Jay Writes Things

I'm Jay and I write things.

[jaywritesthings]

Christmas Music

I work a retail job. I like it. I work with great people and I enjoy doing repetitive tasks. That being said, I have been dreading this day since I started working there. Today was the day we started playing Christmas music. Now, let me be clear, I am not a scrooge or a terrible person or a general malcontent, but if there is one thing I am not a fan of it is Christmas music. Think about the all the music in the world you love. Now imagine if you had one or two albums worth of that music, and that was all you listened to for a whole month once a year. Every time you got in a car. Every time you were in a store. At work. At your friends house. Probably even at your house. That alone would be hard to bear. But, music that isn't even that good. Music that for some reason has captured the part of humanity that thinks smiling in public isn't weird and put it into a aural format. Music that makes most of America feel so happy that when you say you find it annoying people act like you have stolen there joy from them. That is hard to listen to. For a whole month. Every year. But among this sea of terrible songs there is one that always brings me joy, and makes me smile - even in public. Feliz Navidad. So here it is. Sing along with me.

[jaywritesthings]

Jaypartment Living: Rambo Rat

This grainy photo you see is of three mouse traps that were configured to ensnare a field mouse who has decided my apartment would make a better winter home than whatever field he came from. It failed. This morning we found the peanut butter licked clean off the trap. This is the second night in a row. This mouse knows exactly what he's doing. He somehow mouse hopped around the two other traps and licked all of the peanut butter off of the trap without triggering a single spring. He's some sort of rat super soldier. And since we caught two of his mouse buddies already, we drew first blood. Techincally we drew two first bloods That's why he's now known as Rambo Rat.

And yes. Those Wikipedia article links were necessary some people just don't have suitable Rambo knowledge. #Rambo

[jaywritesthings]

Essential Viewing: "Brody Stevens: Enjoy It"

Six months ago my roommates and I sat down to watch Behind the Candelabra using a borrowed HBO Go account. After the film, we stumbled upon "Brody Stevens: Enjoy It!" an HBO Digital show, and it blew my mind. The show is a quazi-documentary series that follows Brody Stevens, a Los Angeles comedian who comes off more as an intense motivational speaker with a knack for self-promotion than you're traditional comedian, as he goes through a mental breakdown and then tries to resurrect his career. The show blew my mind. We watched all six of the fifteen minutes episodes in one sitting that night. It was so fascinating, entertaining, and unlike anything I had ever seen before. Now, Comedy Central has started airing an expanded version of the series, and it is even better. The new thirty minute format allows for an even more in depth look at Brody Stevens and allows for the show to dip into more serious waters. This show is essential viewing for it's groundbreaking look at mental illness and the pure enjoyment that comes from watching Brody Stevens himself. So check it out on Comedy Central Sunday nights at Midnight Eastern/11 Central Time.

Comedy Central

[jaywritesthings]

Film Review: Man of Steel

So, I just got off of my flight home for Thanksgiving. Overall, it was a nice flight. Not a lot off turbulence. There were nice flight attendants. I even had nice people in my row. The only thing wrong with my flight is that they offered in flight movies. This on it's own is a very nice thing. The problem is that I chose to watch Man of Steel. Spoilers follow the poster:

I had heard this was a bad movie, but I figured it was worth a watch to see how bad. I was wrong. This movie made me so frustrated I am surprised I didn't pull my hair out by the time it was over. Between Superman's chest S standing for hope on his own planet, the weird ability of hologram Super Dad to be everywhere and do anything, Lois Lane knowing Superman's secret identity and using his real name while he is costume, and the terrible advice the Paw Kent doles out to his son. This film gets all the details wrong. It's fight scenes aren't even fun, and worst of all  Superman kills somebody. Again SUPERMAN MURDERS SOMEONE! SUPERMAN! The kindest superhero that ever existed is now a murderer. That isn't dark and gritty. That is a complete betrayal of a timeless character.

In summary, unless you are a glutton for punishment or want to get rid of all your hair, stay away from Man of Steel.

[jaywritesthings]

French Music Friday

French Music Friday is a catchy name, huh? It gives one a sense that I'll be doing more of these in the future. To be honest, I doubt it. I just don't know that much french music. What I do know is that Bonnie and Clyde by Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot is one of the best songs I've ever heard. Basically, a french translation of a poem Bonnie Parker wrote about Clyde Barrow and herself, the song seethes a sexy cool that could only come from the 60's. And as if that wasn't enough, the video exudes its own odd coolness. With orange and black coloring playing beautifully against the destroyed barn setting. Watching this music video might be the best way to watch spend a French Music Friday or any Friday, really.

