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3 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single
âGive your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and donât get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.â ~ Matthew 6:34a (MSG)
I remember the hardest day of the week for me when I was single was Sunday. Specifically, Sunday right after church.
Many of my other single friends would have plans with their families that day, but not me. My family lived nine hours away.
So, Iâd walk through the parking lot, watching young moms ooh and ahh over Sunday school artwork and Iâd think, Their lives seem so blissfully full.
Iâd walk past an older couple holding hands and think, They are so lucky to have such an easy, breezy life.
Iâd walk past a gal walking arm in arm with her boyfriend and think, She is so fortunate to feel loved.
And then Iâd get in my car and decide happiness, fulfillment and contentment were something to hope for in the future, when I found the life I desperately wanted. I was focusing on what could be instead of looking for evidence of what God was doing right in that moment, like our key verse Matthew 6:34 instructs us to do.
Boy, do I wish I could go sit in that car beside my single self and tell her some life-giving truths I now know:
1. Loneliness isnât fixed by surrounding yourself with more people.
Sure, having people to go grab lunch with you after church is great. And having the built-in companionship of your own family is wonderful. But it hasnât fixed my struggles with loneliness like I thought it would.
Some of the loneliest women I know wear wedding rings.
I had to learn to enjoy life without being dependent on someone else to create the fun for me. That way I could bring the fun. I could bring the interesting conversation starters. And I could start to better discern the kinds of people who would get me.
What are those things you truly love spending time doing, creating or researching? Invest your lonely moments there. Create life-giving experiences around your unique passions. After all, people are attracted to others who are full of life.
2. Learn from the pitfalls in friendships.
If only I would have dared to really look, I could have seen patterns of pitfalls in my relationships. Some of the same relationship struggles I had in my single friendships quickly popped up in my marriage.
Being a little more self-aware of how I contributed to frustrations in friendships would have helped me work on having a healthier marriage even before I met my husband.
I could have learned valuable self-improvements like taming my spontaneity a tad, remembering that not everyone likes to talk before the sun comes up and working to not interpret everything with way more emotion than necessary. Just to name a few.
I absolutely would have encouraged my single self to make good use of those hard friendship moments by learning ⌠really learning ⌠from them.
3. Stop expecting perfection.
All those people I was watching those Sunday afternoons werenât living perfect lives. They were having a moment of perfection in the midst of very imperfect relationships.
None of those moms were perfect moms. None of those couples were perfect couples. None of those families were perfect families.
I obviously know this with my head. But sometimes my heart gets tripped up looking for perfection and missing whatâs really good.
Single self, realize perfection doesnât exist on this side of eternity, and itâs exhausting to chase something that doesnât exist.
So, look at relationships through the lens of grace. Instead of asking, âIs this the perfect relationship Iâve dreamed about?â ask yourself, âIs this a person with whom I can both give and receive grace?â
Sundays are no longer the hardest days of the week for me. But it wasnât because I got married and had kids.
Itâs because I finally learned how to bring the joy I wanted to experience, became a healthier version of me and stopped chasing perfection.
