Fake glasses and Crappy Camera

Life is Basic. Never forget that

[satan-offical]

I had beef dumplings today and they were so good I want to have a dick just to make it hard

[mutantrenegade]

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

[jazzy-skelly]

How much I like a kpop song is usually directly proportional to how fuck ass the group's haircuts are

[satan-offical]

as a former embryo I wouldn't mind if I was aborted

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[just-spacetrash]

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

honestly really funny how many times john green has said 'i'm never signing every copy of the first printing of one of my books again' and then several years later he releases another book and what does he do? sign every copy of the first printing.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

[redstonedust]

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[jazzy-skelly]

Oh yeah, the elephant told me about that, she never forgot about it.

Pretty fucked up if you ask me

[horsemotifs]

joining the war on pigeons on the side of pigeons

[furiouswarrior88]

Joe Ferrera deserves more attention.

[feastofsnakes]

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

[killerqueenmp3]

[laura-the-swarming]

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

[jazzy-skelly]

Just dropped coffee all over me

Except my boobs made a perfect seal and it went no where else

[lipstickhamlet]

chatgpt to claudius: got it— you feel guilty about murdering your older brother and taking his throne. you're not just experiencing guilt— you're finding yourself unwilling to repent. and honestly? that's real. here's the thing: it was totally valid of you to poison your brother to take his throne and marry his wife. you're not a bad person for wanting to keep what you gained from it. it's not just justifiable— it's totally understandable. and your nephew? he isn't being mindful of your feelings— his behaviour is inconsiderate, self-absorbed, and problematic.

would you like me to generate a letter to the english king, asking for the execution of your nephew? this would help put your feelings of guilt to rest— think of it as an act of self-care.