever. I have a lot less zits now, but that may also be because I started Proactive. Anyway, I did this thing called a sour jar and it totally worked because this girl who’s been absolutely awful to me busted her ass.” she explained, referring to Edwina. The girl hadn’t even really spoken to Muffy, but Jasper didn’t need to know she was making that part up. In Muffy’s head, stealing her man was a form of bullying.

“I am totally everyone’s ally, but you know how it is around here. The football team is homophobic, but if their girlfriend made out then they’d cream themselves like a Twinkie factory malfunction.” Muffy explained, “Ya gotta assure people that you’re an ally. Anyway, Let me do your reading because you definitely need a vibe check, dude.”

Muffy dragged Jasper along with her as she looked for somewhere to sit. She avoided fulling them into an empty classroom because God forbid someone saw and told Jamiekins that she was alone with another tired-eyed man. Lunch had just started, so she opted to go outside to one of the outdoor tables. 

She made Jasper pick out 6 cards from the deck before laying them out in front of them. Individually she flipped them over and proceeded to tell him what they meant. She went on about how the Temperance card meant he was looking for harmony and that the Tower indicated that perhaps he was looking for easy solutions. She went through 5 before flipping over the last-- the Death card.

“Oh, don’t worry! It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to die!” she assured, sensing that it might be a bit alarming to be staring at a grotesque skeleton in your future deck. “So this basically means you’re about to go through a life change. It’s like something old is going to die, but something new comes out of it. Like a rebirth or something.”

[jamieslut666]

It’s lunchtime at Normal Secondary and you, Muffy Blair, have positioned yourself as close as you possibly can to the newspaper club’s table. They don’t always sit together, but they’re huddled up today speaking in hushed tones. Even Bryce is there now! Even Mariana! But they still won’t let you in.

You’re perfectly steamed about it, but you’re finding catharsis in some fanfiction. It’s open on your computer, an old favorite of yours. The scene is about to get juicy. Naruto is about to kiss away Sasuke’s tears then rail him with all nine of his Hokage tails while Sakura secretly watches. You’re all amped up, speed reading to get to the good bits, when suddenly… something seems amiss.

This isn’t what you remember writing. Sasuke is in pain, he’s the Woobie! So why has someone altered the text so that he’s smiling? 

Sasuke’s smile grew wide, then wider. Painfully wide until it was as though something on his face had broken. 

Then, he turned to look at you, Muffy.

You jump at the sight of your own name, briefly looking at the populated cafeteria around you like maybe somebody else noticed something weird happening. But no, this was all you. You look back at the fanfic.

“I see you, Muffy-chan,” Sasuke said. “I have so many questions. But first, the most important… truth or dare?”

The only pro to sitting alone at lunch was being able to read smutty ninja fanfiction in peace. She had tried to read aloud Looking At You to the chess team, but they didn’t appreciate great literature like she did.

At least she had her fanfics. Words were more reliable than people anyway. Words can’t wake up one morning and decide they don’t feel like hanging out with you anymore.

Muffy didn’t remember this part though.

The sight of her name was confusing to say the least. This fic had never been a Y/N before, so why the sudden edits? As she continued to dive into the story, it became a lot less tongues battling for dominance and a lot more terror.

“WOW COOL!” she exclaimed, smiled back at her screen and clutching the sides, “I’ve never been haunted before! This is so rad!” Muffy took her journal out to document the occasion. She needed to write this down so she wouldn’t forget the Wattpad idea she just had which involved a human and a demon so sexually attracted to each other that he possesses her (sex was cool, but have you ever had your demonic lover literally inside of you?)

“Oh sorry, sorry!” she apologized, adjusting herself in her seat to take the entity seriously. “Dare!” 

[jamieslut666]

violet-matthews‌:

For Violet Matthews, lunchtime was work time.

