Small Joys

I am Jaymie Horak, 24, and this is my tumblr made to hopefully be an encouragement. I am quirky, odd but fun to be around most of the time.

[delicatepoetry]

I have seen him at his best, and his worst… I cannot decide which I love more, his happiness, or raw emotion. But I love him, all of him. Every single side and bit. I love the sky above his head, the floor he walks on. I love the words he spills over morning coffee, the whispers he mumbles in sleep. I love the tears he blinks away, the red in his cheeks. There is not a part of him I can’t accept, there is not a part of him I can’t love.

i.c. // every single side and bit  (via kvtes)

[feelmyvibesss]

[assmanager-deactivated20150830]

do you ever meet someone and you’re like wow I could write a book about you

[jaymieleannehorak]

My Top 5 StrengthsFinder Results of Jan 2010

1. Connectedness 

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

2. Activator 

“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that “there are still some things we don’t know,” but this doesn’t seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green. Besides, in your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, guided by your Activator theme, you believe that action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can’t. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you.

3. Adaptability 

You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once. 

4. Woo

Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up a conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don’t. Not only are you rarely at a loss for words; you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once that connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet — lots of them.

5. Communication 

You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid. And so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span. They are bombarded by information, but very little of it survives. You want your information — whether an idea, an event, a product’s features and benefits, a discovery, or a lesson — to survive. You want to divert their attention toward you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is what draws you toward dramatic words and powerful word combinations. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world, and inspire them to act.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer

[autopilot]

[jaymieleannehorak]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[businesshag-deactivated20160606]

we all need to collectively unlearn the idea that certain achievements (i.e. graduating college, getting a job, moving out, etc) only count if they’re achieved by a certain age or within a “normal” time frame.

going through life at your own pace does NOT equate laziness or failure.

accomplishments don’t have an expiration date.

[purplefemme11]

Also everyone’s idea of accomplishment varies. Let people have their victories. Don’t rain on someone else’s parade.

[halcyot-deactivated20231026]

The person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean. That’s the person you’re in love with

[sarahabdul4-deactivated20170928]

I’m not searching for my other half because I’m not a half.

Realizing this is one of the things that made the biggest difference in my life, not just in my relationships. (via suspend)

[jaymieleannehorak]

Sometimes we (and by 'we', I usually mean 'I') focus so much on wanting to be accepted by a certain person or persons that we are blinded to all the people we have around us, passionately loving us.

I understand that there are times where this is not the case, but sometimes it is and it happens often enough to be pointed out.

What I mean is this - I see someone (typically a male that I have interest in, but not always because sometimes I want to impress someone I just think is cool). This person will define how "accepted" I feel until I either move on to someone else or open my eyes to the other people around me.

[gospelofthekingdom]

A gay man in Arizona was refused service at several restaurants. An atheist invited him to his home to eat. Which of these was a neighbor?

Keith Giles (via myfightcomesintothelight)

[cutegaywitch-deactivated2021022]

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

instant cute outfit with minimal effort

it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages

sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable

u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

[aneastcoastbreeze-deactivated20]

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

[cutegaywitch-deactivated2021022]

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

[gorillafear]

I am dirty because I believe in a God who tells me dirt beneath my fingernails, and trudging through the muds of this messy life, is the most beautiful thing I will ever get to do. I believe in a God who tells me getting dirty is my job description.

- hannah brencher (via gorillafear)

[the--boy--who---lived]

[stardustcrumb]

You can see the difference in how these characters were brought up clearly from the younger years. Harry if you remember has to be prompted to tell his name, most likely because the Dursley’s hated to acknowledge he is important. Ron, as an afterthought tells his name as though he always gets a head of himself and must be reminded all the time to tell others who he is. While Hermione recites her name as though she has walked up to so many kids trying to make friends, because her parents told her the easiest way to make friends is to introduce yourself. And finally Draco leads with his family name because it shows his pure blood status and sets him above the rest; it is what makes him important and special, and his last name is the only thing that matters. Yet in the end war does not care what your name is, it hurts without discrimination, and that is what the second gifs display all to well.

