@jammin-media-medium - Tumblr Blog

cleopatrachampagne

jammin-media-medium

If someone could make me thorn from the hex girls, I'd definitely have less reasons to be depressed

animentality

stop talking, stop spitting in my ear, that's not one of the orifices I want spit in.

shumw4y-deactivated20250804

Dysphoria just fucking sucks, the more i live how i want, the more it hurts when i don't, its was easier to not care, to depresse, to disassociate, to abuse drugs and my body

But even after that game plan it still hurts more with skin in the game, i care, i fucking care about myself, fuckidey fuck fuckfuck, now when I lie and hide because it's easier, or im a coward, it hurts

I used to do it so smoothly and now it just sticks in my throat, i can feel the damage its doing to my soul , how it fuck up my future

I now know the things i want to be different, and they aren't , i say nothing, do nothing, be nothing

But im no longer nothing, and it fucking sucks

#transgirl #transgender #trans #sad thoughts #transfem #transition

desultory-suggestions

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

self-loving-vampire

This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.