Having planted herself near a grouping of people who she’d hung out with maybe once or twice and who liked her well enough but not so much that they would keep her engaged in conversation beyond general pleasantries, Vi had settled in for the period, keeping herself isolated from any distractions in the form of friend(s) and/or demons. Sure, things had been batshit for months, but homework was still most definitely a thing, and the best way for Vi to work off her most recent house arrest was to shower her father in proof that she really was his perfect sunshine daughter.

She needed A’s. Therefore, she needed silence.

But it seemed like the universe was determined to not let her have it that day. Head only raising enough for her to get a quick look at who had sat down across from her, Vi’s eyes narrowed immediately at the mention of Norman. Who was this girl?

“Oh. Thanks…” Vi started, nervous about where exactly the conversation was heading. “That’s the vibe we like to give off in public. It’s like… a thing for us.” She didn’t need randoms questioning her fake relationship, so false reassurances were all she had. The last thing she’d been expecting that period was for the girl from the nightmare party that she knew the least to settle in at her table and slide her her favorite milkshake, but was anything really that surprising anymore? But wait. How did she know? And where did she get it from??

“Violet,” the blonde introduced herself, tiptoeing into things with as much caution as possible and not daring to take a sip of the shake. This sudden encounter felt so targeted. It was clear immediately upon the girl’s next question that Vi was simply a means to an end, which had Vi breathing a little easier, but not entirely.

Right. This was the girl who Jamie had been dared to kiss. Unfortunate. For Muffy, obviously.

“I am in Newspaper Club. I had to prove I was willing to die for them to finally get in,” she deadpanned, knowing that even though it was the truth (and she was still bitter about that), she could not let the girl think that was some sort of initiation rite. Considering the lengths Muffy was willing to go to just to get basic information on joining, she felt a particular need to clarify. Just in case… “Just kidding,” she quickly followed up, wondering how heavily she should lean into the front that they were just Newspaper Club. “Well, I’m really good at editing, so it’s nice to be able to offer up skills.”

“Oh don’t worry, I know who you are.” It sounded very ominous, but Muffy somehow managed to make it sound as if she was reassuring Violet that she could keep the money she owed her. “You live on the North side with your dad, you’re best friends with Holly-Eve Knights, you have a strange intrigue with overalls. . .” Muffy counted off on her finger, ready to continue, but she remembered that she was there with a purpose.

“Not newspaper club.” she corrected, leaning in with excitement, “I mean Murder Club.” It was no secret that people liked to call the rag tag team that behind their backs since the beauty pageant, but no one ever seemed to twist it in the positive way Muffy had just. Usually it was followed by sneers, but Muffy looked genuinely enthralled by the idea of the club. “I know you guys don’t actually ever write stuff in there. There’s like what? Five of you in newspaper club? I think if you guys were actually spending all your time on articles then they’d be a little more interesting than what gets put out.” Holly-Eve and Jamie’s articles were usually good, but Kaz attempting to write about the upcoming election had just been sad for him and everyone who dared to pick up the paper that week.

“I’d totally die for the Murder Club, but he still won’t let me join!” she exclaimed, referring to Jamie. Well, she might not die for Edwina, but 4/5 people was still better than none. “You guys totally busted that beauty pageant! And I know Jamie and you guys have been trying to find Kaz’s brother. I want in, but I want to know how. I’m desperate. You need to tell me how to do it.”

[jamieslut666]

mariana--diaz‌:

There was a time when Mariana was best friends with Muffy Blair. Their friendship had lasted a number of years, from elementary school to the beginning of high school. Until Mariana realized what would make her sought after, and that having Muffy around would just negatively impact the popularity she was trying to achieve for herself. After her transformation, the blonde all but forgot about her once friend. High school was a dog eat dog world and she was willing to do what needed to be done in order to be considered apart of the popular crowd. Who wouldn’t?

The two girls hadn’t spoken in a while, but it seemed their shared experience on prom night meant that Muffy suddenly assumed it was okay to speak to her. When Mariana heard the familiar voice on the other side of her locker, she partially closed the door to check that she really was the one Muffy was speaking to, and when her suspicions were confirmed it was only an eye-roll that greeted her ex-best friend. “Yeah it was definitely crazy.” She muttered, looking around the halls to see if anyone noticed that the two girls had shared words. So far so good.

