NO WAY IN, NO WAY OUT

The snack bandit

[c3rvida3]

How To Tell Your Cat That You Could Walk To His Food Faster If He Weren't Weaving Under Your Fucking Feet In A Beautiful And Intricate Idiot's Ballet

[evilsoup]

how to tell human,,, "ilove you",,,

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

[waspcup]

hello my name is Very tiny flying insect i see you’ve got an uncovered beverage outdoors. Can i fall into it and kill myself please please please please please please please please please please

[weaver-z]

Just walked past a group of girls rather quickly and I heard one of them say "oh she is proceeding" as I turned the corner

[number1girl]

me at the job i begged god for

[kuragin]

this is the most underrated part of rockin’ and rollin’ yoda

[bunjywunjy]

Luke’s face is what makes this.

[fluffnfuzzxoxo]

Happy star wars day

[cafffine]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[shithowdy]

when the whole house got the autism

[shithowdy]

i think this 2-minute doodle of an exchange between me and my roommate when i found a pebble in the car cupholder is now my most circulated drawing

[likedovesdo]

[shutupmerlin]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

[000l]

girlhood is touching your necklace whenever you feel nervous

[only-tiktoks]

[giantpetrel]

[shiroscosmicass]

THATS CONK CREET BABEY

[thefloralmenace]

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

[the-real-seebs]

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

[electricpentacle]

Last time I had a really bad migraine my cat curled herself round my head and purred sympathetically, and actually stayed there through two of her normal mealtimes. It wasn't until I was able to stagger to the kitchen and grab a protein bar for myself that she gave a very small, polite miaow to the effect of "while you're up... could you get something for me too?"

[amygdalae]

grinding and cramming for finals when I'd rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

[that-clever-oc-deactivated20250]

[daily-spooky]

[daily-spooky]