Dear Lord, Iâm choosing to give my full attention to what Youâre doing in my life today. Help me to keep the right perspective as I place my plans and my future into Your hands. In Jesusâ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY: Isaiah 26:3, âYou will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.â (NIV)
~ Lysa Terkeurst, Proverbs 31 Ministries
Did you know that a caterpillar has 228 separate and distinct muscles in its head? Thatâs quite a few, for a bug. The average elm tree has 6 million leaves on it. And your own heart generates enough pressure as it pumps blood throughout your body that it could squirt blood up to thirty feet. (Iâve never tried this and I donât recommend it). Have you ever thought about how diverse and creative God is? He didnât have to make hundreds of different kinds of bananas, but He did. He didnât have to put 3000 different species of trees within one square mile in the Amazon jungle, but He did. God didnât have to create so many kinds of laughter. Think about the different sounds of your friendsâ laughsâwheezes, snorts, silent, loud, obnoxious. How about the way plants defy gravity by drawing water upward from the ground into their stems and veins? Or did you know that spiders produce three kinds of silk â when they build their webs, they create sixty feet of silk in one hour, simultaneously producing special oil on their feet that prevents them from sticking to their own web. (Most of us hate spiders, but sixty feet an hour deserves some respect!) Coral plants are so sensitive that they can die if the water temperature varies by even one or two degrees. Did you know that when you get goose bumps, the hair in your follicles is actually helping you stay warmer by trapping body heat? Or what about the simple fact that plants take carbon dioxide (which is harmful to us) and produce oxygen (which we need to survive)? Iâm sure you knew that, but have you ever marveled at it? And these same poison-swallowing, life-giving plants came from tiny seeds that were placed in the dirt. Some were watered, some werenât; but after a few days they poked through the soil and out into the warm sunlight. Whatever Godâs reason for such diversity, creativity, and sophistication in the universe, on earth, and in our own bodies, the point of it all is His glory. Godâs art speaks of Himself, reflecting who He is and what he is like.
Francis Chan // Crazy Love (via hecallsmelovely)
Have you ever noticed how our discussions of sexual obedience emphasize the negative? I donât mean that theyâre discouraging or shaming (though that can sometimes be true, too), but that that we focus on prohibitions rather than prescriptions. âDonâtâ dominates the churchâs guidance for singles...
The Anatomical And Physiological Details Of Death By Crucifixion: By Dr. C. Truman Davis A Physician Analyzes the Crucifixion. From New Wine Magazine, April 1982. Originally published in Arizona Medicine, March 1965, Arizona Medical Association. Crucifixion was invented by the Persians in 300 BC, and perfected by the Romans in 100 BC. 1,It is the most painful death ever invented by man and is where we get our term âexcruciating.â 2,It was reserved primarily for the most vicious of male criminals. Jesus refused the anaesthetic wine which was offered to Him by the Roman soldiers because of His promise in Matthew 26: 29, âBut I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Fatherâs kingdom.â 3,Jesus was stripped naked and His clothing divided by the Roman guards. This was in fulfilment of Psalm 22:18, âThey divide My garments among them, and for My clothing they cast lots.â 4,The Crucifixion of Jesus guaranteed a horrific, slow, painful death. Having been nailed the Cross, Jesus now had an impossible anatomical position to maintain. 5,Jesusâ knees were flexed at about 45 degrees, and He was forced to bear His weight with the muscles of His thigh, which is not an anatomical position which is possible to maintain for more than a few minutes without severe cramp in the muscles of the thigh and calf. 6,Jesusâ weight was borne on His feet, with nails driven through them. As the strength of the muscles of Jesusâ lower limbs tired, the weight of His body had to be transferred to His wrists, His arms, and His shoulders. 7,Within a few minutes of being placed on the Cross, Jesusâ shoulders were dislocated. Minutes later Jesusâ elbows and wrists became dislocated. 8,The result of these upper limb dislocations is that His arms were 9 inches longer than normal, as clearly shown on the Shroud. 9,In addition prophecy was fulfilled in Psalm 22:14, âI am poured out like water, and all My bones are out of joint.