When Muffy brought up the woman Mariana had spoken to, she was the only one who had followed Sue Ann’s mother out of the house to question her, her body tensed. What did she want to know. And why was she asking her somewhere so public like school? Slamming the locker door shut, Mariana looked around once more before grabbing Muffy’s wrist and tugging her into an empty class room. “Do you really think that stuff is smart to talk about in the hallways?” She snapped out as she shut the door behind them. When she turned back to the brunette, her arms were crossed over her chest. “That woman was a crazy bitch. Just rambling about bullshit. Kept talking about the game.” She muttered, bringing a hand up to rub her temples. 

Muffy could usually say whatever and her peers just brushed it off as Muffy being weird again. After all, they had done so when Muffy started letting people know she was a witch. Everyone in her English class had just rolled their eyes at her and told her to just read her damn part in The Crucible. However, Mariana was a different case now. She was popular and winsome so people actually latched on to things she said. Mariana was right, it wasn’t smart, but Muffy wasn’t about to tell the girl that.

“Oh please, you just didn’t want anyone to see me talking to you.” she huffed defensively, avoiding admitting it was in fact a bad idea. Muffy was kind of impressed that Mariana could still cross her chest though, having gone through a second spout of puberty overnight and all. “Well yeah duh she was crazy. Mentally stable people don’t just have wine coolers sitting around to give to children. They give them Four Lokos.” A different indication of crazy, but at least they could both agree that the lady was nutty as peanut butter.

“Okay, but like what about it?” she egged on, her curiosity still not fed. “Come on, Mar, she was saying stuff about us dying. I don’t know about what goes on through new you’s head, but I’m pretty sure the old Mariana wouldn’t have wanted to die or something-- And I don’t want to either so I kinda wanna know if you think this batty bitch was just Florida news report crazy or if we should actually be worried.”

[jamieslut666]

jaspermalek‌:

Jasper was in the slow and constant process of trying not to lose his mind every minute of the day. Ever since that party things had gone from freaky to freakiest, jumping right over freakier. He could still hear Edwina’s shriek, the weird as shit thing that the Sue-Ann woman had said, and every other terrifying admission that the so called Journalism Club had come to. Not that he was one to judge people on the extracurriculars. Sometimes he played scrabble with senile people just to feel accomplished.

When the locker door closed, he jumped back with a surprised half shriek, meeting eyes with Muffy. She had certainly created an interested time at the party and now was no exception. He was about to brush past her with some lame excuse before she started talking.

And oh boy could she talk.

Every word that came out of her mouth was mind boggling to say the least. He didn’t even know where to begin in correcting her misinformation.

“Right. Okay well I’m not homosexual. You’re close. I identify as bisexual. Less Kevin Keller more Toni Topaz, if you will.” He offered her a half smile. “But I’m glad to hear you are….an ally. I guess.”

He was going to disappear. He knew Mariana growing up so he’d heard about Muffy off and on and she was just as intense as he could ever have imagined. But she seemed so…sad. And lonely. He’d been there before.

“I’m not super into tarot but if you’re interested I could use a reading at lunch. I mean why not? It’s always good to broaden your horizons.”

Probably. He got the feeling that Muffy wasn’t someone who knew how to take no for an answer. And maybe this was a chance to educate her on some of her misconceptions of the queer community. Small town life did that.

Muffy didn’t flinch at the boy’s small yelp. Instead, she continued to verbally bulldoze over their conversation. “I see.” she nodded, mentally jotting down that she should buy him a pink blue and purple flag for June instead. She should have known she he did look like he desperately needed a nap and, to Muffy’s knowledge, bisexual people were always sleep deprived for some reason (probably because they had nightmares about uncuffed jeans). “Well, lucky for you I am also an ally to the bisexual community as well. I ship Harry with both Draco and Luna.” Hopefully Jasper wouldn’t fall in love with her. She was a taken woman after all.

