Esmeralda appreciated the Cheshire’s tact and kindness, and the assurance that she felt at his words. Losing a man like Clopin, someone who had made such an impact on more lives than just her own, would be a blow to the entire Vagrant community across Verden. Though she could feel herself calming, the high level of anxiety that had persisted over the last few days was still as present as ever, and still threatened to consume her if she allowed it to. Stepping through the doorway, looking out over her home camp, listening to the gaping silence where there should have been laughter and singing, children running and parents scolding, this looming wave of despair inside her began lapping once more at the edges of her heart. She swallowed quickly, lest it become obvious to Jasper that there were tears of worry again pricking at her eyes. Now of all times was not one for a breakdown.
The faerie needed no guide but her direction, and she followed him closely as they approached her uncle’s sickbed. She was grateful that her tribe allowed the stranger through so quickly. Perhaps it was her presence with him. But she sensed it was more than that; he had a very calming air for such an eccentric fae, and she suspected that more than one of her family could guess at the nature of this outsider. Who else would Esmeralda have brought at this dark hour for such a purpose? She only hoped that the hour was not so dark and late that nothing could be done. Oh spirits, what if nothing could be done?
As she watched Jasper work, using his magic to make a thorough assessment of Clopin’s injury, her heart began to sink. The fae’s face spoke more than words could have: the damage was bad. For all their efforts, Clopin’s condition had worsened far more than they had imagined. The more he tried and tested and fiddled, the bigger the knot in Esme’s stomach became until she was feeling almost ill herself. She’d been too late, she realized. That simple thought was enough to extinguish the last shreds of hope that she’d been clinging to. She ceased to see any of the people in front of her, seeing only a freshly dug grave and a pyre, hearing the mourning wails and the stoic silence as the Vagrants left their king in the earth. Their second funeral in a month, the second name scratched from their vocabulary too soon. She could already feel the ache of the loss deep in her chest as though she had taken the wound after all.
For once, her light and nimble feet hadn’t been swift enough.
No tears came, not yet. Perhaps shock was setting in, keeping them at bay. She almost didn’t notice Jasper indicating she should follow him as he stepped away from her uncle’s side; it was Djali nudging her leg that prompted her to move. She didn’t think she could bear hearing aloud the news she could feel was coming. Her fists were clenched tight at her side, nails digging into her palms as she awaited the dreaded diagnosis, waited to be told once and for all how badly she had failed.
But it didn’t come. Esmeralda refocused on Jasper’s face as he spoke, words echoing softly in her ears that she almost didn’t understand. There… was a way? Her attention fixed on him keenly, processing the offer. A life for a life. It made sense, after all. A wound that grievous and life-threatening would be no small feat to heal. But a lifetime around magic and its users had imparted to her a very strong hesitancy when it came to matters of the soul. The soul was the most important part of a person, especially to her people. A gift, or a price, like that was not one to be given lightly. Despite her earlier assurance, she found herself unable to give an immediate affirmative. She had said any price, she’d known in some part of her mind that this could be an option, but no one ever really thought that they’d have to barter their soul for something, did they? Could she really give up something that personal, that essential to her very existence?
She looked back at the cot nearby, at her uncle’s pallid face, at the pile of blankets only just barely rising and falling to indicate that he was still breathing. How could she not? He had not hesitated to put himself between her and a knife, despite her inability to control her anger, and knowing full well how it might end for him. How could she do less for him? She turned her eyes to the Cheshire again, comforted somewhat by his hesitation. Clearly, he was not in the business of offering solutions of this gravity on a regular basis. That helped cement her decision. “If I were to give my soul for anyone, it would be him. And honestly, if I were to pay my soul to anyone, I’d much rather it be you. What do you need me to do?”