â 10,After Jesusâ wrists, elbows, and shoulders were dislocated, the weight of His body on his upper limbs caused traction forces on the Pectoralis Major muscles of His chest wall. 11,These traction forces caused His rib cage to be pulled upwards and outwards, in a most unnatural state. His chest wall was permanently in a position of maximal respiratory inspiration. In order to exhale, Jesus was physiologically required to force His body. 12,In order to breathe out, Jesus had to push down on the nails in His feet to raise His body, and allow His rib cage to move downwards and inwards to expire air from His lungs. 13,His lungs were in a resting position of constant maximum inspiration. Crucifixion is a medical catastrophe. 14,The problem was that Jesus could not easily push down on the nails in His feet because the muscles of His legs, bent at 45 degrees, were extremely fatigued, in severe cramp, and in an anatomically compromised position. 15,Unlike all Hollywood movies about the Crucifixion, the victim was extremely active. The crucified victim was physiologically forced to move up and down the cross, a distance of about 12 inches, in order to breathe. 16,The process of respiration caused excruciating pain, mixed with the absolute terror of asphyxiation. 17,As the six hours of the Crucifixion wore on, Jesus was less and less able to bear His weight on His legs, as His thigh and calf muscles became increasingly exhausted. There was increasing dislocation of His wrists, elbows and shoulders, and further elevation of His chest wall, making His breathing more and more difficult Within minutes of crucifixion Jesus became severely dyspnoeic (short of breath). 18,His movements up and down the Cross to breathe caused excruciating pain in His wrist, His feet, and His dislocated elbows and shoulders. 19,The movements became less frequent as Jesus became increasingly exhausted, but the terror of imminent death by asphyxiation forced Him to continue in His efforts to breathe. 20,Jesusâ lower limb muscles developed excruciating cramp from the effort of pushing down on His legs, to raise His body, so that He could breathe out, in their anatomically compromised position. 21,The pain from His two shattered median nerves in His wrists exploded with every movement. 22,Jesus was covered in blood and sweat. 23,The blood was a result of the Scourging that nearly killed Him, and the sweat as a result of His violent involuntary attempts to effort to expire air from His lungs. Throughout all this He was completely naked, and the leaders of the Jews, the crowds, and the thieves on both sides of Him were jeering, swearing and laughing at Him. In addition, Jesusâ own mother was watching. 24,Physiologically, Jesusâ body was undergoing a series of catastrophic and terminal events. 25,Because Jesus could not maintain adequate ventilation of His lungs, He was now in a state of hypoventilation (inadequate ventilation). 26,His blood oxygen level began to fall, and He developed Hypoxia (low blood oxygen). In addition, because of His restricted respiratory movements, His blood carbon dioxide (CO2) level began to rise, a condition known as Hypercapnia. 27,This rising CO2 level stimulated His heart to beat faster in order to increase the delivery of oxygen, and the removal of CO2 28,The Respiratory Centre in Jesusâ brain sent urgent messages to his lungs to breathe faster, and Jesus began to pant. 29,Jesusâ physiological reflexes demanded that He took deeper breaths, and He involuntarily moved up and down the Cross much faster, despite the excruciating pain. The agonising movements spontaneously started several times a minute, to the delight of the crowd who jeered Him, the Roman soldiers, and the Sanhedrin. 30,However, due to the nailing of Jesus to the Cross and His increasing exhaustion, He was unable to provide more oxygen to His oxygen starved body. 31,The twin forces of Hypoxia (too little oxygen) and Hypercapnia (too much CO2) caused His heart to beat faster and faster, and Jesus developed Tachycardia. 32,Jesusâ heart beat faster and faster, and His pulse rate was probably about 220 beats/ minute, the maximum normally sustainable. 33,Jesus had drunk nothing for 15 hours, since 6Â pm the previous evening. Jesus had endured a scourging which nearly killed Him. 34,He was bleeding from all over His body following the Scourging, the crown of thorns, the nails in His wrists and feet, and the lacerations following His beatings and falls. 35,Jesus was already very dehydrated, and His blood pressure fell alarmingly. 36,His blood pressure was probably about 80/50. 37,He was in First Degree Shock, with Hypovolaemia (low blood volume), Tachycardia (excessively fast Heart Rate), Tachypnoea (excessively fast Respiratory Rate), and Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). 38,By about noon Jesusâ heart probably began to fail. 39,Jesusâ lungs probably began to fill up with Pulmonary Oedema. 40,This only served to exacerbate His breathing, which was already severely compromised. 41,Jesus was in Heart Failure and Respiratory Failure. 42,Jesus said, âI thirstâ because His body was crying out for fluids. 