JANE ASHLEY PHOTO

perth | coffee | music

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watching a sunrise with one of my closest friends Pete, reminded me of all the good times in my life and how far I've come, and how I just want to use this life to appreciate every moment. Not to get caught up in the nonsense of it all. To not have to deal with the silly manipulative emotional games people like to play, to push and pull people, to make them feel guilty, to only spend time with them to get something they want. I don't want to waste anymore of my life worrying about all that, it's a waste of energy and time/energy could be used on developing skills, to become a better person, to be someone new and exciting. To know that I've spent the last 6 months within a bubble of self awareness, of being completely present but also completely transformed and at peace. I know that I am now living and breathing the new perspectives I've learnt, and I'm now finding a way to become more at peace with myself but hopefully signal and direct the energy outwards to heal others. It will be interesting to see where my work takes me, and how life as a physio would differ now with a new perspective than before. I know that if I started to change, in a way I did not like, I would practice to bring myself back to the inner peace and freedom. To know that I don't need to go anywhere or experience anything new to be content and fulfilled. Spending time with Pete and my older sister made me realise I am so aware of the people around me, and I will love them regardless, but I will also only direct energy and effort and valuable time to those who want to be with me. As I say, if people don't want to be with me - or they can live without me, so be it. I am only here to be a safe space for people to be themselves unjudged. If people do not want or need that, then I don't need to be in your life. No longer do I have expectations. I will only do what I can because I want to, not to gain anything more than a beautiful moment we have right now.

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Day 1 of Life is an artform in Bali. Beautiful emotional wonderful day, filled with another first step towards the unknown. Jesh De Rox, you amaze me with your sense of awareness. Thank you for sharing your secrets of life. I will continue forever changing and I cannot wait for the infinite possibilities.

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I can’t really explain this moment. I have always been afraid of monkeys because I used to think they’d physically hurt me in some ways. The monkey held in Canggu villa in a cage she would probably spend the rest of her life in, had broken my heart completely.

The sun was setting, the golden hour was at it’s peak, for a photographer this means do everything you can to be in 100 places at once. I had taken a few shots around, but fortunately I came across two cages with two beautiful monkeys, and they approached me as if they were searching for food. I had none on me, and couldn’t find the owner to ask them if I could feed them at all. One was playful, running around and jumping, but there was an older her, she sat by the cage and just looked at me with her sad eyes filled with a story to tell. Like she had seen so much, and I could not hear it from her. I reached out, not even knowing what she’d do to me, she could have bitten me, scratched me, anything! But for some reason, I had to reach out to her. And I'm glad I did.

I was not expecting it, but she reached out and held onto my hand. Like a human being. It wasn’t a handshake, or those meaningless hand gestures we normally do, or the flirty touching of hands or holding hands romantically. It was a reach for desperation. For contact, for connection, to remind her of something more than who she was. As if my hand was all she was waiting for. I had never felt a monkey the size of her hold my hand, she had delicate fingers, bones, muscles and skin like me, the anatomy of the human body was no different to hers. She was me. And I was her. She was silent, and so was I, we looked at eachother and I could tell she was at peace, not just by her gaze, but just a sense. She placed her other hand on my forearm, draped it over like she was telling me a good story and wanted me to hear it all. She was relaxed, she leaned her small frail body against the cage, her short grey fur and skin creasing against the wire. She had her head against the cage, and she closed her eyes, while I stroked her little fingers, and let her hold onto my hand. I was expecting her to let go at any stage, but she did the opposite.

She had her eyes closed, not in a sleepy way, or a tired way. But in a way of prayer. As if she was praying. I watched her and I took it in, I felt like I was praying with her. I sat down on the floor with her as the sun continued to set, I don’t know how long I was there for, and I don’t think we both cared. We had eachother and that’s all that mattered. Before I could even pull away, I could feel her grip tightening, as if she already knew my decision when I started to think about having to go to dinner, it’s like she knew I was going to leave, and I knew she didn’t want me to leave.

I have never had a connection like this with an animal before. But as I looked at her, and as we held eachother for that moment, I knew that we are not different at all. I was just as animal-like as she was. Surprisingly, I felt like she had more spirit than I did.. And it was so comforting to have her with me. I felt blessed to have met her.

Most of the things I’m going through, have given me opportunities to take it in but also to take something away from everything. And this connection I have with her, is everything I needed.

She healed me. And I hope I healed her too. We didn’t need to say anything, we just held hands, in a way that had more meaning than just love. It was so much more than that.

[janeashleyphoto]

"there were always choices to make. everyday, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom." - Victor Frankl #feelslikehome #qantasinstaper @qantas -- if you do not hear from me, hear this: surrender and let go, forgive those who hurt others, including yourself. see only the beautiful and the potentially brilliant moments even if you don't believe it yet, connect with another and create exchanges worth remembering. don't just do, be. embrace your imperfections. appreciate the ones who love you. don't look for happiness or success. silence and surrender heals more than words. live in the moment. realize that all that's left for you to do, is love.

