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Finding My Tribe
As I'm in my quarter-life crisis, I've come to the realisation that a smaller group of friends is so much more valuable to me.
Growing up, I wanted to be friends with everyone and to be the popular girl in school that everyone loved - thankfully I've grown out of that mindset and have definitely become more reserved and I guess, due to anxiety, mental and physical health and body confidence I've become increasingly withdrawn from society.
Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia back in 2017, I felt like I had no one and was fighting this invisible illness completely blind and alone; but this was because I let the loneliness in and I was the one who pushed people away.
Your mind has a way of playing cruel tricks on you and kicks you down when you're weak; so being able to open up to others and knowing that it's okay to ask for help is the strongest and most admiral thing you can do.
I'm glad to say that I've also grown out of that mindset! I'm definitely on the track to overcoming my difficulties in life. With the help of my wonderful fiancé, family, and a beautiful bunch of friends.
It was only during 2021 that I became close again to my best friend Jesse - we've always been best friends and have always been close, but I found that we sadly started to lose contact due to typical life reasons (work, university etc), until recently! We started talking more during the Pandemic and when we got the all-clear from Mr BoJo to start seeing each-other again, we saw each other weekly to then almost every other day and our bond has grown so strong!
I've also started seeing and talking to two other friends as-well, as now I feel like that I have truly found my tribe - us four is all I need and could possibly want in a group of friends. We all understand each-other, support each other and are always excited for each other's achievements and news and hype each other up.
(I can't wait for them to be my bridesmaids!)
I'm so grateful to have Jesse, Skye and Asia in my life.
I adore you ladies and thank you for always being there for me and for everything 💕
dodovely_kk
Songs That Take Me Back to Summer
I'm so ready for the Summer and when I think about the long nights, cold pints, and basking in the weather, I also think about the music that takes me back to previous Summers.
To me, Summer is about making memories and also complaining about it being too hot then wishing it was Winter already, but once the nights start drawing in and it's dark by 4pm, you wish you could go back in time and endure the heat all over again.
Summer just gives you that special feeling.
That feeling wouldn't be complete without that perfect Spotify playlist and that's what I'm going to sharing in this blog post!
More specifically, the songs that take me back to the Summer of 2018, which was full of amazing memories. My boyfriend and I started to pack to move into our current house and I also spent quality time with my parents; the highlight being, travelling to Cardiff, to see Ed Sheeran, Anne-Marie and Jamie Lawson live.
I have a huge smile on my face whilst writing this blog post; the nostalgia is already hitting me.
Linked below, is my hour-long Summer 2018 Spotify playlist!
I wanted to share my playlist, instead of writing about each song individually; so you could listen along with me and hopefully feel the nostalgia and Summer vibes that I feel.
Let me know if you like my song choices and if they remind you of Summer! Also, let me know if you'd like me to make and share more playlists from other decades and/or seasons. It could be really fun to make a "songs that take me back" blog series!
Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog post, it always means a lot to me!
How Anxiety Affects My Friendships.
Anxiety can make you feel very isolated, especially when it comes to making friends and meeting new people.
Mental and physical health problems can sometimes make you push people away, without realising.
This is what I talk about in the video linked below.
Hopefully, some of you out there watching will be able to relate. Know that you're not alone, even if the darkness of your mind makes you think otherwise.
You are valid. You are loved.
Joining The "Band" Wagon · Part 2
BAND THAT SURPRISED ME: Periphery ~
I'm thankful to have an amazing boyfriend with a similar taste in music as me. Whenever we go for drives in the car, usually to the supermarket, I occasionally let him take control of my car's aux cable, and he introduces me to new music and bands that I wouldn't have thought to listen to. This was the case with Periphery. I was instantly blown away, obsessed and surprised by Spencer Sotelo's incredible voice and how it's integrated into their music, especially their song "Scarlet". Goosebumps. Actual goosebumps.
BAND THAT CHANGED MY LIFE: Breaking Benjamin ~
The moment I discover something that I know is going to be life-changing to me is almost like a religious experience. I honestly don't really know how else to describe it, but I find myself having deep emotional connections with things that I hold close to my heart. For me, Breaking Benjamin and their music had that exact feeling and connection. I think it stemmed from my overwhelming love for the Halo franchise and Halo 2 in particular. I remember listening to the soundtrack and discovering Breaking Benjamin with "Blow Me Away", which it literally did. It's also hard to express how exactly they changed my life, but all of their songs really hit home in some way and their lyrics trigger nostalgia, as well as good and bad memories with people from the past. Breaking Benjamin really led me down the path of discovering all of the rock bands and music that I love today.