43,Jesus was in desperate need of an intravenous infusion of blood and plasma to save His life 44,Jesus could not breathe properly and was slowly suffocating to death. 45,At this stage Jesus probably developed a Haemopericardium. 46,Plasma and blood gathered in the space around His heart, called the Pericardium. 47,This fluid around His heart caused Cardiac Tamponade (fluid around His heart, which prevented Jesusâ heart from beating properly). 48,Because of the increasing physiological demands on Jesusâ heart, and the advanced state of Haemopericardium, Jesus probably eventually sustained Cardiac Rupture. His heart literally burst. This was probably the cause of His death. 49,To slow the process of death the soldiers put a small wooden seat on the Cross, which would allow Jesus the âprivilegeâ of bearing His weight on his sacrum. 50,The effect of this was that it could take up to nine days to die on a Cross. 51,When the Romans wanted to expedite death they would simply break the legs of the victim, causing the victim to suffocate in a matter of minutes. This was called Crucifragrum. 52,At three oâclock in the afternoon Jesus said, âTetelastai,â meaning, âIt is finished.â At that moment, He gave up His Spirit, and He died. 53,When the soldiers came to Jesus to break His legs, He was already dead. Not a bone of His body was broken, in fulfilment of prophecy (above). 54,Jesus died after six hours of the most excruciating and terrifying torture ever invented. 55,Jesus died so that ordinary people like you and me could go to Heaven. All He Asks You is to Love Him, Your Lord, Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mindâ!!
I've never had to put so much effort in a class. I've never felt drained & overwhelmed from math. I keep wondering why I put myself through this. But by His grace, he keeps reminding me to keep going & keep pursuing what he's given me. Although many times I've wanted to give up, I haven't. Mark 10:27 he tells his disciples, "impossible with man. But with God. With God all things are possible." Every time I start hw or even step into this class I'm reminded of His special words. I know I can do this. Just as Abraham never doubted & kept going; as I will.
a . m o m e n t . w i t h . y o u r . m a k e r
whether youâre in high school, university/college, full time work or youâre a full time parent, you understand the need for sleep, for a moments peace, for âdown timeâ and for a space within your place to simply breathe. a place to find your footing, settle yourself and energize your mind, body and spirit. for some of you, this comes through disappearing into a novel in a quiet place, putting in headphones on public transport, laying in your bed with the curtains closed, or sipping a coffee at a corner table in a quiet cafe. I wonder, how often do you feel tired or lethargic, and turn to a coffee or an energy drink before you turn to Jesus? how often do you reach for your headphones to hear relaxation through music, before you turn to Jesus to receive His peace? how often do you search for advice or guidance on the internet, before you turn to Jesus and His word to find your direction? how often do you look to the left and the right, in hopes of a quick easy fix; though His word says right before you, to come to Him, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Martha spent her days hurrying, stressing, preparing and pushing her way through, she was unsettled, unnerved, distracted and distressed. whilst Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, at peace, listening to His ways. in frustration, we often cringe at the response from our friends âjust pray about itâ or âjust seek Him on itâ and we can relate to Martha cringing at Maryâs decision to just sit in His presence whilst she was stressed and busy, and asked âdonât you care that she is just sitting there and I am doing all of this over here alone!? tell her to help me!â â Jesus responded âMartha, Martha.. you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are neededâor indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.â luke 10:41-42 in the same way that Mary simply chose to take a moment with her maker, and chose Him first over the question, stress and clutter of all that was to be done, or all that she needed, we also need to find a moment with our maker.
Jacinta / hope-movement.tumblr.com
You kinda have to just accept things as they come, deal with it with the right things, & move on with your life. It's never easy but with work & running to God it'll make things a little more simple.
so real.
Life goals
And then she married the man she dropped into the well.
but I can only be myself when I'm with You.
⢠21424 â˘
going back to '09.
2COR. 6:14-18 MSG â˘
"..I'll live in them, move into them. I'll be their God and they be my people. Don't link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I'll be a father to you; you'll be sons & daughters to me."