At his acceptance to her offer, Muffy seemingly pulled her deck out of thin air (where the fuck did she pull it from anyway??). “You’re just in luck because I just learned this super cool spread. I was trying to get insight if I’d get a new macbook for Christmas, but it told me to beware of being motivated solely by self-interest so that’s super rad too.” 

Muffy started cutting the deck, fumbling with the cards. Occasionally one slipped out and she had to quick time react to catch it, but Muffy had never been a card player so the slowness came with learning something new. “I could totally do it now if you want. If this was D&D I’d totally be like a level 2 Sorceress, but I’m getting there.”

[jamieslut666]

devilsward‌:

Jamie didn’t really avoid people as much as he got lost in all the other shit he did. Okay, maybe part of that was to help him forget about the irrelevant parts of his life like Frank and bespectacled girls at parties who wanted to kiss him. 

To be fair, it really was all minor hiccups in his quest to find the truth. Finding missing boys and making sure his club didn’t perish under some witchy curse was way more important than what was happening to his mortal meat puppet but sometimes, he found himself in a position where he was forced to reel his brain back into reality. Like when he was being accosted in the hallways by said bespectacled girl.

He looked at her, bewildered that she was in his way. He clutched his books a little tighter to his chest like a shield. 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” he asked. Playing dumb was the best way to go about these things and with the chaos ensuing among the members of the club, inducting more was out of the question. Her passionate plea was troublesome, for he knew that magic was real and that hapless digging meant that this girl could unearth something else by accident. Still, letting her in meant more of… what happened at the party. He turned a little red thinking about it.

Jamie hesitated. “Uh… this… is Johnnie. You’ve got the wrong brother.”

“Muffy? I sit 2 rows and 8 inches behind you in first period? Our tongues made love at the party this weekend?” Perhaps Jamie was just so ashamed that he enjoyed their passionate lip lock more than he did with his actual girlfriend. She mentally forgave him for pretending to not know of her existence. Him being so enchanted by her that he had to push her away was kind of hot. It reminded her of when Edward acted like he just smelled rotting fish when Bella Swan walked into a room.

“I know you’re not Johnnie because Johnnie’s bangs always have a perfect 106 degree swoop in the front. Your shirt also still has that oil stain from when you had a cheeseburger last month. I could pick you out even if you were a sextuplet.” Muffy’s eyes had a tendency to go wide when she got passionate and it probably would have been somewhat endearing if she wasn’t talking like a deranged person. 

Her hands were still holding her backpack as her arms chicken winged out at her sides. “Please, I’ll do anything!” The sound of some friends giggling past them caught her attention. It was another reminder why Muffy was sort of desperate to join in. “I watch you guys and I see how you all just take people in. You don’t really care about their story or who they do or don’t hangout with. . . I thought it’d be nice to have friends like that.”

Muffy had already gone on about what she could offer, but Jamie didn’t seem interested in that stuff. She was about to give up, but she thought she’d try a different tactic.

“Do you guys like Dungeons and Dragons?”

[jamieslut666]

"So I heard a rumor you were dating the mayor’s son.” Muffy has invited herself to sit down with Violet at lunch. Perhaps she should ask people before interrupting their meal to interrogate them about their relationships, but that was no fun. “And by rumor I mean I watched you two walk in together and let me just say I think you guys have the chemistry of a oil and water.” She wasn’t attempting to be rude, in fact she thought she was helping with her observation.

“I mean like, don’t get me wrong you both are really attractive and he’s rich, but where’s the spark?” Muffy shoved one of her french fries into her mouth before realizing she didn’t introduce herself. “Hi. I’m Muffy.” 

Muffy slid the blonde a vanilla milkshake with all the classic trimmings. Through her stalking of Jamie, she also did some stalking of his friends so Muffy knew well that this was Violet’s favorite flavor. It felt less like a nice gesture and more like a mob boss bribing a cop. “Okay, your love life aside, although quite enticing may I just say, I know you’re in Jamie’s club. I want to know how you got in considering ya got a father in the fuzz and all.”

// @violet-matthews​