[jaywritesthings]

Essential Listening: Theory of Everything

I first heard of Benjamen Walker about a year and a half ago. I can't quite remember how I cam across him, but it doesn't really matter. All i know is I was searching for great podcasts to listen to and Benjamen Walker's Too Much Information fit the bill. A weekly hour long show on public radio station WFMU, it was informative, funny and just downright interesting. The show was a mix of monologues, interviews, radio documentaries, and phone calls with a recurring cast of characters. Each episode focused on a theme, but the theme usually wasn't apparent till all the pieces were put together. It was lyrical and amazing to listen to. Now, Walker has moved on and started a new shorter program made as a straight to the internet podcast. This allows Walker to be even more independent and play to his own whims and strengths. In many ways Theory of Everything is the same show as Too Much Information, but in many ways it's better. By shortening the run-time of each episode it allows Walker to focus on quality more than quantity and it shows. His recent show about the psychology behind various forms of queues is a great example of that quality. Check it out below. You'll be glad you did.

[jaywritesthings]

Days I wish I was in a band

Today is one of those days I wish I was in a band. It's not because I necessarily love playing music. I played tuba, the baritone, and trombone in high school band, as well as the guitar, drums, bass, and even some vocals in a church band. I mean enjoyed all of that stuff, but not enough to want to gig on a usual basis. Plus, the instrument I was most proficient in was the tuba, and the only band I can think of with a tuba is The Roots. Really what it boils down to is I want to hop in a crappy van full of equipment and people who all want the same goal and drive around the state from tiny gig to tiny gig. I don't want to record. I don't want to practice. I just want to write music and tour. But not even that really. i think after one day on tour I would be fed up and freak out because I can't handle not having my own personal space. I'm pretty sure I would get kicked out of the tour van by day three and I'd be stranded by the side of the road with my tuba and keytar trying to hitch a ride home. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be in a band. Which means I'm right where I want to be.

[jaywritesthings]

Essential Viewing: Columbo

I don't know how, but it has taken me 23 years of living on this earth to start watching Columbo. Man, have i been missing out. Columbo is officially one of my new favorite TV shows of all time. For those who don't know, Columbo is basically an excuse to watch Peter Falk, his fake eye, and his shabby trench-coat (no seriously, Peter Falk wore his own trench-coat on set), walk around pretending to be oblivious and lulling the bad guys into thinking he's not a threat. He keeps up the charade till the last minute when he finally nails the criminal. That's what makes the show so great. It's not just the amazing acting, the wonderful camera work, and great scores, it's the joy you get from watching Columbo slowly put all the pieces together, as you also watch the murderer try to cover up. That's right. Columbo isn't a normal whodunnit. Oh no! It's a howcatchemit. Which means from the beginning of the episode we know who the killer is, and even better we always know that Columbo will catch them. Go watch Columbo. Seriously right now. I'll wait. Go ahead.

[jaywritesthings]

Music for a time

Music has a powerful connection to memory. Certain songs or albums bring us back to a specific time. Those songs and those memories will always be tied together. "Music for a time" is a look at music and the times it calls back to.

My first album is Master of Puppets. The classic Metallica album that should be a staple of any metal-head's record collection. I wore this CD out when i was 12. It was first introduced to me while on camping trips as a Boy Scout. We used to go camping once a month and many trips I wound up in a car that played Metallica and lots of it. The Black Album was also a heavy favorite of the car DJ, but I always preferred the rougher sound of Master of Puppets. The album had a harshness that stood apart from the oldies and Elvis tracks I was raised on. This album grabbed onto my changing hormones and gave me away to channel that weird feeling growing up brings into something angrier and more "real", yet also amazingly safe. Though I don't listen to much Metal now a days, when I do it's usually this album. It has a way of making me feel like I'm twelve again: wearing my Boy Scout uniform in the back of a Honda Civic feeling like I'm rebelling against the world.

[jaywritesthings]

Netflix Confession

I have a confession. When I can't goto sleep at night I watch Netflix. that's not much of a confession. I mean tons of people do that. But, I don't watch binge watch a TV show or watch a good movie. Instead, when I can't sleep I watch kids movies. I usually watch some kind of superhero cartoon. But lately, I've run out of those. I've had to resort to DreamWorks holiday specials and the like. The other night I reached an all new low and watched a straight to DVD Lego movie: The Adventures of Clutch Powers. I think this might be my Netflix rock bottom. The film is an obvious rip off of Indiana Jones, but instead of using aliens to ruin the franchise they use a wizard and a prison planet. Also, in case you're wondering there is a "snake, why'd it have to be snakes" reference in case you couldn't tell it was ripping off Indiana Jones, by way of the Simpsons, and by that I mean the characters are yellow.

[jaywritesthings]

Titles

Usually when I sit down to write a script one of the first things that pops into my head is a title. My current feature has been the opposite. No matter how hard I think about it I can't seem to find a good title. So, what is one to do? I mean this is my thesis script. That means every week I have to turn in a copy of my script with updated pages to my class. I can't just turn in my script with "To Be Determined" on the title page (Although, now that I mention it, that's not a bad title.) So, instead every time I sit down to write I spend ten minutes brainstorming the worst title I can think of. So, every draft has a new terrible title. It's brought a new little bit of fun into my writing each week. Who knows? Maybe I'll keep doing this for all my scripts. A few of my titles are listed below for your judgement and perusal:

#1 Last Great Meeting of Times We Once Forgot and Long to Wish to Remember

#2 My Good Friends Wedding

#3 Alma Marriage

That's all I have so far. Maybe I'll update when I get a few more.