A couple weeks ago my bands (@sirenvalley) EP "Scratched Up Heart" came out. Back when we were recording I said I would share about the songs and go more in depth on this page. There was one in particular I wanted to share with you because it's a message close to my heart. However, I've put it off, because everytime I typed it out, I'd chicken out. I've never made it public knowledge, and changing that is a little scary. I'm done being scared to share, though. So here we go: "Body In Your Bed" was written based off an abusive relationship I was in. I was young, very innocent, and very naive. He saw that and took advantage of it. He said all the right things in the beginning.We talked about marriage, and what our lives would look like. I thought he was the one. Soon things changed, though. He became abusive, emotionally and physically, even though I didn't fully understand this until later. He wanted things I wasn't ready for, and when I'd tell him to slow down he'd call me a tease. Eventually he started to leave bruises, mostly in places people couldn't see. I thought this was my fault. I must have accidentally lead him on, and it was just hard for him to stop, and so he'd leave his frustration on me. I didn't talk to anyone about it, though my friends and family would notice bruises poking out from under my clothes. I'd make up lies that I fell. Right before we broke up I had made the decision that I wasn't going to try to stop him anymore, that I would give him what he wanted cause it was better than being hurt and possibly being forced into it one day. At least this way it was my choice. Fortunately, the next time I saw him we broke up and I felt like I was saved. A lot of people may ask why I never broke up with him before that. It's hard to explain in words, but not all the times were bad, and I held on to that thinking that each "bad time" would be the last and soon it would be just like it was in the beginning. He was the first man I had ever loved. I didn't know what the other side of that looked like. It took me awhile to finally talk to someone about what happened. It took even longer for me to realize it wasn't my fault. It left me believing I wasn't the girl worthy of sweeping romantic relationships. I was broken and just good enough to be a temporary comfort. He kept coming around for years after we broke up to remind me of that. Finding ways to message me, tell me he missed me just to end with him calling me names because I wouldn't give him what he wanted. It was a battle, but I finally realized that I was worth more than the way he treated me. I am worth more than just a girl to lay in someone's bed. I wanted to share my story, because I know there are a lot of people out there that have gone or are going through similar situations. So I wrote this song, "Body In Your Bed". It was a cathartic release and a reminder of my worth, and I hope that it's a reminder of your worth too. We decided to start a campaign: #iamworthsomuchmore. We encourage you to share your stories if you feel comfortable. I want people to see that they aren't alone, that they don't deserve to be treated that way, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The more we speak up and share, maybe the more people will see their worth. We also created a T-shirt on our store (swipe to see). A portion of the proceeds from each shirt will be donated to the Fight Against Domestic Violence. I want to reach out and help lift others and let them know "you are worth so much more". ♥️