GUILTY PLEASURE: Nickelback ~
I'm so sorry, but I have to admit... Nickelback has some absolute flippin' bangers. I will happily blast out "Rockstar" at full volume and sing along to it at the top of my lungs (only when I'm home alone of course and the neighbours can judge me).
BAND I SHOULD HAVE SEEN BY NOW: Paramore ~
Oh, how I crave to see Paramore live. Being poor sucks and I'd love to experience more gigs and festivals in general, but especially a Paramore gig. I really like the different direction Paramore has taken over the recent years and I love their album "After Laughter". I also adore Hayley Williams so much and I'm actually really into her solo stuff right now! But, having said that, you just can't beat where it all started and feel like a little badass scene kid moshing to their music. I still do... just minus the ripped skinny jeans and coontails. In other words... 🎵WOAAAAAH, I NEVER MEANT TO BRAG!🎵
GREAT BAND TO SEE: P.O.D ~
Sadly I've only ever experienced two major gigs, the first being Ed Sheeran and the second of which, I was lucky enough to see Alien Ant Farm supporting P.O.D in Bristol a few years ago. I admit, I'd never really listened to much of P.O.D's music and only really went to see AAF, but of course, I love P.O.D's song "Boom" and "Alive" and was super excited to see them regardless - and since then, I've listened to more of their music. They're amazing live, very high energy, got the crowd going and involved and it was such an awesome night and a great experience.
I hope you enjoyed reading about my choices and give them a listen, if you haven't already. Let me know if you agree or disagree with me! Make sure to check out my Spotify playlist for this blog post, linked below.
Also! Please feel free to copy and paste and add in your own answers! Leave them as a comment below or share them to your own Facebook/Instagram and encourage others to add their bands (and maybe tag me @callmejelli_ so that I can have a read).
Joining The "Band" Wagon · Part 1
There's been a music-related post circulating on Facebook, in hopes for others to join and put a pause on the boredom. So, I decided to join the "band" wagon... no pun intended!
So! Here goes...
BAND I LOVE: Issues ~
Issues have stolen my heart - especially their frontman Tyler Carter and his insane vocals. I only started to listen to them 2 or 3 years ago and I have been in love ever since, so much so, that their latest album "Beautiful Oblivion" was my favourite album for the whole of 2019. It's INSANE!
BAND I CAN LISTEN TO OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN: Fall Out Boy ~
I just find their music so goddamn catchy, fun and upbeat; it just puts me in such a good mood. It's any emo kid's anthem and I feel so nostalgic when I listen to them, especially "This Ain't A Scene" and "Grand Theft Autumn". They remind me of simpler times, like on the bus to and from school; headphones in and blasting FOB from the old iPod nano, muting the world around me and zoning out.
BAND I THINK IS UNDER APPRECIATED: Seraphim ~
I was introduced to Seraphim when my boyfriend sent me one of their cover songs to listen to because he was addicted to it, and therefore... I also became addicted. I only really listened to their covers, because it was interesting to hear rock/heavier versions of popular songs, such as their version of "The Night" originally by The Weeknd. They've done a few other covers, but then I discovered their song "Dust Eater" (and the acoustic version, which I actually prefer) and then their album "Shades of the Future" named after the title track. I think this band is so under appreciated; mainly because not a lot of people I know have heard of them. So if you get a chance to listen to them... please do! You won't regret it.
BAND THAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH MUSIC: 30 Seconds To Mars ~
I still get goosebumps to this day whenever I listen to 30STM. Mainly because I was (and still kinda am) obsessed with Jared Leto and his spine-tingling voice and screams. Especially the contrast he has; from the angelic tones in "Alibi" to the raw emotion in "The Kill". That music video is still one of my favourites to this day and incorporating Stephen King's "The Shining" gave it huge bonus points. 30STM definitely made me fall in love with the rock genre even more and had a helping hand in shaping my true emo form.
