[codeinequeeeen-deactivated20161]

IF YOU AINT SUCKING HIS DICK WHILE HES DRIVING THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[yallstillhere]

Getting home safely

[stupidfuckingquestions]

[zebablah-deactivated20160105]

television history

[virginmarx]

i’ve been trying to explain this sketch to people for years

[real-faker]

there is literally no way to explain this sketch it’s just a thing you have to see and even then I’m not sure why it’s so funny

[lyonface]

Actually, there is context to explain it a little bit and illustrate how fucking perfect it is.

You guys remember The OC? It was a teen drama back in the mid-2000s that ran for four seasons that was really popular, and shot a lot of previously indie and unknown music artists to at least temporary fame for being featured in the show. The song played here is “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap (formerly Frou Frou, if you all remember that one-hit “Let Go” from ‘02) and my boys Youth Group covered “Forever Young” for the show.

Anyway, this scene is a parody of the final scene of the Season 2 Finale where two characters get into a fight and a third female character walks in and shoots who she believes to be the aggressor when he reaches for a phone to smash the other guy’s head in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYIb-acZwk4

It’s really melodramatic, and clearly meant to evoke emotion, but honestly even without SNL short it tries so hard to be dramatic that it almost wraps back around to being kind of funny. The random abrupt super slow-mo absolutely bewilders me, honestly.

So, watch that scene, then watch the SNL skit again. Hopefully it’s even funnier now.

[weloveshortvideos]

literally me

[allamericanhorkbajir]

@raisinbryn1

[sandandglass]

[generalbriefing-blog]

Yep this pretty much covers how history is taught here

[jasminesmind-blog]

NYX, you are my love

[cali-cocaine]

[lapotencia55]

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

[officiallightningmcqueen]

please read this whole thing.

[theinfinitebox]

All searches relating “ted cruz” and “zodiac killer” have been removed from google

On February 26th, NPR posted this screenshot of the google search “ted cruz is”: 

“Is ted cruz the zodiac killer” is the second suggestion. Here is a screenshot from today (3/21):

Nothing about the zodiac killer. The conspiracy theory is also absent from any search suggestions for other combinations of ‘ted cruz’ and ‘zodiac killer’. So maybe there’s a reasonable explanation: fewer people are asking google if Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer, and are instead asking if he is republican or married. Nope. Not according to google trends, which shows ‘is ted cruz the zodiac killer’ as a more interesting search term since February. 

Conclusion

Ted cruz got google to remove all search suggestions relating him to the zodiac killer (because ted cruz is the zodiac killer).

[4935058-452485-deactivated20170]

Ted Cruz killed people at google

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

Do you have a "signature move" in the bedroom?

Yeah it’s called sleep

[trashybooksforladies]

[rulesofthirds]

[best-of-memes]

[fantasising-about-escape-blog]

[ratbrick]

OHMYGOD. 

Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!

[iwritewithaposionpen-hasmoved]

WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board

[dirtinthenails]

BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!

[swanofmischief]

Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.

[radical-sin-deactivated20140212]

OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE!

[enregize-deactivated20180729]

…Seriously?

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

PANTS???

[arsenalqueened-deactivated20150]

CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!

[underneath-corktrees]

Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1

[murdock]

Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?

[girlyghosty]

Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!

[strawberryoverlord]

I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!

[offvocalremade]

what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!

omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry

[aeolus06]

SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!

THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman!

[politenuclearbomb]

theres a dead body

[catfoundation-deactivated201805]

Whoop there goes the joke

[iloveyixingsomuch-blog]

Kids on a school bus bullying a Sikh boy for wearing a turban. 

[grl-fieri]

Kids learn this shit from their shitty fucking parents and that’s so sad

[be-blackstar]

They sound just like their parents. They have the nerve to be upset that they’re being filmed. 

[africant]

[mouseremote147863456]

That time when I laughed my fucking ass off inside a cinema.

[aicira]

who is making these

[antiocial]

[ddeeric]