Random Things (I block haters) Occasional vent blog Song Witch

Sometimes reblogs things about cats and things I like polyaethiest

[jaynedoe908]

Nightmare Wedding update

So fake mother is going to pay for my ticket to go to horrible fake big sister's wedding on 27.9 because the ticket can't be on hold for much longer so it will be paid for and if I decide not to go I have to say so a week before so they can get their money back, and then today when I didn't bring fake father a towel like he wanted and he got it himself I was berated told that I'm selfish and that I need to remember that in family we have to so called work together, will someone please get me the hell out of here?!!!!

[jaynedoe908]

Pressure to go to horrible fake big sister's wedding tickets are being purchased my ticket is on a maybe status if I decide not to go and fake mother told me that I owe no one anything and I didn't even decide if I'm going I said I would make an effort and now it feels forced on me what am I supposed to do when I'm being told that if I don't come the evil emotionally abusive bride will be sorry if I don't come what am I supposed to do?!

[jaynedoe908]

Was put in a corner

Fake horrible big sister is getting married in September she asked me on a video call if I would come to the wedding and she was smug about it she doesn't really want me there and even told her fucked up fake fiancé' that I may say I'm not coming and it would disappoint her she said that with a smug too and I told her I'll try to make it and after telling faker mother about it she put in me in a corner too say and said when the plane tickets have to be bought I will have to decide and she smug about it too and put lots of pressure on me, I fucking hate them I don't want anything to do with them, they trigger my panic attacks and they don't care they're happy about it and it's ugly.

[jaynedoe908]

Update

I finally got out of the bomb shelter I'm in a safe place

[jaynedoe908]

It's back, there's rockets flying over my head and I can hear them being intercepted and it's on my nerves and I'm scared and triggered there were sirens just now it was awful and again an alter on my phone

[jaynedoe908]

Bought them today @lokimymuse @rynfinity @stoneserafina @malicemismanager @befreebehappya012 @incredifishface @thisdorkyblogthing

[jaynedoe908]

I do not find this funny

I don't think this is funny at all but I wanted to post this here incase someone here did think this was funny

[nncastle]

The peonies are like two weeks late. They were hit hard by winter and this cold we’ve been having. One of my favorite plants.

[everyday-cutephoto]

[jaynedoe908]

Didn't go and feeling rotten

I didn't go to the holiday dinner and I feel rotten and mocked and awful and drained I hate this so much and tomorrow horrible so called family is coming over for lunch what a nightmare! someone get me out of here!

[jaynedoe908]

Ugly crying

I'm not good I'm crying and feeling on edge I have a minus in my bank account but I know it will sort itself out because my benefit is coming and I blocked in app purchases on game apps because they were draining me and so called mother she asked me if I'm coming tomorrow to holiday eve dinner and I said I don't know and I'm crying now because I'm feeling way too much pressure and I don't know what to do help me!! someone help me and get me out of here!!

[jaynedoe908]

Happy Birthday @befreebehappya012

Happy birthday @befreebehappya012

I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and to tell you that I'm so glad we met, you are a lovely person and you are funny and fun and sweet and kind and you are creative and I wish you all the best and wish for you all the happiness and health in the world and may you look back on all your birthdays and smile and may you be happy and I wish you to have success and to keep being creative and to keep writing and drawing and just keep being you, happy birthday!

[jaynedoe908]

Stressed out and have allergy cold

I am stressed out and my jaw hurts and I have and allergy cold and it doesn't matter that I aired out my room or cleaned the ac's filter I still had to vacuum my room and have awful sneezing fits, this isn't fun and I am drained and feeling really awful and everyday I am being told to my face just how unwanted I am so I'm not doing well.

[jaynedoe908]

Cease Fire

For those of you who may be wondering it is cease fire here and I am not in a place where there still sirens and alerts that is only happening right now in the north side of this hell hole place and people there are in a horrible state I won't go into it but it's not human, and I used to hear sirens and missile interception sounds and that's it, there has been shrapnel found here but that is it, no house or building has been hit directly, so I am safe in those terms just wanted you all to know. @rynfinity @lokimymuse @stoneserafina @malicemismanager @incredifishface @befreebehappya012

[jaynedoe908]

I am being spied on

So called mother let out the cats last night, yes we have cats, 3 cats and some stray cats that walk in and it was about 5am and I was still awake not by choice, it's hard to sleep when intrusive thoughts and your allegories and your anxiety keeps you awake and she told me she saw that there was a light from "my room" showing that I am still awake, the only way she could've known that is if she peeked around the corner that is the only way to see into the small path that leads to "my room" it's not really a room anymore it's a jail cell with an air conditioner and a bed and blankets.

And I feel so violated and I hate her so much for doing this to me, she never wanted me anyways and she even said today after I joke about her making faces that I go to another mother, I mean this bitch had a smug look on her face and she is always laugh at me and when I call her out on it she says I'm not laughing at you I am laughing with you, you make me laugh, she's a liar and when I tell her you don't say it enough she says yes I do that's not true and I say no you don't and then she says she'll "try" and say it more often and she doesn't, someone please get me the hell out of here, please get me out of here!!

[jaynedoe908]

Worst Holiday Eve ever

There's a holiday here right now, passover holiday eve dinner just finished it was horrible, I was made fun of through out the entire evening and was glared at with daggers, they all made me jumpy and even more anxious than I already was and so call horrid big sister said I want to offer you to come to my house and help me clear up because she's leaving soon to move to the USA.

She's getting married the evil bitch and she already said don't tell me no right away or at least pretend to think about and I said no and the bitch said well you don't have to say yes just don't dismiss the idea and I can't remember the last we spent time together, bitch was talking about listening to music and watching tv shows that she likes that creep me out and she always does this.

And so called mother made fun of my anxiety all because I said that I don't want to see myself as someone who left Egypt she said forget Egypt you barely get out of your room and she thought I would laugh at that and it's not funny at all and I always remember the hard way with them not to show myself to keep it all hidden and she very aggressively said she was sorry, these people are evil and I am cursed.

[everyday-cutephoto]