BAND I THINK IS OVERRATED: Green Day ~
This doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the occasional song, I'm just not particularly the biggest fan; leading me to think they're a bit overplayed and overrated (a bit like Nirvana... I'm sorry!). I tend to roll my eyes whenever "Wake Me Up When September Ends" plays. More like, wake me up when this damn song ends. Please.
BAND I HATE: Enter Shikari ~
I cannot stand this band and I apologise to anyone I offend, but I just strongly dislike (a better phrase than "hate") them, especially their songs "Jonny Sniper", "Juggernauts" and "Sorry, You're Not A Winner". I don't know what it is, but I just cannot get on with those songs and the band in general. They're kind of like my marmite... and I hate marmite too.
27 Facts About Me.
1. When I was born, the midwife dropped me on the floor. (Explains a lot, huh?)
2. I am a paranormal investigator and Ghost Walk Host/tour guide!
3. My favourite author is Linwood Barclay.
4. I have a phobia of the air raid siren noise
5. I am diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
6. I'm bi/pan and proud
7. My favourite colours are yellow and green.
8. My favourite subjects at school were art, science and drama.
9. I have never been abroad.
10. My name isn't actually spelt "Jayde" - on my birth certificate it is spelt "Jade" - but I've spelt my name with a "Y" for nearly 15 years.
11. I have had dreadlocks on 3 separate occasions (blue dreads, pink/blonde dreads and red dreads).
12. I have been stretching my ear lobes for 13 years - I am currently at 32mm. (I plan to go to 40mm).
13. My favourite films are the Jackass series
14. My favourite TV programme is Breaking Bad.
15. I have 7 tattoos, including a cartoon zombie unicorn
16. My car is called Martha
17. My favourite games are Halo 2, Morrowind The Elder Scrolls III and Animal Crossing New Horizons
18. I had my own online jewelry business for 6 years. (The furthest I have ever sent an order was to New York City in 2015!)
19. I have had a cancer scare.
20. I am a huge Elton John fan. (No, seriously...)
21. I can lick my elbow. 22. My favourite drink is Monster mango loco
23. My celebrity crushes are Bam Margera and Billie Eilish
24. I am a Capricorn sun, Aries moon and Virgo rising
25. I have an unhealthy obsession with plants and I want my house to look like a jungle
26. I write poetry and I am currently working on publishing my first book
27. I collect stamps
I Was On The Radio!
I had the pleasure of being interviewed for Ben Coates' radio show on BBC Somerset. His show is called Connected and it's about raising awareness for mental health and physical well-being. I talked to him about myself, the meaning behind my YouTube channel "JelliVlogs" and about my ongoing battle with anxiety and my Fibromyalgia diagnosis. Thank you so much to BBC Somerset and to Ben Coates for having me on the show, I had so much fun and it's something from my bucket list ticked off!
I vlogged my day and captured some footage from the interview. I have also uploaded the full interview, if you're interested in giving it a listen!
FULL INTERVIEW BELOW
Getting Out Of The Rut
This is the first episode of my Podcast aka JelliPods. It's been in the works for a while and it's finally here. In this episode, I talk about my struggle(s) with mental health and what has been inspiring me to get through it. I'm really excited for you to watch... ehhh.. listen to it and I really hope you like it. I can't wait to see what's in store for JelliPods in the future!
Please check it out and give it a listen, by clicking the link shown above!
Until next time, take care and I'll see you soon.
Links
SOCIAL MEDIA
YouTube
Twitch
Patreon
TikTok
POETRY & WRITING
Somerset Writers
ONwords and UPwords Online Showcase
My poetry blog
My personal blog
My Top 5 Netflix Originals.
A while back, I started a new series on my YouTube channel; sharing my top 5 favourite things from a range of topics.
I wanted to kick off this series, by sharing my top 5 favourite Netflix originals. Netflix has such an amazing and interesting variety, that are suitable for a huge range of people - there's something for everyone. I'm a bit of a Netflix junkie and I like to watch a multitude of genres. When a new film or series comes out, I always give it a watch! That's why I'm so hooked on Netflix Originals (it feels like I'm in an exclusive club) and want to share my favourites with you.