[jaymieleannehorak]

Because I believed I was a burden, I would pull out of conversations when they got too personal. And despite the strongest of invitations to connect, I feel, intrinsically, that the other person will eventually be burdened by his or her relationship with me. I find myself doing a great job at small talk, trying to be charming and all, but when it comes time for a person to actually know me, I run for the hills. Any ability I have to be charming also comes from this desire not to be a burden. If I'm light and easy to be around, my community won't want to throw me out.

Donald Miller in Father Fiction

[jaymieleannehorak]

The first time I heard this song, I fell in love. I like Train already... but the lyrics slammed me.

"We all got bruises."

It's the story of two people who knew each other in high school catching up much later in life and realizing that life isn't perfect. They both got slammed by life. And it is a way of connecting them... because we connect through the pains and struggles. It takes away the things that separate us and brings us together. Things have changed a lot since high school, but they have this is common: life had hurts. And it connects them again...

"It's good to let you in again. You're not alone in how you've been."

... and then "Leaving you makes me wanna cry."

That's beautiful.  That pull to each other.

But the lines that seemed most important to me?

Him: "I would love to fix it all for you" Her: "I would love to fix you too" Both: "Please don't fix a thing whatever you do"

It's like saying... "Gosh. I hate seeing your pain. It hurts ME. I want to fix your problems. I want to fix that broken part of you. ... But neither of us really... needs that. We can't actually fix each other. We can only be there for each other and love each other while we each deal with our own problems. And that's going to be best."

That's how I hear it anyway. It's such a good reminder for me. I like to fix things. I see broken things in other people's lives and my desire is to fix it. Give them advice and solutions... push them to do it... fix it myself, if possible. Make them trust me so that I can fix it on their behalf. 

And I can't do that. It isn't useful or helpful or even good. No one wants to be "fixed" by another flawed human. I'm not going to do an excellent job. And even if I did... it just wouldn't help the person. It's my job to stand back and love them in the brokenness. In my own brokenness, in their brokenness... my only action should be to love them in it. Love them as they fix themselves... or as they seek God... or seek whatever method. Encourage them. If they ask advice, we can talk about things. Get involved in other ways. But the goal isn't to actually "fix" anyone.

I love the transition. "I would love to fix it all for you" is saying I want to fix the bad in your life. And she responds with "I would love to fix you too." And she's getting to the heart of it. The real action that would happen. It isn't about fixing the issues. It's about a broken person that we want to fix. 

But please... don't fix a thing. We connect. We are together. But it isn't your job to "fix" my life. Your love will help. Your connection will help. Your advice may even help. Your accountability may even help. But it's my choice in the end. Not yours. You can't make it yours. You just... can't. 

Ah. Beautiful song. Beautiful message. Not sure if that was the point of it... but that was my take. 

Thoughts?

[jaymieleannehorak]

Dear You,

I address faux letters to you differently than my stories about you.

When I talk to my usual audience, I am aware that they do not know what it means to be wrapped up in your presence. They do not understand how I feel when my body freezes because your smell drifted towards my nose. Nor do they understand how you look in dark grey v-necks, where the viewer, namely me, can see just a bit of the hair across your chest – but not enough to make it weird.

They don’t understand what it’s like when you throw your head back in laughter and slap your hand against the table. How can I express the ways in which you live life in such incredibly huge movements? How can words be used to describe how it feels when your blue eyes look into my own and know that if the world ended around us, all I would see is you? There is no language that accurately explain these feelings, like the one of comfort that comes with a touch of your finger moving a stray hair out of my face.

So it is easier to write to you than it is to them.

You may not know what it is like to react to you, but you know what it is like to be you. You see in the mirror the same toothy smile that draws me into hugs. You see in the mirror what I long to see next to me each day.

The world ought to be jealous that it does not know the way you make people feel, but perhaps they are the lucky ones.

They do not miss you when the curtains close and the lights go off. They do not count the holes in the ceilings to avoid wondering who you are laying awake thinking of. They do not know what it means to be swept away in your magical world, where I can leave my problems at the door and be with you. They ought to be jealous, but I am jealous of them.

Sincerely,

Me

[Wrote this awhile ago... finally felt like posting it... eek!]