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Photo credit: Jane Ashley Photography What color would you say best describes your life? I ask this question because whatever color you decide, depends on the way you see your life. And the way you see your life, changes everything about it. #janeashleywrites

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Got together for the Perth Qantas Instameet today. Met amazing people local and from interstate. The instagram community is growing exponentially :) Huge thank you to Jarrad Seng for always inviting Perth out and inspiring us to be creative! Finally got to have great conversations with new people and even create some fun portraits :) Let's keep this going! Next up, Bali's Life is an Art Form! My life will continue changing, and I will continue changing with it. I have all the friends I will ever need, we love eachother and everything is mutual and easy, the people in my life who treat me as convenience, make me feel worse or have forgotten about me don't really deserve to stay in it. I need to let some people go, especially those who have hurt me, to provide space for new beautiful souls to enter and make my life worth living.

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I've finally fallen out of love with you. #progress

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There is something about spending the afternoon with a 2 year old under the sun surrounded with beauty of the sand trying desperately to remember how the water moves. I feel misunderstood, or maybe I feel like I don't want to or need to be understood. I am like the child that runs back and forth into the water, the one that immerses myself into something I don't understand. All I know is that I enjoy it and it makes me happy. I don't even consider how long it takes for me, I'll go on until my feet won't take me further, or I'll get hungry, or I start to feel cold as the sun sets. I watch the waves and I'm scared of it, but I'm curious and reckless, so I'll run into it with everything I've got. O darling, let's not be afraid, let's be adventurers. Photos: Jane Ashley Photography

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This exerpt is from Roland Barthes' chapter, Sobria Ebrietas: "to let come what comes, to let pass what goes, to possess nothing, to repel nothing: to recieve, not to keep, to produce without appropriating. So desire still irrigates the Non-will to possess by this perilous movement: I love you is in my head but I imprison it behind my lips. I do not divulge. I say silently to who is no longer... the other: 'I keep myself from loving you'" I'll be making many of my references to the next book I'm reading which are the complex definitions and words to describe love and desire in each of it's forms. This Non-will to possess, is the realization that even though you love someone so much, there are emotional difficulties with loving that person which creates this notion to abandon all "will to possess" in his regard for this loved one. For me, the perfect example would be a final realization that no matter how much you love someone, especially when you love them too much and they don't accept what you give. You choose to surrender and let go all the feelings and emotions that arise from certain circumstances with the person you loved. You might still love them, to the point of sacrifice or suicide, but you abandon, maybe childishly, the intensity of your love for them. They will never know how much they meant to you, but the calm and sad part is that they will never ask and as you abandon the notion of love for them, you have stopped being concerned for them, because when you were completely in love, you felt everything they did and it was no burden to you. But now, when they ask for you, you will support, when they forget you it doesn't mean anything anymore. People might feel this way when they give up on love or maybe they have just grown up and let go of the hurt they have been through. You don't own them which means there is no jealousy, no expectations, no anger towards or anything. There is just them and you. This might be another level of love, to the point where nothing defines your love for someone except the fact that they exist, and that is enough to love. Non-will to possess goes hand in hand with letting the person be as they are - and surrendering yourself to accept that. Photos: Jane Ashley Photography Instagram: @janeashleyphoto

[janeashleyphoto]

Every day I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things I want to do that day. But it's about being efficient and making space. To build things and then to let go. I have a few books I want to read but I have so many things on my mind or so many choices with what to do that I tend to not focus on one task clearly. To pull yourself back to the present, the absolute present of only being in the current moment is one of the hardest things to do. But once you are aware and practice being in the moment, there is nothing that can pull you away from inner peace. I've spoken a lot about it but I guess it's really hard to explain. It doesn't matter with how things go outside, nothing defines me. There were a few people in my life that I had to let go, or force myself to. There are some people who I thought about and loved so much that it was too much for them... And now I have forced myself to stop seeing them in that way, in a way in which I love too much. I haven't given up on the prospect of friendship, I think I've just chosen the people I want to be around and they are already enough. Those people who want to be around me, and fight for me if I need it - they mean everything to me. So I'm working hard on my project and typing things up- before the backlog gets out of hand. For now I'll continue to work on my portraits for my friends and see where we go from there . Such is life, what a beautiful place to be x

[janeashleyphoto]

i choose not to say much most of the time, not until the moment is forced for me to stand up for you. that's what love is, i think. no matter what the risk, we willingly give our everything to the ones we love. there's nothing wrong with that, to love you that much. My ramblings Photocredit Jane ashley photography

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Late nights in Guilderton, Western Australia

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I believe that I changed your life, even if you pretend I don’t exist. 

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Who am I? 

[janeashleyphoto]

I was asked to create a self portrait of myself to define me and also express where I am in life. It was fun trying to create this. You can conclude what you'd like but I have never felt more honest and accepting of my imperfections than right now. I am all, shadows, and bright lights. More to come.

[janeashleyphoto]

I’ve become so immersed in portraits that I’d like to dive deeper into it. I think one of the only ways to appreciate yourself, in all your imperfections (like, me and my dislike of being on this side of the camera and my small nose and one small eye) I think portrait photography with a side of moment design - I know I can take it to the next level and I hope to continue using my photography as a means of connecting with oneself. So much more than just a pretty face (hahaha!) I’m radiating with inner joy and happiness. There have been many times each day when I’m going through shit or there’s no hot water for showers and I am just beaming with happiness anyway. Ahhhh so much feelings.

I’m starting a new chapter with moment design and I can’t wait to see where this course takes me. Every step I have taken since Wei Wei passed away has been leading me to the most amazing places. I have to thank him for it, but I think I have to thank myself for finally loving all my imperfections.