In this blog post, I've sort of condensed what I spoke about in my YouTube video, in case you're more of a reader. Of course, if you want to watch my video instead or watch it as well as reading this, it will be linked at the bottom of this post.
So, let's get right into it. I've chosen 5 different genres and my favourite movie/series within each one. I hope you enjoy my choices!
THRILLER
I'm partial to a good thriller. I started off with this genre, simply because it is my favourite. I love feeling an adrenaline rush when I watch them and I always have to have a snack handy, to help me through the super intense moments, to save my poor fingernails.
My all-time fave Netflix Original thriller has to be Bird Box. If you haven't seen it yet, you've probably heard about it, because it became a meme (and I still find them funny).
I won't say too many details about the storyline in this blog post (you could check out my video if you are interested though - hint hint), but it's what I would call a psychological thriller and a film that can be interpreted in many different ways. Not much is given away in this film, which is why I found it so interesting to watch.
Basically, there are these "monsters", which are not really shown throughout this movie. If the characters see them, they... perish, to put it lightly.
I have read multiple times, that viewers were annoyed by the fact you couldn't see the creatures, but I think that made it even more fascinating! It lets you decide, in your mind, what they looked like and because the monsters may not have a true form; they appeared how the individual perceived them to be (for me it would probably look like Pennywise or Pyramid Head from Silent Hill) *shudders*.
COMEDY
Dumplin' is everything I enjoy about a good old cheesy rom-com, musical drama and your typical coming-of-age movie. All my guilty pleasures rolled into one and I'm not afraid to show some emotions and have a laugh… and also a cry when watching.
Dumplin' exceeded all of my expectations and for being a plus-sized girl myself, I strongly agree with the message that this Netflix original conveys.
I had a really strong connection with the protagonist, Willowdean Dickson aka Dumplin', portrayed by Danielle Macdonald. I know how it feels to compare yourself to others when being a larger girl. You feel restricted in what you want to do, by the doubts in your mind and how others perceive you, but sometimes you need to say "screw it" and do it anyway. To prove yourself and others wrong.
Break the rules and the mould that society has force-fed us to believe in.
Drag queens, Dolly Parton, Jennifer Aniston and big girl power? What more could I ask for in one movie?
SERIES
What's better than finding a new series on Netflix, snacks at the ready and binge-watching the entire series (or two) in record time?
The Netflix Original series "Happy" is spot on for moments like these.
It has such a unique concept that I’ve never seen in a show before; the mixture of realism and computer-generated characters is incredible. The acting is so raw and natural as well… and not, all at the same time? It's crazy and mind-blowing!
Happy is so over the top and bizarre, with some badass moments and a few tearjerkers as well. It’s all of the emotions, with a storyline that's easy to follow.
It keeps you hooked right from the beginning.
DOCUMENTARY
Documentaries are my guilty pleasure.
I find them fascinating in so many ways. From analysing the people involved and how their minds work to becoming my very own judge, jury and executioner as the stories unravel.
In this case (ha, literally), my favourite Netflix Original “Docu-series", as they're also known, is The Staircase. Again, I won't give too much away in this blog post, but I believe there is so much more information to be revealed in this case and a lot of evidence that hasn't been discovered (or maybe it's being hidden?).
It leaves a cliffhanger and unlike other documentaries that I've seen, there still isn't a definitive answer or conclusion. It left me feeling, well… a bit p'd off if I'm being honest!
Did he do it? Watch it and decide for yourselves…
CARTOON
I love a good cartoon that makes me laugh until my belly aches.
I also love a cartoon that’s made for a more adult sense of humour, because we adults enjoy cartoons too! I grew up with some classics, such as all of the Nickelodeon shows on the good old 90’s television, so it’s really refreshing to have some more mature cartoon content to watch on Netflix and not having to be on the “kids” tab to do so!
For me, Big Mouth has some cringe-worthy humour; it’s so weird that it makes you laugh (possibly out of awkwardness) and you can’t stop watching. I can remember saying “wtf” a few times throughout the duration of Big Mouth, yet I continued to watch and ended up being obsessed with it.
I hope you like and enjoy my choices! If you've seen them, let me know your favourites in the comments and also send me your recommendations.
I'm a Netflix addict, so the more shows for me to binge, the better!
Thanks for reading (and watching, if you check out my video, linked below)