The disconnect between what SJM writes and what she thinks she writes is wild.
The Call Her Daddy podcast interview was yet another one that shows she has no idea what she's actually doing.
"... the super powerful dude wants to get on his knees in front of this lady, like she is in control of him 100%..."
The power dynamic in ACOTAR is always the men over the women. Nowhere do we see what she's describing here.
"....they want a lover who is also like a best friend that like they can be equal with and speak to on an honest level."
The narrative shows the couples are -not- equal and -can't- have honest conversations, over and over, at different times in different ways.
Feyre and Rhysand :
“You promised—you promised no secrets, no games. You promised. [...] I don’t want to hear you explain how you assumed that you knew best, that I couldn’t handle it [...] I don’t want to hear you tell me that you decided I was to be kept in the dark while your friends knew, while you all decided what was right for me—” (ACOMAF, Ch. 50) Feyre began shaking. “If I die …” Her gaze drifted to one of her tattooed arms. She lifted her head, eyes bright with tears as she asked Amren, “You … all of you knew this? [...] Rhys knew?” Tears spilled down Feyre’s cheeks, smearing the paint splattered there. (ACOSF, Ch.46)
Nesta and Cassian :
“This isn’t coming out the way it should. We argued about whether to tell you, but we took a vote and it went in your favor. Because we trust you. I just … hadn’t gotten a chance to bring it up yet.” (ACOSF, Ch. 45) “[...] And I knew what that meant, what had happened, even though you didn’t, and I didn’t want to scare you. You weren’t ready for the truth—not yet.” (ACOSF, Ch.62)
Elain and Azriel :
Elain said, “[...] I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today. [...] Find me when you wish to begin.” (ACOSF, Ch.21) Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” (ACOSF, Ch.29)
So when she says the men are "respecting and honoring" the women—
Literally, where?
2 out of 3 men ignored the boundaries of and outright abused the women. All three men disrespect the agency of women in general.
Rhysand :
He physically assaulted Feyre to coerce her into a bargain she tried resisting, and sexually assaulted her for months. When she was later forced to spend time with him, he gaslighted her. Memories that we have of her POV of in the first book were reworked into something completely different. He gave ridiculous excuses (My post about UTM) and she ended up believing he sexually assaulted her "for the greater good". Once together, Rhysand subjected Feyre to reproductive abuse along with the revelation she doesn't have a support system.
Feyre :
She holds an empty title that nobody in the IC actually takes seriously. Rhysand has meetings and makes decisions without her, sometimes even acting expressly against her wishes (HOFAS bonus chapter). Azriel was told something by Feyre and looked to Rhysand for confirmation. Cassian has directly just ignored her wishes to do what he wants.
Cassian :
Despite Nesta making it clear she didn't want anything to do with him, Cassian would not leave her alone. He stalked her, and eventually she was forced to live with him and have him control her life. He subjected her to physical and mental abuse on that hike that was actually a full-on grueling trek. (My post about it)
Nesta :
The IC forced her under house arrest, making her train and undertake dangerous fetch quests when she was dealing with PTSD after war. When she told Feyre her pregnancy was a death sentence, with Rhyand's gleeful approval and Azriel's packing of the bag, Cassian used extreme physical activity to break her down—the way cults do to make their victims vulnerable to brainswashing. He wanted to punish her, was angry and taking it out on her with the labor and silent treatment, ignoring her struggling – physically to exhaustion and dehydration, and mentally with passive suicidal ideation – behind him for days on end. (Learning about "alpine divorce", I thought immediately of Nessian.)
Azriel :
He couldn't take the hint in hundreds of years that Morrigan is not interested in him. He keeps Elain on a pedestal, disregarding the fact she willingly stepped up to fulfill the IC's goals and wants to be taken seriously. He infantilizes her, doesn't think of her past his libido, and foremost sees her as a reason to feel left out that his brothers have mates and he doesn't.
Elain :
None of the men supported or stood up for her after she volunteered to work for the IC. The IC instead used her as a bargaining chip against Nesta, to get Nesta to do what they wanted, instead of respecting that Elain wanted to help.
"...[Rhysand makes] perhaps a bad call..."
Perhaps??? 🙈
This woman writes what amounts to patriarchy propaganda (boys will be [500 year old] boys), poorly masquerading as "feminist healing stories", and it's crazy to me that so many people can't see that.












